Disclaimer: I do not own. Me Wish

Title: Of Joy and Fascinations (In Silk Hearts)

Rating: T

Genre: Romance/Angst/Military/History

Pairing: Itachi/Sakura

Type: One-shot

Note: Set during a fictional war between Japan and China where Japan falls and submits to China. Also heavily inspired by Empress Ki.

And just in case, where 'emperor' is mentioned, it refers to Gaara. When 'king' is used, it is referring to Neji.

Haruno Sakura was a fascination for everyone in the kingdom. It was a paradox in itself, the story of this one person who won the hearts of so many. Her story began in the streets of Japan, clothed in rags and eating rotten food found in any nearby dump. Her decision to disguise herself as a man and enter the state exams to join the royal army was one that was never heard of. Her slow rise to become the king's most trusted soldier was a tale spread throughout the land, spanning from the Japan to China, where they wondered what woman could accomplish such a feat.

Her loyalty to the king was second to none, even when Japan fell to the war with China, even when King Neji himself found out her real identity as a woman, and when the emperor of China took a liking to her.

'I will not let you kill my king!' she was fiercely heard saying. Itachi knew because he was there, watching her stand tall in front of her defeated king in a desperate attempt to protect him. But King Neji had fallen with his nation, accepting defeat and swearing to regain his country to build a new home for his people. The Japanese royal family and many of the faction ministers were taken to China through a march that killed many, by starvation or dehydration. Others, by exhaustion. Death rolled over the march like a warm blanket, but the disgraced king of Japan prevailed. So did his loyal, Haruno Sakura. Haruno Sakuma they called her in the past. That was what Itachi had heard. Her name as a man was as feminine as her given one, but it had fooled her nation for years, so he couldn't find reason to insult. Itachi watched her on the march, keeping a close eye on her from where he rode on his horse. There was something about this woman that had fascinated him from the moment her identity had been revealed. Whether it was the pink roots that were slowly making themselves evident, after weeks of not being able to dye her hair the brown that was so customarily associated with her male counterpart, or the ferocious look in her verdant orbs, he didn't know.

As the next captain to-be of the royal guard, he told himself he could not be distracted by such a minor nuisance. She was nothing but a fallen soldier in war, most likely to be sold to slavery the very moment she entered China's capital. The emperor could do with her whatever he pleased, and there was nothing her king could do about it.

On their journey, Itachi did not miss the look in the Japanese king's eyes whenever he glanced in the woman's direction. With renewed curiosity, admiration and respect. And most of all, affection. As though he had long forgiven her crime of deceiving him. It did not settle well with Itachi, but he pushed it out of his mind. It was not his business. And yet, for the entirety of the march —exactly thirty seven days — he could not seem to keep his eyes off them.

-X-

Emperor Gaara reacted in a way nobody expected him to when told of the woman who committed treason. One look at her, a moment of silence and he nodded. 'She will be made a maid in the palace.'

It fell heavy on everyone's ears, and despite the obvious pain in the Japanese king's eyes, Itachi could see the subtle relief in him upon knowing she would not be sold to slavery. She would be safe, and nearby. As for the royal family, they were given heavily guarded quarters until Emperor Gaara decided what to do with them. Itachi heard through the grapevine that he intended to leave there until they died, forever imprisoned by their enemy, their defeator.

When the emperor called Itachi and the captain to his audience, Itachi bowed deeply.

'You've done well.' Emperor Gaara said, sounding pleased. 'How many died on the march?'

'Seventeen, Your Majesty. Four of them were distant relatives of the royal family, and six of them were government ministers.'

Gaara nodded. 'I see. Make sure the fallen king and his company are guarded well. They will not leave those quarters unless it is by my orders.'

'Yes, Your Majesty.'

'You are dismissed.'

-X-

For unexplainable reasons, Itachi found himself frequenting the palace more often than he had before. He had an inkling regarding why, but it was easier not to think about it. Even when he passed by the maid quarters, visited the library and walked past every servant court, he refused to admit the disappointment he felt when he couldn't spot a particular pink-haired woman.

It was one night, when he decided to join the parole to guard the Japanese royal family's quarters that he finally caught sight of her, the first time in almost three months. He was standing guard near the back exit when he heard a shuffling around the corner. Not wanting to cause panic amongst the guards over a possible false alarm, he carefully approached noise. And what he found both stunned him and left him feeling utterly hopeless.

King Neji stood with the girl, her hand clasped in his. 'You shouldn't be here.' He murmured.

'I came to make sure you were okay, Your Majesty. I apologise that I've only been able to come now.'

'Do not apologise for things that are out of your control.' And then the king pulled her close, arms wrapping themselves around her. Her own slowly rose to embrace him, and Itachi's heart felt heavy as he watched the exchange. When they parted, Neji placed a gentle kiss on her forehead, and Itachi knew, deep down, that the king had been aware of his most loyal subject's identity long before it was revealed during the war. Had they been lovers? The possibility left him with an uncomfortable sensation, and he chose not to dwell on it. Finally regaining his senses, he stepped forward, alerting the pair of his presence.

'You shouldn't be here.' He stated coldly, watching Sakura with an even stare.

'She was just leaving,' Neji interjected, voice stoning over.

'Good. Should she stay here another moment, the emperor will be alerted.' He turned to her. 'I'll escort you back to your quarters before they notice you've left.'

She bowed. It pained her, he could see. She was a soldier, made of steel, courage and pride. To bow down to the enemy was a blow to one's ego, an acceptance of superiority. For her king, he realized, she was willing to be trampled down.

They left before the guards on parole could spot them.

The walk back to the servants' court was slow and silent, and Itachi took it as an opportunity to study her for the first time in months. Her hair, now completely void of the brown dye, was a bright pink under the moonlight. Her feminine features were prominent; the gentle slope of the nose, defined cheekbones and rosy lips were so distinctly female, Itachi wondered how she ever passed for a man.

'You will not tell the emperor that I left my quarters?' She asked quietly.

'No.'

'Thank you.'

He spared a glance in her direction as they walked. She did not look at him. 'You are not the woman who stood so bravely in front of her king not long ago.'

She gazed towards the floor. 'That was Haruno Sakuma. I am not him.'

'I believed you were one and the same.'

'We share the same beliefs, same values. Our loyalties to our king are the same, but our identities are different.' She finally looked up, her leafy pools meeting his for the first time. It had his muscles clenching in unknown anticipation. 'Haruno Sakuma can only exist in Japan, serve His Majesty's side as his soldier. Sakuma is a free man.'

'And Sakura?' He questioned.

'Sakura is the same person in Japan or in China. She is the same everywhere. She is a prisoner in her own world. She is not free.'

'Why is that?' He murmured.

'Because she is a woman. Women are not free people,' she stopped in front of the quarters. Itachi hadn't even realized they arrived.

'I saw you watching me, Vice-Captain,' she admitted, turning to him. 'During the march.'

He was stunted that she had noticed. 'I was fascinated.'

'That a woman could be in the high ranks of male soldiers?'

'Because you were different.'

Her brows furrowed in confusion.

'The difference you described just now,' he elaborated, 'I saw it. The difference between Sakuma and Sakura.'

'I see.' A moment of silence passed before she bowed. 'Thank you for keeping this a secret, Vice-Captain.'

And as she turned and left, Itachi knew the gratitude in her eyes would be forever engrained in his soul.

-X-

Since then, Itachi found her often. His efforts in searching for her were fruitful whenever he looked in the library. In her free time, she often closed up in there and opened books to read. She had a curiosity for knowledge, a passion for education he had never seen in a woman before.

Women are not free people

He approached her at times, sitting across her at whatever table she was reading at. At first, she regarded him with surprise and dismay, but never questioned his presence. With time, she grew used to his company. Itachi knew this because she smiled at him when she did. Sometimes, she read allowed some of her favourite parts of whatever she was reading. Other times, she asked if he had any recommendations, to which he replied that he had many.

Weeks turned into months as they spent multiple times a week couped in the library, surrounded by books and knowledge beyond their understanding.

'Where did you learn to read Chinese?' He asked her once.

'There were many Chinese scripts in the royal library in Japan,' she replied. 'Why do you have a Japanese name?'

'I was raised to be a spy for the emperor. To be believable, I was brought up with a Japanese name.'

She raised a brow. 'You spied on the Japanese?'

'Multiple times, yes.'

She had nothing to say on the matter.

-X-

'Do you still see your king?' he asked one afternoon.

'Yes,' she admitted. 'I am careful to avoid nights where you patrol his quarters.'

Her honesty was both foolish and admirable. 'Are you his lover?'

She stared at him in silence, one that felt heavy on his heart and loud in his ears.

'No. The king and I were never lovers.' She murmured quietly.

Itachi heard what was not said. 'But you are his woman.'

She looked down at her book. 'I am.'

After a few moments, he curtly dismissed himself. He did not return to the library for two weeks. When he did, she never asked why.

-X-

It was with utmost alarm that Itachi realized the emperor's interest in Sakura went beyond his usual interest in any woman. He reinstated her to become his personal maid, and Itachi hated that it barred him from seeing her completely, save for the special moments in which he was summoned to be in the emperor's presence.

Months later, when he heard that he intended to make her his royal concubine, Itachi knew he had lost a battle he never realized he joined. And when he found her in the library a week before joining the royal harem, he saw the sorrow in her eyes, the anguish that was eating her soul.

'His Majesty is sick.'

He knew she was speaking about her king, her love.

'He's had weak health for a long time. It's a wonder he's lived so long, but we were hoping he'd live until we could rebuild Japan and,' her voice cracked, her eyes glistening over. In that moment, Itachi did not feel like the enemy that she was supposed to loathe. He felt like her friend. A companion that she needed.

Without a thought, he pulled her to him, and she did not hesitate to return the embrace, sobbing silently into his shoulder. 'I do not want to leave him,' her voice quivered. 'I cannot leave him.'

Itachi had no consolidating words to offer, because such a thing was beyond their control.

-X-

The fallen king of Japan died the night that Sakura was meant to spend her first time in the emperor's bedchambers. Itachi found no sleep, even as dawn crept near and light reached his room. The emperor was not a shameless man, but perhaps he couldn't see the wreck that was Sakura upon being a concubine when her own king died on his deathbed.

When Itachi saw her again, she was dressed with the best materials, hair pulled back into an elegant traditional design. She looked beautiful, but her eyes reflected misery.

He didn't have the courage to tell her the king's body was thrown into the trash, and that his family members were killed and their corpses were dealt with similarly. Something told him she already knew. She found time alone in the library, and when he joined her, she did not push him away.

'Does the emperor treat you well?' He asked.

'He does. He was respectful enough to leave me alone the first night.'

'I see.' It tore at his heart to know that her body was taken by another. That even though the emperor loved her (everyone could see it in his eyes, even his jealous empress), she did not love him.

'You are a unique woman, Haruno Sakura,' he murmured.

She smiled softly, sadly. 'Why is that?'

'You gain the affection of many men. I've not heard of another whose hands contain the hearts of two nations' kings.'

Her eyes glistened with unshed tears as she took a shaky breath. 'I didn't even get to say goodbye to him.' She whispered. 'He died, and I couldn't even tell him I loved him.'

Itachi clenched his fists. 'You will learn to love the emperor. He is not a bad man.'

It was all he could say. All he could offer. There was nothing else to say. Nothing else to offer.

-X-

Being a royal concubine relieved Sakura of many duties, gave her flexible authority over much of the palace, and most of all, offered her freedom that she could never quite indulge in. She spent much time educating herself, choosing to learn as much as she could about everything. She had great interest in medicine and politics, which he found interesting for a woman brought up in combat.

'Maybe if I know enough about the law, I can offer salvation for the Japanese refugees,' she told him, hope gleaming in her smile. 'I want to give them a new home where they can rebuild their lives.'

'That's thoughtful of you.' He responded.

'It's the least I could do.'

-X-

The months flowed into years when the empress died of a sudden illness. The kingdom was in mourning for a long time, and although he never quite loved his wife, Itachi saw her death affected the emperor as well. 'She was a companion who stood by me no matter what I did,' he said to Itachi when they were alone. 'She will be missed.'

Seven months later, Gaara made Sakura the empress, and although the factions were thrilled, the ministers were unhappy that the empress was once a Japanese soldier. But nobody could oppose the emperor's order, including Sakura herself. And so she became empress.

-X-

It was long contemplated that the emperor could not produce children. It was first believed to be the first empress who could not conceive, but after countless concubines and a second empress, the emperor's fertility was under question. It was unfortunate, but Itachi could not find it in him to be upset. Any first heir will most likely be produced by Sakura, and that was something he did not think he could cope with. Losing her to not one, but two men was enough. A child would only take her from him completely. Sometimes, Itachi wondered if it was his prayers that hindered the emperor's ability to have children.

Over the years, Itachi became captain of the guard, and after several more, took charge as general of the royal army. He led many victories against other nations, each time returning with no more than a bruise on his cheek or a scar on his back.

And each time he returned, he saw the joy on the empress' face, the relief that washed over her as he entered hers and the emperor's presence.

But it was after one particularly ferocious battle where he returned not only in bruises and cuts, but with a missing finger and news of stalemate. 'I am unsure of whether this battle can be won, Your Majesty,' he bowed in front of the emperor.

Gaara nodded. 'Pull back for now, General. I will notify you of my decision as to whether to continue soon enough.'

Itachi did not miss the fear in Sakura's eyes as he left their audience.

-X-

Two nights later, after the army pulled out of the battle, he was summoned to her quarters.

'Leave us,' Sakura ordered the servants, and the doors closed. They were left alone.

She was dressed in male garments, hair pulled back like it had been when she was a soldier. He could not question her decision.

'You've requested my presence, Your Highness,' Itachi bowed.

Sakura picked up her sword, unsheathing it as she approached him. Pressing the blade against his neck, she demanded him to look her in the eyes. The cool metal shifted against his skin as he met her gaze. It had been so long since they'd been so close, it opened his heart to the yearning he had long since closed off.

'I could kill you right now.' She warned quietly, eyes narrowing.

'I will not oppose your decision, Your Majesty.'

She pulled back, thrusting the sword in his hands, and grabbing the edge of the blade, she held it against her own neck. He stepped back in alarm.

'You could kill me right now.' She said.

'Your Majesty.'

'It's best you kill me now, Itachi,' her voice shook with emotion. 'I will die from sorrow if you leave me first. So it is best you kill me now so I do not mourn your death when yours arrives.'

His eyes widened at her words. His hand loosened on the handle, and as she dropped the blade, the sword clattered to the ground.

'Must all men I care for die before me?' She whispered. 'Will you leave me too?'

His hands shook at her confession, his blood pumped in his ears, deafening him to everything but her. 'I will never leave you.'

She reached out for his hand, fingers ghosting over where his one was now missing, leaving behind a stump. His good hand came up to grip her forearm, and when she looked up to meet his eyes once more, he saw what she was no longer holding back. 'Don't you ever leave me, Itachi.' She murmured.

It was all he needed to hear. Before she could say any more, his lips had already covered hers, hands coming up to loosen her hair and tangle in her locks. She responded with years of suppressed passion, leading them to her bedchambers where she reached for his robes.

Itachi didn't—couldn't— stop her.

-X-

Their affair, now years old, was never discovered. Not when Sakura finally discovered that she was pregnant at the age of thirty three after six years of marriage, not when she gave birth to a healthy boy with pink cheeks and equally pink hair, and not when Itachi found more and more reason to be in the emperor's palace. Gaara loved the child like any father would, choosing to share his joy with his closest companions. They named him Chun, for he was born in the spring, and Chun became the beacon of light for the entire nation.

Growing up, Gaara allowed him to train under the General, for he trusted his subject more than most. Itachi did not fail to take advantage and spend as much time with his boy as possible. He taught him all he could about the art of combat and war, although deep down, he prayed he never needed to experience such a thing.

At nights, when he managed to sneak into Sakura's chambers and spend the night in her loving arms, they often spoke of their little boy. 'He's going to have your character, I can feel it,' Sakura smiled against his chest.

'Thankfully he inherited your hair.'

She laughed. 'Indeed. It would have caused trouble if he'd inherited yours.'

'He will be a fine king.' He stated.

She looked up at him. 'Of course he would be. He's your son.'

-X-

When Chun was seven, the emperor passed away of illness, like many of his predecessors. His death shocked all of China, but there was hope, for his son would surely grow into a righteous man. But he was still too young.

Sakura's study of politics finally paid off when she used the knowledge to her advantage to secure her son's throne before another could take it from him. She became the royal empress, ruler of China.

-X-

Many believed Empress Haruno Sakura, object of affection for the most powerful men of her era, lived the rest of her life a widower. And she had. But it was not common knowledge that General Itachi was her lover. Not her first, but most definitely her last.

Itachi knew that Sakura had loved the king of Japan, and her fondness for the Japanese was shown through the countless refugees she accepted into Chinese territory. He knew the emperor loved her like a wife, and although she did not love him, she cared for him deeply. It left him feeling insecure and unusually hesitant. But what he also knew was that she loved him with all her heart. And when she kissed him, let him hold her, referred to her son as theirs, it was all he needed to go on.

Don't know where this came from. Mostly unedited too.

But if you have an opinion on it, feel free to leave a review?

Love and Respect

xx