Author's note: So this was inspired by episode 3x11, "Caroline and the Used Car Salesman". It should come as no surprise that I despise Julia (don't we all?), but she was particularly obnoxious in that episode, and I honestly feel like we never got to see her get burned properly, so this story was something I needed to get out of my system. I also wanted to explore this horrible arrogance Julia had towards Caroline, like she saw her as completely inferior or something. She was such an epic twat. She needed a serious reality check.

Pretty much just the usual angsty, smutty, fluffy stuff.

Caroline and the Affair

"Richard is having an affair, and…"

"And it's not with you."

These words from earlier in the evening still echoed in Caroline's head as she made her way back home from the car dealership where Richard had turned out to be working.

Annie was right. That was exactly what she had been thinking. She hadn't been upset by the idea of Richard having an affair; she'd been upset by the thought that it could have been with someone other than her. Was she really so in love with Richard that she'd be willing to sink that low? She'd really be willing to sleep with a married man?

She cringed as she realised that the answer was "yes". She would never admit to it, not out loud, but she knew, deep down, that she wanted it to happen. She wanted him. She'd never been so lost in her whole life, and she knew that it was hopeless, but god, she wanted him so much she could barely breathe. It was silly to even think about it, though, because of course he loved Julia, whereas she was nothing but a friend to him. He was never going to love her.

Caroline couldn't get over the gift he had bought for her. It was so sweet, and so thoughtful. He had always been so very thoughtful, and the snow globe had been more or less perfect. Of course, that Italian bitch from hell had come in and ruined everything by pretending to think that it was a present for her, even though it blatantly wasn't. The thought of that woman made Caroline sick to her stomach; she was so phony, so inconsiderate, that every time she looked at her all she could see was ugliness.

God, I hate how small and plain she makes me feel, with her perfect curves and her gorgeous skin and her general exotic appearance. I never stood a chance when every other woman he ever encountered was going to be compared to THAT.

There was no doubt in her mind that if Richard had heard the message she left for him on his machine, he would have laughed. Thankfully, he hadn't.

By the time she got back to her apartment, she was exhausted, so she ordered Chinese food, changed into her pyjamas, and sank down into her sofa. She closed her eyes, and her mind wandered back to Richard and that kiss they had shared under the mistletoe. It had been so wonderful, her stomach fluttered at the mere thought of it, and it had almost seemed like Richard enjoyed it as much as she did. She knew he hadn't, of course, but that wasn't going to stop her from pretending that he had.

She hated that she had become aware of how gorgeous he was. She hated herself for not realising it before, as if that would have made any difference whatsoever. She hated nature for the existence of women like Julia, who could probably get men to propose to her just by bending over, and she also hated herself for being jealous of someone like that.

She wanted, more than anything, for life to go back to normal. She wanted Richard to just be her assistant. She wanted to be able to laugh at his sarcasm without wanting to kiss him, and she wished she could be able to watch him work without having to fight back thoughts of what it would feel like to be in his arms, to feel his hands on her skin, his weight on top of her… oh god.

The worst part was that she occasionally found herself thinking that she just wanted him gone. She thought about how much easier it would have been if he had never walked through her door two and a half years ago, guilt tripping her into giving him a job. She wouldn't be here if it weren't for that, agonising over how much she wanted someone else's husband. It wasn't fair.

Then again, would she have been married to Del if it weren't for Richard? She shuddered at the very thought of it. She had come so close to making such a huge mistake, and she would be five minutes away from a divorce by now, surely. It was Richard's idea of sincere amore that had stopped her from actually going through with it. Well, that, and the fact that he had kissed her at Remo's, which she had mistakenly thought to be something more than what it had really been, which was apparently nothing because the next day he was gone. No note, no word of goodbye, he just up and left, like nothing else mattered; like she didn't matter. It had hurt her more than she'd cared to admit.

Dammit, why can't I just stop loving him so damn much?

After eating her food, she had fallen asleep on the couch, until a soft, but persistent, knocking awakened her. Sluggishly, she sat up, feeling slightly disoriented, and then she realised that there was someone outside her door.

"Alright, I'm coming," she muttered to herself, quickly taking the empty food cartons over to the kitchen where she dumped them in the trash.

When she opened the door, she thought for a second that she was dreaming. Richard was standing there, holding her snow globe, with a gentle smile on his face.

"Richard…" she whispered. "What are you doing here so late?"

"I'm here to give you this. I had to wait for Julia to fall asleep," he grimaced.

"Come in," she smiled, taking the snow globe out of his hands as he closed the door behind him.

"Won't Julia notice that it's gone, though?"

"I doubt it," he muttered.

She only pretended to think it was for her out of spite, after all.

Caroline eyed him curiously, but decided not to worry about it too much.

"Well… it's truly beautiful. I can't believe you went to all this trouble," she continued, her voice just a little bit unsteady as she tried not to choke up.

He shrugged, and looked down at his feet. He seemed uncomfortable, for some reason.

"Are you okay?" she asked tentatively, putting the snow globe down on the kitchen counter and turning back towards him.

He lifted his head, his eyes meeting hers. "I'm fine," he replied, but there was a flicker of something in his gaze that she couldn't put her finger on, something she had seen many times before but still couldn't identify. Whatever it meant, though, it was a look that always made her ache for him. If only she could figure out why…

A worried frown creased her brow. "You seem to be on edge about something," she continued, her voice as gentle as ever, and he closed his eyes for a second, trying to pull himself together.

Richard, you came to give her the snow globe. That's all.

But he knew that wasn't true. He came to see her. He'd wanted to see her.

He always wanted to see her.

"It's nothing," he said, attempting a smile.

He was lying, of course. He couldn't stop thinking about the kiss. He couldn't stop thinking about how much he wanted to kiss her again. If Julia hadn't arrived when she did, if it had been five or ten seconds later, he wasn't sure he would have been able to stop. And even though he kept telling himself that he loved Julia, that he wanted to be married to Julia, there was a significant part of him that just didn't care anymore. Julia wasn't who he remembered her to be. She wasn't passionate and exciting, she was inconsiderate and high-maintenance, and she wasn't intriguing, she was shallow. Empty. He was beginning to realise that he actually had no idea what he'd ever seen in her. But he had married her, and that meant something… didn't it?

Had he been blinded by Julia's appearance? She seemed to have that effect on men, and he had thought himself to be different, but maybe he wasn't? Maybe he was just as shallow as the rest of them. She was stunning, almost goddess-like, and it did bring him a certain amount of pleasure to walk down the road next to her, the envy of every other man. He'd never denied that, but he'd always thought that there was more to it. But maybe he'd been wrong. She was attractive, but she wasn't…

Caroline. She wasn't Caroline. That was the problem, the only problem, the one thing that had changed the way he saw her. Before, every woman he met was automatically compared to Julia, but now… now he compared Julia to Caroline, and she didn't measure up. She never would.

"I just wanted to make sure you were okay," he said quietly.

She smiled at him, and he couldn't believe he'd ever referred to her as "mousy". She was so beautiful.

"Are you sure you're okay, though?" she inquired.

He sighed heavily, knowing that he was going to have to lie again.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just a bit tired," he managed.

"You should get some rest," she suggested, and he nodded in response.

She walked over to the door with him, and leaned back against it, clearly intending to say goodbye. Instead, he leaned forward and kissed her. She'd been right there in front of him, trapped between himself and the door, and the next thing he knew he was kissing her as if his life depended on it.

When reality caught back up with him, he realised that she was actually kissing him back. She was returning the kiss, with the same intensity, and his heart soared as he pushed himself up against her. Their tongues intertwined, and she whimpered, and he officially lost all self-control when she wrapped her arms around his neck.

Caroline had stopped breathing, she was sure of it. She was never going to breathe properly again. The room was spinning, and she was falling apart, and she didn't know what was going on anymore. His hands ran down her sides, over her ribs down to her hips, and she shivered, and whimpered, and wrapped her arms tighter around his neck, pulling him closer. She needed him closer.

But unwanted thoughts of Julia eventually pushed their way into her head, and she pulled back, trembling violently against the door.

"What about Julia?" she choked.

Richard closed his eyes in frustration.

"Oh god, I don't even care," he breathed.

"But I care," Caroline protested.

He leaned in, resting his forehead against hers.

"Do you? Really?"

She contemplated this for a second.

"No," she whispered, and as soon as she'd said it, Richard's lips were on hers again, kissing her with an increased level of desperation. His fingers began inching their way under her t-shirt, and she moaned into his mouth as her hands ventured into his hair.

As his fingers continued to graze over her bare skin, Caroline's breathing became increasingly unsteady, until he finally brushed against her breasts, which caused her breath to hitch sharply.

She threw her head back against the door, feeling dizzier than ever, and she struggled to regain some control over herself.

"Richard," she whispered unsteadily, and out of nowhere that first sob escaped her mouth. She closed her eyes against the tears, causing a few of them to spill over and roll down her cheeks. Another quiet sob slipped out, and she covered her face with her hands. She was unravelling. She should have seen it coming from a mile away.

"Oh god, what's wrong?" he asked worriedly. Her shoulders were shaking gently, and she was sniffling, choking back sobs in what he could tell was a futile attempt to stop crying. He gently stroked his thumb over her fingers, which were now covering her eyes.

"Please talk to me," he continued. He couldn't think of anything worse than watching Caroline cry.

She removed her hands from her tearstained face, and he ached at the sight of her. She looked so small and fragile, and if he could he would make sure she never had any reason to cry, ever again.

"I'm so in love with you, Richard," she finally whispered. "And even though you could never love someone like me, I'm still going to let this happen. I want you to touch me. I need it." She paused, choking back yet another sob. "And I don't need to know why you're doing this now, because it doesn't matter, and tomorrow we can just go back to normal. Okay?"

He couldn't believe what he was hearing. It made no sense. She was saying things he'd dreamed of hearing a thousand times, but never in his wildest imagination ever thought he'd actually hear. But she was also saying things he never wanted to hear her say again.

"Go back to normal?" he whispered, shaking his head. "You need to understand something, Caroline. If we do this… there's no going back. Not for me."

She looked into his eyes with immense sorrow.

"You mean… you'd sleep with me and then leave your job? Or what?"

He framed her face gently with his hands.

"No," he said softly. "By sleeping with you, I would be giving into my deepest desires. I would be doing something I've dreamed of doing for over two years. So if we do this…" His voice faltered.

"What?" she whispered, so faintly it was barely audible.

"If we do this, I can't go back."

"Why not?"

"Because, Caroline… I love you."

"You do?" she whimpered, a sound so pained, so fragile, he had to fight harder than he'd ever done before to stay strong. He used his thumbs to wipe the tears off her cheeks, and gazed deep into her eyes.

"Of course I do," he murmured.

Another fit of sobs took over her body, and he pulled her into his arms, allowing her to cry on his shoulder.

"I thought…" she choked, the sound muffled into his shirt. "I didn't think you could possibly have feelings for me. I mean, next to Julia I look like a-"

"Shh," he whispered, interrupting her. "You're so much more beautiful than Julia."

She pulled back slightly to look at him, wiping her face as she eyed him sceptically.

"Now you're just lying," she muttered.

He couldn't help but chuckle. "No, I'm not. It's the truth. You're the most beautiful woman I've ever known, and I have loved you for so long I can't even remember what it feels like not to."

She sniffled, still looking at him incredulously. "But you married Julia."

Richard hung his head, that all too familiar anguish washing over him.

"Yeah. I think I was trying to escape my feelings for you." He sighed heavily. "Ridiculous, thinking that would actually be possible."

"Richard..." Her voice was almost inaudible. She really wanted him to touch her.

He seemed to somehow know what she was thinking, because he leaned in to cover her lips with his, kissing her lovingly; sending shivers down her spine.

"Take me upstairs," she breathed against his lips, and he kissed her again, before lifting her up, carrying her up the stairs to her room.

After putting her down on the bed, Richard had to stop for a moment to just look at her. He couldn't believe this was about to happen. His heart was racing, and so was his mind, thoughts spinning out of control as desire filled every inch of his body.

Descending onto her, he leaned in and whispered softly into her ear: "You're so unbelievably beautiful. You have no idea how much I want you."

She trembled against him, closing her eyes as she bit down on her lower lip. His hands moved to take off her t-shirt, inching it up slowly, just savouring the moment. Caroline shivered, and lifted herself up slightly so he could pull it off completely. He tossed it to the side, and his heart skipped a beat as he took in what was now right in front of him. With trembling hands, he pulled off her pyjama bottoms, leaving her in nothing but her panties. Her bottom lip was still firmly caught between her teeth, and her breathing was ragged, which was a sound he could have listened to forever.

He wanted to adore every inch of her body with his hands, run his fingers over her soft skin, inhale her scent… he wanted to taste her, feel her, breathe her. He wanted to love her for the rest of his life.

He captured her lips with his again, kissing her tenderly before breaking it off slowly, leaving her lips parted slightly as she ached for him to kiss her again. His parted lips hovered over hers, occasionally brushing against them in a way that was completely agonising in the sweetest possible way, and the sensation it was creating almost made her feel like she was intoxicated. He ran his fingers through her hair, and then continued tracing down her neck feather-lightly, making her shiver. She was completely under his spell. Finally, his lips covered hers once more. He kissed her soundly, and his tongue once again searched for hers until they were tangled up with each other. She'd never been kissed like this before; it was as if time and space had ceased to exist, like she had floated off to an entirely different dimension.

Kissing Caroline was like a dream. Her perfect lips against his felt more profound than anything he had ever experienced before in his life, and he loved her, desperately, intensely… completely. His tongue continued to swirl around hers, and she sighed audibly, which was like music to his ears. He brushed his fingers over her left breast, before cupping it gently, and she moaned softly into his mouth, a sound so beautiful he thought he might cry. He moved his lips to her neck, pressing them against her skin as he took a long, deep breath, the smell of her almost making him dizzy. As he lingered there for a second, he felt her hands on his shirt as she slowly began to unbutton it. When she reached the final two buttons she had to tug his shirt out of his jeans, and the feel of her hands so close to a part of him that was already painfully alert made him shake. He closed his eyes as he tried to steady himself; he wasn't done touching her yet, not even close.

Caroline began to fumble with his belt buckle, desperate to get his jeans off. She didn't want anything between them. He seemed to sense that she was struggling, because she suddenly felt his hands on top of hers, and she allowed him to loosen it himself. He sat up briefly, tearing the jeans off and throwing them away, doing the same thing with his unbuttoned shirt, and then he was back on top of her, making her tremble as his skin covered hers.

Richard's artistic hands swept over her body, touching her with so much love she felt like she was going to cry again. In fact, for all she knew she was already crying, because she was falling apart and she had no control over anything anymore. She felt his fingers brush along the curves of her body, from her waist to her hips, and then his hands ran softly up the inside of her thighs, making her whimper uncontrollably. She was so far gone that the only thing she was aware of was the sensation of Richard's touches; everything else had faded away.

The next thing she felt was a trail of kisses over her stomach, making its way up between her breasts until it reached her neck. He ran the tip of his tongue over one of her most sensitive spots, which of course he would locate just like that, and her breath hitched so harshly it caused her to gasp. The next thing that came out of her mouth was a sob.

Richard's hands were suddenly on her face; brushing away tears she didn't even know were there.

"I love you. Please don't cry," she heard him whisper, but of course that only made her sob even louder.

Then his lips were back on hers, and the beauty and tenderness of the moment made her ache for him so much she could barely breathe. She sobbed against his mouth, and he deepened the kiss, making her head spin, and god, she loved him so much she thought her heart would explode.

Releasing her lips slowly, he pulled back far enough to look into her eyes.

"Do you want me to stop?" he asked gently.

She shook her head. "Never," she managed in a whisper.

"Caroline…" He ran his finger lightly over her cheek, leaning closer. "You're the love of my life."

And just like that, Caroline lost it completely. Richard captured her lips in a heart-stopping kiss, and she closed her eyes, not caring that it caused more tears to roll down her face. Her whole body was trembling, her emotions torn to shreds, and she didn't know how much more of this she could take. She needed him inside of her; she needed them to become one, for him to take her away from all the pain she had felt loving him from a distance, and all the pain of her previously failed relationships. She knew, without a doubt, that he would never hurt her. No one had ever said those words to her before. Of course, plenty of other men had said, "I love you" in the past, and it had seemed significant at the time, but she knew now just how insignificant it had all been. She'd never really been loved until now.

Richard wanted to take away all of Caroline's pain. He wondered how long she had been hiding her feelings for him; had they been there before he married Julia? If so, he must have been a better actor than he thought he was, because he was sure he'd had "I love you, Caroline" written all over his forehead in capital letters. But if that had been the case, she wouldn't have felt the need to hide her feelings from him. It didn't seem to matter now, though, because he was kissing her, and touching her, and she seemed to have surrendered herself completely to him, like she trusted him with her heart and soul. He certainly trusted her with his, and he realised that he'd never trusted Julia with either of them.

He reluctantly released her lips, pausing for a second to feel her heavy breath against his mouth, and then he moved to explore her jawline and her neck, kissing her skin slowly, searching for her sensitive spots. He knew he had found one of them earlier from that wonderful reaction he'd received, but he wanted to find the others as well. He wanted to get to know every inch of her body. He wanted to make her feel more loved than she had ever felt before. He wanted to adore every single part of her, because every part of her was perfect. She was perfect.

"Richard…" she breathed. "I need…"

He flicked his tongue over her nipple, and her breath hitched harshly. His heart soared at the sound of it, and when he moved his attention to the other nipple she let out a strangled moan. There were no symphonies or operas in the world that could compare to the sound of her; it was so insanely beautiful.

He left trails of kisses down the insides of her arms, over her ribs and across her stomach, making mental notes of every shiver, every tremble, every whimper… he was so high on love, he just wanted to keep touching her forever.

"Oh god," she whimpered. They were the only words she could get out of her mouth at this point. Words were simply beyond her reach. No one had ever touched her like this before; no one had ever been this attentive, making her head spin and her thoughts disappear. She was gripping the sheets with her hands, desperate to hold onto some sense of control, but it was a battle she was ultimately going to lose.

Richard crawled back up to lock lips with her again, and he was painfully hard now, but she was so beautiful in this state, he wanted to savour every moment of it. It was amazing to behold, her emotions being so raw, and he couldn't quite believe that he could do this to her. As he kissed her, he ran his fingers over her skin, simply because he could; brushing against her breasts and across her ribs, now knowing that this was something that would make her moan. And she did, against his mouth, which sent shivers down his spine. He knew he wasn't going to last much longer.

His right hand travelled further down, until it brushed against her underwear. The fabric was already wet, and she gasped at his touch, breaking off the kiss as she arched her back, biting her lower lip hard. He pressed his face into her neck, and smiled against her skin, still marvelling at the fact that he could have this effect on her. His fingers continued to tease her gently through the thin fabric, and she whimpered, though it was a faint, almost inaudible sound. He kissed her neck, which was now covered in a thin layer of sweat, and she trembled. He sensed that she was about as close to her breaking point as he was.

"Do you want me to-"

"God, yes," she breathed, not even letting him finish the question.

He pressed another kiss against her sweaty skin, before turning his attention back to that final piece of clothing. He peeled it off, slowly, watching her squirm, biting her lip with her eyes squeezed shut, and it was almost too beautiful to look at. She was so beautiful…

Throwing her underwear to the floor, he quickly shed his own, and within seconds he was back on top of her, gazing down at her perfect face, and she opened her eyes just then, staring directly into his. Hers were warm, as always, with a beautiful edge of desire that made him crumble on the inside.

"I can't believe how beautiful you are," he whispered, his thumb tracing gently over her cheekbone. She smiled, her eyes shining with unshed tears, and he leaned in to place a gentle, loving kiss on her lips.

"I want you… so much," she breathed in response. He kissed her again, this time more fervently, and then he carefully inserted himself into her. Her breath hitched in her throat, and she wrapped her arms around him tightly in an effort to pull him closer. She arched into him, and he shuddered, the feeling of being inside of her almost too much. He had wanted her for so long.

He began a slow, sensual rhythm, and his breath against her neck was warm and wonderful, making her skin tingle. He was so gentle, so loving; it made her want to cry because of the sheer beauty of it all. He moved inside of her like he was afraid she might break, and she could have stayed like this forever; tangled up with him, as close as she could possibly be, consumed by his tenderness and overwhelming love.

"I love you," he whispered against her neck, and she let out a soft sob. Her feelings were so raw she couldn't contain them anymore.

"I love you too, like you have no idea," she choked, barely getting the words out.

"I want to make your world spin," he continued, still whispering.

"You already have," she whispered back.

She felt his breath against her ear, and then his voice, low and husky: "Are you sure about that?"

Multiple shivers ran down her spine, and she trembled uncontrollably, her eyes squeezed shut. Oh god.

He felt her reaction to his words, which made his own world spin, and he ached to move within her. The whole situation still seemed utterly surreal to him, like one of the many dreams he'd had about it, but the feeling of her, so tight around him, was too good to be something that was conjured up by his imagination. He didn't think his subconscious was capable of something as amazing as this. The only person who was capable of making him feel this way was Caroline.

He pushed himself deeper into her, and she moaned in satisfaction, a sound so wonderful he'd never get tired of hearing it. She arched into him, and now it was his turn to moan, and he buried his face into her neck, against her damp and shiny skin. She was perfect, every part of her so enchanting he felt truly spellbound.

He kissed her again, deeply and intensely, and she was grinding against him now, clearly needing the release as much as he did. Knowing it was time to make her spin, he gently rolled them over so that she was on top. He wanted to see if he could find her g-spot, and he wanted to see her face when he did.

She gazed down at him, and he locked eyes with her for a few seconds, gently wrapping his arms around her back, and then he slowly sat up with her, wanting to get her into the right position. She was still looking straight into his eyes, and he ran his fingers lightly through her short hair, leaning in until his lips were touching hers.

"I want you to just let go, okay?" he breathed against her. All Caroline could do was nod; words seemingly beyond reach. She was so high, and she knew she was going to crash so hard; every sense seemed heightened, making her lightheaded. Everything around her was blurring into nonexistence.

Covering her lips with his, he kissed her tenderly, pushing himself deeper into her once more. She gasped loudly, and he knew he was on the right track, so he continued to move his hips, rubbing against that same spot. She moaned, the sound strangled, and she bit her lower lip. Her eyes were closed. He wrapped his arms tighter around her, so her breasts were pressed against his chest, and she trembled, biting her lip even harder. Nuzzling into her neck, his mouth eventually moved to her ear; his breath against it sent noticeable shivers down her spine, and he nibbled at her earlobe before whispering huskily: "Tell me what you want."

She whimpered, and she didn't think she could form any coherent sentences, or even words, but that didn't really matter because she was about to scream, or cry, or something. She arched her back, and he raised his hips slightly, before leaning back down onto the mattress, thus accomplishing just the right angle.

"Oh god!" she cried. "Oh my god!" He buckled his hips again, and she was grinding against him now, creating a rhythm between them that was more incredible than anything she'd ever felt before. All her inhibitions just fell apart, and she was aware that the sounds coming out of her mouth were getting louder by the second, but she had no control over it anymore. With one final thrust, she came, the orgasm rippling through her body, reaching earth-shattering levels, as every single muscle in her body seemed to contract in unison.

The sight of Caroline falling apart in front of him was so amazing he wanted to cry. He'd never seen anything more beautiful in his whole life, and he didn't think he ever would.

"God, Caroline, you're perfect," he breathed, and something that sounded suspiciously like a sob escaped her mouth. A few seconds later, she sank back down onto him, and he immediately felt her lips against his skin as she placed kisses into his neck. He shivered.

"The world is spinning," she eventually whispered. "I wish I could make your world spin, too."

He rolled over so he was on top of her again. "You make my world spin every time I see you smile," he murmured, and she giggled softly, one of the sweetest sounds he could ever imagine. But he couldn't deny his need for some sort of release, as he was still so very hard. She arched into him, encouraging him to move within her, and he once again began a slow, steady rhythm, breathing heavily against her neck. She moaned softly, and he was overwhelmed by his love for her.

Caroline could feel herself being pushed towards the edge again, and she wrapped her legs around him to pull him closer. He was whispering words of love against her ear, sending sweet tingles through her body, and when she rocked her hips against his, it caused a string of moans and random syllables that were slightly muffled against her neck. Their rhythm was getting more and more intense, and he was running the tip of his tongue over a particularly sensitive area of her neck, making her tremble underneath him. Her skin was covered in sweat, and what he was doing with his tongue made her feel like he was setting her on fire in the best possible way. He continued to move deep within her, and she let out a strangled, high-pitched sound. She could feel him tremble and shake as his orgasm was building up inside of her. He moaned against her neck again, and she gasped, her heart racing so fast she feared it was going to burst out of her chest.

"I love you," he breathed. "God, I love you."

"I love you more," she whimpered, and he kissed her neck.

"Impossible," he whispered, and with one final push he sent her flying for the second time that night. She screamed his name, and his heart soared; he knew, then and there, that he wanted to hear that again, and again, for the rest of his life. She contracted around him, hard, and then he came as well, shuddering, almost violently, as waves of pleasure took over his body. He'd never had an orgasm like this before, and it was mind-blowing, completely and utterly amazing. It was by far the most intense sexual experience of his life, largely because it was filled with so much love. He loved her more than he'd ever thought possible.

He listened, mesmerised, as her ragged breathing gradually slowed down. Her eyes were still closed, and he leaned in to place a gentle kiss on her lips, lingering there for a few seconds as he enjoyed the extraordinary connection between them in that moment. When he reluctantly released her lips, she opened her eyes, warmth radiating from them in such a way that it reached the very depths of his soul. Captivated by her gaze, he briefly wondered if he'd ever be able to look away.

She smiled at him affectionately, and he couldn't help but smile back; he'd never felt so happy in his entire life.

"You're so gorgeous," he murmured.

"What do you mean?" she laughed. "I'm a sweaty mess."

He chuckled softly. "Exactly," he said, running his finger over her cheek, keeping his eyes firmly locked with hers.

Eventually, he untangled himself from her and rolled over to the side, pulling her into his arms. She rested her head against his chest, and he gently stroked her back, absentmindedly starting to run his fingers in lazy patterns, causing her to emit a soft sigh. Enjoying the silence and each other, they stayed like that for a few minutes, but then Richard felt a sniffle against his chest, followed by an almost inaudible sob.

"Caroline?" he said tentatively.

"Sorry," she whispered.

"What's wrong?" he continued, his heart aching at the sound of her crying.

"Nothing… or everything? I don't know," she choked.

He inched his way up into a sitting position, pulling her with him until her head was resting on his shoulder, her face buried into his neck.

"Talk to me, Caroline."

She pulled back to look at him. "I just…" she croaked. "I'm so painfully in love with you, and I… I don't know what's going to happen now."

He shook his head, closing his eyes, the sight of her so heart breaking he couldn't stand it.

"Am I…" she began, trailing off. He opened his eyes again, looking at her questioningly.

"Am I really the love of your life?" she finally asked.

"Of course you are," he replied softly.

A tear slipped down her cheek.

"How can you be so sure about that?"

He smiled, almost sadly, placing his hand under her chin to tilt her head upwards.

"Because no matter what I do, or where I run, the only thing that remains the same is that I don't want to live without you." He sighed. "I can't live without you."

She buried her face into his neck again, her shoulders gently shaking as she sobbed quietly. He wrapped his arms around her small body, suddenly feeling helpless.

"Do you regret what just happened between us?" she asked, her voice a mere whisper.

"How could you possibly think that?" His voice sounded pained, and she looked back up, her eyes meeting his.

"I don't know. You're married," she said, still whispering.

He shook his head again. "Caroline…" he sighed. "I'm impossibly in love with you. My marriage means nothing, and I don't think it ever did. If I stayed married, I would be living a lie, and I can't do that. I can't pretend not to love you. Not anymore."

She whimpered against him, and he knew that he would have to get a divorce. The feeling of this woman, crying in his arms, was enough to convince him that she was the one thing that truly mattered to him. He wanted to protect her from pain, from heartache, from everything, no matter what. He was lost without her, and he would never stop loving her. Never.

"I'm leaving Julia."

She tilted her head up to look at him.

"Really?" she croaked. She seemed surprised.

"I want to be with you," he said softly, running his hand over her cheek.

She stared at him with her impossibly beautiful eyes.

"Will you stay with me tonight? At least for a while?" She sounded so fragile it almost pained him.

"I'm not leaving you," he murmured, wrapping his arms back around her, and she leaned into him again.

"Promise?" she whispered.

"I promise."

Caroline kept waking up; never quite managing to fall asleep before stirring again, but every time she did, Richard was still there. He was still right next to her, sleeping peacefully, and every single time she breathed a sigh of relief. She thought about how she'd told him she would be fine with them going back to normal the next day, and she had no idea what she'd been thinking. She'd just been so desperate for him to show her even the slightest amount of affection, she wasn't thinking clearly, and the fact that she felt this way actually kind of scared her. She was head over heels, ridiculously, stupidly in love with this man, and now she was terrified of losing him. What if he changed his mind? She didn't think she'd be strong enough to handle that, not after what had just happened between them. It pained her just to think about it. The security she had felt when she'd been wrapped up in his arms seemed to have just drained from her body.

She managed to fall into a restless slumber again, and the next time she woke up it was 4:15am. She snuggled back into him, needing to feel his warmth for comfort, and she rested her head gently against his chest, her arm draped over his waist. The steady rise and fall of his chest had a soothing effect on her, and her eyes drifted shut as she once again surrendered to the tiredness she was feeling. She was emotionally and physically drained.

She fell asleep, dreaming of words whispered in her ear, fingers running over her bare skin, and the cold, hard reality, brutally crashing down on her in the unforgiving light of day.

Richard stirred, and opened his eyes slowly. Feeling slightly disoriented at first, he turned his head to look over at the other side of the bed, and the second his eyes fell on Caroline's sleeping form he felt a rush of love so intense it threatened to overwhelm him completely. The way the faint morning light fell on her face made his heart skip a beat or two; she looked so peaceful, and he knew with absolute certainty that he wanted to wake up to this every morning from now on.

Sitting up and leaning back against the headboard, he took a minute to rewind last night's turn of events. The mere thought of it made him feel lightheaded, and he closed his eyes as he remembered her skin against his, that feeling of being connected to another person emotionally as well as physically; the sex had been amazing, but what truly blew his mind was how his intense love for her had coloured the experience. He'd never had sex like that before. With Julia, it was just that: sex. But with Caroline… it ran so much deeper than that. He felt like he had just made love to a woman for the first time in his life.

The fact that his marriage was such a failure was a bitter pill to swallow, but he couldn't help feeling like it should have bothered him more. But it didn't, because it was overpowered by the fact that he was finally getting what he had wanted for almost two and a half years. He'd spent so much time longing for her, truly pining, which he didn't think he'd ever done before, and now that he had her, everything else seemed… insignificant?

He glanced over at the digital clock on her bedside table, which read 7:50. He briefly wondered if Julia had noticed that he was gone, but it didn't matter. It was over anyway, after all. It wasn't fair to Julia, either, to keep pretending that he loved her when he didn't, because he never could. It was like he had said last night: he could run, but he could not hide from his love for Caroline. He'd tried more times than he could count, but it was impossible.

He was still lost in his own little bubble of thoughts when he felt her shift next to him. He looked over to find her staring at him, and without even thinking about it he smiled at her. He could see her eyes softening at that, and her lips curved into a sweet smile in return. A warm, fuzzy feeling spread throughout his body; it felt completely foreign to him, but in a pleasant way. Is this what real happiness feels like?

"Hey you," she murmured softly. There was something tentative in her expression.

"Hey," he said in a near-whisper.

"You're still here."

She sounded so insecure it almost broke his heart.

"Of course I'm still here."

"I've been drifting in and out of sleep all night," she continued. "I kept having dreams of you leaving, telling me you'd made a mistake."

She inched up into a sitting position in order to be on the same level as him, and the look in her eyes was painful.

"I'm so scared, Richard."

"Don't be scared," he whispered. "I will never leave."

"How can you be so sure about that?"

"Because, Caroline… I've already loved you for almost two and a half years, and this whole time I've just been your assistant. How could I ever leave you now, after learning what it feels like to hold you in my arms?"

A tear rolled down Caroline's cheek, and she quickly swiped it away with her hand.

"You might get sick of me, you know," she muttered, and her voice had a slight quiver in it that he assumed she was trying to disguise.

"Caroline," he began, and he couldn't help but chuckle, despite trying his best not to, "if I was going to get sick of you, I would have already."

A small smile formed on her lips, and he could tell that he was getting through to her.

"I know it probably seems like I find you annoying," he continued. "And sometimes I really do," he smirked, and she giggled softly, "but most of the time I find you genuinely amusing. I give off an air of annoyance, partly out of habit, but mainly as a cover. I couldn't let you see how I really felt about you."

"Because of Julia?"

He sighed. "Because of Del, and that pubescent veterinarian…"

Caroline chuckled, swatting his shoulder playfully.

"And the fact that I think you're completely out of my league," he added.

She sniffled. "Don't say that."

"It's just the truth."

She shook her head, raising her eyebrows. "You know that makes no sense, don't you?"

"What do you mean?"

"Oh, come on, Richard. Look who you're married to! There isn't a straight man on this planet that doesn't envy you. In fact, they'd all want to beat some sense into you right now." She smirked despite herself.

"Yeah, well… I was jealous of Del, and vet boy."

"That's kind of sweet, actually," she chuckled. "I never thought anyone would ever be jealous over me like that. I'm just sort of ordinary."

He shook his head. "You're not ordinary; not at all. Maybe you wouldn't stand out in a crowd, I don't know, but once someone gets closer to you they'll realise pretty quickly that you're actually extraordinary. That's the beauty of you."

Caroline laughed. "Thanks," she said, half-jokingly.

He smiled, shaking his head again. "God, Caroline… When I first saw you, I thought, 'Oh, great, here's another one of those empty-headed, phony people,' because I was a cynical bastard. I mean, I still am," he said with a smirk. "But, as it turns out, you're neither of those things. You're a complex, intelligent woman, and you're completely genuine."

She was just sitting there with a huge grin on her face, and he got the feeling that she was highly amused by what he was saying.

"This isn't coming out right, is it?"

She giggled. "No, it's fine. Everything you've said is basically polite talk for, "we can't all be pretty, honey"."

He threw his hands up in defeat.

"What am I going to do with you? You're impossible!" he exclaimed, but the expression on her face made him laugh.

"It's okay, Richard," she teased, putting her head on his shoulder. "I don't care about being one of those extremely gorgeous women."

"But you are," he said quietly. "I've always thought that. You just don't make a big deal out of it. And you don't need to."

He didn't have to see her face to know that she was crying again. He could feel and hear her faint sniffles against his shoulder.

"I found you attractive straight away, because my god, Caroline, you're stunning, but then I got to know you… and what you are, more than anything else, is beautiful. If I had to describe you with just one word, that's the word I would use."

"You always know what to say, don't you?" she choked. "I'm not sure if I want to call you out on your bullshit, or just kiss you."

He looked down to see her smirk through her tears.

"Why don't I make that choice easy for you: it's not bullshit."

She bit her bottom lip, and then a smile crept onto her features. She moved over until she was sitting on his lap, and captured his lips with hers, putting her arms around his neck. The kiss was gentle, and loving, and his arms wrapped around her waist as he pulled her into an affectionate embrace. For a while they remained like that, consumed by each other, but eventually Caroline pulled away.

"I'll go shower first, and then I'll go downstairs and get things started while you shower, okay?"

"Sounds good," he whispered, so enchanted by her that he probably would have agreed to pretty much anything.

She came back out of the bathroom twenty minutes later, wrapped in a towel and with a toothbrush sticking out of her mouth.

"You don't happen to have a spare one of those, do you?"

"Sure," she replied, her mouth full of toothpaste, and Richard had to smile at how adorable she looked just then.

"I'll get it for you," she continued, as she walked back in there to spit and rinse. He walked after her, wrapping his arms around her waist as she stood in front of the sink.

"I just want to be near you, all the time. Is that normal?"

She chuckled loudly. "Probably not," she quipped.

"Normal is hugely overrated," he murmured into her neck, and she giggled softly as she reached for the cupboard, where the spare toothbrush was.

"Here," she said, holding it out for him.

"Thanks," he replied as he took it out of her hand, thus releasing her from his grip.

"I'll go get dressed. You take your time," she smirked.

Caroline threw on a skirt and a blouse, and headed downstairs. She put some coffee on, and hummed softly to herself as she poured some cereal into a bowl. Just then, Annie walked through the door.

"Hey Caroline, what's up?"

"Good morning, Annie!" she trilled.

"Wow, someone's in a good mood," her best friend teased.

"I guess it's just one of those days," Caroline grinned.

"Yeah, just one of those days…" Annie rolled her eyes briefly, before moving on to more important things, like coffee.

She was about to ask Annie about her plans for the day when the phone rang.

"Hello?" Caroline answered.

"Is Reechard there?" Oh crap. Julia.

"What do you mean, "is he here"?"

Annie's brow furrowed, and Caroline made a slight grimace in return. Annie suppressed a chuckle.

"I mean: has he showed up for work yet?"

Caroline glanced briefly in Annie's direction.

"No, he's not due for another fifteen minutes. Why?"

There was silence on the other end of the line, and she briefly wondered if Julia had hung up.

"He didn't come home last night," she finally replied.

"Gosh, I'm sorry, Julia. I wish I could tell you where he is, but I guess I'll just tell him to call you when he gets here?"

She looked over at Annie again, and her friend arched her eyebrow, clearly dying to know what the conversation was about.

"That would be great, thank you."

"No problem."

She hung up, hardly able to believe how calm she had just been. Richard was upstairs having a shower, after spending the night in her bed, and those lies had just rolled off her tongue like it was a habit or something. She knew she should feel bad, but she just found it funny.

"What was that about?" Annie asked, impatiently.

Caroline grinned widely. "Seems like Richard didn't come home last night."

"What?" Annie practically screamed, before covering her mouth in shock. "I wonder where he's been," she continued, almost whispering now.

Caroline just smiled. "I don't."

"But Caroline… that means he is having an affair," Annie stressed.

"I know," Caroline smirked.

"Wait a minute…" Annie's eyes narrowed, and she leaned forward. "You?"

She nodded. "Last night. He's still upstairs."

"Get out!" Annie hissed. "Details, please."

"I'll tell you everything over lunch, I promise, but I will say this: the world was spinning."

Annie grinned. "I want to rub that bitch's face in this so bad."

Caroline laughed, and then crossed her arms to imitate Julia. "With you? Don't be silly," she said in a mock-Italian accent.

"Of course not," Annie joined in, smiling wryly. "God, she's so arrogant. She clearly had no idea who she was talking to!"

"Wait, what?" Caroline asked, furrowing her brow.

Annie winced. "Oh yeah, I forgot. You don't know, do you?"

"What don't I know?"

"Lunch?" was Annie's simple response.

"Oh yeah," Caroline confirmed. "I'm not the only one who's talking!"

Annie sipped her coffee, and Caroline walked over to the fridge to look for milk, but they both paused as Richard walked down the stairs. Annie grinned widely at him.

"Hey, Richie! Your wife just called."

"Very funny," he replied dryly. "Who let her in?" he continued, looking over at Caroline who was just standing by the fridge with a smirk on her face.

"Oh, her? She lives here," Caroline shrugged nonchalantly. "And she really did call."

His eyes widened. "What? Why would she call you? What did you say to her?"

She walked over to him, putting her hands on his chest.

"Relax, Richard. She asked if you'd shown up for work yet, and I told her I didn't expect you for another fifteen minutes." Her hands moved to his face as she raised herself up to kiss him lightly on the lips.

She felt him go rigid, and she immediately knew why.

"It's okay, Annie knows."

"Oh, well in that case…" He threw a brief smirk in Annie's direction, before pulling her closer to kiss her properly, wrapping his arms around her waist.

"Oh Richie, you suck!" Annie declared with an edge of disgust to her voice.

Richard gently released Caroline's lips, and turned his attention back to Annie.

"Isn't that what you usually do for lunch?" he quipped.

Annie just scowled at him, before taking her coffee mug and walking towards the door.

"So I'll see you at lunch, then?" Caroline called, winking as Annie turned around, causing the other woman to laugh loudly.

"Yeah you will," she said seductively, before closing the door behind her.

"And the level of skank in the air just dropped to zero," Richard said dryly.

Caroline shot him a disapproving look. "I don't think we should be judging others right now," she said, and she tried not to smile but was unsuccessful.

He pulled her closer again, and covered her lips with his, kissing her soundly. When he pulled back, he gazed into her eyes in a way that made her knees go weak.

"I have loved you for nearly two and a half years," he said softly. "I won't apologise to anyone."

"Good," she whispered.

He reluctantly released her from his arms, and moved to pour himself some coffee.

"By the way," Caroline said casually, "I told her you'd call when you got here."

"You didn't!" he sputtered. "What am I supposed to say?"

"I have no idea," Caroline shrugged. "But you have to tell her something, don't you?"

"I know," he sighed. "It just feels so much harder when you're actually faced with it."

Her face fell, and he instantly knew what she was thinking.

"Oh, Caroline, I'm still doing it," he reassured her. "I just need to figure out how."

She smiled weakly. "I know."

"Should I call her now?" he asked.

"It's not such a bad idea," she said, handing him the phone.

As she watched him dial the number, her heart felt like it was beating out of her chest. She suddenly felt really bad.

Caroline, you hate this woman. Get it together.

"Hi Julia, it's me."

She bit her lip, and Richard gave her a reassuring smile.

"Yeah, I know. I should have come home. I just had a lot of thinking to do, so I went for a really long walk."

Caroline suppressed a laugh, covering her mouth with both hands.

"Yeah, of course. I'll come home after work. Okay, I'll see you then. Bye."

He hung up, and put the phone down. "Oh god," he sighed, squeezing his eyes shut. He only opened them again when he felt Caroline's hand on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

His brow furrowed. "For what?"

"I don't know… I just feel bad that you have to go through this."

"Caroline," he began, gently framing her face with his hands. "Don't feel bad. I've never been this happy in my entire life. Whatever I have to go through with Julia, it will be worth it if it means I get to be with you."

Her eyes went blank with unshed tears.

"I love you," she quivered.

He pulled her into his arms, and she buried her face into his shirt.

"I love you, too," he whispered.

They sat down to do some work before lunch, as Caroline had a deadline for a batch of cards. She could barely focus, though, with Richard sitting just across from her on the other side of the desk. It didn't help that she constantly caught him looking at her. What really got to her was how much he was smiling; he had smiled more in two hours than he had in two years, which was distracting, because he had such a lovely smile. And his eyes…

"Will you stop looking at me like that?" she muttered under her breath, not even looking up from her work.

"Like what?" he asked casually.

She raised her head to meet his gaze. "Like you've seen me naked," she smirked.

"It's not exactly something I can un-see," he replied, smiling again for the hundredth time that day.

"Can't you try?" she giggled.

"Fine," he said, raising his eyebrows for a second, before turning his attention back to what he'd been working on.

"Thank you."

They worked in silence for a couple of minutes, but the next time she looked up he was staring at her again.

"What?" she asked in mock-exasperation.

"It didn't work," he smirked, and she grinned in return, blushing slightly as she tried to get her focus back on track.

The next hour seemed to go by about as quickly as a snail, but eventually it was time for lunch, and Annie poked her head through the door.

"Hey Caroline, you ready to go?"

"Give me a minute," she replied.

After putting her coat and shoes on, she grabbed her purse and walked with Annie to Remo's.

"So?" Annie asked as soon as they had sat down.

Caroline laughed. "So… he came over last night, bringing me that snow globe he had tried to give me at the car dealership before Julia showed up. I let him in, and he was acting strange, like something was bothering him."

"Well, what doesn't?" Annie quipped.

"True," Caroline chuckled. "But he seemed more bothered than usual."

"Probably because he's beginning to realise that he's married to an obnoxious bitch," Annie said, rolling her eyes.

"Again, true, but he was just… I don't know. He was strange."

At the look she received from Annie, she laughed, and added: "More so than usual."

"Right," Annie nodded. "So then what happened?"

"He said he was just tired," Caroline continued, "which is why I told him he should go home and get some rest. He agreed, and I walked him to the door, but instead of saying goodbye… he kissed me. He pushed me up against the door and kissed me."

"And then?" Annie urged, clearly intrigued.

"And then I started to cry," Caroline admitted sheepishly.

Annie chuckled. "Of course you did."

"Well, I was overwhelmed," she went on, somewhat defensively. "His hands were under my t-shirt, and I just… broke down. When he asked me what was wrong, I told him that I love him, that I didn't care if this was a one-time thing, and that we could just go back to normal in the morning."

"Oh hon," Annie said softly, putting her hand on Caroline's. "You were so far in over your head, weren't you?"

"Yes I was," Caroline whispered. "But Richard told me he could never go back to normal if he slept with me, because he had wanted me for two and a half years. This whole time… can you believe that?"

Annie withdrew her hand from Caroline's, and started to fiddle with her napkin.

"Yeah, I can," she mumbled.

"What do you mean?" Caroline inquired, leaning forward.

"I can believe it. I sort of… knew," she finished meekly.

"You what? How?"

"I noticed pretty early on, actually," Annie began. "I started to notice the little things he would do for you, despite his disinterest in doing anything for anyone else, ever. Then I started noticing the way he would look at you when you weren't aware of it. He masked his feelings really well, I think he was so scared that you would find out, but I saw through it, and I'm pretty sure I wasn't the only one."

"But you never said anything to me?"

"I did. Right here, after Del had proposed to you, remember? In fact, Remo agreed with me."

"Oh yeah," Caroline mused. "I went straight to his apartment after that, but I found a woman in his closet."

"Really?" Annie asked, surprised. "The only thing I would expect to find in there is a skeleton."

Caroline smiled wryly, shaking her head at her best friend.

"Okay, don't tell me I was supposed to resist that one," Annie smirked. "A woman, though? Really?"

"Yeah," Caroline chuckled. "It was weird, because he seemed almost desperate to hide her from me."

"Of course he was," Annie insisted. "He didn't want you to see him with another woman."

"Right," Caroline muttered. "So how… when did you first begin to suspect?"

Annie hesitated, trying to recall that first little inkling she'd had of Richard's feelings.

"I can't pinpoint it exactly," she began, "but you were always the only one he really gave a crap about. He cared about your opinions."

"He did not!" Caroline protested.

"Oh yeah, he did," Annie confirmed. "And he always did nice things for you."

"Reluctantly!"

"Doesn't matter," Annie stated. "He wouldn't have done any of it at all if it had been for anyone else. He did it for you. Besides, he couldn't just agree straight away, could he? Not if he wanted to keep his feelings a secret."

"So that was your first clue?"

"Pretty much. And then I started to notice that look on his face."

"What look?" Caroline asked, her brow creasing.

"When you weren't paying attention, he would look at you with eyes full of… I don't know, longing? Pain? Despair? His looks were always a mix of things. But sometimes, they were simply looks of love, especially as we got closer to your wedding. And when he got back from Paris, the way he would look at you was so intense I've never seen anything like it before. Of course I had also found the letter at that point."

"The letter?" Caroline inquired, practically on the edge of her seat.

"Yep," Annie stated. "Good old Richie wrote you a love letter the evening before you were supposed to marry Del. But you never found it, because you accidentally boxed it up with all the thank-you notes and then gave them to Vicki. When he threw them out the window of her apartment that day she was giving birth-"

"Wait, he threw them out of the window?"

"Yes."

"So how did you find the letter?"

"I was outside, remember? Trying to get a taxi so we could go to the hospital. It landed on the sidewalk and I picked it up."

"Wow," Caroline breathed. "He wrote me a love letter. I don't think anyone has ever done that before. That's so sweet."

"Yeah, that's Richie: sweet as sugar. So anyway, I made copies of it and used them to torment him for months," Annie smirked.

"Annie!" Caroline exclaimed.

Annie laughed. "Oh come on, Caroline, he's so uptight! It's so easy to screw with him, I can't help it."

Caroline smiled wryly. "So why didn't you tell me then?"

"Because he begged me not to," Annie sighed. "But even after he married Julia, I've still seen him look at you the same way he always has, and I have never, not once, seen him look at Julia like that."

"Really?" Caroline said, almost whispering. Her eyes went blank with tears. "My god, Annie," she sniffled. "This has been happening under my nose for two and a half years. How could I miss it?"

"Because, sweetie, he was hiding it from you, and you were too close to it to really see it clearly, anyway. As an outsider, I could observe from a distance, because he wasn't necessarily aware of me all the time." Annie contemplated this for a second. "In fact, I'm pretty sure he tries to ignore my existence whenever he can," she added.

Caroline chuckled, nodding weakly.

"Besides, I'm not sure he's even aware of that look himself. I don't think he knows how expressive his face is sometimes. When I first showed him the letter, he tried to deny that he still had feelings for you, but I think he realised pretty quickly that I could see right through him."

Caroline brushed a tear from her cheek.

"What did the letter say?" she finally whispered.

"Actually," Annie began, "I brought a copy of it for you. It's in my purse, if you want to read it."

Caroline gave her a nod, and she pulled it out, handing it over to her. Caroline took it carefully, and for a minute it looked like she was going to be sick.

"It's okay, sweetie," Annie reassured. "It's actually really beautiful."

Caroline smiled through her tears, and unfolded the letter, taking a shaky breath as she began to read.

A combination of emotions washed over Caroline as she read the words that Richard had written for her. She couldn't help but chuckle through her tears as she read some of the wording; "probably violating several rules of etiquette" was something only Richard would write. She felt heartbreak when she saw that he had wanted her to meet him at Remo's. But most of all, she felt an endless amount of love for him.

She read it several times, not even bothering to wipe away the tears that were streaming down her face. Richard… he really loved her. He had loved her this whole time, despite everything that was wrong with her, the things that had driven everyone else away; he had worked closely with her, through all the little ups and downs in her personal life, and he still loved her. He knew her better than most people, and instead of loving her less as he got to know her better, he'd just grown to love her more? And he'd kept it from her. He'd stood by her, keeping his feelings bottled up inside, when he could have just left.

But wait a minute… he did leave. He went to Paris. For three months. Without saying anything.

"Annie?"

"Yes?"

"Did Richard run off to Paris because of this letter?"

Annie sighed, furrowing her brow. "I'm pretty sure that's why he left, yeah."

"And I ran into him in the streets of New York by accident. He was never going to contact me, was he? He was just going to disappear out of my life." Caroline was in a daze.

Annie shook her head. "I think he was so scared of his own feelings, and so defeated emotionally, that running away was the only solution he could see," she said in what appeared to be a rare moment of profundity.

Caroline sniffled, using both hands to swipe at the tear tracks.

"But that's just absurd," she whispered.

Annie considered a few sarcastic responses to that statement, but decided against it. Now wasn't the time.

"I know, hon," she said simply. "When it comes to love, people don't think rationally. Sometimes it can get absurd."

Caroline couldn't help but laugh at that. "I guess so."

"He loves you, sweetie. He always has. That whole "happily married" charade didn't fool me one bit, because I know him. I've watched him. I've seen the way he looks at you. That's why I snapped when Julia mocked the idea of you and Richard having an affair, because all I could think was, 'oh bitch you don't know what you're talking about'." Annie chuckled. "That woman doesn't know her own husband. She could be in denial, I suppose, but those women usually try harder. She's so effortlessly arrogant, I don't think she sees anyone but herself."

Caroline frowned. "I hate her," she muttered. "I actually hate her. I'm not sure I've ever truly hated someone before."

"I don't think you have," Annie said, almost proudly.

"Alright you two!" Remo interrupted. "Will you be placing your orders today?"

Standing outside of the door to her loft, Caroline thought about the letter. She'd tucked it away in her purse, but her newfound knowledge of it was burning inside of her. She wanted to talk to Richard about it, but she didn't want to make him feel ambushed. Something like that was bound to make him uncomfortable, and she was still so scared of losing him. Her head was filled with scenarios of how it could end badly if she approached the subject. But she couldn't sit on it forever.

She turned the handle, slowly opening the door to find him sitting on his side of the desk, still seemingly unaware of her presence. She closed the door to alert him of her return, and leaned back against it just as he looked up. Before she'd had the chance to gather her thoughts, he was right in front of her, and she found herself in the exact position she had been in just a few hours ago: trapped between the door and the man she was desperately in love with.

Following the script, he pushed her up against the door again, breathing heavily against her mouth, their lips occasionally touching. Her own breath hitched sharply, and when his hand traced from her waist to the hem of her skirt, she trembled, barely able to breathe at all. He inched his way up the inside of her thigh until his fingers brushed against her underwear, still visible through her tights. His lips brushed against hers, and he gently cupped her mound, teasing her gently through the fabric. Caroline whimpered.

"God, I want you," he whispered. "You're like a drug or something."

She hummed, before she managed to find her voice. "Without any of the bad after-effects, I hope."

"Only good ones," he murmured, before finally kissing her properly, their lips melting together perfectly. She moaned softly, feeling dizzy already, and she parted her lips to invite his tongue into her mouth. He accepted the invitation almost immediately, intensifying the kiss considerably; his hand was still between her legs, and she was aching, resisting the urge to press her own hand on top of it to end this sweet torture.

He slowly removed his hand from her crotch, bringing it back up to rest on her waist. He released her lips; he was already painfully hard, and he moved to whisper in her ear: "In fact, I need you."

"You have me," she breathed, and she felt him draw a long, shaky breath against her neck, sending shivers down her spine.

He continued to place kisses down her neck, occasionally parting his lips to taste her with his tongue. Inhaling her scent, he felt lightheaded; she smelled so good. He swirled his tongue whenever he came across a sensitive spot, eliciting a series of sighs and moans, and once even a sharp, strangled sound which he definitely made a mental note of for future endeavours.

"Richard," she whimpered. "I… you…" she struggled, clearly grasping for coherency. Pleased by her response, the tip of his tongue traced across her collarbone, but he was becoming increasingly aware of his erection pressing into her.

"Oh god," she quivered. "Please take me… upstairs…"

"Gladly," he murmured into her ear.

They tumbled into bed; frantically trying to undress each other in-between frenzied kisses. Caroline had managed to undo the buttons on his shirt and was now struggling to tear it off, and he'd pulled off her skirt and tights on their way up the stairs. Her hands roamed over his bare chest, gently tracing his ribs with her fingers, and he shivered, her touch making him lightheaded. He placed kisses along her jawline, and she reached for the zipper on his jeans, making him tremble as she came into contact with his erection. She undid the button, pulled the zipper down, and slipped her hands underneath the fabric of his underwear.

Richard made a noise that sounded almost pained, and she withdrew her hands, pulling them back up to grab a hold of his face.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, biting her lip nervously.

He looked into her eyes, as if searching for something; the look on his face was one of concern.

"Why are you sorry?"

"Well, I…" She hesitated. "I thought I did something wrong."

"Oh, god no. It's not your fault you're so gorgeous I can't last two seconds without feeling like I'm about to explode."

She gazed up at him. "So you're just…"

"Painfully turned on?" he interrupted.

She bit her lip again, nodding slightly.

"Yeah," he laughed.

"Well, that I can help you with," she giggled.

"Good," he whispered huskily, as he began working on her blouse, button by button, enjoying the sound of her breathing as it became more laboured with every second. She lifted her back up enough for him to pull it off completely, and he took a moment to admire her beautiful figure, running his hands over her smooth skin. She shivered under his touch.

Caroline still wanted to get him out of his jeans, so her hands moved south once more. She felt him shake, and his eyes quickly found hers, staring at her painfully.

"Will you let me?" she asked softly.

"Caroline…" he whispered, closing his eyes.

"It's okay, Richard," she whispered back, her lips curling into a sweet smile, and he knew exactly what she meant by that. She was telling him to go ahead.

He sat up briefly to tear his jeans off, and then he crawled back on top of her. He leaned in to kiss her fervently, his hands reaching below her to unhook her bra; she arched her back, and he wasted no time in getting the garment off, throwing it to the floor.

Caroline, with her skin flushed, her eyes closed and her bottom lip caught firmly between her teeth, was so beautiful he almost forgot how to breathe. He ran his hands down her body, brushing his fingers over her breasts and down her ribcage, and she trembled, her breathing uneven and strained. Upon reaching her panties, his fingers inched underneath the fine fabric, and she whimpered; he felt her twitch slightly as he brushed over her clit, and she gasped loudly, and god he was close to his breaking point now, but he choked back a pained sound, determined to get her sufficiently wet first.

He moved to hook both hands under the elastic band, tugging the piece of underwear down her legs before disposing of it. His hands traced back up along the insides of her thighs, and he placed a kiss on her lower abdomen, before sitting up, placing one knee on either side of her left thigh. His fingers grazed between her folds, and she let out a strangled moan as she arched her back.

"Richard," she breathed, and he pressed his thumb against her clit, causing her to emit a sharp, high-pitched sound, her whole body tensing up as she gasped for air. He slipped one finger inside of her, and she felt slick and wet, so when she whimpered again he slowly removed his hand from her crotch, shifting positions so he was face to face with her again. He captured her lips in a tender kiss, before gently inserting himself into her.

It was the most incredible feeling, being inside of her, feeling her trembling underneath him as he listened to her soft moans. He pressed his face into her neck, his head spinning as she arched into him, and he didn't think he could possibly love her more. Starting a slow, sensual rhythm, he pushed himself deeper into her, and she wrapped her legs around him, pulling him closer. He kissed her neck lazily, and he felt her breath hitch harshly as his hand moved to cup one of her breasts.

Caroline closed her eyes and bit her lip as Richard's hand rubbed her breast, gently teasing her nipple with his amazingly skilled fingers. This, combined with his hot breath against her neck, was almost driving her mad, and she knew she was being pushed towards an earth-shattering climax.

"Oh my god," she whimpered.

Richard's heart soared at the sound of her voice; she sounded about as close as he was, and he would do everything he could to push her over the edge at this point.

"God, you're beautiful," he breathed. "So beautiful."

She let out an almost sob-like sound, and he intensified his movements, feeling his own release approaching rapidly.

"Caroline," he whispered against her neck. "You're perfect. I love you so much I can barely breathe."

A strangled sound filled the air, and she was definitely close to the edge now; he could tell. It was the most amazing feeling. He was moaning softly into her neck, the sound muffled against her warm, sweaty skin, and they were grinding against each other, perfectly in sync. She was quivering around him, and with a final thrust, she came, screaming his name so loudly he was half-worried the whole building had heard it, and when he pushed himself into her again, she came a second time, whimpering uncontrollably and contracting around him so hard that it sent him over the edge as well; he was shaking, almost violently, the pleasure so intense it was like nothing else he had ever experienced.

"I love you," Caroline whispered shakily.

He fought to regain some control over his voice, but his language seemed to have temporarily deserted him, so he leaned down to place a soft, lingering kiss on her lips instead. She sighed against his mouth, the sound quiet and content, which was exactly how he felt, being with her.

He rolled over to the side, suddenly feeling sleepy, and she snuggled into him, draping her arm over his chest.

"I could stay like this forever," she murmured affectionately.

"Me too," he said, his fingers tracing in gentle circles on her back.

They dozed off after that, and Caroline had no idea how much time had passed when she was suddenly stirred from her blissful slumber by the sound of her front door slamming shut.

"Reechard?" she heard the annoying voice of Julia call out. Richard sprung into a sitting position, his eyes growing wide.

"Oh my god," he whispered, sounding panicked.

Caroline bit her lip worriedly, looking around for something to cover herself up with.

"Richard," she whispered nervously. "Your shoes are at the bottom of the stairs, and my clothes-"

"Are scattered on the steps," he finished, as his face contorted into a grimace.

"Yeah," she confirmed, covering her face with her hands.

"Reechard!" Julia repeated, a bit louder this time.

"Shit," Caroline hissed, getting up and scrambling for her clothes that lay on the floor around her bed.

"Caroline, calm down. It will be okay."

"How is it going to be okay?" she whispered harshly, her eyes wide with fear.

"Look," he began, putting his hands on her shoulders. "This isn't how I wanted her to find out, either, especially because I didn't want you to have to deal with it, but no matter what happens, I will not let her get anywhere near you. Okay?"

"Okay," she said quietly.

"Caroline? Is anyone here?" Julia shouted, and Caroline cringed, her mind reeling as reality caught up with her. Julia was downstairs. This was happening.

Richard quickly got dressed, but Caroline had only come as far as underwear and blouse when she heard Julia's voice again.

"What the hell?" she heard the other woman mutter. She had obviously discovered the discarded clothing, and pretty soon they heard her footsteps as she ascended the stairs. Caroline threw one final panicked glance in Richard's direction, and then Julia appeared in the doorway with an incredulous look on her face. It was quickly replaced by anger when her eyes fell on a half-dressed Caroline.

"Does either of you think I'm an idiot?" she asked coldly.

Neither of them knew how to respond to that, so they just remained silent.

"I came here to tell you that lying to me is pointless," she said, glaring at Richard. "I know what it means when a man stays out all night. Who goes for a walk all night in the middle of winter?" She shook her head. "I don't think so," she scoffed. "But I certainly didn't expect to find you with her! What were you thinking?"

Richard seemed unable to answer her, so she pressed on, turning her attention towards Caroline.

"And you," she spat, "what do you think you're doing?"

"I don't..." Caroline began, but Julia cut her off.

"Did you think he would magically fall in love with you if you took your clothes off? Hm? Pathetic little girl… Look at yourself!"

Her words cut Caroline like a knife, and her eyes filled with tears. What Julia was saying was hitting just a little too close to home.

"You have been after him since day one, but guess what? He married me. He's never going to love you. Why would he? You are not his type."

"Shut up, Julia," Richard muttered.

"What?" she barked.

"Just shut up," he repeated, louder this time.

"Why?" she snapped.

"Because I'm not going to let you talk to her that way. I love her."

Julia looked sufficiently stunned, and seemed unable to comprehend what he had just told her.

"Excuse me?"

"I think you heard me," he stated firmly.

"You love her?" Julia sneered. "Why?"

"What kind of question is that?" Richard bit back.

"That frail little thing?" Julia ridiculed. "You can't be serious."

Despite being determined not to cry in front of this woman, Caroline couldn't hold back anymore. A small sob slipped out, followed by another one, and the tears that had been threatening to spill over finally did.

Richard, who until this very moment had been frozen in the same spot at the foot of the bed, suddenly regained the ability to move, and in a few strides he was by her side, wrapping his arms around her protectively.

"Shh, Caroline, don't listen to her." He cradled her in a loving embrace, and she sobbed into him, her shoulders shaking gently.

"She is the most wonderful person I have ever known," he said, looking at Julia ferociously. "And actually, I'm the one who made the first move, so you cannot blame her for this. You can't blame her for anything. I married you because I thought I loved you, but you know what? I didn't. I don't. I used to, a long time ago, but everything changed when I met Caroline. I can't live without her. I can, however, easily live without you."

When Caroline turned to look at Julia again, the other woman looked nothing short of horrified. She still felt so very small in her presence, but with Richard's arms around her, at least she felt safe. She felt safe, and wanted. Loved. Julia couldn't take that away from her.

"So… you're leaving me?" Julia finally whispered. "For her?"

"Yes I am," Richard confirmed. "I'm sorry," he sighed, reluctantly. "I never should have married you. Not when I was so desperately in love with someone else. It was reckless and stupid, and I will accept the blame for that. I don't know what I was thinking."

"I see," Julia said quietly. She had been reduced to a shadow of what she had been when she first walked in on them. She was almost unrecognisable. Caroline couldn't help but feel sorry for her, even after all those horrible things she had said.

"I'm sorry, Julia," Caroline whimpered, and the other woman winced. She looked truly defeated, which Caroline suspected was something she had never experienced before. Julia seemed like someone who was used to getting what she wanted, and she was probably going through a severe reality check right now, realising that the world didn't actually revolve around her.

"You told me it wasn't you," Julia said, her voice still uncharacteristically quiet.

"Last night was the first time," Caroline sniffled. "But if I had told you it was me, it doesn't sound like you would have believed it."

Julia hung her head, and it looked like she was trying to compose herself.

"Why now?" she asked, turning towards Richard again.

"Because you waltzed into that car dealership yesterday and, in blatant spite, pretended to think that the snow globe was for you. You knew very well that it wasn't. I was trying to do something nice for Caroline, after everything she has done for me over the past two and a half years, and you made her feel bad about it. You made her feel like she was in the wrong. You're petty, and vindictive, and I can't stay married to someone like that."

Julia looked like she'd just taken a huge blow to her face. Her royal highness has probably never heard anything like that before, Caroline thought. But the other woman's face quickly turned icy again.

"Well, if that's how you feel," she said, with an air of indifference. Caroline wondered if she was really that cold, or if it was just an act. Just a minute ago it had seemed like Richard's words were having a genuine impact on her, but now… if it was an act, it was a very convincing one.

"It is how I feel," Richard confirmed. Julia just nodded at that.

"I really am sorry," Caroline said quietly. "I honestly didn't think this would happen. I didn't think I stood a chance, either. Not against you. We were on the same page on that one."

Richard placed a kiss on top of her head. "And that," he began, as he turned to look at Julia again, "is why I love her. She is not only beautiful on the outside; she is beautiful on the inside as well. She is the opposite of arrogant; she is humble, and gracious, and giving. She cares. She is who I want to spend the rest of my life with."

"Fine," Julia sneered. "You'll hear from my lawyer."

With that, she turned around and disappeared down the steps. However, it wasn't until she heard the front door slam shut that the tension in Caroline's body started to ease up.

"Richard, I-"

"I'm so sorry, Caroline. I really didn't want you to be subjected to that." His tone of voice was one of immense sadness.

"It's okay," Caroline said softly. "I'm sort of glad you didn't have to go through it alone. Really wish I could have turned off the waterworks, though," she chuckled.

He laughed softly, hugging her even tighter to him. "If you could do that, you just wouldn't be you."

"That is strangely comforting, actually," she giggled, wrapping her arms around his waist as she snuggled further into his embrace.

They decided that they could finish the rest of the cards later; Caroline was still shaken up after what had happened with Julia, and Richard had resigned himself to the fact that he would have to sit down and talk to her about everything. He had created such a mess for himself, and he wished he could just forget about it, but he couldn't, because life wasn't that easy. So after Julia walked out, Richard had guided a weepy Caroline back to bed, and they ended up sitting there, leaning back against the headboard; Caroline nestling into the crook of his arm, just talking, finding comfort in each other.

"I'm such a coward," he sighed.

"Why do you say that?" Caroline sniffled.

"I should have told you how I felt about you. I've had so many opportunities, but I just chickened out, every single time. It's easy to say that now, though, I guess."

"Yeah," she whispered. "I wish I had found that letter."

He tensed up almost immediately. The letter. He had worked so hard to keep that from her.

"You know about that?" he asked nervously.

It was weirdly adorable how he could still be so nervous about it. Caroline smiled to herself.

"Annie let me read it over lunch," she admitted.

"Of course she did," he replied dryly, but there was a hint of amusement in his tone, as well.

She giggled, and leaned over to press a soft kiss against his neck. "She kept it a secret this whole time. I'm sort of proud of her for that, even though I wish she would have told me."

"Well, I had to endure constant jokes and jabs about it for several months." He couldn't help but chuckle. "The fact that she had copies of that letter sometimes kept me up at night."

Caroline laughed, surprising herself as she did so. "My feelings for you have kept me up at night, too. Look at us!"

Richard had to laugh, as well. She was right. Although he didn't really know how far back her feelings for him went.

Caroline sat up slightly in order to face him, her expression turning serious.

"I wish I had met you at Remo's that day," she said sadly.

He returned the smile. "You did," he replied, his finger tracing along the outline of her face.

He watched, as her eyes grew wide with realisation.

"Oh my god," she whispered. "And you kissed me."

"Yeah," he whispered back.

"You thought I had found the letter," she continued, in a daze. "And I…" She trailed off, staring into her lap.

"You were getting married," he said quietly. "I was desperate."

"I'm sorry," she choked.

He grabbed her hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. "Hey, why are you sorry? That's just another example of me being a coward. I should have told you in person."

"I wish you had," she whispered, once again on the verge of tears.

"Would you have wanted to hear it?"

She studied him carefully. "Why wouldn't I have wanted to hear it?"

"I mean… did you have feelings for me, back then?"

"Well, it wasn't a fully grown forest, but you had planted some seeds…"

He raised his eyebrows at her. "What kind of analogy is that?"

Caroline giggled. "Anyway, I liked you enough to go looking for you while I was considering Del's proposal."

"What?"

"I was talking to Annie and Remo about it, mentioning to them how you seemed to think it was a bad idea. Annie said it was because you had a thing for me. Remo agreed. I thought they were both crazy, but at the same time it stirred up some feelings inside of me, so I went to your apartment…"

"Was I not home?"

"No, you were… you just weren't alone," she recalled.

"Oh, god!" he groaned. "That woman from the employment agency. Maddie."

"I was so embarrassed," she chuckled. "I wanted to kill Annie and Remo for putting ideas into my head!"

"In case you didn't notice, I wanted to come with you, more than anything. I think I almost left my apartment without a shirt on."

"You did," Caroline confirmed with a laugh. "But I… I didn't believe you had a "thing" for me in the first place, so when I found her there… to me that was just proof that I was right and that Annie was wrong."

"Well… Annie wasn't entirely right," Richard said wryly. "I didn't have a "thing" for you. I loved you." He smiled ruefully. "I was so in love with you, I didn't think I could keep working for you after you married Del. The thought of it was too painful. So I went to an employment agency to look for a new job, and that's how I met Maddie."

Caroline's eyes were blank with unshed tears. "And then you moved to Paris, without even saying goodbye?"

"Oh god, Caroline… I had lost my mind. I'd hit rock bottom. I had spent almost a year of my life struggling with feelings I didn't understand to the point where it actually scared me. You were not someone I ever expected to fall for, but I fell so hard, and I… I ran away. I couldn't cope with it. For years I thought that Julia was the love of my life, and that I would never love anyone else as much as I loved her, but I couldn't have been more wrong. I tried to ignore it, hoping it would eventually go away, and then, when Julia showed up… I thought it was my chance to prove to myself that I still loved her more than I loved you. I thought that if I married her, I'd get over you." He laughed despite himself. "Ridiculous," he muttered.

Tears were streaming down Caroline's cheeks. Her mind was reeling, as random memories came flooding back to her.

"So that night when Julia slept on the couch, and I came down and caused a scene…?"

He used both of his thumbs to wipe away her tears. "What about it?" he asked softly.

"I thought, just for a second, that I saw a flicker of something in your expression… when I was trying to explain to you why I had slapped you. I figured my mind had played tricks on me, but you almost looked, and sounded, kind of… hopeful. Or maybe not hopeful, but… I don't know, like you wanted me to say something different to what I ended up saying." She bit her bottom lip nervously. "Did you?"

He sighed. "God, yes. You were crying, and I wanted to hold you in my arms so badly, but I knew I couldn't allow myself to do that. My mind had been set on running after Julia, but when I heard your voice, sounding so… broken, somehow… Julia completely vanished from my mind in that moment. My heart leapt into my throat. I thought you were going to tell me that you were jealous."

"I was," she admitted quietly.

"Then why didn't you say something?"

She closed her eyes, causing another flood of tears to spill over and roll down her cheeks.

"Because," she whispered shakily, "I thought you wanted her. After meeting Julia, I didn't exactly look at myself in the mirror and see someone that you could ever be attracted to."

Richard shook his head sadly. "I can't believe how insecure you are."

"I have my weak points," she sniffled.

He put his hand on her cheek. "You're perfect to me."

"Nonsense," she muttered, and he chuckled at that. She was hopeless.

"And I did actually try to reach out to you," she continued.

His brow creased. "What do you mean?"

"I had lunch with Del the day after, and I asked him if he thought you and I could have something. He said yes, so I spent the rest of the day working up the nerve to call you, but when I did, I just got your machine. So I left a message."

"I never got a message," he protested.

She bit her lip nervously. "Yes, you did. Julia erased it."

"She did what?!"

"Yeah… In her defence, it was your wedding night. She told me she thought she was doing me a favour. I couldn't really blame her, because I had wanted to delete it myself. I was freaking out, because I was so worried you would hear it."

"I don't know what I would have done if I had," he said quietly. "I had just gotten married… but god knows I would have chosen you over Julia."

Caroline leaned back into him, needing to feel the warmth of his embrace. They sat there in silence for a while after that, both of them lost in their own thoughts, but after a few minutes, Caroline spoke again.

"Richard?"

"Hmm?"

"Do you really…" She paused, and sat up so she could face him, biting her lip like she always did when she was nervous. "Do you really want to spend the rest of your life… with me?"

"Oh god," he chuckled. "That one just slipped out, didn't it?"

"Kind of," she giggled, but her face quickly turned serious again. "But… do you?"

Richard stared at her intently. "Of course I do."

There were tears in her eyes again. "The rest of your life is a long time."

"Potentially," he quipped, and she laughed through her tears.

"I used to think it would be too long," he continued, "but now… I sort of want it to go on forever." He grabbed her hand, smiling warmly at her as he laced his fingers with hers.

She returned the smile as she gazed into his eyes. "Me too."