Hellooo 8D!

Just as a headsup, this is not a Zoro x Sanji fic…In fact, the story has a little Zorobin. BUT YES, THOUGHT I'D POINT THIS OUT BEFORE YOU STARTED READING. Oh and, it's rated T for the language. Just in case, y'know.

This will be approximately 2-3 chapters long (or short) HAHAHAHAHA . haha...

I don't own the display picture.

Zoro gave his hair a harsh ruffle as he paced back and forth in front of the men's quarters. He glanced around the deck before shoving the door open and walking in. He could already feel blood rushing to his frowning face. He heard soft movements coming from a few of his sleeping nakama, so, as quietly as he could, Zoro made his way to Sanji's hammock. He gave his rival a few slaps on the face.

The cook muttered incomprehensible curses before looking up at the source of slaps.

"Ehhh, Zoro you asshole, do you realize it's still four in the fucking morning?" Sanji inquired irritably. Nonetheless, he sat up in his hammock, padding down his messy hair.

"Cut the complaints, you shitty excuse of a cook," Zoro shot back as he fiddled with his swords, already regretting what he was about to do. He made eye contact with Sanji before walking out the men's quarters. The cook got the message and followed him out.

Taking out his morning cigarette, Sanji leaned on the mast. "I wanna get more sleep, marimo. Don't stall, what is it?"

Zoro gritted his teeth, a few sweat drops running down his face.

"You, uh…" he began, "You can dance, swirly-cook, can't you?"

The mere moment of silence felt like a millennia to the swordsman, who already felt embarrassed enough to be doing this. The cook's confused expression made Zoro's patience quiver.

"For the love of God, don't make this harder on me," Zoro shot at him, who was more than obviously surprised at his nakama's question.

"What, you want lessons?" Sanji asked, giving a short, sarcastic laugh.

The swordsman didn't respond. Immediately, Sanji's cigarette dropped onto the deck. He gave Zoro a bemused look.

"Holly mother of nature, you want me to give you lessons?!" he repeated.

Zoro couldn't for the life of him look at Sanji in the face. The cook was so shocked he couldn't even allow himself to break into a fit of laughs.

"Wait…you mean…for the dance party Luffy thought would be fun to have?" Sanji asked.

The swordsman kept shifting his eyes.

"Who?" the cook asked. Zoro could barely contain the awkward aura that now filled the air.

However, he refused to answer.

"If you don't tell me who you're doing this for, you can guarantee you won't be getting any damn lesson from me."

Zoro's voice was tiny."Robin."

The cook leaned in. "Eh? Who?"

"FOR THAT DAMN WOMAN, OKAY?" Zoro snapped. Sanji's eyes widened.

"Man, if you'd been doing this for Nami, I would've busted your ass," Sanji replied as he bent down to retrieve his cigarette.

He shot Zoro a playful grin.

"I'll teach you. But in return, you had better do your best to give her the dance of a life time. We got a deal?"

"Tch…" Zoro muttered, heading towards the crow's nest. He could feel a smile tugging at his lips. "Deal."

Sanji took off his blazer and rolled up his sleeves. Placing his hands on his waist Nami-style, he examined Zoro.

"What you're wearing won't do, idiot," he said. "Hurry up and change. We don't have much time, they could be back from shopping any minute."

Zoro refused, and Sanji had to, much to his dismay, work with Zoro wearing that annoyingly long jacket of his. With a sigh, he offered his hand to the swordsman.

"Oi, oi…we have to…make physical contact for you to teach me?!" Zoro asked in disgust.

"Then who are you gonna dance with, a blazing manikin?!" Sanji snapped. The swordsman cringed. It seemed as though he was thinking of backing out, as he had taken a few steps away from the cook. However the part of him that wanted to do this for Robin won and he ended up accepting Sanji's hand.

"Come on, marimo, put your hand on my waist," Sanji instructed, placing his hand on Zoro's shoulder. It took about five full minutes for Zoro to actually do that after he threw a fit concerning how Guys should never be in that kind of position. It's a disgrace.

"Well sorry to break it to you, but you're gonna have to put up with it," the cook said. He looked down at his feet. "Alright. When I take a step back, you take a step front. Easy peasy."

When Sanji took a step back, Zoro took a step to the right. The cook raised an eyebrow.

"Oi, I said you take a step to the front."

Zoro took a step to the left.

"Are you messing with me?!" Sanji raged. "I said to the damn FRONT!"

"Your instructions are hella confusing!" Zoro yelled back. The cook took a deep breath before pointing at the ground.

"You foot is there," he said, pointing at Zoro's foot. "You want to bring it here. Capisce?!"

"You should've said so from the beginning!" Zoro argued, placing his foot in the right place. It took the highest limit of Sanji's patience to stay calm.

"Now you do the same move with your other foot. Understand? Or do you want me to repeat the instructions so that little brain of yours could comprehend it?"

"Acting like I'm a damn one year old isn't gonna do either of us any good, love machine."

The rest of their lesson carried on with impatient comments, irritable yelling, and way too much" stepping-on-each other's-feet". They had set up music to help with the lessons, however, that had its consequences.

They didn't hear someone approaching the crow's nest, where they were holding their lesson. The door swung open and in came a bewildered Nami. The sight she was beholding was both completely horrifying and utterly hilarious.

After all, a scene of their terrifying swordsman placing his hand on his rival's waist was quite humorous.

"Oi, Zoro, stop stepping on my foot!" Sanji snapped.

"If you gave better lessons, you wouldn't have to deal with my foot!" Zoro yelled. As they did a very unprofessional twirl, Sanji noticed Nami by the door, the most amused expression etched on her face. He could feel his face burning up. Immediately he gave Zoro a panicked look before they broke apart.

"Nami-san! Welcome back!" Sanji greeted, though his voice showed a hint of nervousness. "You're back…early!"

"Aha, thanks, Sanji-kun. So tell me, what were you two doing?" she inquired, a wicked glint in her eye. The dance partners exchanged suspicious glances before turning back to Nami.

"Is this what you two always do when you're left alone on the ship?" she asked, the innocence in her voice sending chills down their spines.

With a heavy sigh, Zoro made his way to the navigator and led her to the middle of the room.

"Is anyone else back?" he asked. Nami shook her head.

"Nah, I came back early to finish up a map. So much for that."

"Lemme guess. If we don't tell you what we were doing, you're gonna raise my debt?" Zoro said irritably.

"Pretty much. Good job, Zoro! You know your place well," Nami replied proudly.

Zoro looked back to Sanji. "Ehh. Ero-cook is teaching me… how to dance."

Nami blinked a few times before rolling her eyes. "Funny. Now, what's the real reason?"

"I'm teaching marimo how to dance, Nami-san," Sanji repeated, the seriousness in his usually bubbly tone making her believe his words.

Her laugh reached the heavens. Zoro gritted his teeth.

"H-H-Hold on…" she said, struggling to catch her breath. "Why?!"

"You usually have it your way, but I swear to God if you don't stop that laughing of yours…" Zoro warned. Nami waved her hand.

"Okay, okay!" she surrendered. With a contented sigh, she tilted her head.

"Ah well, I assume you don't want me to tell everyone else, right?" she asked.

"I'm not giving you any more of my money, Nami," Zoro groaned.

"Don't worry about that. I actually have an idea who you're doing this for, so for that sake, I'll keep my mouth shut," Nami told him, smiling as she noticed his ears turning pink. With a wave of her hand, she turned to the door.

"Have fun, you two!" she said. "If you need any girl advice, I can help. And for God's sake, if you don't want people catching you, turn down that stupid music!"

By far, I think this is the weirdest thing I've written.