A/N Hey people, This is Kementari, promise I'm not dead. If any of you beautiful human beings are still reading this, congrats, you have won a firm handshake. This chapter lacks collaboration from Irmo, so I apologize. He is the humor, and without him I lack inspiration. Hopefully he will return, and updates can resume being a thing. Until then, Enjoy this chapter, and Merry Christmas.

Hogun abruptly abandoned his muted staring match with Eomer to whirl, in as dignified a manner as he knew, on the newcomer. "Loki." He greeted with tense civility. Last he knew Loki was allowed certain liberties in exchange for his work on the Bifrost, but the second prince was scarcely the most trustworthy being in the nine even when his motives were known. And recently his motives were rarely known. Loki had better have a good explanation for sending them to this strange realm.

Loki cooly assessed the assembled warriors. The warrior three were all staring at him in various stages of wariness and animosity, while a pair of locals were standing to the side weapons drawn, prepared to act if this stranger posed a threat. It seemed his appearance had the desired effect. "Is this how you greet one who comes to lend you aid?"

"This is how we greet one whose treachery has ended our last illusion of loyalty. What business have you hear, Silvertongue?"

Loki's eyes drifted over to Fandral. "Large words from a small man, yet what is this treachery of which you speak? Not that it need be great to test loyalty feeble as yours."

Fandral spluttered for a moment, but finally ended on muttering, "I'm not small, I'm petite, there's a difference."

Hogun rolled his eyes at Fandral's sudden crisis, but cleared his throat anyhow, "To what manner of realm have you sent us, Loki? What is your business here?"

Loki sighed patiently, "You have landed in a realm beyond the branches of Yggdrasil, I have been sent by the All-Father to lend direction to your wandering and to ensure your safe return."

Volstagg spluttered for a moment, "You mess up the Bifrost, and the geezer trusts you to retrieve us? You expect us to believe that he trusts the lives of Asgard's best and brightest with the shiftiest member of the royal family? Your make the other politicians look positively honest!"

"Huh, at least that's universal."

Everybody spared the recently deceased Jack a quick glance. Loki raised a skeptical eyebrow, "Well, that's odd."

Eowyn took that opportunity to scoff, "that is scarcely the oddest thing that's been happening recently, and somebody had better start explaining or things are going to get messy." She glared at the circle of men who were now staring at her. With a huff she twirled her sword once more for emphasis, before sheathing it and raising an eyebrow expectantly.

Loki smirked as the warriors three unconsciously gave Eowyn a bit of space, but decided that as amusing as this was, he had to get back to Asgard before someone figured out he was throwing a projection across the universe. "Unfortunately, it is not in my power to return you to Asgard now, I came here only through a hidden doorway, a doorway through which I dare not drag you, most powerful of Asgard's warriors and whatnot. It would take an incredible amount of energy to return you to Asgard, and at the moment the bifrost does not have that energy available."

Hogun frowned, "The bifrost does not run low on energy, it harnesses the power of the Yggdrasil itself."

Loki raised an eyebrow, "Someone paid attention, I would be impressed if what you just said remained even remotely accurate. When that buffoon destroyed the bifrost, he severed its source of energy. I may have rebuilt the bifrost better than ever, but it will take time for that link to grow back. In the meantime, you all must find your own powersource if you wish to return within the next century. Thankfully for you, I sense a power in this realm older even than your mother, Hogun, and it may suit our needs."

Hogun huffed for a moment, but before he could retort, Eowyn bristled. "I know of what you speak, and you would pursue such power at your own peril."

At that, Fandral perked up, "Peril, adventure, tales of glory! Indeed, this is what we seek!"

Eowyn stared at him for a moment, "You know not of what you speak, Idiot."

"He rarely does, yet the One Ring is the only way the warriors are leaving this realm within your lifetime." With that final seed planted, Loki flicked his wrist imperiously, and seemed to dissolve from existence.

"...Well, that was cool." Jack supplied after a moment.

Fandral, shook his head, "Yeah, he does that."

~o~0~o~

Frigga was suddenly having a significantly better day. She knew this was serious. She shouldn't laugh, it wasn't queenly. Sif, wearing a glamour of Loki, started mutinously out at them from the storeroom. Her hair was disheveled, and she had murder in her eyes. "Thor Odinson, you are the biggest idiot I have ever met in my life! I cannot believe that actually worked! Frigga! Let me out! You know who I am, even if this nincompoop can't tell a man from a woman! I am going to kill Loki! No, maybe Thor. I'll kill both of them, It's both of their fault. If he fools you once Thor, shame on him, but he gets you every time! Are you capable of learning? Honestly? You have known eachother for millennia and he still gets you with the oldest trick in the book?"

Sif broke off abruptly, presumably to breathe, and then resumed her tirade with renewed vigor. A part of Frigga had to agree, Thor really should stop falling for these tricks. Even so, she winced when Sif's tirade upped in volume, this was certainly amusing. She should put an end to this soon, she knew this. It appeared she was the last pillar of common sense in this place, it was her job to retain some semblance of order. Sif spit out a particularly colorful expletive, added something about using Milnir to roast marshmallows over the fires of Muspelheim, and finally subsided into grumbling, and finally stony silence as she waited expectantly for Frigga to release her from her impromptu cell.

I really shouldn't, I'm the queen of Asgard for pity's sake. Frigga fought down a smirk and sighed sorrowfully. "My beautiful son, please calm yourself. All will be well. Come Thor, let us bring your brother to the hall of healing."

As Sif left the storeroom, she reverted back to her more feminine, but no less murderous form. "See! It's me, don't you believe me now? Is the entire house of Odin incapable of reason?"

Thor stared for a moment, before shaking his head sadly, "Alas, we are not so easily fooled, Brother. We know of the enchantment that lays upon that room, attempting now to change your form will not aid you."

Frigga and Sif both paused at that. Sif was finally at a loss on what to say, and Frigga turned away to hide a grin that finally broke through her queenly solemnity. If Thor was really going to go with that, far be it from her to enlighten him, after all, being responsible is for the uninventive. She grinned as a livid Sif was escorted to the healers.

In a broom closet nearby, Loki came back to himself with a start. Such long distance projections always took effort, but this promised to be worth it. Obviously, the bifrost had the power to retrieve the three stooges, it wasn't a rechargeable battery for pity's sake. But just because he could retrieve them didn't mean he wanted to. Anyway, things had been getting too chummy around here. Now only one question remained: Who to impersonate next?

Until next time, lovely people. Let us know what you like, dislike, or would like to see more of. We are making this up as we go along, and we value your thoughts.