Don't worry about Mischief and Magic, I'm not neglecting it, this is just my 'story on the side', so to speak….

This one is inspired by Lost Coast Brewery's Tangerine Wheat Ale and by Jalen Strix, who cheered me on to do this despite my better judgement and irrational fear of hobby horses….

Thanks to 3iggy for being my awesome beta!

It was Toby's 5th birthday.

Sarah perused the toy aisles with single-minded determination, she would settle for nothing less than the best birthday present ever. No other little brother would ever feel as valued as hers, no other would have such fierce consideration and guilt-induced devotion put into their gift selection. She would be the best big sister in the whole world, she would get him exactly what he wanted, no matter what anybody else, not even Karen, thought of it. Finally finding the perfect gift, Sarah checked out and made her way to her old house, grinning in anticipation of his reaction and arriving just in time for the party to start. She jumped out of her car and ran up the front steps, never noticing the rather conspicuous barn owl watching her from a nearby tree.

Toby galloped through the foyer on his hobby horse like a modern day incarnation of Billy the Kid, yah-ing and whoa-ing like he was born into his outlaw ways. He turned sharply, the wooden stick part of his hobby horse smacking smartly against his father's shins before he pulled the reins, appraising Sarah as one would a stranger in a shady bar. It had been a while since she had last visited, and he was clearly going to hold it against her.

"Toby, what did I tell you about running in the house, oh, Robert dear, are you alright?" Karen came running in from the living room at her husband's yelp and immediately began chastising the boy, sparing her stepdaughter a quick glance and a brief nod of acknowledgement.

Sarah winked at Toby and slipped into the empty kitchen, where she was soon joined by a galloping but still hesitant Toby. "Happy Birthday, buddy. Are you having a good day?"

Toby shrugged and looked at the floor, fiddling with his toy horse's ears. "It's all right. All my friends are here, and mom made me a Ninja Turtle cake!" He cheered up a bit as he recounted his day so far. "Did you bring me a present?" He looked up hopefully.

Sarah pulled the extra large bag out from behind her back as a devious smirk spread across her face. "I did. In fact, I got you exactly what you wished for-"

"But mom said I couldn't-" Toby started excitedly.

"-Yes, and I am probably going to be in loads of trouble with her over this, but my little brother deserves to have his dream present." She handed him the bag and watched as he squealed and tore away the wrappings, revealing a three foot long solid wood authentic Australian boomerang, complete with engraved tribal markings and an instructional booklet.

"Thank you, Sarah!"

He beamed at her with brilliant adoration, like she was the best sister in the whole world. The kind that always gave their brothers whatever they wanted, and never wished them away to goblins. Sarah smiled back and ruffled his hair, following along as he dashed past his parents in the foyer and into the room where his fellow kindergarteners were playing.

"Sarah!" Karen screeched after seeing what her baby boy held, but she was soon drowned out by the enthusiastic squeals of little boys who had been presented with a weapon of such major coolness.

When the party was over, and Sarah had convinced Karen to let Toby keep the boomerang as long as he only used it in the park, Sarah drove back to her little apartment over in the next town.

The owl followed her at a distance.

Sarah pulled up to her apartment and waltzed into the house, throwing her bag and keys on the coffee table and flopping on the sofa, grabbing the remote and flipping through the channels. Her roommate was out, and the flat was eerily quiet. Sarah turned up the volume, trying to drown out the silence. She couldn't stand emptiness, it gave her imagination too much room to breathe, she would begin to conjure all sorts of fantastic and terrible things, like monsters and thieves, thunderstorms and owls…

She clicked off the television and stood up abruptly, suddenly tense and alert. The sky outside was black and stormy, though she could have sworn that it was sunny and clear not five minutes ago. And that flash of white that went past the window….

No, it couldn't have been, even if it had been an owl that didn't mean it was him. That would be absurd, she reasoned. She forced herself to sit down and think about mundane things like work and bills, but her valiant attempt at being logical was blown to bits as her front door slammed open, letting in a flurry of leaves and wind and good Lord she must be dreaming….

The Goblin King sauntered casually into the dark apartment amidst a torrent of debris and glitter, his wild hair and dark cape whipping about him dramatically. His eyes never left her as he made his way across the room, a calm smirk letting her know that whatever madness was currently unfolding, he was in perfect control of it.

She stood and squared her shoulders, facing him bravely, whatever this bizarre encounter was, she had no intention of showing fear or running away, this was her turf, after all.

He stopped a few feet away from her, still smirking as he measured her, measured his words. Best to just be straightforward, he decided. Humans liked that.

"Hello Sarah. I've come to take you away, to take you back to the Underground."

Sarah gawked for a moment, temporarily struck dumb. "Like hell you are!" She glared at him, what did he think he was doing, he had no power here! She told him just that. "You have no power over me!"

The Goblin King's gaze grew cold and the smirk turned into a slight baring of sharp teeth. "You can come willingly, or not…." His voice was icy and flat, leaving no room for argument. Sarah shivered and tried to rally her courage, those words had been her safety net, now what was she to do?

Her voice took on a slightly hysterical note."You have no right, Goblin King. I'm not going anywhere with you. I have a life here, this is complete madness, I want you to leave, now!" She edged discretely over towards her lamp, it wouldn't do much damage, but maybe if she threw it at just the right moment, she could get to the door….

He gazed at the beautiful, defiant young woman in front of him with hooded eyes. For years he had waited for her to call him, but she had stubbornly moved on with her life, as if she truly thought she could forget about him, forget about all of them. He could have come for her at anytime, taken her away, but he had waited patiently, letting her grow and mature, waiting, watching, wanting. Even now, he was giving her a choice. In his opinion, he was being more than generous. But enough was enough. He was tired of waiting. He waved his hand, turning the lamp into a wicker basket full of oranges.

Sarah froze.

"Legally I would be within my rights to take you-"

"According to whose laws?"

"Mine, of course-"

"Oh, how terribly convenient-"

"-and yet, I offer you a choice,"

"Yes, you are the very picture of generosity-"

"-I am glad you agree, precious-"

"Don't call me that."

"Very well, Goblin Queen, then."

"Definitely don't call me that!" Her eyes widened in shock and her face blanched. What was he playing at?

"Oh, but it's true, you beat the Labyrinth, did you not?"

"And you as well, in case you forgot." She quipped saucily.

Jareth chose to ignore that. "Eating the Labyrinth's fruit made you belong to the Underground, to the Labyrinth, to me," His grin was a wicked thing, full of pointy teeth and dark promises. "-but when you beat the Labyrinth, you became its Queen. That is the way things work, my dear."

His smug smirk made her blood boil.

"According to you. You, who is probably making this up as he goes along."

His expression became stormy and menacing. "Excuses, excuses. Do they comfort you, Sarah? Does it make you feel safe, to deceive yourself and dismiss my words?"

His overwhelming presence filled the air with dangerous desires and sensual promises, reminding Sarah of how he had looked in the tunnels, right before he set the cleaners on her. Thunder boomed against the window and lightning flashed, and suddenly they were in the throne room in the castle beyond the goblin city.

"Take me back now!" Sarah yelled in a panicked voice.

"No. I may return you eventually, but you will stay here for a time and fulfil your duties as Goblin Queen. You have been delinquent far too long, and we will not abide it." His voice was velvet and daggers, his words affirmed by the mob of eager, cackling goblins pressing in on all sides.

She paled even more, he didn't mean what she thought he did, did he? "I will find a way back, you can't keep me here against my will! I got away once before, I will do it again!"

His voice took on a mocking quality. "I don't doubt that in the least, precious, I would expect no less from you. However, even with the best of teachers, learning to transport between worlds takes decades to master. And I am the only one in the entire Underground who is able to transport others as well as myself. So go ahead, start planning your heroic escape, I'll even show you where the library is and what books you'll need. By the time you manage it however, everyone you know in your world would be dead and gone. Make a deal with me, and you can have it all. Make a deal with me, and your family never need wonder about your fate."

Sarah was beginning to see that she was low on options. "What kind of deal?" She glared at him suspiciously.

"Promise to live here in the castle as the Goblin Queen for at least three months of every year, and I will promise to return you to the Aboveground whenever you should wish, provided at least one month has passed here. Your family will believe that you have found lucrative work overseas, and I will smooth over any complications that arise from your absences."

That just sounded too good to be true. "What exactly does being the Goblin Queen entail?" She dreaded the answer, but it had to be asked, better to get it out in the open sooner rather than later. She blushed and avoided his gaze, crossing her arms and trying desperately to think of a third option, some kind of loophole that would allow her to regain control of this situation.

He put his hands on his hips, stance wide and head cocked in a bird-of-prey like fashion, smirking at her knowingly. The words that rolled off his tongue were drenched with dark amusement. "Rule the Goblins; care for them, care for the Labyrinth and any runners or wished away that come along. Not to worry darling, it'll be a piece of cake." He quipped smugly.

Why, that arrogant…."That's all?" She asked suspiciously.

He raised his eyebrows suggestively and leered at her. "Unless you require more…"

"Hmmf." She huffed indignantly, crossing her arms and looking away pointedly.

Honestly, though, it wasn't a bad deal.

"How do I know I can trust you to keep your word?" She asked with a hard glare. She refused to be intimidated by him again. Or seduced, for that matter.

His expression gave nothing away. "I will bind my word on the same thing that binds you to me, the fruit of the Underground. Should I break my promise in any way, you will no longer be bound to me. I will then, truly, have no power over you."

Sarah considered his words carefully, then, with a somewhat forced nonchalance, nodded in agreement.

His eyes lit up and he grinned a hungry grin, conjuring a peach from thin air and sauntering over, closing the distance between them.

"No peaches!" Sarah blurted out. That was just too much on top of everything else. She didn't need any reminders of how he had once tempted her.

The Goblin King rolled his eyes and threw the peach up into the air, only to catch an entirely different fruit. "Happy?"

Sarah blinked, bemused. "An orange?" She had figured he would pick something symbolic, like an apple or a pomegranate. Citrus fruits had no menacing connotations.

The Goblin King eyed the rather anti-climactic fruit with tangible disdain before rallying, spinning the orange over his talented fingers as he fixed her with a sultry stare. Snapping his wrist, he caught the fruit in his leather grasp and began to peel, never breaking eye contact with her. He took deliberately slow, measured steps towards her, peeling as he went, stopping in front of her and taking a juicy bite before offering the rest to her.

Sarah stared, nonplussed. "What, am I supposed to take a bite too? How does eating an orange create a magical pact?" She asked, confused.

Jareth sighed. "Because it's a magic orange, now are you going to seal the deal or would you prefer to take a tour of the dungeons?" He snapped, muttering to himself, "This is why I use peaches. No one ever questions peaches."

Sarah grabbed the orange and took a bite, holding his gaze defiantly. As soon as she swallowed, the orange glowed and then dissipated, leaving them both feeling tingly for a moment. Magic orange indeed.

Satisfied that all had gone according to plan (more or less), the Goblin King snapped his fingers, summoning a suitcase and transforming his clothes into Aboveground casualwear. Sarah blinked in confusion.

"Where are you going?"

"On vacation. It's been a few centuries, I deserve one."

"You can't just leave! You're the Goblin King!"

"Yes, and you are the Goblin Queen. I wouldn't leave you here if I didn't think you capable. See you in a month, precious." The Goblin King gave her a cheeky wink as he faded away into nothing, leaving Sarah thunderstruck in a throne room full of goblins.

It took nearly 15 minutes for the goblins to get the Queen's attention. After the King had left, she had just stood there in open-mouthed shock, deaf and blind to her surroundings and unable to comprehend the reality of what had just happened.

Slowly coming back to herself, she blinked and took a deep breath, looking around at her new subjects. She wrinkled her nose and sniffed the air. "Right, so, first things first. Have any of you ever had a bath before?"

The goblins smiles fell and their hopeful expressions turned to ash as they realized that this new monarch was far crueler than she looked.

Author's notes:

If there was a way to kidnap someone romantically, this is how I would imagine it. A kingdom in recompense and plenty of PTO. Besides, infuriating Jareth is my favorite.

Why have him go on vacation, you ask? Well, for one, my inhibitions were lessened, and it seemed a grand idea at the time. More importantly though, it gives Sarah an opportunity to find her groove and get used to everything without him around to distract her.

Why did I just subject you to this? Well, the Labyfic LiveJournal prompt called for a story involving a hobby horse, a boomerang, and an orange. I did the best I could. Thoughts, questions, exclamations of bewilderment? I am almost afraid to ask, but please let me know whatcha think. This will be continued.