AN: For a friend—a slice of Diana's adult life. Elena is an Alliance soldier, and her squad was working with Diana's unit on... something or other. She's also Latina (just bc I know everyone assumes characters are white until stated otherwise).

Chapter Eleven:

"What's this?"

Diana shivered as curious fingers traced across her upper back, following the lines and curves of the letters inked into her skin. She knew the feather-light touches weren't meant to tickle, but she couldn't help squirming anyway. "C'mon. Stop it, Elena," she hissed, her voice half-way between a giggle and a groan. She started to flip around, mostly so she could take in Elena's lovely face, but a soft hand on her hip kept her lying in place.

"No, don't move. Please. I wanna see."

Her new lover's soft fingertips continued tracing, and Diana didn't have the heart to stop them. The touch was gentle, but it also sent a sharp pain straight through the middle of her chest, one that lingered like the ache of an old scar wound opening up. She stiffened, and Elena's hand instantly pulled away. Their naked bodies parted, leaving a sticky coat of sweat along Diana's back. A shiver raced down her spine as it began to cool, but the strip of skin where her tattoo was still burned.

"Asari don't usually get their backs done," she mumbled. She knew she didn't have to explain, but some part of her felt compelled to, and the words kept spilling out. "They get traditional family markings on their faces, or patterns they like, but they don't do words."

There was a beat of silence. Then, Elena asked, "So why did you? It's in English, right?" Next came a brief hesitation, just a beat too long. "Old human girlfriend or something?"

Diana knew she might be imagining it, reading too much into things, but she couldn't help wondering if there was a hint of jealousy in Elena's voice. "No, not like you're thinking. But I did get it for a human."

"Your Dad?"

Diana didn't reply right away. She had told Elena some things about her father and her family—it was common knowledge that she was Commander Shepard and Liara T'Soni's daughter—but not everything. Not the important things. Before it had gotten this serious, trivialities had seemed like enough. And Ashley... Ashley was something she had kept to herself these past three years. Talking about her was painful, and Commandos weren't supposed to show pain.

"No, but close." She took a deep breath in through her nose, closing her eyes in an attempt to fight back the sting. "In the fell clutch of circumstance, I have not winced nor cried aloud. Under the bludgeonings of chance, my head is bloody, but unbowed."

Elena didn't say anything, but Diana felt the warmth of her lover's palm return to her hip, giving a reassuring squeeze.

"It's for one of my Dad's old crewmates from the war. She was a mentor to me growing up, you know? She had me turn my translator off and taught it to me in English. Said it was her Dad's favorite poem. I guess she wanted to pass it down."

Elena remained silent, giving her space to talk, but the hand stroking up and down her side reassured her that she didn't have to if she didn't want to.

"She was the one who taught me how to shoot. How to fight. She melded with me while I was growing up, and when she did, she shared everything. Goddess..." Images rushed back into her head, of screaming husks and shrieking banshees and corpses piled higher than a person's head. Thanks to Ashley, as well as her parents, she knew that when their history teachers said the Reapers had 'harvested' organic life, they meant it literally.

"Hey."

Diana blinked, returning to the bed to find Elena's warm body pressed up against her back again. Soft lips grazed the nape of her neck, and she sighed.

"You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to."

But she did want to. For the first time in several years, she wanted to. She needed for someone else to know about Ashley besides her family. She needed for someone else to see the face of the woman who was her inspiration. Her teacher. Her best friend. Her third parent. "It's okay. I just...everyone thinks I became a Commando because of my Dad. And yeah, I want to make her proud and live up to her expectations, but she wasn't the reason. Ashley was."

She heard Elena's soft intake of breath in addition to feeling it against her shoulder. "You mean Ashley Williams? The second human SpecTRe? Do you have any idea how famous she still is on Earth? The entire planet and half the colonies went dark on the day of her funeral."

This time, Diana couldn't stop her tears. They leaked from her eyes, leaving hot trails on her cheeks that ran down to pool on top of the pillow. "But she was more than that to me," she whispered. "She was..." But she couldn't find the words. Words couldn't convey how she felt. Instead, she flipped onto her other side, staring into Elena's dark eyes and silently asking permission.

It was granted when Elena cupped her face, wiping the tears away. "You could show me, if you want?"

Diana nodded. The lump in her throat was too thick for an Embrace Eternity, but it didn't matter. Elena's walls were already down, and she accepted the meld without question. Diana tried to take a moment to prepare, to bask in the warmth of her lover's mind, but thoughts of Ashley started crashing over her like waves, swelling up until she couldn't hold them back anymore.

Ashley, taking apart a rifle to show her how it worked, explaining every step of the process.

Ashley, running sims with her in Armax Arena and completely kicking her ass—until she finally began to keep up.

Ashley, taking her out on runs on Earth, on the Citadel, on Thessia.

Ashley, a bottle of brandy in one hand, recounting her memories of the war.

Ashley, melding with her, teaching her the human part of her history, reciting poetry...

"Do you know what that verse means, Di? It's about not giving up, no matter how scared you are. It's about taking one more step than you think you can. Life is going to hurt you, but if you're strong, it can't break you." A smile. "I just use poetry because other people say what I want to say better than I do."

Too much. It's too much. She pulled back, and Elena let her go, and when her vision returned, Diana realized that her lover was crying too. "Shit, I'm sorry," she rasped, unsure whether to swipe away her own tears or Elena's. "This has to be the worst real first time in a bed ever."

"It's not. It's okay. You're okay..." Her brow furrowed with worry, and Diana resisted the impulse to smooth the wrinkle away. "You are okay, right?"

"Do you know why I got the tattoo where I did?" Diana asked, ignoring the question. There was still a hole in her heart where Ashley was supposed to be. "Because this way, it feels like she's always got my back."

Elena laughed, still sniffing awkwardly. "That's adorable. Who knew you were such a sap, T'Soni?"

"Oh, come on. I didn't have you fooled. The minute our units started working together, I'm sure you had me pegged."

"Oh, I had you pegged for something," Elena drawled, and the words sounded only a little forced.

Diana was relieved. The flirting made her hurt less. "Hopefully girlfriend material."

"Yeah," Elena chuckled. "Definitely girlfriend material. Just don't ask me to meet your parents yet. I'm still kind of terrified of the Great Commander Shepard."

"It's my Mom you should be afraid of," Diana said. "Dad's a varren pup." And Ashley isn't around to guard me with her shotgun, although I think she would have liked you.

"Duly noted." There was another silence, but this time, it wasn't uncomfortable. "Diana?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks. For showing me Ashley. The holos don't do her justice."

Diana nodded. "I feel like I should be thanking you, but... you're welcome."