Disclaimer: I own no characters except Kouhai and Sensei. Also based off Sora wo Daite, Oyasumi

Warning: Suicide-related, loss, sorrow, grieve, self-harm etc.

The Blue Left Behind is Not Enough to Paint the Sky

After turning around a quiet street, Kei found it - a small two-storeys house painted with the colour of milky white.

The nameplate indicated that he was at the right address, but none of the lights in the house are turned on. Kei rang the doorbell twice and was met without an answer.

'Is no one home yet?' He wondered out loud. 'Even though it's already this late.'

Kei was about to press the doorbell once more when a man in suit, -perhaps in his late twenties-, hurriedly jogged up to him upon seeing him.

'Excuse me, can I help you?' The man stopped in front of the black front-gate.

'Is this the Hijikata's house-' before Kei could finish, the man noticed the familiar face of the unconscious student on top of Kei's shoulder.

'-Toshi!? Wh-what happened!? Toshi! Are you alright?'

'It's alright. He had a fever early this afternoon but it had come down and he's just sleeping now.' Kei shifted on his feet. 'Sorry, are you Hijikata-Senpai's brother?'

'Ah, yes.' Tamegoro was startled and upon noticing that they're still standing around at the front gate, he apologised earnestly. 'I'm sorry for being inconsiderate. Please, come on in. Thank you for bringing him home.'

Kei went inside, muttering a low 'Excuse me,' as he left his shoes by the front door and stepped into an indoor shoes that Tamegoro had prepared for him. Upon entering the small house, Kei saw a modest living room attached to an open kitchen with a door next to the stairs that led to a second-storey. At the back of the living room, separated by a glass sliding door, was a small garden that seemed well-tended.

Hijikata Toshirou's place can be said modest and yet from another perspective, it can also be said that their lifestyle looked so peaceful, that it seemed superficial.

Tamegorou opened the door next to the staircase and ushered him in to a plain bedroom. Kei placed Hijikata gently on the mattress and Tamegorou helped him in tucking Hijikata into the sheets.

They backed away slowly into the living room, whereupon Tamegorou served tea and apologies for all the trouble that Kei had done in bringing Toushirou home.

'It's of no trouble at all.' Kei settled himself onto the sofa. 'I've been curious about Senpai's place and had wanted to come visit once. I just never imagined that I'll be visiting like this.'

'Haha… I bet.' Tamegorou returned with biscuits and tea for the guest. He settled onto the opposite sofa.

'I'm just glad that he has someone who would care about him at school. Toshi,- I mean, Toushirou, can be a stubborn guy and wouldn't tell anyone anything when it involves his well-being, after all. I'm glad you were there for him, Kobayashi-kun.'

'It's nothing. I've also been indebted to Senpai, so please, don't act so reserved. Just call me Kei.'

'Very well. It's been a while since Toshi brought a friend home. I hope you'll continue to come visit us, Kei-kun.'

'Of course, I'll gladly accept that invitation.' He chuckled politely.

Tamegorou placed his cup back on the table.

'So,.. forgive me for asking but, is Toshi getting along well at school?'

The question came softly and Kei picked up the change in the mood quite quickly.

'I suppose.' Kei could not give the positive reply that Tamegorou had hoped for, nor is he willing to deny the statement so strongly.

'…Did something… happen before?'

Tamegorou smiled awkwardly. 'Our Toshi is just a bit of an anti-social so he tends to be misunderstood by others. I think it's been difficult for him to make friends.' He snuffled a small laugh. '…even though he's good at sports and his school grades are to be admired, you do wonder how he can turn out to be so awkward.'

'Perhaps they're just jealous of him then. It's better to not have people like that as friends in the first place.' Kei casually remarked as he sipped his tea.

Tamegorou looked surprised. 'I didn't expect someone of your age to say something like that. You're more mature than I had thought, Kei-kun.'

Tamegorou fidgeted with his hands and looking down, he reluctantly admitted to Kei. 'Perhaps I should have been as mature as you.' He paused. 'Actually, it would've been better if Toshi just didn't have me as a brother. It was me who had been jealous of him. And I'm sure it was me who had changed him for the worse.'

An expression of guilt was unsuccessfully kept at bay.

'If you don't mind, would you tell me more about Senpai?' Kei gently prodded. The man sitting opposite of him tried to relax by crossing his fingers. He was half-tense in trying to relay the relationship of his brother with himself.

'Ah, Toshi and I are only half-brothers.' Tamegorou tried to keep his tone light, acknowledging the heaviness of the content of his words.

'Toshi was my Father's illegitimate child and he was adopted into the family when he was four. Ever since he was small, he has been good at anything he had put his mind into.' There were hints of past envy and bitterness in Tamegorou's words.

'I didn't handle it well, I suppose. I felt that he had usurped my place and I continued to resent him for that.' He glanced furtively. 'I know that the resentment is misguided but puberty brought out the worst in me. I know it was unfair of me and Toshi probably had an inkling of how I felt towards him since early on but he never said anything about it to me.'

'In my last year of high school, our parents were involved in an accident and I was left behind with Toshi and no relatives to really rely on. Luckily, it was a month until I was supposed to graduate and so we made do with the money from our inheritance and the two of us kept living in this house.'

It was a roller-coaster of emotion as at first, anger, jealousy, and then guilt, continued to colour his confession.

Tamegorou sipped his tea that is getting colder.

'I failed as an older brother. I didn't do anything to support him back then and he had found his own solace in his own way.' Tamegorou uncomfortably shifted. 'I was too busy wallowing in my own sorrow and also of my newfound responsibility of replacing our parents.'

'I'm sure anyone else could make the same mistake.' Kei could only offer gentle words of consolation to the melancholic expression in front of him. He did notice, however, of Tamegorou's reluctance to focus the story on Toushirou, and Tamegorou's confession was largely filtered with the guilt that he had been holding in.

Tamegorou looked up, and smiled sadly.

'I broke his trust two years ago, on the funeral for the death of his best friend. Since then, my relationship with him have been… rocky.'

Tamegorou crossed and uncrossed his fingers together - there was hurt portrayed in the kind brown-eyes that met Kei's own grey ones.

'Although this may be imposing on you, I hope you can continue to be friends with him Kei-kun,' he pleaded.

Kei couldn't break away from that gaze and although he knew that he may be promising something that he couldn't keep, he gave Tamegorou a small nod in response.

The sound of the door clicking open surprised the two of them.

'Toushi! You're up!' Tamegorou almost jumped up to a full attention. 'Are you feeling ok?'

There was a monotonous mutter in response but it stopped halfway when Hijikata Toushirou spotted the intruder in the living room.

He gave a wordless glare and instantly, his guard was put up.

'What are you doing here?' Toushirou demanded.

'I'm drinking tea and eating biscuits. Want some, Senpai?' A plate of biscuits were extended towards the raven-head.

'That's not what I mean! Who gave you permission to drink tea in someone's house!?'

'Toushi, don't be rude. He was the one to carry you home when you were feeling unwell.' Tamegorou chided.

Toushirou could not believe his ears. '…you carried me home? I didn't ask you to.'

'Toushi!'

'Next time, mind your own business!' Toushirou shut the door to his bedroom with a forceful slam.

Tamegorou faced Kei hesitantly. 'I'm sorry.'

Kei shook his head, showing that there was no need for Tamegorou to apologise on Hijikata's behalf. He smiled as if to say that that little display of anger did not bother him.

'It's already late so it's best that I head back.' Kei picked up his bag. 'Thank you for your hospitality.'

'No, it's me who have to thank you.' Tamegorou accompanied him to the front door and opened the door for him while he changed his shoes. 'Please don't take what Toushi said to mind. Do come again when you have the time.'

Kei nodded and walked out of that black front-gate to head the way that he had came from.

A/N: I hate life. I just want to write but I never had the time. Please blame my lack of update on life.