A/N: Hey. Consider this a gag chapter of sorts; because I'm not feeling well.

Despite a few trolls and...

...detractors, I'm still alive and kicking, for now.

Wanted to prove that I'm not dead, just REALLY sick.

Very weak at the moment as well, so this is the best I can do for now.

Also, someone threw Fate Grand Order at me, so I am TRYING to stay away from that. I've gotten horribly addicted T_T

So here we are, a quick interlude to grease the gears and prepare for next month's incoming update. Oh, did I say next month? Why, I believe I did!

Just think of this as a little interlude of sorts, because it certainly is~!

Suspend your disbelief and think of this as a gag chapter.

Thanking you all for your patience,

Sorry if this is short.

~Nz

"BAD GIRL!"

~?

Bad (Interlude)

Just what was this pressure?

Kurumi felt it like a wave rising over her head as Naruto returned to the room; an oppressive mountain threatening to crush her if she so much as said a word. The shattered door-frame and the scattered bodies outside certainly attested to that much. On a certain level she was impressed; on another, she wanted to turn RIGHT THE HELL AROUND and get the hell out of dodge. There hadn't been any blood, any tearing of limbs. She had barely heard their screams before he blasted them into oblivion.

Now she found he was stomping toward her with a gimlet look in his eye, one she wasn't sure she liked.

"Ara, that was very impressive...why are you looking at me like that?"

It certainly didn't help that the others took one look at his face and bolted. Kurumi thought about doing the same, but a hand clamped down on her shoulder and held her fast. The witty retort she'd been holding onto died on her lips as those blazing blue orbs leered down at.

Naruto didn't speak. Didn't even blink.

He just...exhaled, softly.

"Sit down."

Incredibly, she found herself listening; perhaps that was the fear talking. Perhaps she simply wasn't foolish enough to argue with him when he was in this state. Regardless, it didn't change the outcome. She'd scarcely sat before his arm whipped out and seized hold of her. Then he draped her across his lap on her stomac like a naughty puppy.

Kurumi blinked.

Once.

Thrice.

Nope, no dice.

All that emerged as a faint squeak. What followed made her jump.

WHAP!

She yelped.

"Why are you doing this?!"

"Because your little stunt had the army on my ass." the blond replied, leaving the blackette to massage her throbbing rear. "Do you have any idea how much PAPERWORK you just made for me? I'm going to have to make up an excuse on top of an excuse just to keep the rest of them raining down hell on my daily life. All because you had to open your big mouth. I can't kill you; I made a promise. But I have other ways of paying you back for this. So. In others word? Time for punishment."

The sealed spirit tried one last time to struggle; to no avail.

Then hand descended in a series of rapid slaps.

"SPANK-NO-JUTSU!"

A/N: Aaaaaaaaaand there we go! An ageless, immortal, or at the very least, ridiculously hard to kill, Uzumaki Naruto, in the Date A Live universe. A cross like this was actually easy to do, given its Japan and all, so I went with it easily. And to those looking forward to my future Naruto self-insert story, I can promise you its-a-comin'! As are my Bleach and Naruto one's. If you want to see my first attempt at a Self-Insert story with a twist, be sure to check out Not a Hero on my profile page!

I eagerly await your reviews and responses to both that fic, and this! Don't worry, Yoshino's scenario's going to be quite different from the one in the show, but I want to dedicate a full chapter to her, for that. Look forward to it, ya know!

So...in the Immortal Words of Atlas...

...Review, Would You Kindly?

No previews.

Really sick.

T_T

R&R!=D