Call Him Aidan

Chapter Five:

Joys, Regrets, And Little Pleasures

Disclaimer: I do not own Law and Order: SVU or any of its affiliated characters. Any additional characters or situations created within this work of fiction are figments of my own imagination and intended to bear no real resemblance to actual persons or their circumstances.

"Animals are often very intuitive. Sometimes, I truly do believe they know us and our surroundings better than we do. If you're lucky enough to meet even one human being in your lifetime with these same qualities, you should never take them for granted. Unlike that of animals, the undying loyalty of another person is not easily regained after they've been given reasons to revoke it."-Grayson

Grayson Paul sat inside his Ford F150, stationary in the driveway for much longer than was necessary after returning home from one of his many jobs. Nobody would have ever considered him to be a sensitive or emotional man, but then, he himself would tell you that few people truly knew him. Like most everyone else in the world, he had secrets; skeletons in his closet that nobody knew about. One of those skeletons had deepened his love for animals, as well as led him to becoming owner and operator of Ride Again Stables.

With the fiftieth year of his life approaching much more quickly than he would have liked it to, he spent much of his free time reflecting and reminiscing; thinking about all the things that had come to pass he'd had no control over, all the things he'd done, as well as the things he hadn't. As much as he hated some of what had happened, he'd recently come to realize that he'd lived and enjoyed his life just as much as he'd loathed and regretted it.

He loved the work that he did every day at the stables. Whatever he lacked monetarily was made up in the pride that he felt helping others. Giving second chances to animals as well as people. They rehabilitated and retrained abandoned or neglected horses, in time ensuring their suitability for the riding program and the clients who attended it. Seeing people who came from all walks of life, each with their own story of how they'd been broken- car wrecks, work injuries, freak accidents, physical disabilities from the first moments they'd been alive, and giving them an opportunity to get even a piece of their life back, seeing joy in faces that quite possibly hadn't shown any in the span of a lifetime, made all of his own pain subside to a dull ache for a few hours of every day and took away the monotony of being alone.

There had been a time he'd never have been able to imagine himself exactly where he was; where he hadn't needed medication to lull himself into deep dreamless sleep, hadn't held three jobs to fill his days and separate him from the ache that continually resided in his chest, where he hadn't known the experience of any form of ache at all. Rarely did he speak of that time, but he could recall it as quickly as he'd tried to bury it. Compartmentalizing things had become a way of life for him, and he often did this with the happy memories that hurt too much to recall. They found a way to come up, though, when he least wanted them to. Sitting in his truck in the driveway losing track of the moments ticking by, he remembered the most precious thing in his life and how much it had hurt being forced to let go.

##

"I hate these places. It's all the worst circumstances you could imagine just staring you right in the face." Grayson Paul sat by the bedside, its sheets pristine and white, ruffled only in places which were covered by the body of its inhabitant.

"I'm sure most people feel that way. D'you think I like seeing Mom like this? A shell of the person I remember, dangling halfway between life and death? The last thing I said to her was that I couldn't stand her. Do you think I don't regret that?"

Michaela Paul had stood up from her seat at the opposing side of the cot, tears streaming down her face, having no shame in snapping at her father. She loved him, no question, but there were times he could be the most self absorbed person she'd ever known. In times of grieving or difficulty especially, he had a way of making everyone else around him feel like their pain was minute in comparison to his own.

"I never said you didn't. I have things that have come out of my mouth that I regret saying too, Michaela, but you haven't been around. You left, without looking back. Without so much as a phone call. You hardly knew who your mother was, and here you come back to watch her die like you were her best friend all along!"

"Is there a problem here, sir? I can hear you all the way down the hall. If you don't lower your voice, I'm gonna have to ask you to step outside." The nurse stood in the doorjamb, blue scrubs popping against her dark skin, her brow furled into a scowl and her thick Jamaican accent depicting annoyance.

"No, no problem here, just a bit of a heated discussion. My apologies."

"Good. Don't let it happen again."

Following her exit, the two sat down in their designated seats opposite each other once again and looked at the woman in the middle of the hospital bed. Someone they both loved in entirely different ways, for entirely different reasons. Someone they knew was slowly slipping away from them.

"I know I left, and I will always regret the rift that I created between us. My reasons for doing it seem small and stupid now. I don't have enough words to explain it away. There's no valid excuse. But you have to know you weren't perfect either. You've said and done things that have hurt me. I'm not trying to act like Mom and I were best friends. We were far from it. I didn't come here to try to be anything. She's my mother and I'm her daughter and I wish this hadn't happened, but when it comes to it I wanted my opportunity to say goodbye."

Michaela Paul was given the opportunity she had spoken of just a week later when the decision was made to pull the plug on her mother's life support. Though she and her father had their undeniable differences, they'd come to a unanimous decision after extensive discussions with Bess' attending physician, who explained that at that stage, there was little to no hope of her regaining normal brain activity and making even a decent recovery. In the months since she'd been declared unresponsive she had seemed to stay as such. It had come down to her loved ones having to continue holding on to their false hope in silence, suffering in the process, or letting all parties involved have some sense of peace.

"She's gone," the doctor declared, without emotion. "I'm sorry for your loss. We did everything we could."

Car wrecks happened all the time, and when they did, the first responders who tended to the aftermath pulled out all the stops to work a miracle. People were saved every single day because of round the clock silent heroes. Those who were rarely thanked but put all the blood sweat and tears into their work that they could, not expecting anything in return. Due to their selflessness, some everyday people who'd been victim of unfortunate circumstances got lucky. Bess Paul however, hadn't been one of them, and it had irreversibly changed the world Grayson and Michaela Paul were still forced to live in.

##

The shrill ring of the mobile phone clipped onto the pocket of his shirt caused him to startle suddenly, pulling him from the realm of the past where he'd allowed his mind to travel. Forgetting he was still inside his truck, he fumbled momentarily, regaining his full state of awareness only after bumping his head against the driver's side window.

"Fuck!" Grabbing the phone, he flipped it open and jabbed his finger emphatically against the green 'call' button.

"Grayson Paul."

"Uh, yeah hi.. I'm sorry if I'm disturbin' you, but.. my name is Amanda Rollins. I'm callin' about your riding program. Alex Shaffer gave me your number?"

"Oh, yeah. She said I should expect a call from you. You're not disturbing me at all," he said, partially lying but not wanting to be rude, knowing that if he got her off the line he'd just go back to reliving the past anyway. "How can I help?"

"Well, my son is five. He was born with Cerebral Palsy and he loves animals, especially Alex's horses. She said your program is for people with disabilities? My wife and I were hoping we could sign him up, have him meet some other kids..y'know.. give him a chance to feel normal."

"Sure. We focus on anyone with intensive injury or disability. There's different aspects to the program depending under which category the person falls. For the ones who've been injured in accidents and things, we focus a lot on rehabilitation and helping them get movement back where they'd maybe lost it. For others who were born with disabilities it's about strengthening muscles they already use and improving the movement they already have. All of our horses are rehabilitated as well and are extensively trained and extremely gentle. We have trained professionals and special equipment on site to help the clients on and off the horses."

"That sounds amazing. What are your hours like? My wife is a detective for Manhattan SVU, so works really odd hours but I stay home so I could bring him pretty much any time as long as it doesn't conflict with any of his appointments."

"We're open five days a week one to six, and every other weekend three to seven. If you want, I could schedule a day for you to come look around when no one else is here. We could talk about our different enrollment packages and if you like it, go from there."

"That sounds great."

"Great, I'll look over my schedule and give you a call back."

"Perfect, thank you."

"You're welcome, bye."

Saving the incoming number to his phone contacts, he flipped it shut and got out of his truck, trying to leave the fog of the past behind him.

##

"You really should find yourself a man, you know." Krysta Holden's niece smiled, pushing auburn locks that were freakishly identical to those of her aunt from her forehead, locking gazes with the woman opposite her.

"Lyndsy, don't start. I'm fine without a man and you know it." They'd had this conversation many times over the course of Lyndsy's life, and it always went the exact same way every time.

"Come on, Aunt Krysta, seriously? You may be fine, but that doesn't mean you like being alone, I know you don't. You deserve to be happy."

"I am happy," she said, almost too convincingly, her voice raising a few octaves as she refilled both their glasses of wine from the contents of the bottle on the table between them. "I have my job, and I'm not alone. I've got Jada, Jester and Jinx to come home to every day."

"You're telling me you really wanna be married to your job until you can't possibly work anymore, then in your old age be known as some crazy lady who talks to her hoard of cats all day long?"

As exasperating as Lyndsy could be with her tendency to get on bandwagons and her one track mind, Krysta couldn't help but laugh at the pessimistic predictions she held for her life and the conviction with which she pushed the subject. "No, I'm telling you that I accepted long ago that love and a family weren't in the cards for me, and found a second love in the work that I do."

"I don't see how you can be so happy with just one thing."

"Ah, because you don't see the pay off I get when I help people get back a piece of themselves. Watching people regain independence or find long buried confidence is the best thing in the world. If you haven't witnessed it, it's a hard thing to understand. We live completely different lives, my love. Doesn't make either one of them better than the other."

It was true. Lyndsy Whitfield lived a life polar opposite to that of her aunt. She was young, vibrant, and what could only be classified as a free spirit. She'd held jobs, but money and moving up the corporate ladder weren't of utmost importance to her. She tended to do things that made her feel good and gave her life meaning, but lacked significant monetary value. Fortunately, she'd married into money, finding a man more than willing to take care of her and pick up any slack she left behind. Different though they were, Krysta loved her niece for all her flaws and would never chastise her for them. Though she was well taken care of, she knew what she had and was by no means unappreciative or spoiled. Krysta suspected this was why it was so easy for them to put difference aside and love one another as not only relatives, but best friends.

"You're right, we do. I admire you for what you do though. I'd love to be able to come to work with you one day, see it in action." She smiled, winking in her aunt's direction and they both giggled. It was obvious Krysta enjoyed what she did, but Lyndsy hoped that someday her life would change. That before it was over, her life would have a kind of love and joy in it that nobody else currently around her could give.

##

"I did good with my stretches today, didn't I?" The five year old sat patiently on an exercise ball waiting for the therapist to put on his socks and lace his shoes, a triumphant grin on his face, voice as excited as it would have been seeing presents under the tree on Christmas morning.

"You sure did! I've never seen you do them like that yet." Pride shined through Olivia's features and she was more than happy she'd opted to take the day off so as not to miss this appointment. Usually, Amanda understood that work had to take precedent and filled her in on the happenings when she returned home from a shift. This time though, they were meeting with Dr. Brett Kinsman for an evaluation and it would be determined whether or not Aidan would benefit from the use of AFO's. Both ladies felt it important they be present so they could understand the verdict and have the ability to ask their own questions if needed.

"We're gonna show Dr. Kinsman how you walk at the parallel bars now, okay? You did such a good job last time. Let's see if you can go all the way to the end without getting tired. Go all the way to Mommy before she catches you, yeah?"

"Okay! Is this to see if I need those thingies to keep my feet straight?"

"It is. They're not so bad though. If you need 'em, you get to pick the colors of the straps. Sometimes they even let you pick a color for the plastic part. Just like you pick colors for your chair."

"Cool!"

Chuckling at his enthusiasm, Krysta finished putting on his footwear, placing him in his chair and wheeling him over to the bars on the other side of the room. Olivia was crouched down at the opposite end, anticipating seeing him walk across them for the first time. Amanda sat quietly on the chair that had unintentionally become her signature one, stationed behind her wife and waited for what she'd seen countless times but never grew tired of watching.

"Don't get up yet, love. Dr. Kinsman isn't here yet, but he should be in just a few minutes. He needs to see this."

As if hearing his cue, Brett Kinsman breezed through the doors of Krysta Holden's therapy room. He smiled, expression warm and apologetic. "Hello Krysta. Amanda, Olivia.." he nodded in the direction of the other two women upon the mention of their names. "Sorry I couldn't be here from the start, I'm running seriously behind today."

Krysta's eyes held compassion and understanding. With as busy as she was herself, she couldn't imagine how swamped some days must be being a doctor. The fact that he'd managed his time effectively enough to come in from out of state for a simple evaluation was impressive enough in itself. "No problem at all. We were just getting ready so you could evaluate Aidan walking at the parallel bars."

"Perfect. I can't believe how big you've gotten!" His exclamation was laced with genuine wonder at how fast he had grown up, and a smile was still pasted on his lips as he stood behind the boy's chair.

Aidan looked down toward his breaks, doing the double check he always did and snapped them forward into the locked position when he realized he'd previously forgotten to do so. Taking hold of the bars on either side of him, he began taking small, methodical steps, almost as if nervous the doctor was watching him. Just as he was about to open his mouth and assure the boy he had nothing to be nervous about, to pretend like he wasn't even there, his steps became bigger, his walk faster. He reached his mother at the opposite end and stood, holding on to the bars, strength not failing him and she not needing to catch him.

"Excellent! I've never seen you stand at the other side when you get there. You must be feeling strong today, huh?"

The blonde child beamed, proud of himself. "Yup!"

"Do you feel strong enough to turn and walk back to this end for me?" The doctor spoke up, hoping he would say he did but asking so as to give him a choice.

"I've never had to turn before, but I can try."

"That's the attitude we like to hear," Krysta smiled, glancing briefly at Olivia whom she noted was doing the same. "Mommy will be there to guide you if you need help, okay? Dr. Kinsman is on this end with your chair when you get back over here."

"Got it," he said confidently, making them all chuckle. Stepping forward, he swayed a little, almost as if he may fall into Olivia's crouched lap.

"Do you want Mommy to help you? You can lean on me and turn." Looking into his face she could see he was at war with himself over wanting to be independent, yet knowing his body's limits. "You're not gonna be in trouble if you need help, sweetie. Dr. Kinsman isn't here to see if you can do everything without help, just to see how you move and if you may need some things that could make it easier."

"Okay. Can you help me?" He asked quietly, his voice small, almost as if he were ashamed to have given in. As proud as she was of him, Olivia's heart broke a little.

"Of course I can. Put your left hand over on the right side bar where your other one is."

"But I'll fall!"

"No," the brunette soothed gently, "you may feel like you're losing your balance a little, but as long as you keep holding on to that side you'll be fine. I'm gonna get behind you and you'll feel me helping you turn, okay? If you do fall I'll catch you, I promise."

"Okay." Doing as she'd asked of him, he moved his left hand from the bar beneath it and placed it next to the other on the right side, so that both hands were side by side, his knuckles almost white from gripping the shiny surface so tightly, afraid of falling. "Mommy!"

"I'm right here love, you're not going anywhere." She slowly and carefully changed the position of his feet, proceeding to get behind him, aiding him in moving his torso and serving as a leaning post. Once turned and feeling steady enough to do so with his mother's support, he placed a hand on the free bar so that he was ready to again walk straight, going back the opposite direction. The doctor had made sure to pay close attention to his feet the entire time he moved, noting that one side did indeed turn inward while he walked just as Krysta had explained over the phone.

Once he reached the point he'd initially started from, Krysta helped him back into his chair and the boy buckled himself in. There was momentary silence in the room before Dr. Kinsman took the opportunity to speak. "You did a really good job, buddy. I'm impressed. You're making some really good progress."

"Thank you," he said happily.

Brett turned to Krysta and the boys mothers, expression serious.

"From what I'm seeing, it does look like he could potentially benefit from AFO's at this point. Most kids don't like them at first. It may be difficult to find pants and shoes to fit over them as I mentioned to you upon his initial diagnosis, and in warmer months they may be uncomfortable and cause his feet to sweat coupled with socks and shoes. As soon as he gets home from school it'd be a good idea to take them off to let his feet breathe. He won't need them at night. Make sure to always keep both the AFO and his feet dry and clean. If they help him and do what they're supposed to, he probably won't have to wear them forever. Sometime into the teens is when they can be taken off for good if we notice positive changes. I will put in a request for approval, and call you with a date to come to another part of the hospital for a mold of his feet to be cast."

"Perfect, thank you," Olivia said, shaking his hand.

"Oh, just.. one question?" Amanda spoke up suddenly, mentally chastising herself for almost forgetting entirely.

"Sure," the doctor said warmly, waiting for what it was she was about to ask.

"We talked about taking Aidan to a therapeutic riding program for people with injuries and disabilities, and decided to go ahead with it. It's something he really wants to do, and he's supposed to start soon. Should we wait for him to have his AFO's before he starts, or would he be okay without them?"

As much as she knew Aidan would hate it if they couldn't go, she wanted him to be safe first and foremost, and if that meant foregoing riding until a later date, so be it.

"I don't see it being an issue. He's got no broken bones and the AFO's are mostly just to straighten his feet. I'm sure they'll make sure he's secure and safe while riding, especially if it's a special program that deals with those kinds of things all the time. The riding instructors will mention if there's any reason he can't ride, too. But I think it will be really good for him."

"We do, too. Thank you for the peace of mind."

"Anytime. I have to be going, ladies, but if you have any questions all three of you know where to reach me. I'll be calling you to book that AFO fitting, Amanda."

The blonde nodded her head, and Krysta smiled as he walked toward the door to exit. "Thanks for coming, Brett."

"My pleasure, Ms. Holden."

As he exited the therapy room and made his way down the corridor, some of Aidan's shyness seemed to dissipate once it was just his mothers and Krysta.

"So, you're gonna ride horses, huh? That'll be fun."

"Yeah, I love horses! My Auntie Alex has three of 'em!"

"Does she? I love horses, too. I don't have any though. I have three cats."

"Cats are cool. I wanted one, but Mama is allergic, so I'm not allowed. You should come watch me ride sometime! Then you can see all the horses. There's a lot."

She smiled. "I just might."

##

"Mommy, can we get ice cream? Please?"

Olivia turned in the passenger seat to look at her son, who was all smiles. "You sure you're not already hyper enough?"

"Nope!" The brunette looked at him like he was crazy, which elicited uncontrollable giggles.

"You'll spoil your dinner," the blonde next to her piped up seriously.

"I don't care," he laughed.

"I do."

"But I did really good today, and we hardly ever get ice cream before dinner."

Olivia looked over at her wife, eyebrow raised. "He has a point."

"Aren't you supposed to be the strict one?"

"I'm versatile."

This caused the younger woman to throw her head back and laugh heartily. "Whatever you say, my love, whatever you say. Since the vote is apparently two to one, I guess we're going to get ice cream."

"Yessss! We win!"

After putting him to bed that evening, (which had taken an insane amount of time due to the sugar high from the ice cream that had indeed, spoiled even the idea of dinner) the two women laid side by side in bed locked in each others' embrace for what seemed like the first time in ages. All too often Olivia had to work late, or stress and fights kept them sleeping apart. Amanda soaked up every little moment like this that she could, for fear it would again slip through her fingers as if it hadn't been experienced at all.

"What're you thinkin' about?" Olivia's chocolate brown eyes met with Amanda's piercing blue ones, trying but failing to read her thoughts.

"Oh, nothin'. Just how happy Aidan was today. How good he seems to be doing. Sometimes in these happy moments, I feel like I have to pinch myself, like I can't get excited, because it's all gonna come crashing down on us again."

"Baby," she said soothingly, "you may not think so, but I feel that way too. I hold it together, but only because I feel like I have to. My worst fear is Aidan regressing, things falling apart, losing you."

"Losing me? You're afraid of losing me?"

"How could I not be afraid of that? I'm always gone, shouldering the work outside of the home now that you're taking care of our son. Sometimes I fear that one fight we have will be the last one you'll put up with. You'll get tired of feeling like I don't listen, spending so much time alone, and leave. Honestly, I can't even say you'd be wrong in doing so."

"Honey, listen to me. Yes, this life we have is not easy. It's the hardest thing I've ever lived through. Yes, we fight, and some of those fights I would much rather forget. But the last thing on my mind is leaving you. You think I wanna take you away from Aidan and do this on my own? I don't think I could, no matter how strong you insist I am. I can see you're making little efforts to try to put the intimacy and affection back in our marriage, and I'm doing the same thing. I'm trying not to get as worked up about everything, trying to be calmer, happier, nicer to you. I'm going to therapy to try to work on myself. I hated it at first, but Alex offered to pay for it and made me see its benefits."

"Good ol' Alex," Olivia said sarcastically, but laughing making it known there were no hard feelings between them. "What would we do without her?"

"I'd be in a lot more emotional turmoil, and Aidan wouldn't be riding horses," the blonde grinned, her mind going back to the day not so long ago when the three of them had gone to tour Ride Again Stables.

##

"Are you excited, Aidan? You're gonna see lots of horses today." The blonde looked at her son over her piece of buttered toast, who nodded his head vigorously, mouth full of cereal.

"Yeah!" he said enthusiastically after swallowing. "I'm most excited that Mommy gets to come too!"

"Me too, baby." Olivia didn't usually do well with days off, but this was an exception and she was genuinely excited. Anything pertaining to her son filled her heart with a pride and joy she'd never known before, and it was a nice change of pace being able to be together an entire day, taking their time in the morning.

The entire way there, the five year old had insisted on listening to cheesy pop classics at the highest possible volume. The kind you loved, but would never admit being a fan of to anyone. On a normal day the women would have protested, but being in good spirits they happily obliged, joining in every so often to sing long forgotten Spice Girls lyrics at the top of their lungs.

Upon arriving, the stables looked deserted. For a moment, Amanda wondered if she'd gotten the day wrong, but then pushed the thought from her mind. She'd clarified with Grayson when he'd called back to discuss their schedules that this indeed was a good day to come by.

The ladies unbuckled their seat belts, Olivia letting herself out of the car to unpack Aidan's chair from the trunk and piece it together before loading him into it.

Amanda started to follow her wife's lead, opening her own door. "I'll go see if I can find Grayson while you do that, let him know we're here."

"Okay. Text me where to meet you guys if you don't want to come all the way back."

The blonde nodded, heading in the opposite direction.

After looking around the property for what felt like an hour but was likely just a few minutes, she saw no sign of Grayson Paul. Instead, her eyes rested on a girl of medium height and build, who looked to be in her late teens to early twenties. As the blonde approached her and she came into focus more clearly, she saw that she'd been preoccupied mucking stalls and hadn't noticed her.

"Hi," Amanda spoke up carefully, even closer in proximity than before. The girl startled a little. "Sorry. I'm Amanda Rollins. I'm lookin' for Grayson Paul? He told my wife and I to meet him today about enrolling our son in his riding program."

The girl didn't stop what she was doing, but made eye contact. "Michaela. Michaela Paul. I work for my father. He's in the house, by the way. Said I should expect you. Go on ahead and knock. He'll come right out."

"Thank you." The blonde nodded her head as a gesture of gratitude and walked toward the house. Reaching her finger out to ring the doorbell, she jumped back a little when a middle aged man came out before she had the chance.

"Sorry," he said laughing, noticing he'd frightened her. "Amanda Rollins?"

Seeing her nod, he extended a rough, calloused hand. "Grayson Paul. Your wife and son here?"

"Oh, uh.. yeah.. they're back at the car."

"Lead the way," he said kindly, allowing her to do just that.

"Look at all the horses, Mama!" Aidan's excitement at seeing so many of his favorite animal all in one place was palpable.

"I see them, honey. They're pretty."

"Can I touch 'em?"

The blonde looked to Grayson for approval.

"Sure, why not? Maybe Mommy can take you out of your chair to see them while I talk to Mama about some of the boring stuff, hmm?"

Olivia smiled. She couldn't put her finger on what it was she liked about Grayson Paul, but she was sure she liked him. "Absolutely." Wheeling him away from the other two adults, she took him out of his chair and walked around to all the stalls, letting him peek in at the horses inside and reach out to touch the ones he liked the most. She was impressed with how docile and friendly they all were.

"So like I said, we're open five days a week one to six, and every other weekend three to seven," the man explained as he walked alongside the blonde in the opposing direction of her wife and son. "we have different enrollment packages, monthly or yearly. Whichever works for you, just let me know."

"Is there a huge price difference between the two?" Amanda asked carefully, not wanting to let on to a stranger they were financially struggling.

"Alex didn't tell you? She's already given us an advance to take care of the first six months. Gave me strict instructions to let you have whichever package you want after that, and she's to take care of it."

"Oh."

The monosyllabic response would have to suffice, as the younger woman's ability to form complete, coherent sentences failed her miserably. One may have thought she'd be mad at the lavishness of her friend's gesture; even she'd expected to be mad, but she wasn't. Instead, she was moved very closely to the point of tears. It was true than neither she nor her wife particularly enjoyed being on the receiving end of anyone else's charity and would fight tooth and nail to claw their way out of a tight spot before asking anyone for help, but knowing how much Aidan had his heart set on riding, how much he wanted to be just like other kids, she tucked her pride away just once and allowed herself to be incredibly thankful for a friend as loyal as Alex laying such a special and stress free opportunity at their feet.

The rest of the meeting between Amanda Rollins and Grayson Paul consisted of much information being shared, Amanda listening intently, nodding politely. Remaining speechless and without questions, simply feeling fortunate to be living in the moment. After exchanging goodbyes, but before heading to collect her wife and child, she pulled out her phone and with a smile gracing her lips sent her closest friend the only words she could think of to say.

Grayson told me what you did... THANK YOU! From both of us. Xoxoxo. -A

##

The first weekend that Aidan Rollins was to be given opportunity to actually get on a horse at Ride Again, Krysta Holden had made it a point to be present to watch, and she was happy she could. She'd learned from Amanda that morning that Olivia had been called to work, and felt horribly about having to miss his first time. Krysta however, had the weekend off and they'd asked her a few days prior if she would go. Aidan had mentioned it continuously as he had a special kind of relationship with the therapist. She wasn't really supposed to interact with her clients outside of work, but once in a while there was that one kid who just tugged at her heart strings and caused her to bend the rules. What the big bosses didn't know wouldn't hurt them. It would give her an opportunity to see any changes in the boy while he rode, and (she hoped) take his mind off his other parent's absence.

Standing by the outskirts of the fence around the riding ring, she patiently waited for the day's events to unfold.

"Aidan, this is Aimee, and that's Mr. Paul's daughter Michaela. They and all the other people who work here are trained to help you and keep you guys good and safe while you ride, okay? I'll be over next to Krysta watching everything, I promise." Amanda buckled her son's helmet, adjusting the tightness to fit his head without falling off.

"Okay. You got your camera right? I wanna show Mommy some pictures!"

"You bet. Have fun, okay?"

"Love you."

"Me too, baby."

After a drawn out introduction to Starr, (the horse to which he'd been assigned for the session) and help from Aimee and a couple of other staff to mount her and get him feeling safe and steady on her back, Michaela stood ready to guide the horse around the ring with a lead rope. In time, depending on how long he remained a member of their program, he would likely become extremely comfortable around all the horses as well as the people who worked there. The first day anyone rode, regardless of age, comfort level or expertise, they took the precaution of the horse being led around the ring by a member of the staff so as to allow animal and rider to become accustomed to each other.

In the beginning, Aidan had been nervous, his limbs even noticeably shaking if you looked close enough. Michaela had thought at first that he was going to ask her to stop, which she certainly would have had no problem doing. Many kids, even adults, felt that way on their first day. But he'd pushed forward through any fears he may have had and eventually they'd even picked up speed. He'd forgotten about all the other participants that surrounded him, and focused in on his mother every time they moved past her.

"Look Mama, I'm riding!"

"He's doing so good," Krysta said from outside the fence, looking to Amanda as she waved at his passing form, snapping a few pictures as they went.

"I know, I had a feeling this would be good for him."

"He'll be reaping the benefits if he stays with it as he grows, too."

"I hope so."

A little before seven in the evening, the staff at Ride Again decided to wrap things up so any newcomers could have time to socialize with other veterans of the program. It was something they always did after their weekend lessons, a tradition Michaela was in charge of overseeing ever since her return to her father's life not quite two years ago. As antisocial and moody as she could be, the participants of the program brought out a whole other side to her personality. Especially the little ones. Aidan Rollins had struck a particular chord in her, and with him being the new kid on the block she felt an obligation to be extra kind and take him under her wing even more than she did any of the others.

While she and Aimee were tending to Aidan, the rest of the staff were going about their own duties, some helping other people, some leading the horses back to their stalls, some even socializing with or answering questions from loved ones of the participants. Eventually seeing Aidan back in his chair and not in the presence of staff members, horses or other kids, Amanda took the opportunity to go be with her son, leaving Krysta to her own devices outside the riding ring.

"Nice night, isn't it?" A man's voice, low and pensive, stirred her from her thoughts, causing her to jump back a few inches from the fence. "Did I scare you?" He laughed, but the expression he donned was apologetic. "I seem to be real good at that. Sorry. Wasn't my intention."

"No worries. All's forgiven. To answer your question though, it is very nice tonight."

"Some nights I come out here long after the chores are done, animals asleep, for no reason at all except to think. Something about being in the presence of animals that clears your head, I guess."

"I'll agree with that. Sometimes I finish up after a long day's work and my spirits are instantly lifted knowing I have fur babies waiting on me at home. There are times when I feel like they know me better than I know myself."

"Animals are often very intuitive. Sometimes, I truly do believe they know us and our surroundings better than we do. If you're lucky enough to meet even one human being in your lifetime with these same qualities, you should never take them for granted. Unlike that of animals, the undying loyalty of another person is not easily regained after they've been given reasons to revoke it."

There was a prolonged lull in the conversation, Krysta turning over each word he'd said in her head, not feeling it necessary to have a response at the ready on the tip of her tongue. Something about Grayson Paul left her wondering, thirsting for knowledge despite the fact they'd just met. It had been a long time since any man had intrigued her in such a way so quickly. There was something haunting and mysterious about him; all the love, desire, pain and sorrow seeming to mix together so you didn't know where one ended and the other began. But his eyes, they held it all. All of his depth, all of his secrets, were so obviously pooled beneath them.

"And you've had to take back your undying loyalty, have you?" She'd blurted the question without thinking, and it had come out differently than she'd intended. She hoped that by asking it, she hadn't overstepped some unknown line.

"I've had to do more than that, my dear. But that's a story for another day, not to be told out in the open, especially in the presence of so many young ears." He winked, letting her know that he hadn't taken offense to her question.

"I'd like to hear it."

"Well, maybe I'll get to telling you over a cup of coffee, If I see you around again."

"Maybe you will." Returning the wink he'd extended to her moments before, she broke away to go find Aidan and say her goodbyes.

Krysta Holden had learned long ago that life was chalked full of joys, regrets and little pleasures. What she hadn't expected upon arriving at Ride Again Stables, was to find such pleasure in making the acquaintance of its owner, or the feelings that surfaced when she thought of seeing him again.