I've been feeling a little down lately... I feel Donnie would be the turtle to have the same feelings as me.

Loneliness

I watch as everyone around me plays and smiles,

They are enjoying themselves

And I?

I'm just here on the side-lines.

Watching.

They ignore me to offer each other attention.

I wish I could join in

But something stops me, something within my heart tells me I don't belong.

I am not to join them because I would ruin everything.

I am to watch and dream of being loved in such a way.

Instead of being thought of as a burden.

I sigh.

It's hard to breathe now, my lungs just don't want to inhale.

I know I'm breathing but it doesn't feel like it.

I feel nothing but dark misery.

I close my eyes and try to think of something else but their voices are so loud.

It's like they want to rub it in.

I start to walk to my room, I feel selfish doing this but I look round to see if anyone is sad that I'm leaving the room.

They're not.

They haven't even noticed.

I shut the door behind me, it's silent in my room yet I can still hear them in my mind.

My heart beats painfully and my hands feel cold.

I lie on my bed and stare at my ceiling.

I always found it hard to get along with anyone because of how different I am.

I always thought I was content having a quiet life on my own.

Just me and my independence.

But I miss having company, I want friends, I want my family to put me first for once.

I'm sick of being second best to my brothers.

My father is so proud of them yet worries for them.

He doesn't glance at me.

He cares for me yet I'm put behind my brothers.

I am not a priority.

I am too sensitive,

A nerd,

Ugly, disgusting,

Worthless,

Pathetic,

Strange,

Quiet,

Useless,

A freak among freaks.

Why?

I cannot change who I am, I cannot be the son or brother they wish me to be.

My life is going nowhere fast

And nobody is going to help me.

Nobody cares.

I am destined to be alone with nothing to be remembered for.

I do not belong here.

Why am I alive?

Why do I bother to carry on?

Because I'm a coward.

A dreamer.

My mind is my only company and yet it is the cause of my loneliness.

I am the cause of my loneliness.

How I dream of being someone different…

I want to be put above my brothers just once.

Just once I'd like to feel loved.

Just once…

Just once I want to be rid of my loneliness and be happy.

Yeah… happy would be good.

Happy is my dream.

Just a dream and nothing more…

Nothing more.

So yeah... this is how I feel... sorry for bumming you guys out but thanks for reading. Review if you want. x