If you're reading this, thank you.

SM owns.

Chapter 43: Epilogue Part I

Present

Edward's POV

I step into the room like a scared cat. It's been too long since I've been in a dungeon. As the wall with the whips and canes comes into view, I can't deny I've missed it. The smell of leather in the air is enough to drive me crazy with anticipation. In my head, I can already see the possibilities.

My new relationship with Bella has been vanilla since the moment she decided to give me a second chance. However, there's no denying we're evolving, slowly but surely. And I have to admit, our passion has gotten the best of us at times, so there's always been something not-so-tame about our sex.

For the past nine months, we've devoted ourselves to being the best versions of ourselves we can be. Communication and respect have been key, as they should've been all along.

When she brought up the BDSM aspect during therapy, though, I was a bit surprised.

"I don't know if I was ever a true Dom," I told her. "I think I cut my training too short. And I was in a really bad mental place."

She held my hand and looked at me. "I believe you could be a great Dom."

So here I find myself, waiting for Mistress Irina, who's agreed to re-train me as a Dom. Our therapist thought having a female in charge of this task would make a difference. Maybe it will.

Mistress Irina is actually a friend of Emmett's new Domme, Carmen. Emmett has been with her for a few months, and he sounds happy. I'm glad he is because he deserves it.

I groan at my inner monologue. Our new therapist, Dr. Welsh, has a thing against those types of thoughts. She says I shouldn't be thinking about whether people deserve things or not, including myself. It's part of our conversations about us accepting nice things without questioning if we're worthy of them. Turns out, Bella has been struggling with the same issue, so we're working through it together.

"The beating hasn't started yet, and you're already groaning," Mistress Irina says, bringing me out of my head.

I smile. "My mind is excellent at beating myself up."

She shakes her head. "Get out of your mind before we start this. You won't be of any use to your sub if you're worried about yourself. When you start a session, the only and I repeat, the only priority is your sub."

"I understand."

"Good," she says. "Let's begin."

"How was it?" Bella asks me as soon as I get to her place. She's the first thing I see when I close the door, so it looks like she's been standing there, waiting. I'm sure she hasn't.

"It was okay," I say, frowning at the memory of Irina hitting me to test out some of the floggers.

Bella rolls her eyes and walks farther into the apartment. "Here we go."

"What?"

She shakes her head, making herself busy in the kitchen. The harsh sounds of pots and pans are a dead giveaway that she's mad.

I go stand behind her, annoyed. "Don't ignore me. Just tell me what the problem is."

She faces me. "It was 'okay,' you say with a frown on your face."

Touching my hair and taking a deep breath, I try to control the tone of my voice. "Come on, Bella. What do you want me to say? It was strange, I guess."

"And you couldn't have said that?"

"I didn't want to talk about it right this second. Jesus."

She doesn't respond right away. I leave her alone in the kitchen, angry that we seem to be arguing about something so idiotic. Again. For as much as we talk, our conversations aren't always on the easy-going side.

There's always a bit of scrutiny on both of our parts, always searching for a hidden meaning in everything we say.

It's stupid, considering how much we've said to each other in the past and how careful we've been with our hearts this time around.

I sigh, angry at myself for letting things get out of hand. Taking a calming breath, I walk back to the kitchen and stand behind her.

"I'm sorry for snapping at you," I say to her neck. "I was just avoiding thinking about it until I had to."

She relaxes against me before facing me.

"It's okay. I'm sorry for asking as soon as you walked in. I should've at least said hi first."

I smile. "Hi."

"Hey," she says and gives me a peck on the lips. "We can talk when you're ready."

"I'm going to continue with the training," I tell her. "It might take a while, but we'll get there. I promise."

It takes six more months of training before Bella kneels before me, waiting for her new collar.

Looking down at her, I admire the strength in her posture, the ease of her breathing. Aware of what this means to us, she gives me her calm as a reminder that she wants this.

There are no tense muscles in her body, and along with her forgiveness and her love, that's the biggest kindness she could ever show me.

Mistress Irina is there for our first session, acting as a witness of the most important moment in our relationship so far.

Breathing in deeply, I take the collar in my hands.

"Are you ready, love?" I ask, thankful and overwhelmed.

"Yes," she says.

This time, there are no games to be played, no hidden messages in my actions.

This time, when I snap closed the collar on her neck, I do it for the right reasons.

Mari and GeekChic thank you. I love you both.