Warning: I didn't think Kakashi's PTSD was covered well enough, so I decided to do it better. Considering I specialise in the sick and twisted (though I've never really posted any on here before), you should be able to work out what to expect. Violence, implied sex, lots of swearing, you get the picture. It's rated M for a reason.

If Kakashi seems OOC, that's 'cause I've based his character off what he would be like (knowing his back story) with PTSD. He rounds himself out by the end, so don't worry, hopefully you can grasp the fact he's not quite right and everyone knows he needs help to become the goofy, aloof, secretive ninja we've grown to love. Review, tell me if you love it or you hate it and follow! Now that's over with, enjoy!

Obligatory Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

Delirium

Kakashi knelt in front of the Hokage's desk, one knee up while the other was on the floor, his head lowered to show respect. The ANBU operative knew not to be rude; his behaviour had been under incredible scrutiny the entire time he'd been a member of the elite ninja directly under the Hokage's command. Sometimes, though very rarely, it was even beaten into them. "Stand up, Kakashi."

Kakashi did as he was told, standing up with his hands behind his back, feeling the shift of his ANBU mask on his shoulder as it tapped lightly against his skin, reminding him of the small cuts he had obtained whilst away from the village. They didn't hurt, the feeling just reminding him that they were there. It almost itched, though he refrained from scratching them as not to draw attention. "Yes, Lord Hokage, sir."

The Third Hokage wasn't a naïve man; he watched Kakashi with careful eyes, looking him over. Something was off, though that seemed normal about the silver haired man these days. "Have you been to the hospital yet?"

Kakashi shook his head, grabbing his mask as he heard it tapping against the blade strapped to his back, forcing it to stop. "No."

"Why not?" the Hokage asked. It wasn't as if the discussion about the mission that Kakashi had been sent on was crucial; the short visit to the hospital would not have gone astray, particularly when the cuts along his skin gave the elderly man the impression they'd easily get infected. None were deep - well, at least that he could see - but they were a mixture of long and short. It looked like someone had been... scratching him. That was an unusual tactic to say the least and there was nothing about it in the report. He must have neglected it on purpose unless they'd somehow manifested since the morning, though that was even less likely.

Kakashi's stern expression didn't waver. "Because I didn't think it was necessary. I have all I need to care for my minor wounds at home," he said, a miniscule pause filling the gap before he spoke gain. "And, quite frankly, I think everybody knows my relationship with hospitals, Lord Hokage."

The Hokage gave a single nod. "Yes, we do," he replied, recalling a particular story where Kakashi had decided to leave early without notifying the nurses. His home was searched and frequent places he'd been known visit; the Hokage had almost sent out a search party when the silver haired ninja casually walked into his office to request his next mission.

The Hokage cleared his throat. "Very well. Your report that you submitted earlier claims the woman told you all of the information you obtained."

"Yes, Lord Hokage."

"They're planning to revoke the peace treaty. When the next group of ninja visit the village, tey're going to slaughter them," she breathed as he felt her moving beneath him. His hand sat on her throat, enough to give pressure but not enough to choke to death, though he could easily choke her harder if he decided to.

"Right. And she just told you this?" the Hokage asked, leaning forward a little more."Well, there was some coaxing of information required," Kakashi drew the kunai slowly up her leg, grazing into her skin enough to sting but nothing else. A tiny drop of blood spilled down her leg but that was all. She moved under him again, gasping as she grabbed at his shoulders, digging in her nails. "What do you know about the Earth village?"

The third Hokage frowned. Kakashi had never been one for interrogation; it took too long. That said, he did seem particularly cryptic this time. "Torture?"

Kakashi shook his head. In all of the years he'd been out on missions, he was kill first and ask questions later. Or he'd ask the questions and kill them after. Never did the two intermingle; if he had to torture them for information, he was better off bringing them back to Ibiki who would at least do it right. "Definitely not. Torture is not my style, Lord Hokage."

He pushed her down, biting into her skin enough he could see the dents, blood pooling under the surface. She moved again. "Kakashi..." she groaned, biting her lip to escape the pain that coursed through her. She pulled on her restraints, crying out as he did it again. He sat just above her skin, so close she could feel the imminence of another bite but it just wouldn't come. It was worse than if he'd left her there to bleed out, not that she was bleeding enough to do so in the first place.

"Are you going to tell me?"

The woman grinned. "Not yet."

The Hokage raised an eyebrow. "So you threatened her and she told you?" he asked and was more confused when Kakashi shook his head again. What in all of the land of fire had happened? By all accounts, it didn't make sense. Who in their right mind would just tell someone information that confirmed imminent war. "Genjutsu?" Another shake of the silver mop that lay atop the future sixth hokage's head.

"Hey, what do you look like under the mask?" the woman asked and Kakashi frowned. "I'll tell you about the Earth village's plans. The obvious confirmed for a sneak peak at the infamous cold-blooded copy ninja's face? What do you say?"

Kakashi felt her hand creep up his arm. He grabbed her and watched her expression change as he did so, even more so when he gripped tighter. "Do you think I am here to hear your bullshit?"

"No, I think I'm tired of this pussy-footing around. If they want war, start fighting already. Some of us know what we want; we're tired of hiding it," she replied. She smiled as she moved her fingers under the edge of his mask. He didn't even hesitate, watching as the white ANBU mask came off, revealing the black mask underneath. "Now, that's unfair."

"A deal is a deal."

"We didn't shake on it."

Kakashi sighed. He felt her hand running up his arm again. He hadn't been touched there by anyone unless it was by a medic in years. Kushina was probably the last, though even that had a different connotation to it. That was almost motherly. Then there was Rin before that; Rin was much more subtle and innocent.

He snatched her hand, moving it behind her back in a single movement as she leaned back, pulling him closer. Their bodies collided, stuck to each other as she grinned, a look of satisfaction on her face. He could smell her, his nose buried in her hair. When was he last this close to someone? Never? She leaned in and began to tug on the side of the black cloth, her lips sneaking in to kiss the tender skin underneath. "I have a better deal."

The Hokage sat in thought for moment. Had he heard what he just thought Kakashi had said? "A deal?"

"She wanted to see my face. She'd heard that no one had seen it and wanted to be the only one," Kakashi replied, giving a single nod.

"That's it?"

"Yes," Kakashi replied.

The Hokage frowned. That made even less sense. Who would trade their life or the secrets of their country for the sake of seeing a man's face. Even if it was Kakashi's. "So why'd you have to kill her? She had marks all over according to the med report."

Kakashi didn't hesitate for a second. "Living to tell anyone wasn't part of the deal."

She pushed him just enough to make him retaliate reflexively; pushing her to the ground as she groaned. Kakashi grabbed tighter, hoping to exhibit a different response than the one he was getting. "Tell me."

She stayed silent, staring at him. He put a hand to his weapons pouch, holding the metal tip against her leg. There was no look of distress as her eyes almost pleaded him to go on. He scratched it over her skin and she moaned. "Get it all out, Kakashi."

Kakashi grabbed her arms again, pinning them above her head. "Stop fucking with me."

She gave him a sultry look as she pulled the rest of his mask down, running her fingers across his bare throat. "Then start fucking me."

"So you killed her because she saw your face?" he asked, hoping he'd receive some sort of intelligible answer. It just didn't make sense. Sure, Kakashi was cold, but he wasn't that cold.

Kakashi nodded. "Yes, Lord Hokage."

"And in exchange for showing her your face, she told you everything."

Kakashi stood a little straighter. "Yes, Lord Hokage."

"You're fucked," Kakashi said as he pushed her down into the ground more as he started to get up.

"I'd like to be. But the others are too soft. Complete turn off," she retorted as she grabbed him again, taking advantage of his instincts. "Come on, you know you want to. The others are too boring for you too, right?"

Kakashi held his blade to her neck. He could smell her hair from here, desperate to "You'll tell me?"

She smiled and nodded. "Do it right and I'll tell you anything you want to hear, Kakashi-kun."

The Hokage sat in thought for a few more moments. He couldn't make sense of it. "Kakashi," he said as he filed the papers into their folder. "I want you to go see Ibiki."

Kakashi frowned. "Why?"

The Hokage sighed. "Because I'm genuinely concerned about you Kakashi. I will let this clear lie of a report slide if you go speak to him, this time only. He will tell me if you are suitable to keep on the field."

Kakashi sighed. "Yes, Lord Hokage."

Kakashi made his way down towards the interrogation rooms. He heard the screaming from down the hall, though his steps didn't falter. He'd been here a number of times; once upon a time, he thought he'd never stop feeling shivers down his spine at the sound, though he'd become numb to it as the years passed. He found an empty room, sitting down at the table as he waited patiently. He hung his sword and mask over the back of his chair, leaning back.

"It's been a while, Kakashi. Got someone to see me?" Ibiki asked as he walked into the room.

"Yeah," Kakashi said and Ibiki looked a little surprised, mostly by the absence of the person he assumed to be interrogating. "Lord Hokage wants a psych review."

Ibiki was surprised and yet completely understood; he'd always known Kakashi was borderline bat-shit insane. Considering he was still on the side of Konoha with no signs of wavering any time soon, they'd let it slide for now. He'd obviously fucked something up if the Hokage had finally decided it was time to double check it was the right decision.

"I see. Well, let's get this over with then."

Ibiki was surprised by just how far past the line of okay Kakashi was. This wasn't like the normal crazies he dealt with daily, the ones that probably needed a good dose of regular psychiatric visits for a month or two and then they'd be fine. No, this was locked room, straightjacket, pumped full of so much medication he wouldn't know which way was up crazy. What made it obvious wasn't how terrible his answers were; it was how perfectly he was able to give the answer they wanted to hear. He got a perfect grade; something only ever achieved by those with serious mental issues.

"Kakashi, you passed the written test with flying colours," he said and Kakashi looked bored. "But, you failed the psychological exam with potentially the worst scores I've ever seen."

"Hm?" Kakashi asked, unsure of how that could be possible. He was fine, wasn't he?

Ibiki sighed. "Let me put this to you bluntly; you're fucked."

"Huh, that's what I said to her," Kakashi replied, though it was a couple of seconds later when he realised Ibiki was waiting for an explanation. "On my mission."

"And what did she say to that?"

"I forgot. Does it matter?"

"Clearly. You are quite defensive about it," Ibiki replied. "Regretting killing her?"

Kakashi shrugged. "It had to happen. Death is death; it always happens in the end. There's no escape from it."

Ibiki frowned. "You didn't have to; she could have returned to her village and pretended she wasn't the rat. But you killed her instead." He sighed; if Kakashi had shown some more significant signs of regret, his career might have been saved. "Well, I'll need to go inform Lord Hokage."

Kakashi followed; he might as well have heard the verdict now rather than wait and come back in again. He listened silently, a blank expression on his face as Ibiki explained how mentally unstable he was. The Hokage seemed to be fishing for reasons not to remove Kakashi from duties too, though there none besides the fact he was the most efficient and effective of his ANBU operatives. But they could manage without him; there was no doubt about it, Kakashi was being let go.

"Lord Hokage, may I make a suggestion?" Kakashi asked as it became clearer and clearer that the Hokage was close to forcing him into early retirement.

The Hokage knitted his fingers together, giving a look of genuine concern and interest. "Certainly, Kakashi."

Kakashi gave a single nod. "If I show signs of improvement, may I resume my duties?"

The Hokage looked at Ibiki. "Ibiki?"

Ibiki thought for a moment. "You'll see one of my subordinates weekly. You have six months to show improvement or we'll concede to the idea you are just not viable. We will not put you in any more danger than necessary."

The Hokage nodded. "I agree. However," he said and the two men snapped to attention, "you will not return to ANBU duties. It has been ten years already; not many survive this long."

Kakashi didn't want to concede but he did; he wasn't even sure if he still wanted to be a ninja. It wasn't conflicting feelings, he just didn't care. The only reason he'd fought for his rights was because he didn't want to be stuck in a stall for the rest of his life. He'd sooner go insane from the mundaneness of it all; he'd make bat-shit crazy look like sunshine. He nodded at the Hokage, walking out of the tower and towards his home. He wasn't sure what to do for the afternoon; training seemed pointless when he was clearly not going on a mission for a while, unless he miraculously became normal. Or at least seemed it.

So all he had to do was act more normal; that couldn't be too hard, could it?