When Barry had imagined telling Eddie he was the Flash, it certainly wasn't like this. In his mind he would have just rescued him, preferably in the most badass way possible. Then he could take advantage of endorphins, unmask himself, and let his incredibly hot, cop boyfriend in on his secret. Said incredibly hot, cop boyfriend would then be so impressed with the baddassery and endorphins himself that no explanation would be needed and they could move to the really fun portion of the evening; testing the multitude of uses for his power and how best to exploit those to their advantage. Or on a much healthier level, relationship-wise, he could have just sat him down and told him. Barry figured the second was probably the best call, though he still routinely fantasized about the first, and that had been as far as he'd gotten on the whole unveiling process.

Which brings us to now. See, he'd been late four times in two weeks, and if Eddie's increasingly icy texts were anything to go off of, his date was getting a little peeved. So, he'd made use of that key he'd borrowed earlier that day for this very occasion and was attempting to apologize by making dinner and surprising Eddie. In hindsight, maybe he shouldn't have waited so late to head over. And, maybe, just maybe, using his speed to attempt to both get ready and clean up a bit because he had waited so long had been a bad idea. Didn't Caitlin keep telling him not to rely on it for everything? She could never know that it had, in fact, come back to bite him.

That was how he came to be standing in the kitchen; slack-jawed with one arm behind him stirring, while another was frozen mid throw towards the garbage can. Eddie wasn't much better. He was sporting the same shocked expression, though his arms were more natural with one hand on the door he'd just pushed open and the other hanging limply at his side. Barry thought that Eddie had won out on the arm thing, his were getting a little tired of being held at such an odd angle.

Barry wasn't aware of it, but a similar thought crossed Eddie's mind.

Those two random, yet synchronized, realizations seemed to bring light to the fact that both were still frozen. Eddie acted first, pushing his way in and closing the door behind him quickly. Barry sighed in short lived relief at being able to relinquish his own pose.

"You scared m-", His smile faltered when he saw the look on Eddie's face.

That answered one question, he had seen. Barry had held out some sliver of hope that the shocked look had been because of catching him in the apartment, or perhaps his ridiculous position. The way he walked stiffly passed him without a word, sitting on the couch with his head held in his hands answered another. He was pissed.

His second sigh was anything other than relief as turned the stove off and moved to sit next to him on the couch.

"Eddi-", He stopped again, the face that had turned towards him wasn't pissed; it was profoundly hurt.

His mouth went dry and whatever he'd planned on saying died in his throat. Of all the faces he'd imagined during his rounds of fantasy unveilings, this was never one of them. Shock, lust, anger? Sure, they'd all had a starring role right alongside appreciation and awe. Unabashed hurt and betrayal? Somehow, those had ended up on the cutting room floor of his mental movie studio. Careless executive decisions ruin films, and possibly relationships.

"You're the Flash?" Eddie's eyes looked him over in a way that Barry might have found insulting, had he not been so terrified that he was losing the man in front of him. He rubbed his face in his hands, groaning and trying to find some way to stop that from happening.

He tried to choose his words carefully.

"Eddie, I swear, I was going to tell you," Eddie had turned away from him and Barry could see that far from saving this situation he seemed to be making it worse, regrettably, the words still came, "but there was so much going on-"

"Stop." Betrayal and hurt were now sharing the spotlight with insulted. There was an unmistakable sheen of threatening tears that Barry didn't want to think about, but made his heart clench.

He was afraid that anything he could possibly say right now would destroy any chance he had of making this right again. If that was even an option anymore, he had to get out of there, away from that look and that broken voice. He had to think, and he couldn't think around this pressure in his chest that was making it hard to breathe.

He stood up, backing away from the couch and nearly upending an end table.

"I…" Eddie looked to him, and he faltered, "should go." He ended lamely.

He waited half a beat, long enough to see Eddie turn away from him, long enough to see a glimmer of moisture caught in his lower eyelashes, then turned and left; hoping this wouldn't be the last time he saw these walls.

~.~

Monday

"You're the Flash?"

It wasn't a particularly complex sentence, but the loaded implications behind it and the look on his face that Barry could not get out of his head; had become the running theme of his weekend. He'd hoped that weekend would have started off with Eddie forgiving him for his chronic lateness and Barry helping him remember why he forgave him until Monday.

Instead it saw him putting more work into his training than ever before. Dr. Wells expressed his approval of Barry taking it so seriously, he had no idea that in truth, he was just trying to run from that Friday. Run from that voice that had torn so softly through his gut.

"Stop."

He couldn't blame Eddie for being insulted by his lame excuse. There had been time, of course there had. It just hadn't been "the time", that had been his own excuse. Fear that he'd be rejected, fear that he'd put him in more danger. That last one didn't hold much water though, he was probably in more danger not knowing what he was getting into with Barry and his secret life.

If he was honest with himself, and really what was the point in lying now, he could admit that he was mostly afraid that Eddie wouldn't want him anymore. It was one thing to harbor a secret crush on your neighborhood superhero, and man did Eddie have that covered, but to find out that your boyfriend was the one behind the mask…

Admitting to lying since the beginning, putting himself in danger on a daily basis, and generally just the idea of adding one more layer of secrets to their already under wraps relationship; Barry wasn't sure how well that would go over.

He thought that Caitlin had some idea, maybe not what was happening exactly, but she seemed to pick up on the fact that he wasn't throwing himself into his training because of newfound dedication. Her words had been softer, gestures more on the touchy feely side. Cisco had been too excited about explosives, and his smiles had been contagious; giving Barry a small break from his inner replaying of that day.

"Decided to grace us with your presence?"

Surprised, he looked up to see Iris standing across the table from him, knowing smile on her lips.

"Don't look so shocked, your frequent absences from the house have been noticed." Her expression turned playfully stern, "And eventually, the cause for those absences should come for dinner."

"What are you doing here?" he blurted out.

She turned her head slightly to the side, questioning.

"I work here Barry."

"Oh, right…" he shook his head, "sorry, long weekend."

Iris chuckled.

"That good, huh?"

Barry caught her eyes and her expression softened.

"That bad then?"

He nodded, accepting the coffee she was pouring into his cup gratefully.

"I-uh, yeah. Yeah, you could say that." Barry wrapped his hands around his mug, watching the swirl of milk, "It would be the understatement of the year, but you could say it."

"So, what did you do?" She sing-songed, pulling up the chair and settling in.

"What makes you think I'm the one who did something?" he asked indignantly, never mind she was right.

A raised eyebrow was her only response.

"Yeah, okay." He sighed, defeated, "The takeaway here is I messed up, the details…"

He waved his hand dismissively. What were his other options really? He didn't have it in him at the moment to come up with a cover story, and what, possibly piss off another person close to him by letting them know he'd been lying. That he'd been the elusive Flash she'd gone after. Or if she took it okay, then he'd still have Joe on his ass for telling her.

"They're not important." He mumbled into this mug.

Iris sighed, she knew something was going on with her best friend. He'd been keeping secrets for a while now, since he'd woken up from the coma. She hadn't picked up on it at first, too happy he'd been alive, but she had noticed eventually. Lately he'd had another, as much as she was used to it, the elusive answers and disappearing, she didn't have to like it. There was a time they'd told each other everything, and logically she knew it was normal for that to change as they got older. Again, she didn't have to like it.

"Barry," she reached across to still his hands, "is it worth saving?"

He looked at her, uncertain, and she nodded.

"Well, maybe that's the question you should answer first."

He pulled his hands away, standing to shrug on his jacket and grab his bag.

"I've got to get to the station."

Iris checked her watch and smiled broadly.

"Barry Allen, early to work. Will wonders never cease?"

Barry smiled back tiredly, pushing his way onto the sidewalk outside the café.

His reasons for leaving early had nothing to do with work performance and everything to do with avoiding any awkward encounters with Eddie. Before this, accidental disclosure, he'd enjoyed running into him at the station. Even when he'd been upset about Barry's chronic case of lateness, Eddie had always greeted him with an enthusiastic smile and a half step in his direction before remembering the secret aspect of their relationship.

Barry had taken those smiles and half steps for granted, and the idea of running into him now and getting nothing, or worse, some faked acknowledgement for appearances sake…he didn't think he could face that.

He reached the station and paused before pushing open the doors, bracing himself for the possibility that Eddie had had the same idea. He let out a slow breath when the mostly empty precinct greeted him. He'd never seen the place so quiet, soft murmurs came from desks as though the other occupants were afraid to breach the calm atmosphere the building held. He found himself by the chair he'd been sitting in when he'd first met Eddie.

Battered and bruised, he'd glanced up at the new detective he and Iris had just been slightly mocking as a pretty boy who kept a tally. He felt a slight flush at the idea the man may have heard them, but Eddie's broad smile seemed to say he hadn't.

"So, I hear you tried to play hero." He turned his eyes to Barry who shrugged sheepishly.

"I, uh, guess I didn't really think it through." He supplied lamely.

Beside him Iris removed her hand from his shoulder and straightened up, attention on Eddie.

"Thanks for being in the right place at the right time," She patted her bag, "I don't know what I would've done if I'd lost this."

Barry recognized that tone and rolled his eyes before looking towards Iris, already knowing what he would find on her face. He wasn't sure his stomach could handle the 'given the chance I'd like to know you in the biblical sense' eyes at the moment, but ever one for self-torture, he turned to Eddie expecting to find the same reflected back in Iris' direction.

Oddly enough he didn't need to worry about his ability to hold his dinner down. The look was there alright, but surprisingly it wasn't directed to the woman on his right. Instead it was directed right at him.

Barry swallowed thickly, the blue eyes bearing down on him making his stomach clench in a wholly different manner than he'd anticipated. Eddie broke first, turning a wide smile to Iris and leaving Barry to let out the breath he hadn't known he was holding.

Shaking himself out of the memory, Barry made his way to the lab, pausing again at the door to the modest work out area. His eyes rested on the heavy bag.

After he'd woken up at Star Labs, he hadn't given much thought to that encounter. There'd been so much going on that he'd almost forgotten that loaded moment between the two of them.

At least until Eddie had decided to blow off steam, and use Barry to do so. It had started innocently enough. Eddie kept pushing, telling him to hit harder, and Barry had finally broken; hitting the bag hard enough to send Eddie staggering back. He'd gone to apologize, but Eddie had smiled and waved it off.

"I knew you had more than you let on." He'd winked and grabbed the bag again. By the end of their blowing off steam session, that look had returned and Barry was pretty sure he'd given back as good as he'd received in that department. It became a regular occurrence, the two of them working the bag. They'd managed to tone the looks down when they were with the rest of the precinct, but small gestures had taken their place.

A hand dragging lightly against the small of a back, resting against an arm for a moment here and there. Knees knocking together when they sat, elbows brushing when they walked past each other. Still they continued the workouts, Eddie claiming it was his duty to make sure the next time Barry chased down a thief, he wouldn't be the one bruised up.

Barry was enjoying this building feeling between them, and with each session it ramped up until he felt like the only thing keeping him from viciously attacking the blonde haired man was the bag placed firmly between them. When Eddie suggested they move to punching mitts instead, Barry had been exhilarated at the idea of actual contact.

He'd tried to follow Eddie's instructions, while trying to keep his own speed under control; but, that control was stretched thin as it was. Eddie's eyes seemed to challenge him to something, all the while taunting him to hit harder and faster. Honestly, it was a miracle Barry held out as long as he did before he surged forward, grabbing Eddie by the face and bringing their mouths together with enough force that their teeth cracked together.

Eddie had groaned at the pain, but quickly removed his mitts and used his freed hands to roughly push Barry against the wall, missing slightly and ending up at the side of the window. The corner dug into his back and Barry couldn't have been less concerned about it at the moment because Eddie had coaxed his mouth open and their tongues were currently performing a complicated dance that made him moan in appreciation. Their bodies were moving together, desperately trying to find the friction needed to bring this moment to a head.

Afterwards, they'd laid on the floor, both in dire need of a shower before certain pieces of clothing became glued to their anatomy; neither caring to address that issue. They'd preferred soft touches and slow kisses around lips that smiled to broadly to really get the job done properly.

Barry thought back to Iris' question. Was it worth saving? He remembered Eddie's hand on his face as they'd laid there, tracing his jaw.

"That was…" Barry had begun.

"Worth the wait." Eddie had supplied, his eyes dancing and voice soft.

He had felt a different clench that time, this one was slightly higher and slightly to the left.

Barry had his answer, he knew what he'd had with Eddie was worth saving; he just wasn't really sure on the how.