Epilogue

"Hi, mom," I sit and smile down at her, "your grandson wanted to visit you today."

My little one and a half year old son looked down, mesmerized by what was going on. He knows his grandma is in Heaven and is looking down at him. And he also knows that he has three grandmas in his life... Julie Bolton, Elizabeth Montez and Monica Cruz.

Yes, Monica.

For the past eight years, she's been in my life and since three years ago, she is officially my step mom, so she's my son's grandma.

She is incredible with Noah. Her and my dad both are. They are the best grandparents a kid could have or ask for and I'm so lucky they love him the way they do. Along with Troy's parents, who constantly ask to watch him so we can have date night. And I'm so grateful for all of them, for the way they all love our son. I know they're always going to be there for him.

But I do wish my mom were here.

I wish she could meet him and take him to get ice cream even though I've said no. Just all the things a grandma would do with their grandchildren.

She's not here, though... physically. And everyday gets a little easier, but not a day goes by that I don't think about her. That I don't desperately wish she were still here. She missed all these great moments in my life and I so badly wish she were by my side to live them all with me.

"We have some news for you, don't we Noah?"

Noah giggled and squirmed in my lap a little bit before pushing himself off so he could stand next to me.

He wasn't fully talking yet, a couple things here and there, but I think he'll get there soon. He's a bright little boy who takes after his daddy.

I grabbed his hand so he wouldn't run off and then wrapped my arm around him as we both looked down. "It's a girl. We're having a little girl and we're so excited. We found out yesterday. She's healthy and expected to make her arrival into this world a few days shy of your birthday. So, we already know she's going to be a special little girl... because she'll be just like her grandma."

Noah Michael Bolton is what we named our son. Our first born child who is one and a half and the cutest little boy in the whole world.

"As soon as we found out it was a girl, we picked out a name," I continue, "Sarah. Sarah Elizabeth Bolton..."

Elizabeth Diane Montez was one of a kind and I hope my daughter will take after her. I hope she has the kindest heart just like my mom and the sweetest soul. It just wouldn't seem right not naming my child after my mom, who was the greatest. And I know she would be proud and happy about it.

Noah bent over and grabbed the single rose that my sister brought last time she was here.

But I quickly took it out of his hand. "Babe, no, there's thorns."

"Thasdsss," he so desperately tried to repeat the word, but it was no use.

"Yes," I laugh, humoring him and putting the rose back. "Did you tell grandma what your favorite color is?"

An immediate smile washed upon his face. A word he definitely knows is blue. And hearing this question makes him so happy because he gets to proudly say it. Over and over and over. "Blueeeee! Blue! Blue!"

I laughed as I grabbed him and sat him back in my lap. We could only stay for a little bit since we have to pick Maddie up from her friends house and then everyone is getting together. I still have to go to the store, too. But Noah pointed to a picture of my mom today and in his baby language told me he wanted to visit her so here we are... which is perfect because I wanted to tell her that we were having a girl.

"Life's great, mom," I smile down at her.

It's better than I could have even imagined and I'm sure she knows that. I know she's watching me from above.

But I love talking to her, still. About everything. "I have the most perfect husband. The best dad. The best friend. The best partner. My friends are still all there. And Jess and I are closer than ever. She and Andrew are celebrating three years tomorrow and I think he's planning on proposing, but that's just between you and I for now because I don't wanna say anything to anyone and have it be wrong. Embarrassing. Ha. Monica and dad seem happy and I do really love her. She's no you, obviously, but she's great. And Maddie. Maddie's 13 and I can't believe I've watched her grow up. She's great. The best little sister. Always wanting to help with Noah whenever she can..."

I stopped talking for a minute as Noah got up from my lap and walked around to the other side of her grave, looking straight at me.

God, he was precious. He had dark hair and blue eyes, just like his daddy. He's a mini Troy and I'm not complaining at all. He has my nose, though.

"Come here," I tell him, extending my arm for him to grab, which he does as he walks back around. He's a really good listener, which makes me one happy mama. "I'm almost done talking to grandma, okay? And then we can go pick Maddie up."

He knows exactly what that means and he could not be more excited for it. He loves Maddie. He loves people.

And I love him.

"Anyway," I continue talking to her, "my little family and I are great. Sometimes, I just sit and watch Troy and Noah and I can't believe this is my life. I have a husband and a kid and one on the way and I'm only 27 and I'm so happy. And I think I'll be happy forever with this family of mine. You know, the other day I was telling Troy how losing you was the worst thing I've ever gone through. But if that didn't happen, Monica wouldn't exist and that wouldn't have led me to Troy... who is my soul mate. I know he is. And so... I think there's good in goodbye sometimes. The good that came out of saying goodbye to you was meeting him, falling so deeply in love, getting married, and having kids. But I still wish you were here. I know you're watching from above, though, and are smiling down at everyone, happy for me and everyone else. I know we all miss you and we all love you very much. I love you very much."

"Mama," Noah looks up at me, "I hungry."

"Okay, let's go," I laugh at him. He's always hungry.

We get up, I grab his hand as I look down at my mom one last time and then walk away to our car.

I had not visited my mom in a couple of months, which is a little weird since I made it a point later on to always visit. But I hadn't so I wanted to update her a bit. And just in the last month alone, I felt like everything was perfect. Like everything in my life could not be better and I could not be happier about it.

And I can't see where life takes us when we have two children.

I'm so excited.

"Do you want some artichoke?"

"Bleh," I put my hand up to stop it from coming any closer to me, "sorry, one of those foods that I'm not digging right now."

Monica laughed, backing up and walking over to Maddie to ask if she wanted some. She didn't. For entirely different reasons, though. My dad took some, though. Enough for the both of us. And Troy took some as well. Bleh. So gross.

As soon as she was going to sit down, the door bell rang so she went to get it even though we're at my house. She knew I wouldn't want to get up. Ha.

And a moment later, my in laws were walking into the dining room. My mother in law with a pie in her hand.

Julie Bolton's famous cream cheese pie. Ahhh, my favorite!

"Hi, mom," Troy gets up and gives her a hug and the goes and gives his dad one as well.

"Hi," I attempt to get up, but she quickly puts her hand on my shoulder and tells me not to get up, that it's fine where I am.

"You're creating a life," she says, giving me a kiss on the head and she firmly holds onto the pie. She sets it down in the middle of the table where there's room and then looks back at me. "Everyone should come to you and you should not lift a finger for the next five months of your life, okay?"

I laugh. She's the best. She really is. Her and Jack. I really lucked out in the in laws department.

They both took a seat around the table, next to Claire, who couldn't wait and was already digging into her mashed potatoes which made me happy because I'm the one who made them and it seems like she likes them... a lot.

Once everyone was settled, we all grabbed one another's hand and Julie led a prayer. It's my favorite part of dinner. Saying a prayer with my family.

"Okay, everyone, dig in," Monica claps her hands lightly together, "I hope the ribs are flavorful enough. I only had one bottle and didn't have time to run to the store and grab another one."

"I'm sure they are," Jack was already ready to bite into one.

"Yeah, Mon, they're always good," Julie agreed.

It was Sunday night in the Bolton household which meant family dinner. It was a tradition started the year Troy and I got engaged. We'd obviously all get together all the time and BBQ or hang out, but that was always randomly and didn't have a set schedule. This does. Sunday nights. Family night. We eat and talk. And laugh. Every Sunday night. Usually no one misses, but occasionally some people have to which is okay. And we all take turns hosting and cooking. Whoever hosts usually cooks the main meal and the rest bring a side dish or dessert. And today, we're hosting, but we didn't make the meal. Monica did. She insisted. She knew I had things to do so she took it upon herself to make it. I made the mashed potatoes and the corn. But she made the ribs and brought them over. Along with the artichokes. And they are so delicious. The ribs, not the artichokes. Still bleh.

It's one of my favorite things she makes and I am so glad she made them tonight.

"What are you guys whispering about?" My dad asks Jess and Claire who were only focused on each other.

"Nothing," they immediately say.

But I know exactly what they're talking about.

In about an hour, Claire's boyfriend of 4 years is going to come over and they're going to announce that they're engaged and Julie and Monica are going to cry, Maddie will be super excited and Jack will stand there, doing nothing because he knows since he asked for her hand in marriage. She told Troy and me the minute she got here, sliding her ring off and putting it in her pocket.

They laughed it off and continued eating and I just chuckled to myself since I knew what it's about.

"Bweaaad," Noah says, reaching for a Hawaiian roll in the middle of the table, "bwead, dadda. Dadda, bwead!"

"Last one, okay?" Troy grabs him one and puts it on his plate.

Noah frowns a bit, but it disappears the second he bites into the bread. That kid loves carbs. Just like his daddy, of course.

All of a sudden, Claire sets her fork down pretty loudly and looks around at everyone. "Oh my gosh, you guys! I forgot to tell you all about my interview on Friday! I'm pretty sure you're looking at the newest member of the E! News family. They loved me! And I'm not just guessing. She literally told me she loves me and she'll be in contact next week. And I've never been that person to assume, but I think it's safe to with this... I'm almost positive I got the job."

"What!?" Julia sets her fork down and grabs her arm, "why didn't you tell me sooner!? Congrats honey! That's so great. I'm SO proud!"

"Yeah, that's great! We're so happy for you!" is what pretty much everyone else said.

"Thank you, thank you," she clapped her hands together, "I'm so excited just thinking about it. Going to movie premiers, interviewing my favorite celebrities. It all sounds so fabulous, which I'm sure it's not, but it's my dream job."

And it's perfectly suited for her because she's kind, she's bubbly and she can keep a conversation going.

I'm so happy for her.

"Adding on to some good news..." Troy starts saying before he looks over at me, for permission I think so I nod my head even though he's already started telling them. It's not like he can just stop now. "We found out we're having a little girl."

Everyone immediately cheered and were extending their arms for us to grab. They were SO excited. Almost as excited as we were.

Monica laughed and shook her head a bit, "didn't I tell you? I told you! And you thought you were having another boy. That would have been great, two little boys, but oh my gosh, a little girl..."

"I know, we're so happy," I smile at Troy as he smiles back.

"Have you guys decided on a name?" Maddie asks, grabbing some more mashed potatoes from the center of the table.

I look over at Troy and it's to the point where we can communicate with our eyes to each other, which I love. So I know if we wanna tell them yet or not. And he doesn't care if we do, so I don't care, either. I know I'm in my second trimester, but I still get worried talking about it too much and then something this is my family. I want to share everything with them.

So, I do. "Sarah Elizabeth Bolton."

"Oh my gosh," Julie puts her hand over her heart," Sarah... I love that name. And Elizabeth, well, obviously. Both so beautiful."

"Yeah," my dad agrees, "she would have loved that."

I know she would have.

After a little more baby talk, everyone focused on eating and talking more about Claire and her soon to be new job. Jack started talking about golf with Troy while Julie and Jess had a conversation over them talking about school or something. There were so many conversations going on.

Maddie and Noah were busy laughing with each other, which was so cute to see.

And I sat here, just taking a look around at everyone. My family.

My dad, who is my rock. I've learned to appreciate him the most in life. He is why I am here today and I am so, so thankful for him. I know will always be there for me, one hundred percent. He has supported and loved me through everything I did and will continue to do so. He is my inspiration now and forever and I'm so blessed to have him as my dad. And my children are so lucky to have him as well.

Monica. My step mom. And friend. Who I really do love. I love her and her kind heart. And even though she's not my mom, she's the best alternative. She's always there for whatever I need and is always willing to help. I know we didn't start off on the right foot, but things are great. I'm so happy she's in my life.

Madeline. The sweetest sister. I don't like calling her my step sister because she feels like a real sister. I've known her since she was 5 years old and now she's a teenager now and is just... so cool. So bright. And so kindhearted. She never makes a fuss about anything and is seriously the one of the best girls I've ever known. I love her so much and I can't wait to see the woman she's going to become one day.

Jessica. My best friend. The best sister a girl could ask for. The one girl I know will always have my back, now and forever. She's the best aunt to Noah, the best sister to me and I can't thank God enough for placing her in my life. We're as close as sister's could be and I love her with my whole heart. I really could say so many great things, but the most important thing you should know is just that I love her so much and I'm so thankful she's my sister.

Claire. Another sister of mine. Sister in law. But I feel so close to her. Like with my own sister, I know she'll always have my back and she's always in mine and Troy's corner. She's the best aunt to Noah and I know she'll be the best aunt to Sarah. She's one of the funniest people I know and one of the few I know who can get me out of a terrible mood and I love her for that. I love how genuine she is and kind and thoughtful.

Jack. Another person I can call dad. He's so awesome. He's the best grandpa and father in law. He's welcomed me into his family with opened arms and wants nothing but the best for me and his son. I know he'll always be there for me just like my dad. Except he's funnier. Way funnier.

Julie. Julie. Julie. Oh man. I lost my mom, but I definitely gained one in her. And as far as mother in laws are concerned, I won the jackpot. Seriously. When Troy and I were in our first year of dating, she could not have been more supportive. She took the time to get to know me and didn't constantly have an eye on me like most mothers do for their sons, waiting for the girlfriend to mess up, watching my every move so I wouldn't hurt him. No. She was the sweetest, most supporting, loving person. And she still is. I know that if I'm having a horrible day, I can cry to her at 2 in the morning over the phone. Or show up at her house if I want her chocolate chip cookies and she'll be there to make them in a heartbeat. I love that she genuinely loves me because of me and not just because I'm Troy's wife. And it's always been that way. And it will always be that way. She's the best grandma and the best mom a girl could have.

And then there are my two boys, the ones I love more than anything in this world.

My sweet Noah, who I could not be more proud of. My first born. My baby. The one who taught me how to love someone unconditionally. He's the sweetest little boy and is so polite and happy and that's all I could ever ask for in a child. He listens, he wants to make us happy, he loves us just as much as we love him and that warms my heart completely. I could just melt into a puddle of tears thinking about how much I love him.

Troy.

Last, but not least, Troy. My husband. My best friend. My partner in crime. My soul mate.

If someone at the beginning of high school told me that I would meet my husband at the end of it, when I'd be just 18, I would not believe them. I would think it's crazy. How could you possibly find the person who you want to spend the rest of your life with at 18 years old? There are SO many people out there that you haven't yet met or gotten the opportunity to meet yet.

Yet, there I was, turning 19 years old, falling head over heels for him. And I haven't stopped since then. I'm still falling. And I'll continue to fall.

I knew I didn't have to meet other guys in college. I knew that I wasn't missing out on anything. Troy was the one for me and he always will be the one.

He's the one who will drive around with me while we listen to our favorite songs and rock out in the car. Who will get a double scoop of red velvet ice cream with me and take a walk around Beverly Hills. Who will hold my hair up while I vomit from morning sickness. Who will stay up with me all night if I can't sleep to talk to me, to watch a movie with me. Who comes home every day to me after work and tells me he missed me. Who looks into my eyes like I'm the only woman in the world. Who will make me breakfast. Who will give me a foot rub if he thinks I need one. Who's there to tell me when I'm being an idiot or when he's so unbelievably proud of me. Who's always letting me know how much he loves me. And showing it to me.

Who promised to love me forever and is doing exactly that.

He is my rock. He is my everything. And I'm so blessed that he's my husband and I get to be a parent right alongside him.

"Hey, you okay?"

"What?" I look up at Troy, who has a worried look on his face, "yeah, I'm fine."

"You sure?" He asks, as everyone's still in their own little conversations, "you were spacing out."

I'm more than fine. I have a healthy baby boy, a healthy baby girl on the way, a husband who I love more than anything, and family members who are the best people. Life couldn't be better. Honestly. I'm living the best life and I thank God everyday that this is the way I'm living it. And for the people in it.

"Everything's great," I turn to him, grabbing his hand, "I love you."

"And I love you," he smiles at me.

Like, I told my mom earlier... sometimes there is good in goodbye and all the people sitting at the table that weren't in my life 8 years ago are proof of that.

Everything is absolutely, one hundred percent great.