AN: Steve/Tony pairing.

SHIELD Recruitment Survival Tip #517 - Keep in mind that fanfiction is just that: fiction. Intimating that any of the relationships...are real, without the principles actually telling you so, is dangerous to your well-being. Especially if known SHIELD enemies are involved.

Fanfiction is Fictitious. Mostly.

When Steve first heard the whispering, he ignored it. It wasn't as if he were in the middle of a presentation, and the new recruits weren't working on stealth moves, so a few words between them as they went through the training op wasn't a big deal. It annoyed him that they weren't focused, but, again, not a big deal.

Besides, he had gotten used to them talking about him, so it rarely fazed him when he heard his name bandied about in their conversations with one another. It was the price he paid for being a public figure. He didn't like it - especially when people he barely knew speculated on his private life - but he dealt with it with deaf ears and bland smiles, learning that you couldn't stop them if you wanted.

And, usually, that mentality curbed his curiosity and cooled most of his ire.

Until today.

Today, for some reason, when he heard his name mentioned by one of the trainees, his hackles rose. Maybe there was just something in the tone of this voice or even the expression on the perpetrator's face when he finally pinpointed them, but whatever it was, it had him seeing red once they were within earshot.

"And then, after he and Tony fucked, Loki used his scepter to take over Tony's body, which he then used to seduce Steve..." a light feminine voice said.

Snapping instantly to attention, as he typically did when someone mentioned his boyfriend of six months, Steve frowned and concentrated so he could figure out what the masses were saying about Tony this time. Dating a former playboy, Steve had gotten used to the fact that Tony's sex life was often fodder for wild speculation. It came with the territory. And while it annoyed him to no end, he'd made peace with it; he had to or go mad, or worse, spend all his time yelling at idiots.

So rumors were to be expected; but this tale was wilder than usual.

Frown deepening, Steve slowly lifted his head and scanned the room, trying to pinpoint the culprits, and honed in on three recruits jogging around the track when he heard some one cut the voice off.

"I don't think the scepter works like that," a slim, petite brunette said, her tone dry as she stared balefully at an equally slender and petite blonde.

Steve tried to place them, but they were still too far away to get a clear visual.

"Oh, please," their male companion snorted knowingly. "If you were expecting reality in an RPS, there is something seriously wrong. They call it fanfiction for a reason, darling. After all, look at the main pairing."

"Are you going to let me continue," the blonde said, huffing when the brunette just rolled her eyes and waved her hand in the universal signal of continue.

"Right, so Loki infiltrated Tony's body to seduce Steve..." the male said, licking his lips as his eyes seem to glaze at the thought. Steve snorted internally.

Don't even think of it, pal; he's mine.

"Yes, and while Loki was in charge of it, he discovered that Tony has secretly been in love with Steve for months, but hasn't said anything because he didn't want ruin their friendship. So, then, Loki used that to force Tony into seducing Steve and..."

Steve cast the speaker an irritated look, disgust roiling in his stomach at even the idea of Loki using Tony that way, and couldn't even begin to understand why someone would read such a story. And he planned to say so himself when the narration was, thankfully, cut off by their male counterpart once more.

"Speak of the devil..." the male smirked, his voice dipping low.

"What?" the blonde huffed, obviously irritated that she'd been interrupted once more.

"Look who just entered," the male said, casting an appreciative glance at something over Steve's shoulder. "I have to say, no one can deny that Stark is hot."

Steve arched a brow at that comment, and then glanced over his shoulder, his frown melting into a small smile when he found a grinning Tony behind him; one who'd obviously overheard that last comment given the preening. Steve just snorted and shook his head disparagingly at the brunet's antics. Not that he disagreed, but Tony's ego certainly did not need any extra stroking.

"And, Christ, have you ever seen the way he looks at the Captain? I swear he was trying to scorch his clothes off with nothing but his eyes the other day," the male continued, shooting a covetous glance their way.

"You know, I do get why these writers are so obsessed with the two of them as a couple; they just smolder around each other," the brunette said, watching him and Tony thoughtfully.

"Seriously, if they're not fucking, I'll eat my favorite..." the male continued, but Steve was done listening. Sending a now amused Tony a quelling look, Steve gave a shrill whistle, and clapped his hands to get the recruits' attention.

Enough was enough.

"You three, front and center," Steve commanded, pointing to the three gossipers before folding his arms across his chest as he stood. The three recruits looked at each other warily, but immediately complied. "The rest of you continue as ordered."

Steve just watched the recruits as they came over, an unimpressed expression on his face as they formed a line in front of him, shifting uneasily. And now that they were there, he was able to put names to faces. The two women, he was a bit surprised by; a blonde named Jenny and a brunette named Ashley, they were sisters, and for the most part, had been two of his more serious students. The male, a blond named Justin, he expected nothing less from as he'd heard from the other agents that he was a bit of a gossip.

Not that it mattered in the least.

"You know, it's cute that you three believe that I can't hear you over there, given that super soldier means optimal everything," Steve said, giving the three what Tony called his 'Captain America Disapproves of this Greatly' frown. "That includes hearing by the way."

Steve's frown deepened when he felt Tony shake next to him, unsuccessfully stifling a laugh at the recruits' expense, but didn't turn away to admonish him. He'd deal with that later.

The three flushed, all obviously mortified at being overheard. The instigator, Jenny, gave a tiny squeak of dismay and then hastily looked away, dropping her gaze to stare down at her toes.

Justin made a small noise in the back of his throat, but otherwise looked unrepentant. Steve had expected that.

Ashley averted her gaze and chewed on her bottom lip, and looked like she was on the verge of attempting an apology, but Steve just held up one hand, cutting it off.

He was damned sick of people thinking they had a right to his private life just because he was a public figure and was in no mood to listen.

"And since you obviously have the time to gossip; I'm obviously not working you hard enough."

All three heads popped up at that, and the recruits visibly cringed as they exchanged horrified looks with one another. He almost felt bad about it, but quickly quelled any sympathy because there was a lesson to be learned here. Yes, they were spies in training, but the other agents would not be nearly so kind or lenient as he if they were to learn that the new recruits were gossiping about such things.

Natasha alone would...well it was better they never find out.

"I'll have to rectify that," Steve continued without a drop of sympathy. "For today, lets start with an added five laps around the track, and then you can end that with an additional fifty each of push-ups, pull-ups and crunches."

All three groaned as he expected, but Steve just arched an inquisitive brow.

"You want to make it ten laps and a hundred of each?"

And it was amusing how quickly they shut up at that threat; all of them swallowing harshly at the thin smile stretched across his lips.

"Didn't think so," Steve said when they all shook their heads silently. "Next time, learn to mind your own business. Dismissed."

Eying each recruit with annoyance as they reluctantly ran off, Steve startled when Tony sat down on the table next to him, and subtly leaned into his arm.

"That was harsh," Tony commented conversationally, his hands in his pockets.

"They shouldn't be gossiping during training ops. Especially about...that."

"Well, they're not wrong," Tony smirked. And Steve turned and stared at his lover incredulously, something that seemed to confuse the other man; that is, until he remembered that Tony had only overheard the last part of the exchange, and wouldn't know about the Loki part of the equation.

But Steve was more than happy to illuminate him to his folly.

"So, you've been fucking Loki behind my back?" Steve snorted, wholly amused when Tony's face scrunched at that, his lips twisting as he spluttered in distaste.

"Ew, no! Really? They said that?" Tony asked, the disbelief evident in his gaze.

"They were discussing some story one of them read; an RPS that had you, me and Loki as the main pairing, whatever that means." Steve shrugged.

"RPS means real person slash, which is a fictional story about real life males in a relationship..."

"Yeah, I kind of figured that out given what they were saying," Steve said and he couldn't help grimacing himself at the idea of him, Tony and Loki doing anything together, let alone something that would be tantamount to rape.

"Pairing would refer to the main relationship of the story," Tony continued, still obviously unsettled by the topic. "Really? Loki? I mean, not that he isn't attractive aesthetically speaking, but he tries to destroy Earth on a near monthly basis. You have better taste than that; hell, I have better taste than that."

"I just don't understand people today," Steve lamented, shaking his head clear of the disturbing images the recruits had unwittingly implanted.

"Well, as I was saying earlier, you know before the Loki bit; they aren't wrong," Tony said, shooting him a wicked leer. "Not completely right either, but not wrong. We are hot together. And, you know, if they had mentioned Bucky instead..."

"Please don't give them any more fodder for gossip," Steve interrupted, shooting his smirking boyfriend a quelling look. "I swear it's like I'm in charge of a bunch of high school students as it is some days."

"I'm just saying, your bestie is hot." Tony held up his hands in mock surrender; and then paused to consider before saying. "And I wouldn't kick him out of our bed."

"Noted," Steve acknowledged.

And there was a thought. A very good thought, actually. And Steve barely repressed a shiver at the idea of him and Bucky tag teaming Tony, touching him, kissing him, holding him down and... Shivering in truth this time, Steve swiped a hand over his face and then huffed when Tony shot him an all too knowing glance. The genius thankfully remained silent however.

That scenario...might actually have some merit.

Steve wasn't blind. He'd been all too aware of the heated, longing looks between his best friend and his boyfriend; had seen the way they watched each other when they thought no one was looking. He didn't blame them. Not one bit seeing as he was hardly immune to their charms himself. Not to mention, back in the day, he and Bucky had fooled around on more than one occasion before Steve had met Peggy.

So, it was an intriguing thought.

"Maybe for your birthday."

"What? Really?" Tony spluttered, staring at Steve with wide eyes, his jaw slackening. "You know I was mostly joking, right? I mean, as I said, he's hot and if you ever wanted to, you know, you can totally count me in; but I'm pretty sure that you didn't do that kind of thing back in the day..."

"And what makes you think that?" Steve smirked.

Tony goggled at that, his eyes widening further; and Steve could help a soft chuckle at his dumbfounded expression.

"Honestly, you guys act like you invented sex or something. You do realize I was in the army, right? That I grew up in the Brooklyn slums? I walked past a known den of iniquity nearly every day on my way to school. Hell, Bucky Barnes is my best friend and he's hardly a saint."

"A den of iniquity, that is just so adorable," Tony teased as regained his composure, and then arched a bemused brow. "You are wrecking all of my illusions of you, Rogers."

"Pretty sure I already did that when I pinned you to your work table and fucked the snark out of you six months back."

"Point," Tony agreed, his Adam's apple bobbing as he swallowed, eyes glazing over at something only he could see; likely a mental re-enactment of said illusion-wrecking sex. "And that was truly a mind-shattering experience. Never expected that to happen, even in my wildest dreams."

"I got tired of waiting for you to catch a clue," Steve smirked, laughing internally at Tony's mock put upon frown, but the genius didn't protest.

Mostly because he couldn't. Tony had been unbelievably dense in regards to Steve's interest, and it had finally taken Steve kissing the life out of him during one of their arguments before Tony caught on. But once he had, well, Steve had no complaints.

"So, dinner tonight?" Tony asked, pulling Steve from his thoughts.

"Sounds good to me," Steve said, turning back to watch the recruits stumble through the last of their laps, making notes of weaknesses to address at a later date. "Nothing too fancy I hope. I could really go for a burger."

"Nah, I was in meetings all day; last thing I want to do is to run into those useless assholes in a social setting. I know just the place. Meet you at the Tower at seven?"

"Better make it eight. By the time I'm done here," Steve circled his fingers to encompass the training grounds, "and get cleaned up, it will be closer to that time."

"Sounds great," Tony said, running his thumb over the back of Steve's hand and then stood, casting a wry smile at the recruits. "I'd kiss you, but it would likely send the speculation clamoring to new heights."

"Yeah, please don't," Steve said, his eyes lighting on the, now, chastened gossipers once more. "I can barely tolerate this class as it is."

"Although..." Tony drawled, casting a coy glance through his lashes.

"Tony..." Steve groaned, shooting his devilishly smirking boyfriend a disapproving glance. But based on the glint in his eyes, Steve had a feeling it didn't do any good. Focusing on something he was more likely to influence his way, Steve turned back to the recruits and clapped his hands.

"Let's pick it up people! I don't have all day!"

Several groans reached Steve's ears and he didn't even attempt to hold back the vindictive edge in his smile as he informed them.

"And speaking of all day, guess what you've earned? That's right, a full-day training op starting bright and early at 06:00 tomorrow. I hear Black Widow is bored, and is looking for a new challenge. She might just show up if you're lucky. Or is that unlucky? I can never tell. Be sure to thank your gossiping classmates for that one. Maybe next time, you'll learn to keep your thoughts to yourself."

"You are a sadist," Tony smirked, and then paused to flick his eyes over Steve appreciatively. "Not gonna lie; I find it unbearably hot. I love it when you get all vengeful."

"Tony." Steve infused a note of warning into the name, knowing that nothing good would come from that particular gleam in his lover's eyes, but Tony was completely unfazed.

"Leaving," Tony grinned, waggling his fingers as he turned; and then just a Steve thought he was safe, Tony swung around dropped a quick kiss on his lips, whispering. "Later, lover boy."

Steve rolled his eyes at the small gasps around the room, and then glared halfheartedly at the other man. Tony just smiled unrepentantly. Fine, two could play that game.

Grabbing the back of his neck, Steve pulled Tony into searing kiss, smirking triumphantly when the genius made a sharp, surprised noise in the back of his throat.

"You'll pay for that later, Stark," Steve murmured as he released Tony, his smile growing at the other man's surprise.

Tony hadn't expected him to roll with it; had likely expected him to blush and stammer and try to explain his way out of it. But Steve had given up explaining himself a long time ago. It was no one's business anyway. So, instead, Steve just stared right back in challenge.

Tony, knowing he was beat, straightened, fondness in his gaze as he winked and strutted out the door with a jaunty salute in acknowledgement.

"Looking forward to it, Rogers."

Steve just smiled, and then turned back to his class, an unimpressed stare on his face when he noted that most had stopped their activities in favor of watching him and Tony.

"Would you like to add another day? I hear Hawkeye is coming back from Argentina soon. He's always looking for live bait for target practice."

AN: This is a work in progress collection that will be added to as I get prompts or find something that interests the muse.

The title comes from one of my favorite series names in another fandom. It fit the collection so well that I had to borrow it.