A lone keeper scuttled across the wreckage. Nearby, a small group of workers checked for salvageable materials in the ruins of a restaurant.

Garrus Vakarian watched this all from a distance and sighed. All in all, things could have been a lot worse.

The collateral damage was almost as bad as he remembered, but thankfully the number of civilian casualties were far lower than anticipated. There were rumors of C-Sec receiving an anonymous tip early before the attack, as well as reports of an old turian General seen directing bystanders to emergency exits and supervising evacuation efforts.

Thank the Spirits Oraka came through. . .

Garrus sighed softly. Even knowing what was going to happen beforehand didn't make all this easier. The Citadel had been his home for five years, ten if you count the previous timeline. Seeing the beautiful Presidium reduced to rubble did not help his mood, even if he did know that everything would be rebuilt in less than two years.

"It's something, isn't it?"

Garrus jumped slightly and turned to see Wrex standing right behind him. For someone who weighed several hundred kilograms, the old krogan could be really stealthy sometimes.

The ancient warrior surveyed the scene before them dispassionately. "Never thought I'd see the day the Citadel would remind me of home."

Garrus snorted slightly. "Figured you'd say that."

Wrex came to stand right next to him. "Shepard still at it with those pyjacks?"

The turian smirked slightly. Even a week after the battle Shepard was stuck giving debriefings, first to the Council and then to the Alliance. She'd been doing nothing for the past week except attending meetings and discussing details of her mission. Anderson's appointment as first human Councillor only served to increase her workload.

"Better her than us," Garrus said.

"True," Wrex agreed. "I'd shoot the idiots in the face if they asked me to read out a damn report to them for the tenth time."

"Is that how Krogan politics works?" Garrus teased.

"Nah, there's less talking involved. We just headbutt the opposition into accepting what we say," Wrex grunted. "But who knows. . . things might've changed since I was last there. I'll know when I go back."

Garrus blinked in surprise. "You're going back to Tuchanka?"

"Yeah. Figured it was about time, too."

Wrex leaned back and crossed his arms. "Shepard's right: the krogan aren't going to have much of a future if we don't start fighting for it. No one else is up for the job, may as well be me."

"I'm sure you'll do fine, Wrex," Garrus smiled.

"Hmph. I'd better," Wrex grunted. "Our little quarian's already run back to her people, talking about retaking her home-world. If she actually succeeds before the krogan do, I'll never hear the end of it."

Garrus chuckled slightly as he recalled Tali's excitement about returning to the Migrant Fleet. She'd left two days after the battle, babbling non-stop about getting the Geth data to her father. He prayed that she'd made it back safely.

"So yeah, I'll go back home and try to knock some sense into those pyjacks. Don't know how much good it'll do though. . ."

"You know," Garrus said. "Shepard once told me something interesting. Apparently, your name means 'king' in an old earth language. 'Krogan King' – that's what she called you."

Well, she had told him that in the old timeline, so it technically was true.

"My point is: Shepard believes, and I agree with her, that you have what it takes to do good by your people, Wrex." He turned around and flared his mandibles in a wide grin. "So, if you ask me, I think you'll be fine."

Wrex was silent for a long time. "Krogan King, huh?" he finally grunted. "I like the sound of that."

"What about you, turian? What are you going to do now?"

"I-I'm not sure."

It was true. For the first time since he came back, Garrus Vakarian had no idea of what to do next. He knew, of course, what was going to happen in a few months, and was trying his hardest not to think about it.

"Hmph," Wrex grumbled. "Let's hope we'll run into each other again, then."

"Er. . .yeah. Sure." Garrus sent a curious glance at the unusually talkative krogan.

"And when we do, maybe you'll tell me your big secret."

Garrus felt his heartbeat quicken. "What secret?"

"Don't lie to me, turian," Wrex turned his beady red eyes on him. "I haven't lived as long as I have by being a dumb pyjack. There's something different about you. I can smell it."

"It's in the way you move, the way you fight. . . . you've got too much experience for someone your age. Then there's the way you seem to have a plan for everything, almost as if you know it's going to happen." He shook his head. "Very little about you makes any sense."

Garrus fought hard to keep himself under control. "Wrex, I. . ."

"You are Shepard's krantt," Wrex interrupted him. "That makes you my krantt. Krantt does not keep secrets from each other, turian."

He glared at Garrus for a few more minutes, and then sighed.

"I'll let it pass, for now. But someday, you're gonna have to sit down and tell me everything."

Garrus exhaled softly. Sometimes he forgot how intelligent his old friend really was.

"Maybe I will," he said with a smile. "Someday."

Garrus panted as he raced across to the docking bay.

This couldn't be happening! It was much too soon! In the last timeline, this didn't happen until the next three months. So why in the world. . .

"Shepard!"

The Commander looked up and grinned. "Slow down, Garrus. Take a deep breath. We still got time."

"I. . . huff. . . got your message. . . huff. . . mission. . ."

"Yeah, I know. Can you believe those Council jerks? They're sending us out to find geth. Geth!?" She shook her head in exasperation.

"What about the Reapers?"

"Anderson says the Council's finding it hard to believe our story about the Reapers," Shepard grunted. "More like those idiots don't want to. So they're sending us out on this stupid mission to keep me and the Normandy out of the public eye."

She sighed softly. "After everything we did for those bastards, this is what we get. Typical politicians."

"Shepard, you're not seriously going ahead with this, are you?"

"Don't have much of a choice, do I?" Shepard laughed. "I might be the 'Savior of the Citadel', Garrus, but I'm still a soldier; I have to follow my orders."

"But Shepard," Garrus was struggling not to panic. How could he possibly convey his thoughts to her? "What about the Reapers?"

"Anderson and Hackett are working on it. They're saying that by the time I get back, they hope to have enough evidence to make their case to the Council," she rubbed the back of her neck slightly. "Let's hope they find something."

"But Shepard. . ."

"Relax Garrus, I'll only be gone a few months at most." She patted his armored shoulder. "You focus on your Spectre training. I want you back on the Normandy ASAP. Okay?"

"Shepard. . ."

She held up a hand to interrupt him. "Go on, Joker. . . . hmm, all set? All right, then." She turned back to Garrus. "Looks like it's time to get going."

In that moment there were a thousand things he wanted to say to her. He wanted to tell her the truth about himself, he wanted to tell her to keep away from the Amada system, he wanted to warn her about the Collectors. . . .

But nothing came out.

Shepard smiled and hugged him briefly. "Take care, Garrus. And make sure to message me everyday."

"Yeah." He smiled hesitantly.

He watched her walk into the docking tube and smile at him until the doors closed. He stayed and stared at the Normandy as they ran through all the pre-flight checks. He watched the Normandy disengage from the docking bay, watched it turn around and blast away into the galaxy. . .

Somewhere in that noise, the sound of his broken heart was lost.

"This is Emily Wong reporting for Citadel NewsNet. The attack on the Alliance flagship Normandy SR1 has just been confirmed. . . ."

". . . . . several crew-members were killed outright in the surprise attack, with the majority of the crew. . . "

". . . . . surviving crew members picked up by the Systems Alliance, which has promised a full investigation. . . ."

". . . . confirmed that Commander Jane Shepard, Hero of the Citadel was killed in action. The first human Spectre. . ."

In the darkness of an apartment a lone turian sat at his table, staring at a holo of a red-haired human female.

Turians did not cry. . . . not out of pride but because of the lack of tear ducts in their system.

They could, however, drink themselves to death; which was what Garrus Vakarian was currently attempting.

"I'm sorry, Shepard. I'm so sorry. . ."

He took another sip of the extremely potent dextro-alcohol, hoping it would help numb his pain a little. So far there was little progress.

After Shepard's departure, he had locked himself into his home and spent days justifying his decisions to himself.

He told himself that it was fine, Shepard would be back anyways; that she needed the implants that Cerberus would give her to fight Harbinger and his Collectors; that there was no way to completely prevent her death, since the Collectors could always assign an assassin to kill her if they couldn't attack the Normandy itself; that they needed the Normandy SR2 and EDI, which only Cerberus could provide them; that Shepard's death would give him two years. . . two whole years to put all kinds of plans into motion; that in order to get all of their friends together this had to be done. . .

It didn't make him feel any better, though.

Garrus knew that, logically, this was the best decision to make. As cruel as it might sound, the sacrifice of the Normandy SR1 would give them all kinds of advantages to use against the Reapers. This was war after all, and Shepard would understand the need to make hard decisions.

No, you're wrong. Shepard would never have done what you did. She would have found a way to save everyone. . .

He laughed sourly. That was so true! Shepard was, and would always be, a better leader and a much better person than him.

But he was not Shepard. He could never hope to be anything like her.

Omega had taught him that lesson well. . . .

So he did the only thing he could: he sent the woman he loved to her death. He stood back and watched as the ship he proudly served on was torn asunder, watched as the crew of the Normandy went through hell itself, watched as good men and women died fiery deaths all alone in the cold of the galaxy. . . . all to give them a fighting chance against the Reapers.

After all, what was the lives of twenty good men and women compared to the fate of the entire galaxy?

He laughed bitterly to himself. He was so pathetic!

Ruthless calculus. Once again the ruthless calculus of war cost him everything!

Garrus traced one single talon over the smiling face of his beloved Commander.

"May you never forgive me, Shepard," he said softly. "May you never forgive me, for I shall never forgive myself. . . ."

Liara heaved a sigh of relief as she looked around the kitchen.

Finally, she was done!

She took a seat at the table and poured herself a cup of coffee. While not a huge fan of beverages in general, Liara had come to greatly appreciate the wonder that was caffeine during her time on the Normandy. Strangely enough, the human crew themselves never seemed to like the coffee available on the ship. Something about how 'instant' was horrible and there was no espresso, whatever that was. She herself didn't care so much about the apparent lack of variety; decades spent at dig-sites had taught her to survive on whatever was available.

Thinking of the Normandy once again brought tears to her eyes. Poor Shepard. . . how could the goddess be so cruel?

Liara had nearly fainted in shock when she heard the report on the GNN. The very idea of the Normandy being destroyed, just. . . gone like that! It was unfathomable!

All those good people dead! Pressly, Caroline Grenado, the Draven sisters. . . . so many good men and women had died, their bodies not even recovered. A part of Liara was glad that, at the very least, Joker, Chakwas, Ashley and Kaidan had survived. The other part grieved for the loss of so many comrades with whom she'd shared such wonderful moments.

And Shepard. . . . Liara still couldn't believe that she was gone. Shepard had always seemed so. . . so invincible. She was like a force of nature, the kind of hero Liara had always believed existed only in stories. The very idea of her dying. . . let alone due to a surprise enemy attack seemed absolutely impossible!

Liara recalled standing with the rest of the crew at Shepard's funeral, staring at the casket being lowered with tears in her eyes, a distraught Tali sobbing uncontrollably on her shoulder. Kaidan and Ashley stood at attention with the rest of the marines, struggling to hold back tears. Wrex looked ready to kill somebody, and were it not for the presence of Admiral Hackett and Councilor Anderson cutting off the politicians from making their grandiose speeches, he might've succeeded.

Even then she had refused to believe that Shepard was truly gone. Liara was convinced, right up to the very end, that Shepard would just walk up to them all snapping off some witty one-liner, that infuriating smirk on her face.

But that had not happened.

Shepard's death had truly been the final straw for Liara. It had convinced her, beyond a shadow of doubt, that there truly was no justice in the galaxy.

After all, what sort of a galaxy did they live in where good people like Shepard and her mother met such horrible ends? What was the point in doing the right thing when all it got you was a cold grave in space?

So lost was she in her morbid thoughts that she did not even realize the absence of one of their own until Tali reminded her.

Garrus Vakarian was missing.

The turian's absence at the funeral had confused Liara. It was well-known aboard the Normandy that Shepard and Garrus had been great friends, and for someone as loyal as him to not turn up at her funeral seemed incredibly out of character. So both the girls set out to check on him at his apartment.

They had not been prepared for what they found there.

The entire place was a mess and reeked of alcohol. Garrus himself was found slumped over his desk with a bottle in one hand and a holo of Shepard in the other.

His breathing was extremely ragged.

Liara immediately sent Tali to fetch a doctor and levitated the turian to his bedroom. She returned with an acquaintance of Garrus, a human named Chloe Michel, who got to work on him immediately.

The diagnosis was shocking: extreme alcohol poisoning.

The doctor claimed it was a miracle that Garrus wasn't dead yet, given how much dextro-liquor he'd consumed. She immediately set about detoxing him, with Liara and Tali helping out as much as they could.

The next two days had been exhausting. Liara and Tali took shifts keeping watch over Garrus as he struggled through his recovery. His health was further complicated when he developed a high fever, and kept mumbling apologies in his sleep to Shepard.

Liara would never have believed it if she hadn't seen it with her own eyes. Garrus Vakarian was one of the strongest people she knew. To see him go to pieces like that. . .

It brought back to mind some of the other things she'd noticed on board the Normandy. Things she had not paid much attention to back then.

Working as an archaeologist for half a century had taught Liara to pay attention to the tiniest of details. She had a knack for noticing things that people missed.

She had observed Shepard and Garrus' interactions both during and after missions. The camaraderie they shared, it was very different to what the rest of them had had with her. Shepard had been many things to the Normandy's crew: superior, friend, confidant, mentor. . . but with Garrus there had always been something else, something more. Something Liara wished she'd had.

Liara had never really gotten over her feelings for Shepard. Jane Shepard would always hold a special place in her heart, because she was Liara's first true love. Not just some silly schoolgirl crush. . . the feelings Liara had for her had always been genuine.

But Shepard had politely turned down her advances, and Liara had understood. One could not force one's feelings upon others, after all. Besides, she consoled herself, there was always the chance that Shepard might change her mind later, and asari did live for very long.

That still didn't stop her from feeling jealous every time she watched Garrus and Shepard get together.

Something had been there. . . even if no one else saw it. Even if they themselves hadn't known it.

And Garrus' behavior just confirmed it.

Liara sighed as she took another sip. She had never been gladder for Tali's support. The young quarian had diligently helped her clean out the apartment, and only left yesterday after it was confirmed that Garrus had fully recovered.

Recovered physically that is. Mentally, he still wasn't the same.

So Liara busied herself cleaning out the kitchen. It had taken hours but. . .

"Liara?"

She jumped in her seat and whipped around. "Garrus! I didn't see you there."

The turian gave her a tired smile and sat down at the table. "Don't worry about it. And thanks for, you know. . . everything."

"Please don't mention it, Garrus. What are friends for?" She flashed him a brief smile and looked at him concernedly. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm. . . not fine, Liara. I'm not fine at all." He took a deep breath. "I've done. . . horrible things. I. . ."

"Garrus, please! Whatever it is, you can you can share it with me." She laid a gentle arm on his.

Garrus flicked his mandibles tiredly and patted her hand. "You're a good friend, Liara. Better than I deserve. Which is why. . . which is why I have to tell you. I have to tell you everything."

He exhaled loudly, looking strangely disoriented without his visor. "I thought I could do it on my own, Liara. I thought I was strong. I. . . I should never have done that. She was right, you know. I should've. . ."

"Garrus," she interrupted him gently. "You're not making much sense. Please, calm down."

He chuckled harshly. "What I'm about to tell you won't make much sense anyway." He shook his head. "Please listen to me first, Liara. After that you can do whatever you want. You can curse me, hit me, heck. . . attack me with your biotics; or walk away and never see my face again, it's up to you. Just. . . just listen to the whole story first, okay? Promise me that."

"Garrus, why would I. . ." Liara sighed at his determined expression. "All right. I swear in the name of the Goddess Athame I will listen to everything you have to say. Is that alright?"

Garrus nodded gratefully and leaned in closer, his blue eyes sharp and focused. "Tell me Liara, what do you know about time-travel?"

AN: And roll the credits. . .

That's it, people! The first installment of the series is done!

Now before you guys proceed to lynch me, allow me to say a few words.

Some of you will, no doubt, not be happy with the way it ended. Well allow me to say, dear readers, that there's a reason I chose to end the story this way. A reason which you'll understand, and even appreciate, once the sequel comes out. So keep calm and enjoy yourselves!

The second part of the series will be up shortly. I promise you it will be bigger and better. There will be more action, more laughter, more drama, more romance, and more of our beloved turian's strange outlook on the galaxy.

A big thank you to each and every one of my readers. This fic was the first story that I published on this site, and thanks to all of your support I have only grown as a writer.

Do remember to stay tuned, as the first chapter of the next installment will be up by the end of the month.

Now, if you'll excuse me *dodges a pitchfork thrust*, I should go.

*Flees for his life*