*/*/*

3/3

I know there is a way

My future is not set

*/*/*

"This stone monument has been passed down for generations. It was never shown to other clans."

From the corner of his eyes, Madara glances at Tobirama. He sent him a message to meet him at the newly built Naka Shrine after finishing at the office. He must have put more urgency behind his words than he really intended to, as the Senju obviously rushed here as soon as he could. He's even wearing his official garbs still. That hat is in particular very annoying, it shadows most of his face.

Maybe because he thought Madara initiating any kind of communication with him, like sending a note, has to be the matter of life and death. After all, for over a month, they hardly talked to each other and even tried to minimalize the occasions they met. Since that last time, Madara felt uneasy to be in the other's presence, and surely it was mutual.

But something has to give. They are leading this village, their people together. It's only so long they can avoid each other. They need to put things on a normal footing or they have to part ways for good. It took Madara a while to come to a decision.

Disappearing from Konoha holds more appeal. He can say he tried, for Hashirama's sake, to stay and work for this village, even if it meant tolerating Tobirama. He tried and he failed – maybe it was a wrong idea all along, to follow the dream of his thirteen-year old self. He can hardly recall the boy he once was. He was tempted, so tempted to choose the easy way out. But it's also a coward's way.

"As far as I was able to decipher until now, what it says is: 'Looking for stability, one god was divided into yin and yang. The action of the two opposing forces changed all things in nature.' This logic applies to anything. In other words… it says that if two opposing forces cooperate, real happiness can be … there is another interpretation to it as well," it tempts him, of course. He can clearly see the two paths he can chose from. The down-to-earth, daily grind that leading this village alongside Tobirama means, the quarrels, disputes, the history of hatred between them, what they probably will never be able to overcome.

That other path, still hidden in his future. Following it seems safe. It's a lonely path after all, with nobody along to cause him grief. To exchange the dream of this village with it – he still thinks it could be his real dream.

"As there is always for these kinds of things. Let me get this straight, Madara. Are you saying this is about us?"

"Uchiha and Senju."

"That's how I meant it."

"I've been thinking things through, Tobirama. The way we are. The ways our clans are. This village, our place in it, and I made my decision."

"Which has something to do with your second interpretation, I guess?"

Madara frowns. That the Senju is being a smartass irritates him. He's being shown something the Uchiha has always kept to themselves. Madara is taking the pains to explain his decision to him, yet he acts as if it's nothing. But being pissed off is his natural state when dealing with him. Part of his mind keeps screaming at him for choosing to stay close to this man.

"Oh, don't act as if you know anything. Or as if I know nothing. I've taken everything into consideration. This is our village. We don't have to like it, but the two of us built it on Hashirama's dream. I'm not handling it over to you. I see where you'd take it, with your biased decisions. I see how you'd twist it, how you'd treat my clan, dishonouring Hashirama's wishes. Listen to this, you bastard," he raises his voice slightly, when Tobirama opens his mouth to interrupt him, and points a finger at him. "I don't care what happened between us. I'm going to stay here, and fight every nuisance that I think you do wrong and when you'll have enough and finally cast that ridiculous hat off, I'll be the second Hokage."

It might only be the play of the flickering torchlight, but he thinks he sees a smile on the younger man's face. The next moment it's gone and he nods slowly.

"It's due time that you pick your tasks as my counsellor up, yes. For these last weeks, you've been awfully negligent. I'm happy if you won't abuse your position further, and start to work."

"You pompous fool. I'm going to make you wish you've never been voted as the leader. I'm not going to let you rest, until Uchiha and Senju will live nauseatingly peacefully next to each other."

There's that smile again, Madara catches it for sure this time. He feels inexplicably free of weights now that he made his decision, even if he's not sure at all he made the right decision. But after this speech, there's no way he could run off and leave Konoha on the hands of Senju, and it somehow simplify things.

He doesn't know what Tobirama thinks of it all and how much he understood of what Madara left unsaid. There's no argument coming from him. He casts one last, curious glance at the tablet, gives him another small nod, before turning to leave.

"See you in the office tomorrow morning then," he calls over his shoulder. "Be punctual."

The bloody bastard.

*/*/*

Maybe because they were starting from hell, because they are through being horrible to each other and nothing they do can make it worse, but things actually start to improve.

Or it might be simply that they laid down all their cards. There are no secret, hidden agendas, suspected secrets left any more. They have given all their hatred and now something less violent starts to fill the void left in their wake.

They are who they are. They don't like each other, but they can start to learn to tolerate the other.

In many aspects they are similar. Neither of them are good men, but they are hardworking, smart and powerful. Cruel if they need to be, and ready to fight for their people. Their connection to Hashirama binds them together, with an invisible, but strong thread.

For months they just stick to business, the matters of the village. As a show of trust, Tobirama gives him more authority, more room to make his own decisions. It's all formal and awkward - like all of their recent communication - but Madara finds he actually appreciates the gesture.

They still argue, but they steer away from painful, personal matters. It never gets so heated that they'd be tempted to do more than just quarrel, and considering how their fights tended to end up in terrible, emotionally and physically painful sex, that's for the best.

When Madara is not away on a mission, they often stay long in the office, working silently together. Tobirama doesn't appear to have more of a private life then he does. He sometimes supervises the students of the newly formed academy - he even tells Madara once that if his duties would allow, he'd take a group as his apprentices. He even tries to encourage him to do so, saying The Sarutobi boy is really promising, but the Uchiha just snorts at the suggestion. He doesn't even teach the youth of his own clan, and he won't start with some snotty kid, who's not even his own blood. The Senju frowns when he tells him this, but doesn't push it.

On one of those long nights, when everyone else left the building hours ago, Madara catches Tobirama looking at him. When he raises a questioning eyebrow at him, the Senju doesn't turn his glance away.

"What it is?"

"Here," the throws a scroll at him. Madara catches it in mid-air. "I'm curious what you think of it."

He unrolls it carefully, although he's not seriously expecting a trap. He recognises the neat, if somewhat cramped handwriting of the other man, having seen it on various documents plenty of times.

There's a description of a technique laid down on the paper. A very complex, very well-thought one, a summoning so tricky that it takes Madara two reads to comprehend it fully. It's quite brilliant, and quite horrible.

The Uchiha keeps a neutral expression when he looks up at the Hokage.

"I'm calling it Edo Tensei," Tobirama says when the silence starts to get awkward.

"Fitting."

"I'm afraid Hashirama was always more creative with his jutsu naming."

"Super Katon Genjutsu Cutting Big Shuriken Double Drop Technique, eh?"

"Huh? What is that?"

"Never mind it. About this Edo Tensei of yours… It's quite something - if it works."

"It does. It's far from perfect yet - but it works," which means he tried it already. Imagining how that test had to go sends a chill down on Madara's spine. He knows very well, if he was the one who created this jutsu, what he'd use it for. He has no reason to assume Tobirama less cruel than him, less willing to go to the extreme.

"Answer me this. Who did you…" he trails off, unsure whether he's prepared to hear the truth.

"This is a weapon," Tobirama says quietly. "Shinobi villages are forming in the other Counties too. We need to make sure that we can keep the upper hand. I'm not using it for… personal aims."

"It brings the dead back."

"It does. But… we did our fair share in bringing back our dead already, didn't we? I don't need Edo Tensei for that."

"I'm not sure I like it when you try to appear wise. Are you saying that you didn't think about summoning Hashirama? Or…"

"Or bringing Izuna back, to torment you?"

"Or that, yes."

"Of course I thought about it," he sounds matter of fact. "But I'm showing you this, because I decided I never will. Whatever we may think of each other, we're now allies. And painful as I find admitting it, you can actually use your brain. That's why I'm asking what you think of it."

Madara looks back at the scroll. The urge to burn it with a well-placed jutsu passed.

"Here," he points it out on the parchment, "I have a suggestion for improvement."

Tobirama comes to stand by his side, and looks down to the scroll, frowning. They are shoulder by shoulder, almost, but not quite touching. He's taller than him by an inch or two. Funny how Madara never realized it before. He doesn't seem pleased with the Uchiha finding a possible mistake, and it doesn't take them two minutes to start to argue about the technical details.

"I give up for today," Madara throws his hands up hours later. It must be well over midnight. "We can continue tomorrow, if you're willing to listen to what I say.

They walk out of the office together and part with a nod.

"Madara," the Senju calls after him. "What was that Big Shuriken Double Drop Technique?"

"If you're not smart enough to listen to my improvement ideas, the Super Katon Genjutsu Cutting Big Shuriken Double Drop Technique is definitely too complex for you to comprehend."

"But what…"

"Tomorrow," he cuts him off. Really, it's the middle of the night, and all he wants to do is to sleep. He feels he'll be able to do so tonight without the nightmares coming to haunt.

Who knows? Next day he might really tell the story of that afternoon spent with Hashirama. If Tobirama will shut his mouth up and admit that he's right about his suggestions on Edo Tensei.

*/*/*

"The fact that all the first Kage of the five major powers could gather here for this meeting… this is wonderful. I'm really grateful. Thank you," Tobirama gives a somewhat stiffed bow of his head. In Madara's opinion it's still more than they deserve. The price of peace seems a bit too high if it means cooperating with the leaders of the other countries.

To varying degrees of how open they are about it, they all appear hostile. No wonder - Konoha is superior to them in power, in level of how organized they are, in the number of shinobi clans that allied to them. They all know that an agreement between them could only be temporary and of course they are suspicions that the strongest of them is suggesting it.

Very soon the negotiations turn into petty bargaining. Tobirama keeps his calm, only his shoulders get stiffer and stiffer, telling how he's losing his temper. Madara, standing behind his back, entertains himself with imagining the best way to kill the Kages if – when - it will come to that.

It's only the Mizukage who could cause him any difficulties, but even he wouldn't be a terribly serious threat.

The cheekiest, the Kazekage, is actually the weakest of them.

"If you don't accept my conditions, I'm not going to sign the agreement!" he is claiming. "Our land is all sand, it has no productivity…"

Well, that you could seize the protection of such an infertile country only, is not our problem, it is?

The suggestion to ally forces against the Wind is not surprising. It's Hokage-dono's reaction to it which is.

Tobirama stands up suddenly and smashes his fist against the table. The sudden noise shuts the bickering Kage up as they all turn towards him.

"In the past we've never needed to get along. We were protecting our own clans. Now we're protecting our comrades, our allies, so fights are often unavoidable. We are forming villages - this is something that my brother dreamt about and he left that dream to us - to Madara-san and I - to carry out. We are still protecting our own, which is human nature. Today, even if our five country agreement goes smoothly, I'm actually not sure how long it will last," he pauses for a moment, for the dramatic effect maybe, or simply to compose what he wants to say. All eyes are on him. "But I'm sure that my brother would have wanted more. Now, that I'm wearing the hat he should be wearing and have to listen to your argument, where it should be he sitting here, trying to reason with you, I'm starting to see the wisdom in his dreams. One day, in the future… I dream of a time when all shinobi will cooperate with each other. A time when everyone's hearts will be together, regardless of their countries. That's my - that is our - dream of a future."

*/*/*

They celebrate the success of the negotiations with having sex that night. It's just as surprising as Tobirama's passionate speech was and the way it soothed the dispute. Maybe it simply shocked the other Kage to agree on signing the pact. Surely nobody was expecting such naiveté, so many emotions coming from the notoriously level-headed Hokage.

Madara wasn't expecting it either, nor did he think he'd be moved by it. If anything, he should mock him for his grand words, tell him that he can keep on dreaming, but such a peace will never come true.

But he doesn't. It's incomprehensible, really. It must be the astonishment over thinking he can predict the Senju by now and finding that it's now true in all cases.

Tobirama has more surprises for him still, it seems. Back in the room of the inn he turns to him, silent, his gaze intent, searching Madara's eyes. Apparently he finds whatever he's looking for, as he leans close and kisses him. Madara, who reckoned they will analyse the meeting and discuss further plans, is completely baffled.

Ever since that genjutsu-incident, they carefully kept at arm's length from each other. In all honesty, after what happened, Madara didn't expect either of them would want much from the other. Yet, he returns Tobirama's kiss. It's all very down-to-business, no hesitation, no question asked of do you mind if I…? Which is how it should be.

It's different this time of course, still. First, they are not furious at each other, don't want to cause and receive pain. Then they undress - not just bare the necessary parts for a quick fuck.

And there is foreplay.

"What…?" Madara starts to ask when Tobirama slides down between his legs. "Oh," he adds without any eloquence, when the Senju, after the briefest of hesitation, takes his cock into his mouth. He manages to make him hard soon enough with his lips sliding down - surprisingly down - and up his shaft, his tongue playing with the slit at the top, his palm covering what his mouth doesn't manage. Madara doesn't think twice about opening this legs wide to give room to the Senju's seeking fingers as they glide down on his thighs, over his balls, then circle his hole, pushing inside to make him ready.

"Have you been practicing?" he asks with a certain level of suspicion, rising up on his elbows when the other pulls back. He watches Tobirama trying to lubricate his member with spit and finds himself feeling impatient, waiting for him.

"I don't like to be told I'm terrible in something," the other replies with a frown. The only reason Madara doesn't laugh at the image of him going to some unfortunate man, demanding to be let practicing the proper way to perform fellatio, is that he's already above him, hiking up his hips and positioning himself for penetration.

"Nice to know my opinion matters," he mutters rather. There's a slower, less intense kind of pain when Tobirama pushes into him. It's not pleasant, but really not unbearable either. Maybe they should use an ointment of some sort next time - if there will be a next time - as the dryness, the burn of the Senju's cock in him is wilting his own erection. It's less painful, but more embarrassing, the way Tobirama moves slowly, obviously trying to cause him the least discomfort and the way he searches his eyes. Madara has half the mind to suggest that they stop, or that they switch places - he can clearly recall that last time, the way the younger man arched under him in his orgasm, and he thinks he would like to see it again - but then Tobirama shifts, pushing into him in a different angle, brushes a spot inside him that ignites all Madara's nerve endings and shakes his body with pleasure.

He gasps, pushing back to meet the Senju's next thrust, wanting that feeling again.

"That's it," Tobirama says smugly, as if he's putting a checkmark on one of his bloody to-do-lists he always wants to enforce on Madara at work. The Uchiha grabs his hair roughly to drag his head down and kisses him, bites him and now they really start to fuck, and it's fast and hard, but enjoyable too.

For the first time Madara understands what people enjoy about this act. Their bodies moving against each other are meant to feel pleasure and cause pleasure, without second motives, without wanting to see the other suffering. Without his usual cynical frown, Tobirama's face is less hostile. The permanent, scarlet battle marks, his thin, reddish eyes, his pale skin and hair still give him a savage appearance, but it fits him. Or maybe Madara just got used to it. He doesn't mind seeing his face from so close, he welcomes his touches, the sensation of his muscled, powerful body moving above him, the feel of his cock deep inside him.

This time, for the first time, sex is only about the two of them, not their clans, their hurts, their village, not even about Hashirama. Madara can look at his partner without feeling disappointed for not seeing tanned skin, long, dark hair and a warm smile.

He pulls on Tobirama's short, fair hair, urging him on. It's soft under his fingers. Bites into his shoulder, into warm skin and taunt muscles when he reaches between their bodies, to grab Madara's cock to tug on it. Bites even harder when orgasm suddenly rushes through him, to suppress a whimper that wants to escape his lips.

He comes, and it seems to last for a long time until he gets down from the waves of pleasure. His pulse is pounding loud in his ears and he's feeling a bit too sensitive, yet it gives him a distinct kind of pleasure, watching Tobirama as he hunches above him, as his eyes close then open wide when he reaches his peak too, as he releases his seed inside his body. He keeps his gaze locked on Madara.

The Uchiha allows himself a few minutes to just lay on the bed, before he gathers his wits about himself and goes to the bathroom to clean up. There's almost no blood this time. Tobirama might need more practice still, but he's on the right track. It's possible that Madara will help him with getting more experienced.

*/*/*

Madara represses an impatient sigh. From time to time this happens - he comes to the cemetery, just to find Tobirama already in front of the grave and has to wait for the younger man to finish giving his report to his dead brother. He always waits, because he won't be scared off and because at the end there's sometimes things said that's worth eavesdropping.

It's just very frustrating to wait for him getting over the figures. How and more importantly why does he keep something like monthly tax incomes from weapon shops in mind?

"That's about it, brother," he says his usual parting words at last. "Everything seems to be in order. Since the pact of peace was signed with the other countries, we're doing better than ever," a pause. "You might also want to know that Madara and I… are doing better too," he sounds awkward, as always when he starts to speak about more personal matters. It's amusing to picture him and Hashirama talking, the older Senju all smiles and chit-chat, the younger so stiff and formal, yet wanting to break that barrier between them and be really open. He understands from the few tales Tobirama started to tell about his brother, that it was indeed like that with them. "We still argue of course," the man continues to tell the grave "and I guess we will never like each other, but we have… an understanding, maybe. A common ground. I, sometimes, on, erm, special occasions, even enjoy his company. I still miss you, and I think he misses you too. But we're managing. I think you'd be happy with that."

He touches the curve of the gravestone gently, before turning to leave. Madara moves a bit too early - Tobirama's steps falter for a briefest of moments, a sign that he noticed his presence, but he doesn't turn around and the Uchiha decides he won't be bothered by it.

"He's never going to say it out loud to you I guess," he tells Hashirama. "Just keeps beating around the bush. We're, for lack of a better word, lovers." He pauses for a moment, rolling the term around his mind. It sounds strange, but not as alien as he thought it would be. "You wouldn't mind it, would you? For all his faults, his biased, terrible personality, I'm sure you loved your brother. And he seems to think you loved me too. If that's true… well, it means you had a terrible judgment on which people you should waste your attention on. But also that you'd want us to be… happy. Or at least not as miserable as we used to be."

He mimics Tobirama's gesture and touches the stone. It is warmed by the autumn sun. Hashirama's birthday is coming up. They might come to visit together with Tobirama again, and stand here awkwardly, silently side by side. They can make a tradition out of it.

"I'm so new to this, you know. Moving on. I always kept my hurts and losses close. They gave me strength, a reason to go on. It's very hard to let the past go. Your brother struggles with it too. He killed Izuna. You killed yourself when I gave you that ultimatum. There's no way we could forgive or forget, but we can, or at least we can try to, look forward rather than back to the past all the time. That's what we attempt now. The two of us, we're the previous generation. We knew the other era. We knew you. You inherited your will to us and now we try to make the best we can out of it, to form this new age. Ironic, but nobody will be so close to me as he is. We have too much in common. He hates it as much as I hate it."

There's a sudden blow of wind, carrying fallen leaves. Madara catches one of them. It has a small crack in the middle, so he raises it before his eyes and looks at the grave through it. The Past Hidden Behind the Leaf.

"I still wonder how it would be if I stopped you that day. The two of us would have founded this village as we planned. Maybe we would have rebuilt our friendship. Maybe we would have become even more than just friends. I can't know for sure, can I? Maybe I would have left long ago. There's a second translation to that tablet, you know? I never told what it was about to your brother. I still think it's important. Maybe I would have followed it, if I haven't thought I need to stay here and supervise what Tobirama is doing."

He lays the leaf down on the grave. To prevent the wind from blowing it away, he weighs it down with a pebble, a smooth, round one. It makes him wonder if Tobirama knows how to skip stones. He probably could beat him in it and frustrate the hell out of him. He'd go and practice until his fingers start to bleed and try to best Madara for the second try. The thought makes him smile.

"I hope that if you're watching us from somewhere you feel reassured how much better we're faring now than we used to, after your death. On that note - I hope you are not watching when we're having sex. Don't think that I don't remember how you tried to check me out when I was peeing. Your family is full of perverts, and I definitely can't…you know. If I feel someone watching me from behind…But this is not what I came to talk about."

He pauses. He keeps rambling, although he visited the grave with a purpose today. He's not sure if anyone is listening, if there's any spirit of a man once called Senju Hashirama around to care about his words – so he decided he'll just say what he wants for his own sake. In the name of getting rid of old thorns. He's getting better in it and here, at the silent cemetery, these things seem easier to do. But even if he convinces himself that nobody is listening to his monologue, he needs to take a deep, solidifying breath to continue.

"There's something I've wanted to tell you for a while. I came to say thank you, actually. Thank you for not giving up on our dream even when I already did. Thank you for not giving up on me. Thank you for your faith that your brother and I can carry on without you, that we will be able to build a better future. Thank you for coming up to me that day by the river. Thank you for smiling so often and for those precious few occasions when I could feel so carefree. I'm happy that I knew you, Senju Hashirama."

Tobirama is waiting for him outside the graveyard. Madara shoots him a curious look as he falls in line with him, to walk by his side. He doesn't seem inclined mentioning how Madara happened to overhear him.

"You could come over to my place," he says mildly.

"I finished work for today," he glances at him from the corner of his eyes.

"Not to work. Just for talk and… company."

"You're breaking the rules. This is not how we do it."

"Even people like us can change, don't you think?" Is he being sarcastic, Madara can't tell for sure.

"What an… uplifting thought," to be sure, he keeps his tone biting. It doesn't seem to have the usual effect. Maybe he's losing his touch, if he can't even annoy the other man when he wants to, any longer.

"So?"

"Why not," he shrugs, as it doesn't actually sound like a bad plan. Tobirama is smart enough to have a decent conversation with - even if it is bound to turn into an argument - and that company part, as he calls it… well, that is pleasant as well. "But first… do you know how to skip stones?"

"Of course I do!"

"Then I challenge you. The river is right here, a few minutes' walk. Let's see if you can reach the other side."

"I'm the Hokage! I can't be seen playing a children's game with you!"

"Are you chickening out? Afraid that you'll lose?"

Tobirama glares at him. Madara bows his head, so his hair falling in front of his face will cover his smile.

"You can get your pitiful Uchiha self ready for a humiliating defeat."

*/*/*

FIN – thank you for reading!

*/*/*

The bittersweet taste of fate

We can't outrun the past

Destined to find an answer

A strength I never lost

I know there is a way

My future is not set

For the tide has turned

But still I never learned to live

without regret.

Anathema: Regret