Broken

"Senju Ai is now the head of her clan. As such, a certain level of decorum must be maintained - even as she learns to rain death on Konoha's enemies. The Elemental Nations will remember the Senju clan was feared with good reason." Continuation of: Cosmic Comedy. WARNINGS: Strong OC, OC-centric, Dark, Gore. Rated M for: Adult situations (limes), language and shinobi business.

Secondary warning: Homosexual, bisexual, heterosexual, asexual and transgender characters will be getting significant screen time. If that isn't your cup of tea, please don't read ^_^

Chapter specific warning: This chapter is a mindfuck. There's no other way to describe it. Be warned, this is meant to set the tone for the beginning of Water Goddess, not just end Broken.

Enjoy ^_^

Arc 4 – Springtime – Chapter 39 – Fuck My Life

8-8

I…

No…

This…

No…

This can't… I can't… no… just no…

"NOO!" I hear the scream. I see the blood. But no. This just. This can't be happening. This just can't be happening.

Raiza lies on the floor. Kawarama soon follows. Tanyu puts herself between me and that thing. Both hers and Itama's heads fly into my arms. Nisshou soon joins in their fate. My babies…

I can't even begin to process this. I can't begin to believe this is real, that this is happening. In three seconds, I lose everyone.

I laugh.

I hold the heads of two of my daughters. I kiss their crowns. I tell them that I love them.

I laugh some more.

A kick, that thing's foot ruptures the last two of my children – still growing within me. I fly back, hitting the wall, feeling myself make an indent into the cold, unforgiving stone.

I laugh.

Physical pain doesn't register. Emotional pain doesn't register. Nothing registers.

I laugh.

Making my way to Raiza, I hear a voice. "There, now you can use chakra. Now you can run. Leave, Ai." Who's Ai? And who's leaving. No one's leaving. Not alive.

I push Raiza onto her back, seeing her head lol back, seeing the inside of her throat laid bare. Her head is only attached by a small strip of skin. A perfect beheading, sepukku style. I place Tanyu's and Itama's heads in her arms. "Take care of them for me?" I ask her. When she doesn't answer, I laugh.

Or am I laughing, and she just happens to not answer me?

I reach into Raiza's leg pouch. I take out my gloves. Jei asked her to hold them for me, to not tempt me to use them. I not tempted. But I'm using them. I kiss Raiza's forehead, closing her eyes for her. "Sleep, baby. Ka-san will make this right. I promise."

"Are you listening to me?" That thing asks.

I laugh, cackle. I feel it, the last of me bleeding away from within me. I feel the blood that once flowed through my babies dripping down, dripping out of me. That just makes me cackle even more.

I don my gloves. "I've missed these things. Oh, how I've missed these things. Have you missed momma, too?" I ask my gloves.

But wait?

Why?

Why would I try to kill just that thing? I sense more. Many more. No. Killing one cockroach doesn't kill the nest.

"Raiza, baby?" I ask, smiling warmly at my eldest. "You handle things here, okay? Ka-san needs to see to something important."

I take two steps. I wobble, but a thought hits me. With so much going on? I can't leave my babies here. "On second thought. You guys should come with me. You might learn a thing or two."

A brief scan tells me that almost every chakra signature I recognize… is starting to fade. There are twenty left. And they won't last long. "Come on, hurry up lazy bones." I grab the five heads, bringing them with me into the next room.

Why am I leaving the room?

Why not?

In the next room, I line up my children. Eldest to youngest. Side by side. Together, like we're meant to be. We're meant to be together. All of us. We'll be together. All of us. I promise.

I unseal my main scroll. From within it, I unseal my sealing inks and brush. "Who needs a scroll, when I have so much canvas to work with?" I ask, cackling when I get no answer. "Now, Nisshou, I want you to pay close attention, baby. This is a forbidden seal, but one that is most useful."

Opening the jar of ink, I dip my brush and start to draw the core matrix on the ground.

I've never worked so quickly, so efficiently in my life. I've made only four of these seals before. But, frankly the majority of them were safeguards and timers and security measures. Who needs silly things like that?

No. All I need, is the boom. Just the boom.

Everything, boom.

"Now, do keep in mind that normally you should never work like this. It isn't safe. But for this one time, Ka-san doesn't mind." I explain Nis, moving through the motions with a practiced ease. Slowly, the more of the seal I create, the funnier this all seems. I find myself giggling, and cackling, and laughing.

So much laughing.

I start rocking back and forth, but it doesn't affect my seal scripting any. Or is the world moving to and fro? Who cares.

"Did I tell you how I met your father?" I ask, mostly Yu and Rai. The others won't care too much to hear this. "It was just after the Sound Invasion, like… three years ago? He just moved to Konoha. His first day of the academy, and he get put in our class. I thought he was the hottest thing on the planet. I still do."

I hear Yu giggle, but Rai just rolls her eyes. She never was into guys, so I can understand. "He had the world's most useless pickup lines. I think he said something like, I'm hungry, I could feed you too? He was such a goofball. No suave. But, kami-sama, did he have the most beautiful eyes. They remind me so much of Ka-san's eyes. Don't worry, when we get there, I'll make sure to introduce you, okay? She'll just love you kids to pieces. I just know it."

I feel it. That thing. Back again to bother me. I ignore it. I have no use for it. I keep working my art, crafting my seal. "I couldn't stand him at first. I mean, sure, he was cute, but that's all I knew about him. I was… going through something at the time. I don't really remember the details. Advantages of amnesia, you forget most of your troubles." I continue explaining. I briefly wonder why Yu-chan isn't asking about that. She'd want to know.

"Right, you kids weren't ever told. You see, I suffered from chakra strokes around that time. I had maybe… three attacks I know of. But knowing my luck, I had many more. During the worst one, I remember Jei telling me that wherever I go, he'll follow. A total goofball, but kami-sama, he's loyal to a fault."

I keep scribbling out my seal, keep rocking back and forwards. And keep ignoring that thing. Why is that thing still here? I don't want him here. But, if I'm patient? Maybe he'll stay? Yeah. I'd like that. Then he can see my brainchild. He can see the true depths of my genius at work.

Stay, thing. Please stay. You'll like what I'm working on. Almost as much as I will. Not quite as much. Not one will enjoy this as much. Because unlike you, I know what I'm doing.

Almost there.

Oh, yes. I am going to enjoy the look on your face when we get to the Pure Lands. When you can't run from me or my clan. When we will bear witness against you for all you've done. I can't wait. Soon. Soon. Oh so soon.

"There!" The last scribble is inked. Fuck guiding matrices. Fuck all of that. I make the seal of confrontation. Place my hand in the middle, offering myself as fuel. "Rai. Gather my babies. Ka-san's coming."

8-8

White. White everywhere. Blindingly bright.

A door opens. I'm in a wheelchair, Raiza is pushing. I look up at her. Our eyes meet. She smiles, warm, bright. Kami-sama, I love seeing her smile like that. Like nothing in the world could go wrong.

She pushes me, carefully eases me into the backyard. Everyone's here. But it wasn't meant to be like this. It was just supposed to be the Inner Circle Families. Jei is there, at the altar with Chazu. Pou and Kei are his best men. Choco and Hibari are my maids of honour.

Daddy walks beside me, letting Raiza push. Itama is our flower girl, and she looks so proud. Kawa-kun is holding the ring bearer. Nisshou and Tanyu stand behind Rai, walking with us. My babies.

Oh, my babies.

On the walls, I see Tenzo, Inaho, Sahara, Savana, Osamu, Aki, Maki, Kana, everyone. Everyone.

In the seat of honour, front row to the bride's side, is an empty seat. A picture frame, Ka-san's picture no doubt. And Shizune-nee sitting beside her, where she belongs.

Sasuke is here with Sakura and Mikoto. Naruto is here with Hinata. Rika…? Where's… oh, she's flitting about taking pictures like an idiot. Typical.

We make it to the alter. Daddy offers my hand to Jei, who takes it and kisses it. The love in his eyes tells me that he couldn't care less I'm in a wheelchair.

Chazu starts to speak, but his words are muffled and muted. All I care for, is that we're here. All of us. Together. Like we're supposed to be. We're supposed to be together.

You promised me, Jei. Wherever I go, you'll follow. Don't think I'll forget that. Don't think I won't hold you to it. I need you. I need you like I need my babies. We're a family. I need my family, Jei. Do you understand? Do you truly understand?

"I do." He says, his tone solemn. There are tears in his eyes, even as he smiles.

"And do you, Senju Ai, vow to love and cherish Jei. To walk with him in sickness and in health. In good times and in bad. All the days of your life?" Chazu asks.

"No." I say, meaning it. "Not just all the days of my life. Forever."

Jei grins. That cocky, lopsided, shiteating grin that only he seems to pull off well. "You're not greedy. You just want it all."

"You said you'd follow me, wherever I go." I remind him. "I'm holding you to that. In this life, and in the next."

"Deal." He grins even wider.

"Then you may kiss the bride." Chazu says, amused with us.

Jei leans in. His passion, his devotion, his undeniable love for me. It's all there. In his eyes. On display for me to see. Only for me to see. He leans closer to me. I wrap my arms around his shoulders.

We kiss.

Tears stream down my face.

8-8

White. More white light. A beach. I smell the salt in the air, hear the crackling of a campfire. There are waves gently crashing into the shore.

Jei. Raiza. Tanyu. Nisshou. Kawarama. Itama. And two others – I can't see their faces, covered by hoodies and shadowing their features. I walk to them. To Jei. I wrap my arms around his middle. "Where are we going?" Jei asks.

"I don't know." I admit. "But we're together, that's what counts."

"But the others. They look to us for guidance." Jei reminds me. "We need a plan."

"I don't have one." I say, enjoying his warmth.

"Love. Where are we going?" He presses. Obviously he's refusing to make up his mind.

"So long as we're together, I don't care." I say. "Come on, Ka-san needs a hug." The kids, my babies, they come to me. I scoop Itama up, hugging her. Jei scoops up Kawa-kun. Raiza hugs me from behind. Tanyu and Nisshou sandwich me in from both sides.

I sigh, content.

The last two, they seem unsure. "I want all my babies close to me." I say, beckoning to them. I see one with a cocky grin, just like his father. The other looks nervous. Unsure. "Come." I beckon to them again.

The girl, she slinks up to me. Jei hugs her. "You never told me what names you came up with." Jei says, kissing the girl's hooded crown. The boy comes as well. Tanyu and I hug him, refusing to ever let him feel unwelcomed, unloved.

"Tsunade and Dan." I murmur. "I dream about them all the time. Wondering if they would take after you or me. Wondering if they'll know just how much we've come to love them."

"I know, mom." The boy –Dan– says, a smile in his tone. "I don't think a day's gone by you haven't rubbed your belly, telling us."

"We're sorry." The girl –Tsunade– says, crying. "If only you didn't get pregnant. None of this would have happened."

"There, there, baby." Jei soothes, kissing her. "We don't regret it."

"Not one bit." I agree. "It's that THING'S doing."

"Ai. Calm yourself. Now's not the time." Jei chides.

"I'm sorry. You're right." I cave. I kiss my babies. All my babies. "We're together."

"The world. She'll be at war again." I hear behind me. It isn't any of my babies, though.

"The world cared nothing for me." I point out. "All I want is my family."

"The world needs you."

"Fuckload of good that did me." I counter. "All I want is my family. Nothing more."

"Ai, there's more to this than just us."

"Fuck the world, Jei." I snipe. "I want my babies. I want my husband. I want my family. That's it."

"Momma?" Itama pulls back from me. "Why are you mad?"

"Because momma tried to help the world. I tried to offer people what peace I could. And look what that got me? I carried your heads with me, I lost everything I hold dear. Let the world burn. I just want my family."

"Senju Ai, that's not what I brought you here for." The voice says, sounding annoyed.

"Fuck you. Fuck your plans. Fuck what you brought me here for. All you've done is show me pain, suffering, and death." I snipe. "I want my family. Nothing more."

"What if I could offer you that again?" The voice tries. "Offer you a chance to make a true, lasting peace." I want nothing to do with that. I want my babies. I want my family. Nothing more. Nothing else matters. "What if I could allow you to change it all? Rewrite the history you despise so?"

"What are you getting at?" I demand, my very being tensing.

"I give you your beloved. Your children. Your friends and your loved ones. All you need to do, is to grow strong enough to keep them alive." The voice says. I hug my babies. All my babies. I need my babies. "You're strength is needed. Not just for the Senju clan. But for the Elemental Nations."

"Then go bother Uzumaki Naruto. He's the one with the hopes to change the world." I counter. "My only ambition has ever been to safeguard those I love."

"Exactly." The voice agrees with me. "He needs you. And you need him. He shall be your compass. You shall be his blade." I grumble. What is it with that stupid voice that isn't listening to me? I don't care! I want my babies. I want my husband. All else is static.

"Sleep."

8-8

When I come to, the world seems blurry. Everything feels cold. Everything is too bright. I hear people saying and shouting things I can't make sense of. Giant hands handle me like I'm some sort of produce. Feel someone scanning me – Medical Jutsu.

"Perfectly healthy. Twenty-five-hundred and ninety grams, so a bit on the light side. I'm sure she'll be fine once she starts feeding." One voice says – the asshat handling me. Something is wrapped around my middle.

All I know, is that I'm screeching. Bawling. What the FUCK IS GOING ON HERE?!

One second I'm surrounded by my family. The next I'm here? Where's Jei? Where're my babies?! What did you do with my babies?!

Another something is wrapped around me, and I'm carted off, handed off to someone else. "There, there, Ai. Ka-san's got you." I hear. The only thing that isn't blurry is this woman's face. Silver hair, beady eyes. And two red lines running down from the corners of her eyes.

I try to work my head, to look around, but I can't. I can't do much of anything right. "See? You know your Ka-san's going to take care of you. I'll always be here for you, Ai-chan." I blink – the only thing I really can do. "It's alright. It's alright. But I'll be goddamned if you didn't make me work for it. Fourteen hours of labour? Could make your poor Ka-san suffer any more than that?"

I want to laugh. But that doesn't seem like an option. Whatever the fuck is going on, it's beyond my understanding.

"Milady, we need to wash you up for your husband." The other voice says.

"He won't care to meet a girl child." The woman argues. "Tell him her sex. And see for yourself."

"Be that as it may." The voice argues. "Would you not prefer to freshen up?"

"Shizune will tend to me. Won't you, love." This woman, she seems dismissive of that asshat. Why?

"Of course, milady." The voice says.

"There, see. Thank you, Hibachi. But I think I've had you between my legs long enough. Go bother someone else." Then I see it. She activates her Sharingan. Fuck.

"As you wish."

There's a long pause. A lull in the chatter. Either they aren't talking, or I'm too mindfucked to notice.

Now. Hold up. Let's try to see if I understand what's going on. I'm tiny, check. Vision's blurry outside of a very limited visual range, check. Can't control my body or chakra, check. Woman holding me says she's my Ka-san, check. Woman holding me has Sharingan, check.

Fuck. My. Life.

8-8

End Arc 4

8-8

End Broken

8-8

A/N: My writing style has been changing quite a bit. So trust me when I say, Water Goddess will not be the same quality of the Cosmic Comedy or Broken. Furthermore, neither story will be a needed to enjoy the sequel. For obvious reason.

However, let me say now. Water Goddess will NOT be fluffy, nice, or kind. Ai's memories, as you can tell, haven't faded. That means she remembers the man that killed all seven of her children. She remembers the trauma. She remembers, and she will carry that with her.