I don't own anything!

Artemis was often defined as one of the more restrained goddesses. She didn't squeal like Aphrodite, she didn't kidnap people for no good reason like Hera, she didn't try to force feed people like Demeter, and she wasn't as prideful as Athena.

Not that Apollo would ever admit it, of course.

As her twin, Apollo got away with things that the other Olympians didn't. So instead of being vapourised for flirting with Artemis's Hunters, he was used as target practice. Little things like that. Apollo really appreciated it after watching her get mad at Dionysus. That had NOT gone well. Most of the time, however, Apollo acted like 'a stroppy, overgrown brat who should be banned from speaking to Hermes indefinitely.'. That was a direct quote from Artemis herself. After a few millennia, however, watching the most famous pair of twins argue got boring, and Hermes had...expressed that. To put a long story short, the last winter solstice had resulted in very slow Internet and delayed delivery of parcels for a long time. Athena had had a little word, and Artemis sat down to write. Oh, this was going to be good.

Fifty Reasons Why Apollo And Artemis Will NEVER Get Along

1) Apollo is clearly the younger twin. Just ask Leto. She's dead? Well, she would agree.

2) After several millennia, Artemis does not appreciate attempts to seduce her Hunters. So, Apollo, BACK OFF.

3) Apollo has way too many demigod children. Artemis is a maiden. Who has to spend more time with the demigods? That guy.

4) Apollo is horrible at poetry, and scarred most of Artemis's Hunters for life after he went though his limerick phase. Haiku isn't much better.

5) Apollo is just a big show off.

6) Contrary to popular belief, Artemis does NOT hate all men. Just 99.99% of them.

7) Apollo nearly ended the world. Not Artemis.

8) Apollo annoyed Hades. Not Artemis.

9) Frankly, Apollo is too easily fooled. His own brother, Hermes, tricked him. You know, before he became the official god of thieves.

10) Apollo didn't even notice when his own sacred animals were abducted. Thalia Grace spotted the silver deer instantly.

11) It's obvious that Apollo was only given the title God of Music because there was no-one else.

12) Mortals admire Artemis more than Apollo.

13) Apollo is the reason why girls don't date.

14) For some reason, Apollo's son is dating the son of Hades. The only reason Hades objects is because he doesn't want to be more related to Apollo. Beat that.

15) Apollo has a habit of getting into trouble because of interfering with mortals.

16) Contrary to belief, Artemis is NOT five, and is in a fact an immortal goddess. Apollo needs to treat her like one.

17) Apollo managed to mix up his own half-sister, Thalia.

18) For some reason, Apollo thinks it's funny to try to join the Hunters. It isn't.

19) Apollo isn't called Fred. Artemis will not call him Fred. And he isn't British, Latvian, Spanish or French, either.

20) Apollo cannot be taken seriously. Artemis can.

21) Apollo clearly shares none of Athena's wisdom.

22) Everyone knows the demigods call Apollo the sun dude behind his back. There are no insulting nicknames for Artemis.

23) Most mortals would agree night is better than day.

24) Apollo gives people sunburn. There is no such thing as moon burn.

25) Humility is a virtue. Enough said.

26) It's rumoured people can go blind by looking at Apollo. And that wasn't a compliment.

27) Apollo let Thalia drive when she clearly didn't want to. As a result, she set fire to New England.

28) Girls are better than boys.

29) There is no male version of the Hunters of Artemis for Apollo, which just proves that he can't be trusted.

30) Sometimes Apollo cannot spell his own name.

31) You never hear of people calling their children Apollo, but Artemis is a popular girls name.

32) Apollo drinks too much.

33) Apollo can't prank people without Hermes' help.

34) Apollo's son is actually more famous than he is, in some places.

35) Artemis has children of the big three in her Hunt. Apollo?

36) Apollo's children are largely the results of one-night stands. See 32 and 3.

37) There is a rumour Apollo had a child with a descendant of his. Disgusting.

38) Apollo is the official player of Olympus.

39) Apollo is almost as gossipy as Aphrodite.

40) Who makes a cave for an Oracle?

41) Apollo didn't even try to stop May Castellan from taking on the gift of prophecy, despite it being highly unlikely that she would remain unscathed.

42) If it was up to Apollo, he would probably allow the Oracle to date.

43) Apollo decided to heal one girl, but not the other countless wounded.

44) Apollo pissed off Zeus, AND dragged Artemis into it.

45) It isn't eniptirely impossible for every mortal to be somehow related to Apollo.

46) Apollo is utterly careless.

47) Even Apollo must admit that Artemis is more responsible than him.

48) Apollo let one of his children heal the dead.

49) Apollo clearly favours some demigods.

50) Last but not least, Apollo can't even take credit for half of the things he did. Other people did it in his name, or they were his , they don't count.

Satisfied, Artemis uploaded her list, and waited for her brother dearest to realise what she had written.