There are people who are just luminous. They're just so beautiful that it's so hard to look away from them. They don't even know the extent of the effect they have on people and it seems like everything they do is endearing, and all you can do is stare and hope that some of their light hits you someday.

Luminous, the word softly tumbled out of Rin's mouth as her gaze landed on Kaito. He was hunched over a book at one of the tables in the school library. From where she was standing, his fringe appeared to be partly falling over his eyes as he perused the tome, his messy hair being let free and loose more than usual, bringing more attention to his boyish charm.

Rin reluctantly stopped herself from going deeper into this downward spiral of blue hair over eyes that seemingly held the whole ocean, sunshine smiles, and the scent of chocolate ice cream. In her mind's eyes, in a fleeting moment that seemed to pass too quickly, the sight of cerulean eyes murky with unspoken emotions, pristine blond hair, and charming unctuous smiles washed over.

Composing herself and hoping she didn't look quite besotted, she made her way over to him. Afterall, they had a project to work on.

"Hello, Kaito! Sorry I took so long."

"Hi, Rin," He gave her a welcoming smile, one that never fails to reach his eyes and warm his visage." It's okay. I just got here."

"So I got some idea for our content." Rin started haphazardly bringing out her things from her bag and that's when she caught sight of something in his grasp." Oh, that's a cute pen."

It was a blue pen with an ice cream cones patterned design and a vanilla ice cream cone on its lid.

"Thanks. Luka gave it to me last year." His expression softened and there was an endearing smile on his lips as he stared at the object, probably thinking of his pink-haired girlfriend.

With a pang in her chest, Rin gave him a wobbly smiled that she hoped didn't look like a grimace instead before throwing herself into steering the conversation away from Luka Megurine or anything closely related to that subject.

Four years

That day marked four years of friendship.

She almost couldn't believe that it's been four years since she met that thirteen-year-old boy with cerulean eyes that hint at a story, weighted down by a maelstrom of bridled exhaustion and a tinge of despair in that in that playground colored in honeyed and soft sunshine. She could still remember the that lost look on his face as if he was searching for a place a place that doesn't exist.

He was going to be living with the old couple that lived a couple of blocks away, he said, his grandparents.

Just like the previous years behind them, they were visiting the playground where they first met, the new girl fresh from Korea, the weight of jetlag and cultural shock still clinging to her and he, the naturally charming boy moving to a new inconspicuous neighborhood in an almost fruitless attempt to leave behind his not so inconspicuous life behind, too young to live on his own but not too young for the all-consuming melancholy and dejection.

It had started out as something random that Len jokingly claimed as their friendship anniversary which eventually become something like an annual ritual for them that they religiously partook in. SeeU would bring banana cake to which she'd never fail to point out she's still amaze with his commitment to his cake of choice and he'd bring cream puff that he'd jest have the same color as her hair.

SeeU glanced at her wristwatch. They were supposed to be meeting at 5 pm. It was now 5:15 and there was still no sign of Len. With her feet firmly planted on the ground, she rocked herself on the swing just so she could occupy herself with doing something. There is no solace to the idle motion, only stirring nostalgia, mixing memory and the heaviness sitting inside her.

Some of the children frolicking about in the neatly fenced playground are being called and ushered home by their parents. The cacophony dwindled yet this doesn't reassure SeeU at all. A nagging thought poked at her rising dread and her chest trembled at the deep sigh that she unknowingly let out.

She doesn't want to look at her watch but she does anyway.

6:00 pm

The vibrant colors of the playground gradually drained away as the sun sank behind the horizon and the greens of the well-maintained grass bled into shades of grey under the darkening skies. Her shadow slowly shrank towards her feet as evening approached and the gust of cold air against her skin is another harsh reminder of this. Rubbing her arms did little to keep the wintry temperature at bay and perhaps the coldness had long seeped into her for the numbness had already coursed through her veins.

Maybe she mistook Len's words earlier that day? She could've sworn he said he'd meet her at 5. Perhaps, working on their project had dragged on longer than expected. Given, Len hadn't been the poster child for punctuality but still…

6:30 pm

There's a spot in the seemingly well-maintained ground where the healthy greens fell away and scrubby grasses choked the ground. And there's still no sign of Len.

7:00 pm

A broken horse spring ride has unfortunately caught her attention. It was as if the picture of innocent fun had been taken away at the darkness of the evening that settled in, replaced with something that seemed sinister. The rusty spring barely held it up, limply supporting the horse from under it, making it appear like it was twisting in unnaturally odd angle. Along with the writhing twist were its eyes that stared ahead, looking like it was crying for help against the darkness of the park.

The lamppost could only do so much against the dim backdrop.

There are the occasional rustle and susurrus. She tried to placate herself with the reminder that she lived in a peaceful neighborhood with zero crime rate and no cases of missing people… yet.

Around 8 pm., she almost jumped out of her skin when her phone rang in her pocket. Apparently, Len had finally replied to her texts.

He couldn't make it, it said. Rin finally had time of her busy schedule with working on their project and they wanted to make the most of it. They were going having dinner together. He apologized and promised to make it up to her.

He said that all in his text.

A text.

The same method of communication used for items that shouldn't be forgotten to buy at the supermarket, reminders of the things left at each other's houses or even asking about a homework due the next day.

It was a bitter pill to swallow that she wasn't even worthy of a call, especially after how long she waited.

She barely remembered when drops of needle-sharp coldness had started falling. The rain kept going in haphazard chaotic drops, hammering into the earth. Buckets of water had soaked her clothes and hair, raindrops clinging to her eyelashes and there's an added weight dragging her down.

She couldn't help but wonder if this was what all those girls felt after Len had left them when they were done fulfilling their use to him.

A personal apology followed the day after when Len, she noticed, had finally managed to tear himself away from Rin's side. They're in the clubroom that afternoon, with Teto and Neru at a corner, haphazardly pressing away with their phones and shouting some kind of game strategies at each other.

"SeeU, I'm really sorry." Len gave her an apologetic look." I'm so sorry. I'll make it up to you."

She busied herself with reading the book she had randomly found on the table, her eyes never meeting his." It's okay, Len. It's no big deal."

Len paused, as if considering his next choice of words." No, it's not okay. It's just-"

"Len, you don't have to explain yourself to me. I know how hectic everyone's schedules had been this week." She repressed a grimace long enough to give him a fake smile.

From the corner of her eyes, Len opened his mouth to reply only to get cut off when the door opened, Rin stepping into the room.

Len casted her another apologetic look before Rin dragged him away, out of the room.

"I got a question," Neru said. The multiplayer game with Teto had apparently ended.

Teto shot Neru a questioning look but SeeU didn't hesitate to reply," Go ahead."

"When does a martyr stop being a martyr?"

"What?" This time, it's SeeU who gave her a puzzled look.

"When she fails to save herself," Neru vaguely replied before going back to pressing away on her phone.

Teto chortled." Well, that's funny, Neru. Aren't all martyrs supposed to fail saving themselves?"

SeeU understood anyway.

SeeU moved across the cold earth with purposeful strides as she neared the wrought iron gate to the cemetery, a grim harbinger that towered over her, ominous and imposing as ever. Skirting around a pile of leaves that had turned orange and gold, a stark contrast against everything in that place, she followed the gravel path that weaved through the rows upon rows of gravestones and made a turn by an old gnarled tree, the bough twisting like contorted bones, roots protruding like slithering serpents and branches like wrinkled fingers reaching out to her.

Her gaze easily located the tombstones she'd been looking for, the names engraved on the headstones glint under the dim afternoon sun as if beckoning her to come closer. There are ivies that had crept over near the tombs, yellowish brown grasses that needed cutting choking the ground, overgrown and unkempt. The flowers placed against the gravestone had browned, depositing decaying petals on the ground, its edges curling and stiff, an image of something quite forlorn and lonely. As she placed her floral tribute, she made a mental note to come to clean the place better on her next visit.

"Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Kagamine," She said over the lump in her throat." I'm sorry I haven't visited as much lately. It's just me today. I wasn't able to drag your grandson along."

"He's doing well though," She added, forcing a smile." He got together with this girl he's always liked."

Len just sat there, staring ahead vacantly with his suspiciously dry eyes and his blistered fingertips from his bout of grief and anger spent thrashing his room. SeeU wondered if this what sad, worn and empty people look like before they completely succumbed to falling apart piece by piece with no chances of recovery. There's a certain hollowness to him, aching and screaming out to be breathed life into again.

She wanted to take that sad, broken, and tired boy into her arms and fold him against her chest, stroke the back of his head and make him feel that someone's still there for him. So she did.

"Grandma and Grandpa are gone," His voice cracked and there's a tremor in his words. The unspoken 'I'm all alone now' tugged at her heart." I don't want to go back there, SeeU. I can't-"

"You don't have to." She took his face in her hands, looking him in the eyes." You're not alone, Len. I'm still here and you don't have to go back there, alright?"

"But my family-"

"We could be each other's family," She blurted out, in a surge of emotions brewing inside her. Then she lightheartedly added," Until you find someone you actually want to start a family with. You don't have to be alone, Len."

an: SORRY