Author's note: I apologize for this update taking so long, there is something that I need to address though. I received a review on the last chapter telling me that I am dangerously close to plagiarizing another fanfiction author, and was told to look up the definition of plagiarism. I am NOT plagiarizing the other author's story and it makes me sad that I have to even defend myself, there is no monopoly on a character being a nurse or having been raped. It is all about how each character responds to it and moves on from it. In addition to that review several of you have been encouraging me to give you more original content, now you will have to be patient, but I swear it is coming. People felt that I was following the show and book too closely and you were all right. I was, but I am changing things up, the relationship between Emma and Jamie is going to develop more quickly and the story will diverge all together in episode 5. I know that is a ways to go, but hopefully it will be worth the wait. To those of you who reviewed the last chapter and have been enjoying the story and are being supportive I say thank you and I am sorry for the slight outburst. Enjoy!
Chapter 7
The next morning Emma made her way down to the kitchens. The only person she trusted in Castle Leoch, aside from Jamie, was Mrs. Fitz. She knew that if Mrs. Fitz suspected that she was something other than what she claimed, the older woman would not act on it, and hopefully not gossip about it either. Emma wandered over and offered her a shy smile.
"I was thinking that I should change the bandage on Mr. McTavish's shoulder," Emma explained. At the blank look on her face Emma offered another explanation. "Jamie? Tall red head? Where would I find the stables?"
"Top of the meadow, to the east," Mrs. Fitz offered. "If you'll wait a moment, I'll put together a basket for you, the lad is sure to be hungry, always is that one, and you did miss breakfast."
"That would be wonderful, thank you," Emma said as she shifted out of the way. Mrs. Fitz found a basket for her, quickly loading it with some bandages and food. She passed it to Emma with a bright smile.
"He's a good lad Jamie, a bit stubborn though."
"I'll keep that in mind," Emma said after a moment. She didn't entirely understand what Mrs. Fitz was trying to tell her. She wondered briefly if she thought Emma was seeking Jamie out for other reasons, attraction being one of them. She couldn't deny that Jamie was an attractive man, tall and broad shouldered, hair that gleamed like fire in the sunlight, with the most adorable curls she'd ever seen on a man's head. She couldn't help the blush that crept up her neck and face as she remembered his sculpted torso and the gentle way he held her as she'd cried. The memory of him holding her as she cried, gently wiping away her tears, and the soft kiss he'd placed on her cheek swept through her, warming her.
Emma nodded to the woman before collecting the basket and making her way out of the kitchen. She took her time walking to the stables, mindful of the path she was taking, and careful to stay out of the way of others. She caught sight of Rupert as she made her way through some out buildings, she shook her head, he was not being very subtle about following her.
Emma made her way up the hill, smiling when she saw Jamie in the paddock with a white horse. His arm was still tied up in the bandage she'd put around him. Emma couldn't help but watch in fascination as Jamie spoke to the horse in Gaelic. Emma wandered up to the fence, watching in silence as the horse seemed to float gracefully around the paddock. Emma shifted forward bumping into a cup that clattered to the ground. She gasped when the horse whined at the noise and reared up, its front legs kicking at Jamie.
Emma stumbled back a few steps as Jamie fell to his knees. He swore in Gaelic as the horse walked away from him, he slung the bandage that had been holding his arm to his chest in frustration. He looked around to find Emma staring at him, a look of apprehension on her face.
"Are you all right? I didn't mean to startle the horse, I'm so sorry," Emma said quickly. She could feel a deep blush creeping across her face as she nervously tucked a loose curl behind her ear.
"It's all right, just a girl with spirt is all," Jamie said as he glanced over at the horse. "That's always a good thing. What can I do for you Mistress Beauchamp?"
Emma blinked rather owlishly at him, surprised by how formal he was being with her. Not two days ago he'd gathered in his arms and let her cry on his shoulder. Last night he'd told her she deserved all the fine things in life, kindness among them. Wondering what had brought on the change, she bit her lower lip as she glanced up to meet his gaze.
"Emma, my name is Emma, you don't have to keep calling me Mistress Beauchamp," Emma replied.
"Just being polite Emma, meant no offense," Jamie explained as he came over to the fence. "You didn't answer my question though, what can I do for you? Must be a reason you wandered all the way up here and with a basket no less."
"I… I was going to…, never mind, I can see that you are busy," Emma stuttered out. She didn't why she was suddenly so nervous. She had wanted to see him before, wanted to spend some time with him, but now that she was standing before him she just wanted to go back to her room and hide. Emma spun around quickly to walk back to the castle, gasping when her skirt caught on the fence.
"Lass, stop," Jamie said as he easily climbed over the fence and came to her side. He freed her skirt and took the basket from her hands before she could say anything else. "Seems you brought some bandages and a bit of lunch."
"I thought I could change the bandage on your shoulder, the food was Mrs. Fitz idea. She thought you would be hungry," Emma explained shyly.
"Aye," Jamie said with a smile. He motioned for her to follow him as he led the way over to an open stall. Emma carefully lowered herself to the ground next to him, spreading out the contents of the basket. Jamie removed his vest and placed it aside, loosening his shirt before turning his attention to the food.
They didn't speak as they ate, the silence was companionable though a bit awkward. Emma wanted to tell him that she wasn't upset about what had happened when she'd tended his shoulder. She thought perhaps she had overreacted, it had to be natural for a man to think of a woman in that way while holding her as closely as Jamie had held her. Emma blushed deeply, avoiding looking at him for several minutes as she ate silently.
"Do you want the rest of this as well," she asked as she watched Jamie eat the bulk of the food. She understood what Mrs. Fitz meant about him always being hungry. She held out the piece of bread she'd been eating, offering him a shy smile.
"Ah, you should eat it lass, you weren't at breakfast this morning."
"Everyone gets up so early here, I'm not used it," Emma admitted. "Well that and the last few days have been rather… emotional."
Jamie simply nodded in response before turning to look at her. "Your brother, what was he like?"
"Frank? He was… he was smart, he an amazing mind for history and was fascinated by our family tree, he was able to trace it back several generations," Emma said before she could stop herself. She knew that there was nothing wrong with what she said, it didn't reveal anything about where she was really from. "He was a teacher, he helped me with my schooling when we were younger. His wife, Claire, was the one who encouraged me to become a nur… a healer."
"And you enjoy it? Being a healer," Jamie asked.
"I do, I like helping people, making them feel better when they are ill, mending their scratches. I feel like it gives me a sense of purpose, and I'm good at it, or so I've been told. I… I like being needed," Emma admitted. "What about you? What do you… do? Does your family live around here?"
"No, my family is not near. As for me, I do a bit of this and that, I enjoy working with the horses."
"You aren't from here though, are you," Emma asked. "You seem… you seem a bit set a part from the other men, not stand-offish of course, just… like maybe you don't belong with them, but with someone else."
"For a Sassenach you ken a lot about how a clan works," Jamie replied.
Emma stared at him in surprise. "I don't know anything about how the clans work, it was just something I've noticed about you. They all care for you deeply, they probably would have left you on the road if they didn't. I didn't mean to offend you."
"No offense lass," Jamie said with a chuckle. "I have to be a bit stand-offish as you said. There's a price on my head, ten pounds sterling."
"What does that have to do with the other men?"
"I trust most of them with my life, but most people can't know who I am, there's the watch and redcoats about. Some of the tenets might turn me in simply for the profit, ten pounds sterling is a good bit of money lass," Jamie explained.
"That's awfully high for simply escaping from prison, wasn't the flogging enough punishment," Emma said as she glanced down at her folded hands. The idea of him being flogged still bothered her greatly, he seemed like an immensely kind person, why would anyone want to hurt him so severely?
"Not for escape, for murder," Jamie said. Emma's eyes snapped up to meet his own. He held her gaze, Emma knew her eyes had widened in shock. "I didna actually kill the man I'm wanted for though."
"You have a very complicated life," Emma pointed out. She sighed and shook her head as she studied him for a long moment. She knew he was trying to shock her with the way he'd told her. She couldn't really say that she was shocked though, she didn't think he went around killing people on a regular basis, but she knew he'd at least severely injured if not killed the redcoats that had ambushed them in the woods. "How does one end up wanted for a murder they did not commit?"
"It's a simple story," Jamie said with a chuckle. "I told you what happened to me at Fort William, I could hardly move after a day or two of being flogged the second time. I had fever from the wounds, though if you had been there I expect I wouldn't have taken quite so ill. You've got a healing touch. Once I could stand again there was some… some friends my shift to get me out of camp by… means I best not go into, wouldn't want to… shock you with the details. There was some ruckus as we left, and a red coat was shot."
"Not by you, if you had fever and could barely stand how did you shot him? I've seen the gun that you carry, how could have fired it accurately while riding in that condition," Emma asked. "It would no small miracle if you'd managed to hit anyone much less seriously injure them."
"To tell you the truth I was too weak to do anythin but hang on to the horse. Four years ago now, more like a dream, but there it is," Jamie said before standing and beginning to pull his vest back on.
"So you can't go home because of the price on your head, I'm guessing McTavish is not your real last name then. You have enough sense to change your name to protect yourself," Emma said. She knew that instinct all too well she mused.
"No, no it's not."
"A Nome dagure," Emma supplied.
"Aye, if you like," Jamie replied with a grin. "That was a valuable piece of information."
Jamie squatted next to her and Emma studied him for a moment as he watched her break a piece of hay into smaller bits. "I doubt there are informers in the castle itself, but there might be some in the countryside that'd be glad enough to earn a few pennies by letting the English know where I was, if they know I was a wanted man," Jamie explained. "The watch has no problem turning their own kind over if it earns them some coin. I'd hate to go back to that hell hole because the wrong person knew."
Emma met his gaze, her own holding a deep concern. "Does Colum know," she whispered. Knowing what she now did, she didn't want to let anyone in on his secret.
"That I'm an outlaw? Aye Colum knows, and Dougal, but they're uncles on my mother's side. Dougal was there when I was flogged. He… he helped rescue me."
"Now I know," Emma said her voice quivering with nerves. "Why would you tell me? I'm practically a stranger to you! How do you know that you can trust me? Hell you could have lied!"
"You asked," Jamie said with a shrug, as though it made all the sense in the world for her to know. He didn't seem at all shocked at her choice of words which relieved her.
"I suppose I could have lied, didn't think of that," Jamie replied. He leaned closer to her, his lips right at her ear, brushing the shell of her ear making her shiver slightly. "I decided to trust ya instead."
"Can I trust you," Emma asked as she looked down at her hands again, she could feel herself flushing as she avoided his gaze. "I think I can, but how do you know you can trust another person? Really trust them I mean?"
"I don't know Sassenach, something in me gut tells me you won't be telling tales about me to anyone, you don't seem like that sort of lass. As for me, if you ask me not to tell your tales, I won't," Jamie replied. "My honor means enough to me to not."
"My last name, it's not really Beauchamp," Emma admitted as she looked up to meet Jamie's gaze. She studied him for a long moment, trying to decide if she could actually trust him. "You told me your secret, it's only fair that you know mine. I… I've never met Captain Randall before that day, but I lied to him when he asked me my name because… we have the same last name, we are very distantly related I think, but I didn't want him to know."
Emma shifted nervously, glancing away from Jamie before she rushed on. "I was frightened, I had been attacked earlier in the day, and then the soldiers were shooting at me, I was running rather clumsily through the woods, scared out of my wits, when I saw him… I… well I thought he was my brother, strangely enough they bear a remarkable resemblance to one another. I… I knew that if I… if I told him my real last name, I'd never get away from him, I'd never be free of him. There was just something about him, just looking at him I could see… there is a darkness in that man, a… I don't know how to explain it almost a desire to… hurt and control people. I didn't know what else to do so I lied, I used my sister-in-law's last name. I was afraid that Murtagh had heard it, so I kept lying, to Dougal, to Colum, to everyone. You're the first person I've told and I am… I am terrified that they will kill me if they find out, or worse hand me over to that monster," Emma finished in a whisper. She glanced up at Jamie for the first time, fear written all over her face as she waited for him to say something, anything really. She had just put her fate in his hands, she was trusting him as he had trusted her and she was praying it wasn't going to bite her in the ass.
Someone said something in Gaelic and Emma started in fear, her eyes widening as she jerked away from Jamie. "Are you done stuffing your face while the horses run wild? And when will that colt be broken," the old man asked. Jamie offered Emma his hand and helped her to her feet.
"None the sooner for starvin myself," Jamie replied. The old man glanced between the two of them before turning and striding away.
"I didn't mean to get you into trouble," Emma said softly as she tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear.
"No trouble lass, I best be returning to work though, thank you for the food."
"Of course, anytime," Emma replied. She started to move away from him, fear settling in her stomach over what she had told him. Jamie caught hold of her hand though and pulled her to a stop.
"I give you my word Sassenach, I'll not tell a soul your secret, I swear it," Jamie said before moving away from her. Emma watched him leave, smiling at him when he glanced back at her over his shoulder. She made her way out of the stall and immediately noticed Rupert waiting for her.
"Are you following me," Emma asked. Rupert put his knife away and avoided her gaze. "If you'd said something we could have shared our lunch with you."
Emma offered him a sweet smile before starting back to the castle. She paused for a moment before turning back to him. "Did Dougal ask you to follow me? Were you eavesdropping on our conversation?"
"Ken for a woman you ask a fair amount of questions."
"So I've been told, apparently curiosity runs in my family."
"Well I've not any answers for you. I am but Dougal's eyes, not his head. Let me warn you mistress, these eyes won't be turning their gaze from you until the head orders me to," Rupert explained. Emma heaved a sigh and rolled her eyes before walking away from him. "As for your conversations, I don't ken what the two of you talk about it, you can charm him all you want, makes no difference to me lass."
….
Later that afternoon Emma was making her way to the kitchens when she crossed paths with Dougal. She offered him a shy smile as he paused to study her.
"How are you finding Leoch Mistress Emma," he asked.
"It's lovely, truly, I was curious though, surely Rupert has better things to do all day than follow me about. Is there something you suspect me of or are you just concerned I'll get lost," Emma asked, keeping a polite smile on her face all the while.
"Both, actually."
"What is it exactly that you suspect me of," Emma asked curiously.
"I suspect that you might be an English spy."
"A spy? Me?" Emma clenched her fists in annoyance, really if these people knew her at all they would realize that she would be an absolutely terrible spy. She didn't even speak Gaelic, very few people spoke it in her time and she'd certainly never thought to learn it.
"You havena told the truth about who and what ya are, of that I'm sure, and until I am sure of ya, I'll have ya watched day and night. Now ya ken my mind," Dougal said as he shifted closer to her with every few words.
Emma backed away from him just as quickly as he approached. There was something about him and the way he looked at her that she did not trust at all. He just made her incredibly uncomfortable with the way his eyes swept over her every time he saw her.
"Very well," Emma snapped, annoyed that he actually thought a woman who didn't speak a bit of Gaelic could be a spy. "I think you'll find that I'll be doing very little of interest over the next four days. You should ken my mind as well, I'm not a spy! Just because I have things that I'm not telling you doesn't make me a spy! Have any of you considered that I don't trust you any more than you trust me? Why should I bare my soul to a bunch of strangers who obviously don't trust me?"
"You are lying about who you are, and I am going to find out who you are. What do you mean four days," Dougal asked.
"I leave with Mr. Petree on Saturday," Emma explained.
"On whose orders?"
"Your brother said he would arrange it for me, forgive me, I thought he would have told you," Emma replied. "It's odd isn't it, a spy who doesn't speak the native language of the people she's supposed to be spying on? Doesn't make her a very effective spy, does it? Nor do I know how to fight, an effective spy would need to know how to protect herself as well. I must be the worst spy ever."
With that, Emma turned and strode down the hallway. She knew that Dougal didn't trust her, but she couldn't help but wonder if Colum was as suspicious of her. If he suspected she was a spy as well would he prevent her from leaving on Saturday?
Are you guys ready for the finale? I'm not ready, not in the slightest, and I've read the book so I have a pretty good idea of what is going to happen. Thanks again to those of you who are reviewing its been very helpful. I'm a little concerned that I'm changing Jamie a little too much and he's becoming OOC, what do you guys think?