Is it bad that I don't feel that bad that Thea's dead? Because I'm like "Wow, Oliver's really gonna have to agree with Ra's al Ghul to get his hands on the Lazarus Pit"

Moving on, just a little something that popped into my mind after watching the episode.

When Roy left, Felicity saw the look on Oliver's face. And she knew he still couldn't believe that there were people beside him willing to help him. She would admit that she wasn't thinking properly when she wrapped her hands around his arm and rested her chin on his shoulder.

You know, sometimes you just focus on the people you love, you forget that there are people who love you.

It wasn't until she sat beside Ray who was driving silently did she realize how heavy her words were. Love. Of course, she loved him. As a friend. Just as she loves Diggle and Roy and Laurel. But love was such an ambiguous term and it just wasn't about romance. She looked out the window were the buildings were lit up by the city lights. She tried so hard to focus on other things, other than that. But, yes, love was still romance, and she didn't think she was ready to answer the question about Oliver Queen, especially when Ray Palmer was sitting beside her. She wanted to bury her face in her hands and just cry her eyes out because how could her life be so complicated?

Just then her phone chimed and she frowned at the caller ID. It was Diggle. They were just together minutes ago. What could it be?

The phone slipped out of her hand and her lips trembled as she struggled to find her voice. It took every ounce of strength to place her hand on Ray's arm and tell him to turn around before the tears came rolling down her cheeks.

Thea Queen was dead.

She was sprawled on the floor full of shattered glass and blood. There was tons of blood on her stomach and a wound so big Felicity knew it wasn't just a wound. The scene played in her mind as a sword was pierced through Thea's body. It made her sick and it made her even more sick when her mind conjured up an image of what she imagined Ra's al Ghul would look like.

Of course. There would only be one person who would be able to do that. A sob escaped her lips as her knees almost buckled under her. Then she felt a hand slipping into hers. She looked up into the dark eyes of Ray Palmer, giving her a reassuring look, telling her that he was there.

The tears were streaming down her cheeks now as everything suddenly dropped down on her. Thea was dead. Roy was gone. The Arrow was gone. The whole city was in chaos. And a midst all the chaos she just needed to cry out all the frustrations overwhelming her mind.

She buried her face into the shirt of Ray and her body shook as the tears kept streaming down her eyes. The tears wouldn't stop, but when she finally calmed down from the emotional roller coaster she'd just been on, she pulled away. Her eyes immediately fell on his back.

Felicity would be honest. She expected Oliver to lash out. She expected him to blow a hole through the wall. Or punch the floor until both his knuckles bled. Or shout out in anger until his vocal chords swelled. Or work the hell out of his body until blood just spilled out of his pores.

She definitely didn't see this coming. A silent Oliver Queen, standing in front of the fireplace, staring at the bloodied body of Thea Queen. And Felicity never thought that the silence could get any deadlier.

For minutes, she could only stare at his body as if he was frozen in time. It wasn't until Ray gave her hand a squeeze, a small nod, and a gentle push towards his way when she realized that he needed someone right now.

She walked up to him and held his hand. He didn't move a single inch. She pursed her lips. Words wouldn't do any good this time. She slowly reached to cup his cheek and gently guide his face so that he was facing her. He was looking at her, right past her. He was looking at nothing, at the distance.

They remained that way with her hand holding tightly onto his, her other hand softly stroking his cheek, his eyes looking into oblivion. A gasp escaped her lips when he finally looked at her, his blue eyes landing on her face. God, the tears were coming back because his face looked so blank, but his eyes. His goddamn eyes were so sad. So lonely. So broken

"Oliver..." His name rolling off her lips in a whisper. She squeezed his hand, trying to tell him that he wasn't alone. He just stared at her blankly and it pained her because this wasn't the Oliver she knew. Because somehow there was always this fire in his eyes and now all she saw was nothing.

She cupped the back of his neck and pulled him towards her, pulling him into a hug. And she couldn't help but breathe out a sigh when she felt his arms snaking around her waist. "Oliver..." There was really nothing she could say. His name just felt so light under her tongue, full of worry and concern.

"Thea's dead." he simply said as he buried his head deeper into her neck, now wet with his tears. "She's dead. Mom's dead. So is Dad. Sarah too."

Tears stung her eyes as she hugged him tighter, pressing him closer to her, closing her eyes to keep the tears from streaming out of her eyes. He was crying. He was the one broken this time. She couldn't afford to also feel broken inside because there had to be someone who would take care of the other. Because she was his...

She knew him enough to know what he was feeling right now. And hell, she was so stupid. She remembered the anger she felt when he agreed to Malcolm Merlyn's offer to train him. She remembered she wanted to hate him with all her heart. And, god, she was just so selfish for thinking of her pride that she forgot the reason behind his decision.

She promised herself a long time ago when he invited her into the team that she would always be there no matter what. She failed him. That one time. The hurt on his face. The unshed tears in his eyes. The unspoken words upon his lips. Damn, she hated herself for being so careless. It was a time he needed her and she just wasn't there at all. She left him.

Guilt ate her away as her shirt got wet from his tears. Yet he was always there for her. He always cared for her. Her always loved her. And what was she doing? Shutting him down and turning to another guy. It was just too much for her. She thought she was doing him a favor when she decided to open her heart to someone else. But she was so blind to see that he was just as oblivious to the pain he was feeling.

Not anymore. She would not leave him. Never. Whatever happened. Whatever he decided. Wherever he went. She would always be by his side. No matter what. Because she was wrong to say Oliver Queen was her friend. He was hers. Just hers. Forever in her heart.

"Oliver, you're not alone." she whispered into his ear. "I'm here. You're not alone." She felt him relax into her arms as the tears continued to wet her neck and shirt.

Diggle sent Ray home, leaving the two of them alone. Her heart clenched in sadness, but the tears were gone. She held him tighter, giving him soft whispers of comfort.

Her words were laced with an unspoken promise to herself and to him that she would never leave him, that she would take care of him, that she would stay strong for him. For him.

I'll be honest this is somewhat an outlet for my frustrations on Felicity's behavior when Oliver came back from the dead. Like I understand Roy or Laurel being against Merlyn and Diggle being calm and composed with his own decision. But I really didn't expect Felicity to be that inconsiderate of Oliver like, come one, guys, he just came back from a near death experience (like major real death experience)

Anyway, I should stop ranting. Tell me what you think? And anyone a fan of OUAT here? I'm thinking about an Arrow-OUAT crossover about Olicity and CS.