Title: I have been where you are before (and I have felt the pain of losing who you are)

Disclaimer: not my characters

Warnings: AU before Avengers; references, of course, to violence/abuse/torture, and also child abuse; possibly AUish for Bruce and the Hulk's relationship? I dunno.

Pairings:

Rating: PG

Wordcount: 660

Point of view: third

Note: it's going to be a while before James remembers or Bruce figures out who James used to be, so I thought I'd share: my headcanon has Bucky Barnes as the older brother of three sisters named Rebecca, Olivia, and Julia. They were nicknamed Becca, Livy, and Jules. Keep that in mind, yeah?

A young goat follows them out of a village. James grins, watching it; Bruce smiles, watching James. James slows down to let the goat keep up. Bruce already has their endgoal in mind for the evening, so he doesn't mind taking their time.

James murmurs to the goat in what sounds like Russian, though Bruce isn't quite sure. Roger feels a little longing - he likes animals (far more than Bruce does) but they always keep their distance.

Bruce expects the goat to turn back by the time they reach their camping spot, but its still prancing beside James. James says, "Her name is Livy."

"Hello, Livy," Bruce says solemnly. "We're having dried fish tonight, so I hope you don't mind."

James laughs. While Bruce pulls out the dinner supplies, James patrols the perimeter. As far as Bruce can determine, Roger and either the experimentation or James' natural mutation make their senses about equal. James, though, has a far better understanding of the stimuli than Bruce, and can also move so silently it's frightening.

Livy the goat stares at Bruce. He ignores her, setting out enough fish for both him and James.

"Bruce," James says from behind him. Thankfully, Roger had heard him so Bruce doesn't startle.

"All clear?" he asks.

James nods. The sun has almost completely set. Bruce holds out James' share while Livy the goat bleats for attention. "Eat leaves or grass," Bruce tells her, feeling only a little ridiculous. James chuckles.

Livy the goat spends the evening moving ever closer to Bruce. Bruce continues to ignore her, telling James about The Empire Strikes Back. For the past two weeks, he's covered the prequels and A New Hope, so the epic spoiler has already been thoroughly spoiled. James seems to like the story, anyway. His favorite characters are R2 and Threepio.

Finally, Livy the goat noses at Bruce's knee. "She wants to meet Roger," James says and Bruce just stares at him.

"I'm sorry?" Bruce says after a moment.

James nods. "Roger likes animals, he told me so. And Livy knows there's more to you." He shrugs.

roger is practucally bouncig in the back of Bruce's mind, and Livy the goat is trying to climb into his lap. It's... bizare to say the least. "So you're suggesting i let Roger out just to meet a goat?" he asks incredusluy.

The look James gives him is - he's not sure. Somewhere between disapproving and disappointed, maybe. "Of course," James says, as though it's obvious. "He's a person, too, isn't he? That's his body as much as it is yours."

James has only ever sounded this sure when they discussed possible battle strategies. He defers to Bruce during interactions with civillians and tries to avoid interactions in general as much as possible. And he doesn't know the story of how Roger came to share Bruce's body - it's entirely likely, in fact, that James thinks Roger has always been there. He doesn't know that Roger's existence is an accident, and one that Bruce has spent years hatimg himself and Roger for.

But looking James in the eye as Livy the goat stretches herself across Bruce's lap, Bruce realizes that isn't fair. None of this has been Roger's fault. He's actually the only innocent in the entire situation, isn't he? Fuck.

So he closes his eyes and reaches toward Roger, letting go.

.

When it's Bruce's turn again, he wakes up to see Livy the goat resting next to James, her head on his thigh. "I'd like to keep her," James says softly, glancing over at Bruce as he stretches. "She and Roger adored each other."

Bruce chuckles, shaking his head. "Wish I could'a seen it."

"At dawn, I'm taking her back to the village," James says.

"Alright." Bruce rises to his feet, stepping into the brush to relieve himself. Wehn he returns to camp, James is gently running his fingers along Livy the goat's neck, humming what sounds like a lullaby.