WARNING: Violence, self-harm.
A/N: Hi, this is Sara (worshiperofunknownstories) and as I promised, this is my second submission for Angst Week (Day 1: Scars & Bruises). This time... GRUVIA! Thankfully writing this came up to be way easier than the previous one (except for the summary... I HATE SUMMARIES! Please don't judge this fic for it... -.-')
As always, special thanks for my betas: myentropicmess, mavis-118 and onlywordswithoutsense. Also, Ed Sheeran, again (seriously, he writes love songs and yet... all I can think about when I listen to his voice is angst... I declare his music the OST of alongthedistance works for this week!).
Disclaimer: FT belongs to Mashima-sensei.
Gray didn't try to hurry his steps to reach the door faster. "What the hell is happening with the weather?" he asked himself. It was extremely odd for Magnolia to be raining at the end of the summer. Actually, it was odd the fact that it was raining itself. He didn't care about the rain, though; in fact, he enjoyed it. At least, it was better than having to endure the high temperatures under the cruel sunlight.
Two days after the beginning of the academic year, Gray was more than tired of his classes, too exhausting and boring. Besides, he wasn't comfortable sleeping in the classroom like Natsu and even if he tried, he wasn't in the mood to handle one of Lucy and Erza's combined crabby speeches for their behaviour. So he just skipped the last class and decided to have a walk under the gloomy rain
The girl closed the door quietly and then walked through the corridor, distracted by her own thoughts and not even staring at Gray when she passed by his side. But he did notice her. He was surprised by her clothes, all of them dark blue and too sheltered for the weather, warm despite the rain. "What's with the clothes?" he thought, and then he answered himself, "Perhaps she has a cold or something."
Natsu was in the worst of the moods that day. It was raining even harder than the previous months. The temperatures descended and winter announced his arrival with some ice sheets on the streets.
"It's been months since the last time I saw the sun," he grunted. "Come on, I can't even remember its colour."
"Oi, stop complaining, fire idiot. What did you expect? Winter is about to begin," Gray pointed.
"Well, Natsu does have a point, I mean… It's too odd that it had been raining since the very beginning of the course. I can't remember so many months of rain together," Lucy answered.
"Whatever. See you later guys, I'm going for a walk" the dark haired mage said.
"Skipping class again, Gray?" Erza's severe voice made him stop and turn back. "Your grades are lower this year, and even so you won't attend classes?"
"Lower but still approved," he answered with half smile, and then walked away from them.
After a few turns, he almost reached the exit, but he had to stop his runaway when he saw the bluenette coming out of the bathroom. That girl, how was it? Juvia. He had seen her around plenty of times, they even shared some classes, and yet, this was the first time he could enjoy the view of the fair skin of her nude arms while she was putting on her jacket. He liked the view. The girl's clothes didn't made justice to her beauty. Then he noticed the marks crossing her arms. Bruises, all over her skin. Purple and yellow tainting her arms.
Juvia raised her head and Gray got lost in the sad blue of her eyes, which widened at the time she realized she was being observed. Sheepishly, she pulled one sleeve down and began to run through the corridor towards the exit. Gray, still in shock, couldn't do anything less than follow her.
"What could have happened to her?" he kept asking himself again and again while following the bluenette across the rainy campus. The good thing was that Juvia was so startled when their eyes met that he didn't have to put much effort in hiding while chasing her. Step by step, splashing through the puddles, lots of theories were forged in his mind: a clumsy girl, an accident, a fight with a friend, perhaps any incident with a love rival... and, even though he knew it could be anything, he couldn't stop thinking that it had to be jealousy. Of course a girl like her would be dating someone. And surely guys and girls could notice her evident beauty. And then it all clicked together. It might be the reason for her clothes too, not only hiding the bruises but trying to appease someone.
Gray's persecution ended in a students resident in the northern side of the campus. He walked in as if he belonged to the place and he spied the girl until he reached which seemed to be her bedroom. Third floor, in the side facing the backyard. The dark haired walked towards the open window at the end of the corridor and took a look. He was a lucky man. It seemed that Juvia's room was the closest to the fire escape.
Minutes later, a sodden Gray Fullbuster was lost in the sight through the window. The bluenette was over there, right in front of him. Juvia had got ridden of her jacket, so he could see again the horrible bruises contaminating the fairness of her skin. Her nimble hands, dancing across the canvas, gently pushed the needle through the fabric, giving birth to a strange white doll. She was extremely concentrated, with her head so down that he couldn't see the contour of her blue gaze. Her upper body moving abruptly and the tears falling over the fabric confirmed the obvious. She was crying and yet, she kept sewing.
Both leaped after she stabbed her finger with the needle, and then the storm began. Outside the window the rain and the wind deepened, throwing Gray some steps down. Inside, the girl clenched both her fists, rabid. She raised her head and stared at the ceiling, nodding, while the tears ravaged her face. Gray's heart shrinked when he saw her, crying desperately, hugging the bloody doll that she had brought to her chest, where she would abandon it when she raised her hands to place them in her face.
After a few moments, she opened her right fist to throw the needle and then displaced her hands through her hair, staining some of her blue locks in bright red. When she reached her nape, the girl began to pull her hair with a solid grip, letting a soft groan to escape from her mouth when it began to hurt. Gray was lost in a sea of gloomy drops, her tears falling sorrowfully, rain striking fiercely. She stood up all of a sudden and walked, bare-feet, towards one of the walls, facing it. For a moment Gray thought that she had calmed down. And it all began again.
Juvia's punches were strong, but not harder than a concrete wall. She struck two times before Gray was able to react. What was wrong with all that situation? The girl hurting herself badly and him spying on her through the window. Gray didn't stop to think, just bursted through the glass, spreading the pieces across the floor. The bluenette didn't even noticed his entrance, she just kept kicking the wall. Her right fist facing cement for the fifth time, right in the same spot. Its surface gaining more red dots with each punch until a strong hand took the wall's place and grabbed the fist.
"What?" her eyes grew wide when she realized that her hand was locked between that guy's ones.
Gray stared at her arm. Were those scars? He blinked in disbelief, only to see clearer the marks that looked like thin rifts in the already marked porcelain. Not only bruises, also scars. He squinted at her as reproaching her for what he had seen, for what she had done. The girl walked away from him but her back met the wall. Gray leaned closer and his hand traveled to her skin again, as if a magnet decided to glue them. She pushed him, but the boy was faster and captured her arms, lifting them between them, to take a closer look.
"What's this?" he whispered.
"Leave Juvia alone. Who are you and what are you doing here, by the way?" she sobbed.
"Juvia, why are you doing this to yourself!"
"How do you even know Juvia's name?" she raised her head, surprised. "She won't repeat it again, anyways. Leave. Juvia. Alone."
Juvia released her arms from his grip and placed them in his chest only to push him again. She walked towards the door and opened it, asking him in silence to leave. But he refused to. Gray violently closed the door and trapped her against the wall one more time. The bluenette tried to escape bowing and moving under his arm. He didn't stop her on this occasion.
"Stop escaping from me because I've got no plans at all to leave."
"Then Juvia will be the one that goes," she walked away, addressing to the window, her bare feet stepping over the glasses he had broken.
"Would you please stop doing nonsenses? You're going to end up hurting yourself badly," he said while placing his hands around her and lifted her body, throwing her to the bed a second later.
"Why do you care?"
Gray held his tongue. He couldn't answer the question, at least not with the actual words he wanted to say. He just sat in the bed, near her and took her hand once again, with a delicate grip, caressing it. He used his sleeve to wipe the blood. She just turned her back to him, but giving in and letting him take care of the wound the needle did to her skin. Gray weave his fingers with hers and then swiveled to place their hands in front of the girl's eyes, showing her the stab she did to herself.
"Why?"
Juvia didn't answer, just lowered her head. Before he realized, he had already placed his body behind hers. His legs across the bed and near hers, their fingers still intertwined while his free hand brought her closer, making her lean her back against his chest, allowing him to cradle her. Something inside of him begged for not letting that happen again. Not again.
"Juvia. Respect yourse-, just… Don't you ever think of doing something so stupid again."
She continued speechless, sobbing at the embrace of his warmth. Juvia circled her legs with her arms and brought them closer to her chest while she bursted in tears again. Gray cuddled her with both his arms and legs, letting her know she wasn't alone. The sad experience he had lived in the past spoke for him. He would be there this time. "Not ever again," he repeated. He had lost someone just like that once. No more.
"I won't let you stay within these walls and bleed. I'm here, with you so plea-," the thick silent tears crumbling down his skin as the memories returned. The blood, the never made promises, the wrenching pain, the arguments, her… "Juvia, I can help you. Whatever it's happening inside of your mind so that you feel the need to do this to yourself, I can help you with it. I know I can this time. Please, promise you will try to stop. Can you at least give me that?"
"I can't," she answered only with her lips, her face between her legs. Gray placed his forehead, hiding the pain isolating him against her nape.
Two souls stigmatized by their own problems and tragedies. Two children that had to endure storms that only gave them brief moments of calm. Two bodies laying too close in the dark but still laying too far because of the impenetrable wall of their own stood like that until they both fell asleep with the gloomy rain as their only companion.