How I Met Jane Eyre

Chapter 1 – My Children

I was in the study, looking out the window at the softly falling snow as best I could out of my one good eye and twining my fingers around the stump where my left hand used to be. My two children, Eddie, who was eighteen and was at college, and Janet, who was in her final year at school, were both coming home for Christmas. Janet had written to me and her mother two weeks prior to tell us that they had written to each other, and said that they would meet each other in Millcote before coming home to us at Ferndean.

As I waited for my children to come home, I thought of all the good that had befallen me ever since the day I me their mother. My hope, my light, my love, my angel, my reason for living, my –

Just then, a knock on the door startled me out of my thoughts. I jumped slightly before I turned around and called, "Enter!"

The door opened and in came Mary, one of the few servants I had allowed to stay on with me after my old house, Thornfield, was destroyed. "What is it, Mary?" I asked of her.

"I've just come to inform you, sir, that John's just come back with the carriage," she said. "Your children have returned for the holidays."

I allowed my smile to broaden ever so slightly, before I told her, "Good. Tell them to come straight here and shut the door on your way out. Thank you, Mary." She curtsied and thus left me, shutting the door softly as she left.

I moved over to the fire and turned my back to it, waiting for the sound of my children's footsteps to approach. I wasn't kept long waiting, for not a minute later, I heard soft footsteps running, but stopped just short of the door as three soft raps occurred on the door. I could hardly refrain from keeping the grin on my face as I said, "Come in!" The door opened, and in bounded Janet, who glanced around with a smile on her face, and when she saw me, it grew even wider, with light shining from her eyes in pure happiness (so like her mother's), before she yelled "Papa!" and ran towards me, throwing her arms around me. My smile grew wider as she ran, and when she threw her arms around my neck, she took the wind out of me slightly, and I stumbled backwards a little, but I quickly regained my footing and embraced her tightly. As she stepped out of my arms, she stepped aside so I could see my son, who greeted me with a big grin and stepped into my arms quickly after his sister had left them.

"Hello, Papa," he greeted me warmly, as we embraced.

"Eddie," I simply said, patting him on the back a few times before letting him out of my arms. The boy resembled me greatly, from the shock of black as pitch hair, to the same square forehead, to the same large, brilliant black eyes (as their mother calls them). We were even the same height as each other.

Janet, on the other hand, resembled her mother, although she was slightly taller than her and a bit more rounded around the middle than when we first met each other. She had the same beautiful, long hazelnut hair and the same radiant hazel eyes (I know that they're green, but sometimes when they hit the light just so, they become new died to me).

Before I press on, I have to say that both their mother and I are extremely proud of our children. We have raised them well and have given them the same amount of love and kindness that we can bestow upon them, which is more than I can say from where me and their mother are standing; for when we were young, our childhoods' were not happy ones, to tell you the truth. We never shut them out, or made them feel like they were unwanted or unloved. Their mother has been a great mother to them, teaching them well before they were old enough to go to school. We have both taught Eddie and Janet to respect and treat others equally, no matter what a person's background is, nor where they stand in society.

When Eddie was seated next to his sister on the sofa by the fire, I asked them both how school and college was going for them, which they replied they were both doing well in. Janet was becoming a profound scholar, and was doing extremely well in her artwork; whereas Eddie was doing well in his medical studies. Me and Eddie had talked about what he would like to study after he left school, and he always said that he would like to help those who were in desperate need of medical attention as best he could. I told him that the work would be hard, but he said that he didn't mind, because he knew that it would be worth it in the end, even though he knew that he couldn't keep every soul on Earth forever, he would do the best job he could. (To be honest, I was worried that he would join the church, for his mother is deeply religious, whereas I am not so much. I have changed a bit, don't get me wrong, but, well, we all know what they say about old habits?) I was extremely proud of him, as was his mother when I told her that very night. Indeed, she told him so the next morning over breakfast, and we have never gone back on those words since.

As I stood remembering this, I slowly became aware that there was a buzz of excitement issuing between my children. As I looked at them out of the corner of my good eye, my suspicions were confirmed, for I saw them muttering and shifting their eyes in my direction every so often. After a few more minutes of this, I let my curiosity take hold of me, and yelled, "All right, you two! Enough of this, now!" They both jumped in their seats at this and looked at me as thought they were seeing me properly for the first time.

"W-what do you mean, Father?" Janet asked me in a false innocent voice with a smile to match, as Eddie carefully avoided my eyes, whilst shuffling his feet nervously. I smiled grimly at the pair of them and gave a slight chuckle. They should both know by now that they could not pull the wool over my eyes.

"Don't give me that, Janet!" I barked at her, as the previous thought went through my mind. To my satisfaction, I saw my children flinch slightly and looked at me through anxious eyes. "You should both know by now that nothing gets past your father's eyes that easily."

Yet again, they both looked apologetic at me, mixed in with apologetic glances. When I saw this , I was inwardly apologetic towards them, but I knew that I would have to keep up this façade just a little while longer, like I had done when I first proposed to their mother, which we will cover much later on.

After a few more minutes of anxious glances between Eddie and Janet – not to mention, a fair amount of tension buzzing in the air – I saw Janet breathe a deep anxious sigh before she said, "We're sorry, Father. We didn't mean any harm by it." I felt pride in my heart as she said this, for she reminded me of her mother; for I felt and heard honesty as she said this. Some sort of softness must have shown on my face as this was going through me, for she continued with obvious relief and slightly more confidence, "It's just that when we were coming home, me and Eddie were wanting to ask you something …" she then hesitated and shared a few more anxious glances with her brother, as though they were both scared as to how I would react. My curiosity was further spiked by this point, so I said slowly, "Go on …" Janet gulped and said, "Well … we – meaning Eddie and I - would like to ask you to …" she took a hasty breath "… to …"

I was getting rather impatient by this point, so I said, "For God's sake, Janet, just spit it out!"

She and Eddie both jumped again at my outburst, before she sighed and said, "We want to know how you met Mama."

I inwardly sighed a sigh of relief as I chuckled. This was what she was worried about? I looked at her and Eddie gently, relieved that all the anxiety was now gone from their faces, and I could see that they were equally relieved that I was not glaring at them anymore, as I said, "My dears, I have already told you countless times as to how I met her. After all, didn't I say that that I thought that she was an elf of some kind the day she –"

"Papa," Eddie interrupted, and we looked at each other in surprise. It was the first time that he had spoken to me since we had talked about his medical studies. I gave him a look of full surprise as he glanced at me nervously, before he turned to his sister for encouragement, who thus nodded and smiled at him gently as a way to go on, before he turned his attention back to me. I nodded at him to continue after a few moments. He smiled weakly before saying, "It's just that … well … we know the story of the horse well, but surely there must be more before that meeting, and –" something must have shown in my face, for he paused and bent his head. Truth be told, I was nervous, for I knew where this was heading. I knew that she and all my other troubles with women would come up before I met my angel, but I still wasn't sure about whether I should tell them of what happened fifteen years before I met their mother. I know they deserved to know the truth, but I was worried about what they'd think of me. After all, I am their father, and I knew that I owed them the truth (for they are old enough now to know), but I didn't want them to know about all my past experiences with women. Besides that, I was also concerned that they would think differently of me if I did. As I was deliberating what I should do in my head, an angel, in the shape of my daughter approached me cautiously. I looked at her with some apprehension before I gave her a chance to speak.

Once again, she sighed deeply before she said, "Papa, we know you don't want us to know about all of your past before you met Mama, and we understand that you're ashamed about some of the stuff you did –" it was amazed me how much understanding she had, young as she was, another quality she had gained from her mother " – but just try and leave out the rather – how should I put this? – explicit details, then we'll be fine with that. We just want to know the full story that led to that horse falling incident and beyond –"

"Wait a minute," I interrupted suddenly. "I never told you what happened beyond that fatal moment between me and your mother?" As my daughter and son both shook their heads, I was surprised, for I thought I had told them everything. But then I remembered that Janet wasn't finished yet. "Sorry, Janet," I said to her. "Please continue."

Janet smiled at me sympathetically, and touched my arm as such too, before she said, "We just want you to be honest with us, Father. After all, you're the one who's always telling us not to keep secrets from one another. And besides, you're our father. We know you've made mistakes, but you're better now than you were back then, and we'll still love you, no matter what the truth is. So please, Papa? Please will you tell us?" she finished with a pleading look in her eyes.

As I looked from her to Eddie, I realized that my daughter was right. I did owe my children the truth. So I sighed deeply before I nodded and said, "You're right, Janet. I do owe you and your brother the truth." Janet then shot me a smile full of warmth, love and gratitude which shone from her eyes, before she turned and sat back down by her brother.

I gave another sigh before I sat across from them in my chair. I gazed at both of them, worried and anxious about what they were going to say as I told them my story, but to my immense relief at that moment, they were both looking at me patiently, as if they were willing for me to start, but also with the knowledge that this was going to be difficult for me to tell them this; and I was once again grateful to their mother for gifting them with patience and understanding of others.

Using this to guide me, I took one more deep breath before taking the plunge. I opened my good eye and said, "My dear children, this is a long story which features love, friendship, a lot of pain and redemption. Along the way I will tell you about people you've never met (some of whom you'll thank God that you haven't, others you will be disappointed you never did), and of people you have met already. For this, my dears, is the true story of how I met your mother."