A/N: People keep asking if I'm dead. I usually take that as my cue to post something |D Been meaning to catch some stuff up on here for over a year so might as well get on it now... Wrote this one back in 2008 (holy crap, has it been that long? orz) so... yeah... weird re-reading old stuff since I've changed my perception of these guys a lot... Anyway, hope you guys enjoy :)

Disclaimer: Characters belong to Kishimoto Masashi. For now. When I get my fortune, I'll buy them all and re-write chapter 700 8D

Side note: I hate that you can't use the less-than on this stupid site. What's the deal?! So instead of being able to do a heart with less-than and a three, I'm gonna have to change the title and write out "less-than-three" or "heart" every time -.- annoying.

Rammy says: ilu 8D No matter your flaws :heart:

Sasuke Uchiha had always lived a pretty mediocre life. He couldn't necessarily complain, really. He had a nice house, loving parents, a non-existent older brother—except when said brother liked to piss him off. He got an allowance, did well in school, was popular. Pretty much your average high school student without a care in the world.

Looking at him, he seemed like he had everything a teenager would want, and he, himself, couldn't really complain. Except for the fact that his life was so insanely boring. And not only that, but he felt like his entire life was a routine. Like he'd never have anything more to do except go to school, eat, sleep, and repeat. That was his life.

He didn't want that. He wanted excitement, he wanted to have fun. He wanted friends, too. Contrary to popular belief, Sasuke Uchiha didn't have friends. He had people who hovered around him to look important. Being rich did that to a guy. Luckily for him and his brother, their parents didn't want their kids to be spoiled, so he never acted any better than anyone else. He did chores, just like everyone else. He had a curfew, just like everyone else. He earned his allowance, just like everyone else.

He was just lucky enough that his allowance was a year's pay for most of the other kids. That, and he had a very nice car.

But regardless, he was down to earth, though the other students treated him differently in order to get closer. The looks made the girls want him, and the money made the boys want to be him. And since they couldn't be him, they instead tried to be his friend.

But he knew better. Why would he want to be friends with a bunch of shallow, pathetic creatures who wasted oxygen just by existing? No, he didn't have friends. It didn't mean he didn't want any.

He supposed the closest thing he had to a friend was the paper boy, because he was usually coming up Sasuke's drive with the newspaper when Sasuke left for school. Kid was cheerful enough, but a little too obnoxious for the Uchiha's taste. That, and he was pretty sure the brunet was a few years younger than him. But he was nice enough. He filled the silence in the brief time they spent together—all of five minutes.

Sasuke supposed anyone could fill silence for five minutes if they really wanted to.

Another person he would almost kind of call a friend... well, no, not really. Someone who made him feel normal, he supposed, but not a friend. Naruto Uzumaki.

The guy did his best to avoid Sasuke, but whenever they ended up near one another, they immediately started fighting. The Uchiha would never tell him this, but he liked it. Everyone else was too afraid to go against the "all-mighty Uchiha" but not Naruto. It made him feel... normal.

But still, it wasn't enough. He wanted a friend who liked him for him, and not for his looks or his bank account.

It was with that in mind that he decided to log into a chatroom. He wasn't really one for internet relationships, but it wasn't like he was looking for a significant other. He was just looking for a friend, someone he could complain to, and who he, in turn, could listen to if the other needed to rant.

Biting his lip as he created a username, he logged into the first room he found on yahoo and was instantly bombarded with messages, merely for being a newcomer. The first one he read made his face harden before he closed it, not feeling the need to tell the person on the other end what he was wearing. The second window wasn't any more promising, the person inquiring whether or not he wanted to see his penis. Sasuke wasn't too interested in that.

A few of the other windows were people saying hi, but the conversations between him and those people slowly died off, and he began getting frustrated when he realized he didn't know how to hold a decent conversation. It was like he was socially inept, and that really bothered him.

Then, someone new logged into the chatroom, and everyone exploded. The penis-watching and what-are-you-wearing people left instantly, and everyone else who'd been talking to Sasuke were now talking on the main screen instead of private windows, everyone greeting the newcomer who was obviously around a lot.

**HHGurl has just kissed Rah-rah-ramen!**
**Foxy89 has just hugged Rah-rah-ramen!**
**GetOut has just jumped on Rah-rah-ramen!**

The list went on with people glomping, stroking, caressing, loving all over this Rah-rah-ramen guy. Sasuke snorted at the name, trying not to think about how jealous he was of the other person's attention. The name didn't suggest a gender, and the person hadn't spoken yet, so he didn't know what to expect. He just waited as more people greeted him.

Foxy89: Hey Rammy! Thanks for chasing out the perverts!
**Foxy89 has just caressed Rah-rah-ramen!**
Rah-rah-ramen: No problem, Fox. S'what I come around for. How's the night been?
Foxy89: Slow, actually. Not that many pervs.

Sasuke watched the conversation between Foxy and Ramen for a while, noting that he only partially responded to other people. He and Foxy spoke more often than he graced anyone else with a response. Sasuke clenched his fists, finding the guy—because he knew for sure, now, that it was a guy—to be conceited for not giving anyone else his time of day.

"Whatever." He snorted and went to close the chat and move to another room when a window popped up.

Rah-rah-ramen: Hey. a/s/l?

Sasuke blinked. What the fuck did that mean?! Nobody else had asked him that, and he looked back at the main window, where Ramen seemed to be continuing his conversation with Foxy as if he hadn't even asked Sasuke anything.

Rah-rah-ramen: I don't bite, I promise. I'm just kind of the room's admin, so to speak. I kick out the pervs.
Rah-rah-ramen: Not that you're a perv.
Rah-rah-ramen: Or... you could be, but I don't know that yet.
Rah-rah-ramen: ...
Rah-rah-ramen: Hello?

Taking a deep breath, Sasuke replied, feeling like a complete idiot as he did so.

RedEyes: I'm here. Sorry, I don't come to these places very much...
RedEyes: Or at all.
Rah-rah-ramen: Ah, I get it. You don't know what a/s/l means.

The Uchiha glared at his screen, not liking the fact that he couldn't tell whether or not the other was making fun of him. He suddenly remembered why he didn't like the internet. He couldn't know when he was being teased, when someone was truly mad or just playing, and so on. It was frustrating.

But luckily, this Ramen character seemed to understand this, because he continued.

Rah-rah-ramen: Don't worry about it, neither did I, at first.
Rah-rah-ramen: Not like there's a handbook for these things, heh.
Rah-rah-ramen: Age. Sex. Location. a/s/l. And by location, I mean, like... if you live in the US, just give your state, not your actual street name or anything :P
RedEyes: I know that!
Rah-rah-ramen: Just sayin'

Snorting, Sasuke debated whether or not to lie, but he figured the way he was interacting with the other, he'd probably be able to tell he was a teenager. And it was easy for him to establish that Ramen wasn't any older than 18, if that. So, he figured truth would work best.

RedEyes: 17/male/Ontario (That's in Canada).
Rah-rah-ramen: Haha, I know that! I'm from there too c:

Sasuke waited for the other to continue, but he didn't. Frowning, he wondered if he was waiting for a prompt. After all, so far, the raven hadn't really shown any interest, so maybe Ramen didn't want to push. Sighing, he raked one hand through his hair, trying to remind himself he was supposed to be social here.

"Fine, suck it up, Sasuke. It's not like you know the guy."

For some reason, it felt embarrassing to ask Ramen about himself.

RedEyes: Um... you?
Rah-rah-ramen: Me what?

Growling, the Uchiha hit the keys harder than usual.

RedEyes: a/s/l
Rah-rah-ramen: See? You're learning :D

Snorting, Sasuke shook his head. This guy was ridiculous.

Rah-rah-ramen: 17/m/Ontario, just like you, Reddy XD
RedEyes: XD?
Rah-rah-ramen: It's a face. Like, an emoticon face... type thing. Turn your head sideways and imagine the X as eyes and the D as an open mouth.

Feeling utterly ridiculous before he remembered no one was there to witness this, the raven turned his head sideways and could vaguely see what the other was talking about.

RedEyes: Ah, I see. Makes sense, I guess. Kind of.
Rah-rah-ramen: You don't come online much, do you? Lol
RedEyes: lol?
Rah-rah-ramen: ...
Rah-rah-ramen: Oh man...
RedEyes: Sorry. I'll stop bothering you.
Rah-rah-ramen: Naw, man, don't worry about it XD It's fine. Just... weird. I've never met anyone who doesn't know chatspeak. It's different.
Rah-rah-ramen: Lol means laugh out loud.

"Oh, I get it." He whispered to himself. "Easy ways of saying stuff. Hn. Didn't know chatting had its own speak..."

He retyped exactly what he'd just said to Ramen, and the other boy laughed... or, he said he did, anyway.

Rah-rah-ramen: Yeah, it takes some getting used to, but don't sweat it. It's easy to pick up.
Rah-rah-ramen: So, Reddy, what brings you out to our world of internet life?
RedEyes: Don't call me Reddy.
Rah-rah-ramen: Sorry, you never gave me a name to call you by :P
RedEyes: Neither did you.
Rah-rah-ramen: You never asked me for one.
RedEyes: Neither did you.
Rah-rah-ramen: You catch on quick, my young Padawan.
**Rah-rah-ramen has just patted RedEyes!**

Sasuke couldn't help snorting at the Star Wars reference, but he figured he'd beat the other to the punch first, asking him what he would like to be called.

Rah-rah-ramen: I have many names. Some call me God. Feel free to call me that.
RedEyes: No thanks -smirk-
Rah-rah-ramen: Then Rammy works. S'what most people call me.
RedEyes: All right. Rammy it is.
Rah-rah-ramen: And you, your highness? What would you like to be called?

Sasuke glanced around his room, wondering what he would want the other to call him. He had an unusual name, so he wasn't all that ready to give it away. If Rammy was a crazy fifty-year old pervert who preyed on young men, he didn't want to make himself easy to find.

A knock at his door made him almost jump out of his skin and he jerked around in his seat, feeling like he was doing something bad, even though he wasn't. His door opened and his older brother Itachi poked his head in.

"Hey Skate, mom and dad want you to take out the trash."

Sasuke glared. "No, mom and dad want you to take out the trash. You're just trying to pawn it off on me."

The older Uchiha stared at Sasuke for a long time, then sighed and grumbled at having gotten caught. He started to close the door, then opened it again. "Hey, don't forget it's your turn to make dinner tonight."

"Yeah, I know, I know!" He was getting impatient.

Itachi rolled his eyes but closed the door, his footsteps disappearing down the corridor. Sasuke didn't relax until he heard the other's door close. Turning back to his screen, he smiled slightly as he noticed Rammy had continued talking.

Rah-rah-ramen: Hey, I didn't insult you with the highness thing, did I?
Rah-rah-ramen: I tend not to think before I speak.
Rah-rah-ramen: Type...
Rah-rah-ramen: You know what I mean!
Rah-rah-ramen: Dude, come on, it was a joke.
Rah-rah-ramen: ...Reddy?
RedEyes: I told you not to call me that.
Rah-rah-ramen: Oh, so you're not ignoring me?
RedEyes: No, my brother came in. Sorry.
Rah-rah-ramen: I'm gonna have to teach you the short-cuts, dude.
RedEyes: Later. I have to go and make dinner. Will you be around?
Rah-rah-ramen: Weekend. I'm always around.
RedEyes: Okay. It was cool... sort of meeting you? Maybe we can catch up later.
Rah-rah-ramen: Later Reddy.
RedEyes: Don't call me Reddy!

Sasuke logged off before the other could say anything and sighed, standing up and heading out of his room so he could go start dinner. As he walked down the stairs, he thought about what name to give Rammy. Obviously, the other's name wasn't his real name, either. Unless he had really weird parents. But at least it was a name.

"What to make for dinner," he mumbled to himself as he opened the cabinets and pursed his lips, inspecting what he found inside. Sighing at their lack of food, he settled for spaghetti. He knew there was some left-over sauce in the freezer from the last time he made some, so he pulled it out and stuck it in the microwave to defrost. Boiling the noodles, and getting the table set, dinner was ready within half an hour.

Though the family always ate together, it was mostly just so that they could say they spent time together at home. None of them ever spoke to one another, except when his parents asked him and his brother about school or university courses. Both would answer and then dinner would be silent once more.

Setting his plate in the sink, he growled as Itachi ruffled his hair, dropping his plate on top of Sasuke's.

"Thanks for dinner, Skate. And people say you have no talents."

"Nobody says that!" Sasuke shouted after his brother, annoyed. He grumbled under his breath as he washed all the dishes, his parents thanking him for the meal before they disappeared towards their respective offices.

With everything washed and set in a rack to dry, Sasuke headed quickly back up to his computer, logging back in and still trying to think of what name he was going to tell Rammy. Just as the server connected, something clicked in his head.

Instantly, a message popped up for him. He noticed his name appear on the main screen as having recently logged in.

Rah-rah-ramen: Whoa...
Rah-rah-ramen: You actually came back.
Rah-rah-ramen: I'm touched. I don't know what to say ;P
RedEyes: Yeah, yeah, laugh it up, Chuckles.
Rah-rah-ramen: You got a name, Princess?

Sasuke's eyebrow twitched. "Princess? Does this guy get off on making my manhood shrivel up and die?"

RedEyes: Stop calling me hierarchy names. You can call me Skate.
Rah-rah-ramen: Skate, huh?
RedEyes: Something wrong with that, RAMMY?
Rah-rah-ramen: No. Just sayin'
Rah-rah-ramen: So tell me, Skate, what brings you to teh interweb?
RedEyes: Long story. And you'll laugh anyway.
Rah-rah-ramen: Yeah, probably. I'm not gonna lie, lol

Sasuke smiled. He liked this guy already, and he felt kind of special when he noticed that Rammy wasn't as active on the main screen as he was earlier. He didn't want to think it was because of him, but he couldn't see any other reason. After all, Rammy's answers were instantaneous. The second Sasuke hit enter, the other boy started typing.

Then again, he might be talking to other people in private windows, because Sasuke wasn't exactly the fastest typer in the world.

The raven and his new—acquaintance talked for hours that first night. About nothing and everything. It was refreshing. Sasuke told the truth, for the most part, and when things got a little too personal, Rammy would interject and tell him to tone it down. He was glad he'd met the other boy. After all, if his first ever internet friend was a stalker, he probably would have given out his address by now.

It was well past two in the morning when his door opened and his mother looked in at him sleepily.

"Sasuke? Honey, it's almost two-thirty. What are you still doing up?"

"Hanging out. Sort of." Again, Sasuke blocked the screen with his body as he turned in his chair, feeling like he was doing something he shouldn't be.

"Well, wrap it up, it's late." She closed the door. "Good night."

"Night."

Sighing, he turned back to the screen, rubbing the back of his head and starting to type again, feeling bad that he had to call it a night when Rammy was in the middle of telling him about his soccer team.

RedEyes: Hey, sorry Rammy, but I have to leave. My mom just came in to bitch me out for still being up.
Rah-rah-ramen: Ah, that's cool. I should header too, anyway. We live in the same time-zone, so it's late enough, eh? Then again, ARE we in the same time zone?
Rah-rah-ramen: Is it 2:37 for you?
RedEyes: Yup. Guess we live closer than we thought.
Rah-rah-ramen: That's kind of cool. Haven't met anyone this close yet since I started chatting with people. But yeah, we should header.

Sasuke bit his lip, his fingers hovering over the keys. "Just do it. If he's not, it's no big deal. If he is, maybe..." He didn't trust himself to finish that sentence, so he just started typing and hit enter before he could take it back.

RedEyes: You gonna be around tomorrow?
Rah-rah-ramen: Haha, was just gonna ask you the same thing. What I said earlier was the truth. I'm glued to my computer on the weekends. I'll be up probably at ten or so. Come on whenever, I'll be around.
RedEyes: Sure. Cool. Well, it was nice meeting you, I guess.
Rah-rah-ramen: You GUESS? Haha, thanks a lot, asshole. Nice meeting you too, I GUESS!

The raven couldn't help the chuckle that worked its way up his throat. He supposed he could see how his words could be taken badly, but it was clear Rammy was just amused. That was good. He really liked the guy. They seemed to have a lot in common.

Rah-rah-ramen: See you tomorrow, Skate. Have a good night.
**Rah-rah-ramen has logged out**

Sasuke followed suit, turning off his computer and leaning back in his chair. So Rammy lived close enough that they had the same time zone. If things worked out well, maybe... Maybe Sasuke would finally have someone he could hang out with during the weekends.

"Sasuke!"

Letting out a shout, the raven rolled over and fell out of bed, groaning as he clutched his head and looked up angrily towards his door. It was still closed, but that didn't make his glare any less vicious. Itachi loved testing his patience.

"Asshole!"

"Breakfast is ready! Stop acting like a princess. I was just coming to wake you up. You're welcome!" His footsteps disappeared down the corridor and Sasuke heard him descending the stairs.

Grunting, the raven stood up with a groan, rubbing his head as he walked to his door and pulled it open. He didn't bother changing, or putting on a shirt, because he figured his family shouldn't care if he went downstairs in his sweatpants. He walked around topless enough, anyway.

When he got to the table and started eating his pancakes, his mother was berating him for having stayed up so late, saying it was bad for his health, and imploring her husband to help her convince Sasuke not to do it again. Fugaku didn't seem all that interested as he read the paper.

"He's a teenager, honey. And two in the morning really isn't that late."

"Yeah, Itachi stays up until four," he argued.

"I write papers."

"You pretend to write papers."

The two brothers bantered playfully for the remainder of breakfast, setting their dishes in the sink and Sasuke walking away this time as Itachi went about cleaning them all. He entered his room and sighed as he fell back onto his bed, readying himself for another boring day of nothingness. He glanced at the time and sighed, sitting up and moving towards the door so he could shower when he paused.

There was a reason ten in the morning—though it was closer to eleven, by now—seemed familiar. His eyes snapped towards his computer when it clicked and he bolted for it, turning it off. It seemed to take forever for it to boot up, but once it did, he logged onto the Yahoo chatrooms, finding the right one and entering it.

People were chatting leisurely with one another and Sasuke was in the process of scanning the names on the side for his friend when a window popped up.

Rah-rah-ramen: Sleep in?
Redeyes: I'm really sorry, I didn't mean to.
Rah-rah-ramen: Whatever dude, it's not like we had a date, haha
Rah-rah-ramen: Honestly didn't think you'd come back again, though.
RedEyes: Why? Aren't you Mr. Popularity around here?
Rah-rah-ramen: Lmao, hardly!
Rah-rah-ramen: I'm just easy to get along with, but most people are fickle. They know I'm an admin, so they suck up. You're such a little baby with this that there's no way you're trying to get on my good side for advantages.
RedEyes: lmao? What's that mean? More of your so-called chatspeak, I take it?

Sasuke scowled as he saw the paragraph Rammy had typed in the space of time it took him to ask a simple question. He was going to have to practice typing. He'd never noticed he was slow while writing essays, but apparently... he was.

Rah-rah-ramen: Oh, sorry. Laughing my ass off. I should teach you the basic ones, at least.
Rah-rah-ramen: You know, just so you don't make a fool of yourself ;P
RedEyes: Gee, thanks -rolls eyes-
Rah-rah-ramen: Haha, you looooove me. Admit it. I'm sooooo much fun.
RedEyes: Sure, sure.
Rah-rah-ramen: Hmm, big ones. Brb=Be right back. Gtg=gotta go. Paw=parents are watching. Lol I told you. Lmao you know. Those are the big ones I can think of right now. Any others I'll be sure to let you know.
Rah-rah-ramen: Oh, and there's btw, imo, tmi, asap...
RedEyes: Did you really just write asap? Everyone knows what that means.
Rah-rah-ramen: I'm just sayin' dude :P btw=by the way. Imo=in my opinion. Tmi=too much information.
RedEyes: I think the ones I'll use the most are gtg and paw.
Rah-rah-ramen: Right, you live with your parents, eh? You said your mom bitched you out last night.
RedEyes: You don't live with your parents?
Rah-rah-ramen: Nah, they bailed on me when I was little. I live with this guy who took me in. He's pretty cool. Known him since I was four, so he's pretty much like my older brother. We have good times.

Sasuke suddenly felt guilty for complaining about his parents all the time, even if he just complained to himself. At least he had parents. Even if Rammy seemed non-challant in his answers about his parents, the raven was sure he couldn't be happy for getting ditched.

RedEyes: Sorry.
Rah-rah-ramen: Pfft, whatever, dude. I don't care. Honest.
Rah-rah-ramen: So... whatcha wearin?
**Rah-rah-ramen has just sent RedEyes a saucy smirk**

Not entirely sure whether or not Rammy was kidding, the Uchiha shifted uncomfortably in his chair, his fingers hovering over the keys.

Rah-rah-ramen: Dude, lighten up, I was kidding.
Rah-rah-ramen: Damn, those pervs yesterday musta given the rest of us a bad name.
RedEyes: I wasn't scared.
Rah-rah-ramen: Oh no? -grins-
RedEyes: What are YOU wearing?
Rah-rah-ramen: I asked first, jackass XD But boxers. Juuuuust boxers :P
Rah-rah-ramen: Sexy, right? Don't you want to ravish me?
RedEyes: Sure, sure.
Rah-rah-ramen: So, Skate, your turn :P
RedEyes: Sweatpants. I sleep in them.
Rah-rah-ramen: Yes, because I do my grocery shopping in my boxers -rolls eyes-
RedEyes: I don't know, maybe you do -smirk-
Rah-rah-ramen: Mind if I ask you something personal? You don't have to answer.
RedEyed: Sure, I guess...
Rah-rah-ramen: What do you look like?

The raven cocked an eyebrow, a slow smirk spreading on his face as he typed his reply.

RedEyes: What do you think I look like?
Rah-rah-ramen: Like an asshole XD
RedEyes: More specifically.
Rah-rah-ramen: Hmm, Iunno. Punk? Goth?
Rah-rah-ramen: ...
Rah-rah-ramen: Transvestite?

Sasuke laughed out loud at that, convulsing in his chair as he imagined himself trying to dress like a woman. He stopped abruptly as he realized he wouldn't look half-bad, and then immediately pouted.

RedEyes: No. None of the above. Guess I'm kinda a prep, sort of.
Rah-rah-ramen: Really? I shoulda guessed that... they all speak asshole to me -grins-
Rah-rah-ramen: I'm more punk, I guess... though realistically, I don't fall into any one category. I shapeshift as I see fit.
RedEyes: What are you expecting, a cookie? Round of applause? Blowjob?

Sasuke couldn't believe he'd typed that last one. His eyes widened and he hastily went about typing out an apology, only to find out he didn't need it. Apparently, Naruto was a pervert, too, just not in the creepy way as the guys from yesterday.

Rah-rah-ramen: HAHAHA, offering that up already, Skate?! Damn, I MUST be good XD
Rah-rah-ramen: Can I say all of the above? Or are we too early in our relationship for that?

Hesitating, Sasuke decided to test the waters.

RedEyes: Well... we might be too early for the cookies. I mean, asking me to bake for you... that's pretty intimate...
Rah-rah-ramen: You're right. No cookies.
Rah-rah-ramen: Round of applause for me, then, and a blowjob :D I'm down with that.
Rah-rah-ramen: ...
Rah-rah-ramen: I was kidding.
RedEyes: I know.
Rah-rah-ramen: Oh. You just didn't say anything.
RedEyes: Didn't know what to say.
Rah-rah-ramen: You could answer my initial question.
RedEyes: Right... guess I look... Kinda like a girl, actually. But basics, black hair, brown eyes, 5'10ish. Lean, muscled...
Rah-rah-ramen: Damn. You must be a heartbreaker, Skate c:

Smiling slightly, Sasuke shook his head. It was amazing how sincere that sounded, even over the internet. Like Rammy truly believed Sasuke was a heartbreaker. He was, but he didn't want to sound conceited, so he didn't say anything.

RedEyes: What about you? Bet you're all God-like with, what, blond hair, blue eyes and tanned skin? Muscled, toned, taller than me -glares-

Tapping his fingers as he waited for a reply, Sasuke frowned when it didn't come. He checked the time the last message was sent, and then the current time. Five minutes. Then seven. Almost ten.

RedEyes: You still there?
Rah-rah-ramen: Having a private freakout session.
RedEyes: Huh?
Rah-rah-ramen: How did you know?
RedEyes: Know what?
Rah-rah-ramen: What I looked like.

The Uchiha's head jerked back in shock. He'd been right? He was just guessing! He'd described a surfer moreso than a punk, first off, so how the fuck had he guessed right?

"Aw, great!" He threw his arms in the air. "Now the guy probably thinks I know where he lives or something and he's trying to find out where he slipped up!"

"Talking to yourself?"

Screaming embarrassingly loudly, Sasuke jerked around in his chair, Itachi chuckling in the doorway. The younger boy scowled at his brother, picking up a pen and hurling it across the room. Itachi didn't bother to duck; it missed him by a mile.

"No need for violence, Skate. Just checking up on your sanity."

"Fuck off!"

"Language!" He heard his mother call down the corridor.

Itachi laughed as he disappeared, Sasuke growling and launching himself at his door once it was closed. He locked it, and then kicked it, just for good measure. Turning back to his computer, he sat back down and saw Rammy hadn't said anything more.

RedEyes: Sorry, my brother came in.
Rah-rah-ramen: S'ok.
RedEyes: Are you... freaked out?
RedEyes: I just guessed, I swear.
RedEyes: I figured you called me a heartbreaker, so I went opposite.
RedEyes: In my opinion, blond-haired, blue-eyed guys are heartbreakers.

He got no answer. He waited close to ten minutes again, and still nothing.

RedEyes: Sorry... guess I'll go...
Rah-rah-ramen: No, don't worry.
Rah-rah-ramen: Sorry, just... Gimme a minute. Just asking Foxy something.
RedEyes: Oh... okay.

Sasuke knew it was stupid to be jealous, but he couldn't help it. Weren't they talking? Why did he suddenly divert to his other friend? It wasn't like Sasuke was watching him for real. It was a fluke! God, what the fuck was Rammy's problem, anyway? Like anyone would go out of their way to spy on him.

The raven snorted, finding that to be pretty damn conceited of the guy. Sure there were sexual predators out there, even Sasuke knew that, but really? Seventeen year old boy? Well, okay fine, the gay ones, maybe. After all, the Uchiha could understand that. His parents were already weeping their lack of grandchildren when Sasuke had gone the same direction as Itachi. He'd only had enough confidence telling his parents he was gay because Itachi hadn't gotten kicked out when he'd admitted it.

Rah-rah-ramen: Sorry. Yeah, you freaked me out with your accuracy, but Foxy says she thinks it's kind of obvious by how I act.
Rah-rah-ramen: I'm kind of a goofball, so people associate that with blond hair.
Rah-rah-ramen: Blue eyes just goes well with the hair, so people guess that first.
Rah-rah-ramen: Rest was a fluke?
RedEyes: There's no way I'm watching you, Rammy.
RedEyes: No offense.
Rah-rah-ramen: Haha, none taken. Didn't mean to freak out. I'm just super careful because... well, Foxy had an incident once. She told me about it, so I'm kinda careful.
Rah-rah-ramen: I know I'm a guy and all, but still, there are gay people out there!

Sasuke's jaw clenched unintentionally, unsure of how to take that comment. Was it meant as an insult, or just a passing comment, or what?

RedEyes: You got a problem with gay people?
Rah-rah-ramen: Eh? I didn't say that.
RedEyes: There's nothing wrong with being gay, you know!
Rah-rah-ramen: Uh, I know...
RedEyes: People don't choose these things!
Rah-rah-ramen: I know...
RedEyes: It just sort of happens and then...
RedEyes: Don't judge them like that!
Rah-rah-ramen: Judge them?
Rah-rah-ramen: HA!
**Rah-rah-ramen has just collapsed to the floor in a fit of violent laughter!**

Growling loudly, Sasuke fingers stabbed at the keys angrily as he started defending his orientation when Rammy, as usual, beat him to it with his speedier typing.

Rah-rah-ramen: Dude, I am the LAST person you need to be lecturing to. I've been gay since I was 12.

The raven's fingers froze.

Rah-rah-ramen: And based on your vehemence... you are, too. That, or you know someone who is.
Rah-rah-ramen: You don't have to tell me.

And now Sasuke felt like an ass. "Great." He slapped his thighs, annoyed. "Fantastic. I go off on a tirade to someone who's gay, too. Awesome."

He shook his head, burying his face in his hands. This whole friend thing was hard. And he and Rammy weren't even really friends yet! He let out a slow breath, trying to calm down. Looking back up, he re-read Rammy's last line and typed a three-letter word.

RedEyes: Yes.
Rah-rah-ramen: Yes what?
RedEyes: Yes, I'm gay.
Rah-rah-ramen: Well shit, lol! No wonder the blowjob came up XD
RedEyes: Yeah...
Rah-rah-ramen: Aw, come on. Stop being such a sour puss. Lighten up a little, man.
RedEyes: Hn
Rah-rah-ramen: Ugh, don't do that.
RedEyes: What?
Rah-rah-ramen: Hn
Rah-rah-ramen: A guy at school does that to me all the time as a dismissal. Drives me insane.
RedEyes: Sorry.
Rah-rah-ramen: Whatever XD No worries.
Rah-rah-ramen: Anyway, back to us pre-freakout, yes, I have blond hair and blue eyes. I'm 5'11, so just barely taller than you, and tanned, and muscled.
RedEyes: And toned? -smirk-
**Rah-rah-ramen has just batted his eyelashes at RedEyes!**
Rah-rah-ramen: Do I sound attractive? Would you date me?
RedEyes: I feel like admitting I'm gay was a bad idea.
Rah-rah-ramen: Nothing is ever a bad idea with me XD
Rah-rah-ramen: Fine, if it bothers you, I won't bring it up.
RedEyes: Doesn't bother. Just gonna make me wonder how far I can go -smirk-
Rah-rah-ramen: Oh, I guarantee I can take you on.
Rah-rah-ramen: But yeah, I feel bad kinda dumping that on you, so you can ask me something, and I swear I'll answer honestly :P

Tilting his head to the side slightly, the raven frowned. That had been kind of random, but he figured Rammy might feel bad for having flipped out. Not that he wasn't justified, even if Sasuke had been bitching him out in his head because of it.

Now he felt guilty. He was almost ready to tell Rammy not to worry about it, but he figured it'd be nice having the question. All he had to do was think of one to ask.

RedEyes: Can I save it for later?
Rah-rah-ramen: Mm, I guess. Not in a hurry, so why not :P
RedEyes: Hn
RedEyes: Shit, sorry.
Rah-rah-ramen: Whatever. Maybe having you do it constantly will make me hate my classmate less XD heh. You're more tolerable than him, anyway ;)
RedEyes:-snort- Maybe he's just not gay, and your gay vibes scare him.
Rah-rah-ramen: Maybe. Or maybe he's so madly in love with me, he has to be an ass to stop from jumping my bones -dramatic swoon-
RedEyes: lol, maybe.
Rah-rah-ramen: Awwww :3
RedEyes: Aw?
Rah-rah-ramen: My little newb is growing up -pinches your cheeks- You said lol.

Sasuke snorted out loud, shaking his head, but he didn't miss the fact that he was grinning. It felt nice having a friend. Maybe.

RedEyes: Can I ask you something?
Rah-rah-ramen: Are you using your question?
RedEyes: Uh, no. This is just a curiosity question.
Rah-rah-ramen: Mm, sure, shoot.
RedEyes: Are we friends?
Rah-rah-ramen: ...

The second he saw the other's reply, he felt like a fucking loser. He couldn't believe he'd asked that. Was he that socially inept?! Seriously?! Fuck. He wanted to take it back. Maybe he should just delete this account and start over and try and be friends with him again. Or something.

"Gah! Why did I ask him that?!" He rubbed his head wildly, his hair standing on end. "Fuck, that's so freakin' awkward! What the fuck can he respond to that with?!"

Rah-rah-ramen: I guess we are, yeah :P

Sasuke blinked. "Seriously?" He hadn't expected that as an answer. He'd been expecting something more fake, like "Sure" or "If you want us to be" or something. But that sounded pretty... damn genuine. Like they were kind of sort of friends, but still had some ways to go before the question wouldn't need to be asked.

RedEyes: Sorry.
Rah-rah-ramen: For what?
RedEyes: Being socially inept.
Rah-rah-ramen: Whatever, man. Don't even worry about it c:
Rah-rah-ramen: Socially inept or not, you're pretty cool to talk to. You're not like other people I've met.
RedEyes: Only cause I'm a... newb.
Rah-rah-ramen: You totally scrolled up to check for that word, didn't you?
RedEyes: Maybe.
Rah-rah-ramen: You're adorable, Skate.
RedEyes: I try. Unlike you.
Rah-rah-ramen: You're right, I'm just naturally adorable.
RedEyes: I meant you COULDN'T be adorable if you tried.
Rah-rah-ramen: You're right. I'm just sexy -grins-
RedEyes: Whatever makes you sleep at night.

He'd been enjoying his playful banter with Rammy so much that by the time someone knocked to call him for dinner, he hadn't even realized he hadn't eaten since breakfast. Talking to Rammy was so easy, mostly because they didn't really seem to talk about anything.

They teased each other, and asked random questions about nothing, but it was still fun. He hadn't even wanted to leave for dinner, and only agreed because Rammy said he'd go and make himself food, as well.

Inhaling his dinner, Sasuke was barely away from the computer for ten minutes, and ended up having to wait for Rammy to get back, rubbing his tongue uncomfortably against the roof of his mouth because he'd burned it in his hurry.

Rah-rah-ramen: You back yet?
RedEyes: Yup. A while ago. You're slow.
Rah-rah-ramen: Eating ramen cannot be rushed. It is an art. I have mastered it to perfection.
RedEyes: ...
RedEyes: That has to be the weirdest thing you've said to me so far.
Rah-rah-ramen: Does it outdo my comment about liking your penis?
RedEyes: ...
RedEyes: ...
RedEyes: Uh... when did you say that?
Rah-rah-ramen: Just now :P Freak you out yet?
RedEyes: Are you trying to scare me away? :(
Rah-rah-ramen: Haha, no!
Rah-rah-ramen: You just said you were a perv. I'm testing that theory :P

Sasuke wondered how much more of that theory could be tested before one of them freaked out the other. He hoped he wasn't the first to cave.

TBC...