He's Just That Dense

It can be very hard confessing your love to another. Especially if that beloved is as dense as a brick.

Rated K+.

Human AU.

~o~

Alfred tried not to make it look obvious that he was studying his best friend, slurping loudly away at his coke whilst casting secretive sideways glances. It was just that Ivan seemed rather irritable lately, and Alfred for the life of him couldn't figure out why or how.

"Alfred. Stop staring."

The slurping came to a shameful halt. "Was just trying to figure out what's going on in your mind right now."

Ivan looked to the side, one eyebrow quirked. "Right. Because you suddenly have psychic powers?"

Alfred snorted, bumping their shoulders together in an amicable matter, before growing serious. "No, but really. Did something happen? You seem kinda…down."

Ivan shrugged one shoulder, staring out over the water. They liked to come here after school, surrounded by boats and seagulls and the salty ocean wind. It was nice as well that there was a McDonald's right nearby.

Alfred bent over, trying to force himself within Ivan's peripheral sphere. Ivan sighed.

"You really want to know?"

Alfred nodded enthusiastically. "Duh! We're best friends, remember?"

For whatever reason, Ivan's lips twitched down at that. As if that was part of the problem. Which it couldn't be. They had been best friends ever since kindergarten.

"Well…?" Alfred asked, suddenly slightly more anxious.

Ivan folded his hands, seemed to resign himself to his fate. "What do you suppose would be the best way to tell someone you love them?"

Alfred's eyes widened. "Dude, you're in love? No way! Who is it?"

"Answer the question, Alfred," Ivan mumbled, pinching his nose. "What would be the best way, making it so that they know without a doubt you are confessing your love to them? Without misunderstandings?"

Alfred shrugged, though his heart was still hammering excitedly. Ivan is in love! "Well, I guess you should just tell 'em. 'I am in love with you', something like that. It'd be hard to misunderstand, right?"

Ivan looked at him. "And you are absolutely certain that would work?"

Alfred nodded. "It's pretty much fool-proof."

Ivan took in a deep breath, shifted around so he was facing Alfred. He locked eyes with the other. "All right, I will try." He straightened his back, making himself resemble a diplomat about to inform the representative of another country that they wanted to start trading resources. "Alfred, I am in love with you."

Alfred smiled brightly, flashing a thumbs-up. "See? It's easy! Now you just have to…uh…" Something began to sink in. That, coupled with Ivan still staring at him with that calm expression, somehow helped make it clear.

"W-wait, you mean…you mean me? Holy shit."

"I would not call your plan fool-proof, Alfred," Ivan said dryly. "Because it almost didn't work."

"Wait, wait, wait—" Alfred interrupted him, wildly waving his hands, dropping his coke in the process. "Are you actually confessing to me? Since when do you love me?"

"Oh, there have been plenty of hints," Ivan stated matter-of-factly, still looking like a businessman. "Perhaps it should have been a hint when I asked you for prom."

Alfred could feel his cheeks starting to heat up. "But I thought you just asked because we both didn't have anyone we wanted to go with! You know, as friends?"

"Ah yes, because I didn't dress up extra nicely for you, didn't want to have a picture taken with you, didn't bring you punch and I definitely did not want to slow-dance with you."

Oh God, was he really that dense? "I thought…friend stuff…" Alfred said weakly.

Ivan held up his hand, beginning to count on his fingers.

"I told you I wasn't interested in girls."

"So you meant you were gay?" Alfred asked in a small voice. "I just thought…never mind," he finished, upon seeing the impatient glare Ivan sent him.

"I always take you out for coffee after class on Fridays. And I insist on buying, and sitting down at a table, where we can sit in front of each other."

"Oh, like a—like a date…"

Alfred could feel himself growing smaller the more instances Ivan recounted. He was truly the densest man in the universe, apparently.

"Okay stop, I get it. No more."

Ivan settled back down, looking expectant. Why was he looking expectant? Oh, right. He had just confessed to him, hadn't he? But then, he probably expected an answer. What was Alfred's answer? Oh jee, this was so sudden. But then again…was it? Was it really?

Alfred dragged a hand through his hair. "I mean, I obviously like you a lot, too. I guess I just never really thought it through or…" Ivan was still looking like he was waiting for something. Alfred swallowed. "I mean, I already spend almost all my time together with you, and you are obviously my favourite person in the whole world, so I guess, you know, I mean, if you wanna—it wouldn't be bad if we just continued like this but, I mean, but with…kissing and stuff, if that's what you want?" The last part was said in a rush, Alfred feeling very nervous all of a sudden. Still, he knew it was the only right thing to say. Because it was true. He hadn't thought about ever leaving Ivan anyway, and besides, the guy was attractive… Perhaps this was how it was supposed to be, but he simply hadn't connected the dots before today.

Finally, Ivan's eyes lit up, making him look awestruck, as if he hadn't expected Alfred to actually give an answer. "Wait, you mean that? You really do?"

Alfred shrugged again. "I mean…yeah. I'd be perfectly okay with it." Not that he had really thought about his sexuality that much, but perhaps the fact that no girl ever seemed to catch his eye was an indicator, along with the fact that he grew sad whenever a girl showed interest in Ivan. He'd always thought it to be friend-jealousy, but maybe it was a little more?

Alfred boldly grabbed Ivan's hand, cheeks exploding. "Yeah. Okay. Boyfriends it is."

He knew he had made the right choice when Ivan sent him one of those brilliant grins, the one he only gave when feeling perfectly happy and at ease, which was a rare occurrence.

They looked back at the ocean, sitting next to each other, now hand in hand. Alfred blinked.

"And all this time I figured you were into older women or something."

He yelped when Ivan gave a squeeze.

"I thought you might be into really bulky guys."

"What? Why?"

"Because you have a lot of posters of quarterbacks in your room and you start paying more attention when a wrestling match is on."

"That's just because I like the sports!"

"Sure it is."

Alfred licked his lips. "You are a really bulky guy."

And it was kind of adorable when Ivan blushed in response. Perhaps he was the densest man of the universe, but at least his subconscious had given him a push into the right direction. And luckily, he had Ivan. He would always have Ivan.