Courage- Rusty

Set at the end of Special Masters- James Duff has said the theme for season 4 will be courage and so I've been thinking about how this plays out for the characters. This piece fits in with my story Building a Family.

Rusty slammed the door as he left his mother's office. He left Andy in there to try and reason with her. He didn't know for sure if Andy would take his side but if anyone was going to get through to her it would be him. He ran his hands through his hair immediately regretting that he lost his temper. For one thing Sharon deserved better. Second he knew it was a poor way to win an argument with her. "Damn it" he said as he went into the break room where the two SWAT officers who had been on his security details were waiting for him. "Don't worry kid it will be over soon" one of them told him. God, he hated having them there. He especially hated that they called him "Kid" they weren't that much older than him. It was just another reminder to him that he still didn't have a group a friends or peers that were his. He had a family and he was unbelievably grateful for that. He had everyone in Major Crimes and they were just like family, but he wanted friends. He wanted to people his own age to hang out with, go to movies, concerts, things that normal college students did. He would like maybe even to date someone someday. None of that was going to happen with SWAT babysitters.

"Hey Kid, our shifts up but this is Officer Simpson. He's going to hang with you for now. See you later" they said.

"Oh Hey" Rusty said not really paying attention to the officer

"Hi Rusty, it's nice to meet you." Officer Simpson said

Rusty caught that he called him by his name which was a nice change from "Kid". He looked at him and noticed two things immediately, he was younger than the other SWAT officers and well he was really cute. Not model good looking like the other two but cute like real person cute. "Aren't you a little young for SWAT Officer Simpson?" Rusty asked him.

"I'm not technically SWAT yet. I just started training." He told him

'Oh, so I've been downgraded?" Rusty said remembering just how irritated he was by this.

"Sorry" the Officer said clearly unsure of what he was supposed to do.

"No, man, I'm sorry" Rusty started, "That was rude, snark is my default response to stress. It's a bad habit. Thank you for being here, Officer Simpson."

"How about you just call me Eric." He offered

"Sure, Eric, it's nice to meet you, I guess" Rusty said.

"So can I ask, why I have been assigned to you?" Eric asked him

"Well, Eric, that is a really long story. The short version is I am witness against a recently escaped serial killer and now my mom thinks I should have round the clock protection." Rusty told him

"So, is she asking Captain Raydor to order protection for you?" Eric asked

It was at that point that Rusty realized how little Eric knew. He debated briefly if he should fill him in or not but decided he just didn't have the energy.

"Something like that" was his best answer. "Hey, do you play Chess by chance? I could really use a person to play with not just the computer." Rusty asked him eager to change the subject.

"Yeah, I play a little" Eric told him not giving away the fact that he had won several area championships in high school.

Just then Buzz walked in, "Hey Rusty, Lieutenant Flynn and your mom are ready for you." He told him

"OK, thanks Buzz." Rusty said. "I guess I should go see what I'm in for. Wish me luck" he said to Eric

"Good luck, at least its Lieutenant Flynn and not the Captain" Eric said trying to be encouraging.

Rusty chocked back a laugh and quickly pushed Buzz from the room before he could say anything.

Rusty walked into the office trying to read his parents expression. Parents, he wasn't sure exactly when he had started to let himself think of them that way but it had happened slowly. Even before they had told him they wanted to buy a house together. Thinking of Sharon as his mom was one thing but allowing himself to think of Andy as his dad that scared him even more.

"First, I want to apologize. I shouldn't have yelled at you Sharon. I'm sorry." He told her sincerely

Andy nodded his head at him in approval. "Rusty, your mom and I would really like for you to reconsider a protective detail. We really don't think it will be for long." Andy said, "But we agree it's your decision and we think you need to make it and we will support it."

Rusty looked at Sharon. He could tell she was trying not to cry. God, he hated doing this to her. He owed her everything and for a minute he thought about agreeing to it, for her sake. He knew though he couldn't. He had to make this choice. He had to start living his life.

He took a deep breath before speaking, "Thank you guys. I know you are both scared, Hell, I am scared. But I can't let him control me anymore. I promise you I will be careful. I will be aware of my surroundings and who I get involved with, and I will be honest with you. Thank you for trusting me." He took another breath before finishing, he knew what he had to say next and it scared him. He had said it to Sharon often but usually she still said it first. He had never said it to Andy. "I love you guys, both of you." And he turned and left the office to gather his stuff. Sharon and Andy just stood there speechless in her office.

Rusty found Eric still sitting in the break room. "So how did it go?" he asked him. "Well, I'm free of protective detail. So I guess that means you are free to go. Thank you though for being here I do appreciate it." Rusty told him.

"No problem" Eric said and started to leave then he turned back to Rusty and pulled out his notepad a pen. "Hey, here's my number. You know if you are ever looking for someone to play Chess with or maybe just see a movie or something."

Rusty took the paper and looked at it and then back at Eric who was suddenly in a hurry to leave. "Yeah, sure, thanks." He said as he watched Eric almost run from the Major Crimes area. He stood there for a minute and stared at the number. He found himself totally confused by the situation and too tired from the last few days to try and figure it out right now. He stuck the number in his backpack and went to find his parents.

The following Thursday Rusty found himself at his regular appointment with Dr. Joe. They spent awhile talking about Stroh and everything that had happened. After a bit Joe asked him, "So what else is going on? Is there something else bothering you?"

Rusty rolled his eyes, "How do you do that? All right, well I think I might have met someone. That he might want to see me, but I don't know and then if he does then how do I know what to tell him about myself?"

"Well why don't you tell me a little more?" Joe said. So Rusty filled him in on Eric and how they met and what all had happened. "So he doesn't know that the Captain is your mother and Lieutenant Flynn lives with you guys?" he asked.

"Not so much" Rusty said.

"Well those would probably be pretty important facts to establish first. Just so he doesn't feel misled. That's never a good way to start a relationship. The other stuff you tell him when you're ready. That's part of your story you are going to have to trust people with one day Rusty."

"But how do I know if he's interested in me as someone to date or a friend?" Rusty asked

Joe laughed, "The same way we all do. You ask."

When Rusty left Dr. Joe he decided to go by and say hi to everyone. He was just getting off the elevators when he saw Eric coming down the hall. "Hey, Rusty, I'm surprised to see you here." Eric said

"Yeah, I was coming by to see if my Mom or anyone else needed lunch." He said awkwardly

Eric was clearly confused, "Your mom works here?"

"Um, yeah well, Sharon I mean Captain Raydor is my mom." Rusty stammered before deciding to put it all out there, "and Lieutenant Flynn is well she doesn't like the term boyfriend, but he lives with us."

Eric just stared at him in disbelief, "Oh, I feel a little stupid." He said with embarrassment.

"Please don't, I would have said something the other night but it felt kind of nice to have someone just talk to me as me." Rusty told him. "In fact, if you are still up for it. I would like to get together sometime." Rusty was now the one to feel awkward as he waited for Eric's response.

"Yeah, I would like that. I'm off tomorrow if you want to do something." He finally said

"Sure, I'm done with classes at noon on Fridays." Rusty told him.

"All right then just text me and later and we can decide on something." Eric said.

The next day Eric and Rusty met for lunch at a pizza place near the college. Rusty came in from class to find Eric already sitting at a table in the corner. It dawned on Rusty he had never seen Eric out of his uniform. He was dressed in jeans and a t-shirt and blended in with all of the college students. "Hi" Rusty greeted him looking around before he sat down. "Thanks for picking a table out of the way. I know it probably sounds crazy but I promised my parents I would take my safety seriously. So avoiding windows is a start."

"No problem, it is part of what I do." Eric said, "So what's good here?"

They ordered pizza and a couple of sodas. Rusty was surprised how easily conversation flowed between them. They talked about movies and bands that they liked. Finding they have almost the exact same taste in music. He learned Eric was 24 and from Arizona. When Rusty's phone beeped he picked it up it was Sharon. He usually texted after class and he forgot. Just checking in. I'm good met a friend for lunch. Ok, see you tonight. "Sorry, I know again it sounds stupid but I really am trying with my parents. I know how hard this is for them." He explained to Eric.

"It doesn't sound stupid at all. You guys have been through a lot." Eric said. "So, I know you and your mom don't have the same last name. Is it too soon to ask about that?" Eric asked hesitantly.

Rusty was quiet for a minute. He liked Eric he really did but he wasn't sure how much we wanted to tell him just yet. Rusty must have been thinking longer than he realized because Eric said, "Hey, I didn't mean to pry. You don't have to tell me."

Rusty sighed, "No, it's not that. Like I told you the other night my story is really long and there are a lot of parts of it that I am still working out for myself. Honesty is hugely important to me so I don't want to mislead you but there are some parts I'm just not sure I want to tell yet." He told Eric honestly

Rusty was shocked when Eric reached across the table and put his hand on top of Rusty's. "Tell me whatever you want. The rest can wait." They sat there for a few seconds and neither of them moved their hands. "All right, well for now let's go with the medium length version. My biological mother is an addict, she and her former boyfriend abandoned me at a zoo when I was 15. I was on my own for a while which is when I ended up witnessing Phillip Stroh kill someone. I was a material witness who needed special foster care and Sharon stepped up. I've lived with her since and a few months ago she adopted me."

"Thanks for telling me all of that Rusty." Eric said when he finished. They sat there for a while longer and talked. They were both shocked when they waitress came by and asked if they were going to order dinner they had sat there for so long. As they walked to the cars Eric spoke first, "So this was nice. Would you like to do it again sometime?"

"Yeah, that would be cool." Rusty said before getting into his car.

Over the next few weeks Rusty and Eric spent more time together. It was a new experience for Rusty. He had never actually dated anyone before. He had really never felt before what he felt for Eric. He wanted so much to talk to Sharon or Andy about it but he just wasn't ready yet. It wasn't that he didn't think they would be supportive he just wasn't ready for the questions that he knew would come. As much as they tried they were both cops and sometimes that was just too hard for them to turn off.

It was about two months later on a Saturday morning and Rusty was getting ready to go meet Eric for the day. Sharon was still asleep and Andy had been cooking breakfast, "Hey you want anything?" he asked Rusty when he walked through the kitchen of the condo. "No thanks, I'm going to take a shower and go meet up with a friend." Later when Rusty came back through he saw where Andy had made a tray of breakfast to take to Sharon. He smiled when he saw it. It wasn't unusual Andy was always doing things like that for her. In his entire life Rusty had never seen two people love each other the way those two did. It gave him hope that one day maybe he could have something like that. No, the tray wasn't unusual, but the small black box on the corner was. Rusty smiled even bigger, "It's about time" he thought as he decided he better leave quickly.

He met Eric outside a diner they both liked. Eric greeted him with a quick kiss and they joined hands as they walked into the restaurant. This whole thing was still so new and different but Rusty was liking it even if he still didn't completely know what he was doing.

"So, what did you tell your parents you were doing today?" Eric asked him

"Meeting a friend" Rusty said, "Sharon was still asleep and Andy definitely was thinking about other things this morning. They are going to look at houses and I'm pretty sure he's asking her to marry him." Rusty said with a smile.

"That's great, right?" Eric asked

"Oh, yeah, I mean those two belong together. I've never seen anything like it." Rusty said

After breakfast Eric and Rusty headed down to the beach. They walked and talked for a while before sitting down. "So I've been thinking I'm ready to tell my parents about us." Rusty told Eric looking down at their joined hands. "If you are all right with that."

"Really?" Eric asked, "I mean, yes. I'm not going to lie it's a little intimidating given who they are but I would like to feel like we aren't sneaking around either."

"I agree, I promised them when this whole Stroh thing restarted I wouldn't keep things from them and I feel a little bit like that's what I'm doing." He said. They sat there awhile longer neither of them really talking but just sitting with each other. Rusty knowing that he was starting to fall hard for Eric and knowing eventually he would have to tell him the rest of his story and wondering if when he did that would be the end of them.

Rusty left the library on Monday after studying for his Literature test with some friends from class. He was answering a text from Eric and didn't look in the back of his car. Getting to ride with SOB today, maybe I'll get to see some action. Rusty smiled he knew how much Eric had been wanting this, That's awesome…be safe he texted back, You too was Eric's response. Rusty was busy reading his text and didn't feel the hand come up around him at first, the next thing he knew a cloth was over his face and everything was dark.

Rusty came to feeling groggy and unsure of where he was or what had happened. "Well good morning Mr. Beck" Philip Stroh said in his usual menacing tone. "How are the parents and that cute cop boyfriend of yours? What is it with you and cops anyways?"

"Stroh" Rusty said realizing what was going on. "Where are we?" he asked.

"On campus still. I'm really sorry things between us have to end this way Rusty but I need to move on and can't do that with you still here." Stroh answered him.

"You are such an idiot Stroh. Killing me gets you nothing. Yes, I'm a witness but everyone knows who you are and what you did. They will never stop hunting you." Rusty told him

"You are probably right, but I will always know that I have taken care of the person responsible for that."

"See, you admit that I changed you destiny Stroh. You think you changed mine but from day one I changed yours and no matter what happens now you will always know that because I had the courage to do the right thing your life was changed." Rusty said, he assumed he was going to die today and he was going to leave nothing unsaid to this man who had tormented him. "And as far as being responsible for mine. That's pure bullshit. If I hadn't spoken up when I did. If I had chosen to run away and hide instead of calling 911 I would not have what I do today. My family, all of the good things in my life you did not make those things happen. I made those things happen when I spoke up. I made my destiny and no matter what you do to me today that doesn't change."

Rusty and Stroh heard sirens coming. Rusty silently prayed they would get there in time. "Get up" Stroh ordered putting his gun to Rusty's back and pushing him to a stairwell. He forced him up to the roof. Rusty knew that was one of the best things that could have happened. The airships would see them. He knew he just had to keep Stroh engaged a little longer. "In fact Stroh, your obsession with me shows just how much I changed your life. You could have run, started a new life somewhere, but you couldn't leave me. What does that say about you?" Rusty challenged him

"Shut up" Stroh said trying to figure out what to do next.

"Why? Does the truth scare you Stroh? That you don't know what you will do if I'm not around?" Rusty continued

"I said shut up!' Stroh yelled

Just then the door to the roof opened with Andy, Sykes, and Chief Howard pointing their guns. Rusty wasn't sure of everything that happened. He remembered the teenage prostitute line and Andy telling Stroh to let go of his son. Then the next thing he knew Stroh was dead.

After Sharon went to talk to Howard and the paramedics finished with him Rusty scanned the crowd of police and other responders. "Rusty!" he heard Eric's voice from the side. There was a crowd of people around and Rusty didn't know what to do. He wanted to go to him but knew Eric was working. He attempted to do what he had seen his parents do so many times. He tried to tell Eric with his eyes what he was thinking. Eric nodded at him seeming to understand. "I'm Ok" Rusty finally said.
"Rusty are you ready to go?" Rusty heard Sharon walk up to them. Not seeming to notice that Rusty was talking to someone. "Um, yea sure. Sharon this is Eric."

Rusty had texted with Eric that night but knew he couldn't get away to see him. They agreed they would meet the next day after Rusty met with Dr. Joe. It was awkward when Rusty had asked Sharon if he could bring someone to the family dinner that night especially since he hadn't asked Eric yet. He and Eric met up back at the beach where they had sat over the weekend. When they saw each other they stood in each other's arms for a long time. "I was so scared for you." Eric finally said and Rusty could see that he was trying not to cry. "I know" Rusty said taking Eric's hand a sitting down on the beach. "Eric, my family, and I mean all of my family is having dinner tonight at our favorite restaurant. I would really like it if you would come with me." Rusty said.

"I would really like that." Eric answered him quietly

"Well, before you agree and before we take this any further I think it's time I share the rest of my story with you because after you hear it you might change your mind about this and it you do it's OK" Rusty told him.

"Rusty, whatever it is you can tell me. I want to know it and it's not going to change anything." Eric said as he leaned over and kissed him.

"All right then you need to know about what I was doing when I witnessed Stroh kill someone." Rusty started and he told Eric everything. He told him things he had never told anyone but Dr. Joe. He told him about what it was like to dig through dumpsters for food. How it felt to sleep in an alley. Then after a few minutes he told him about how he eventually earned money to eat. He told him about the first awful time. He told him about how he thought about killing himself afterwards. He told him about the night with Stroh and how things had changed in his life after that. He even allowed himself to cry in front of Eric knowing that crying was part of honesty and part of courage. When there were no more words to be said he just sat there in Eric's arms for a minute. "So now that you know all of that. I completely understand if you aren't up for this anymore. I wouldn't blame you." He finally said

Eric moved back and looked at him, "Rusty, all of that is part of who you are. You might be the most courageous person I know…and I spend my day with people who do one of the most dangerous jobs in the world., but they have nothing on the courage that you have. Rusty, I love you." Eric said quietly.

They sat in Eric's car outside of Kat's for several minutes both of them feeling a little nervous and somewhat emotionally spent from their afternoon. "Are you sure you up for this?" Rusty asked Eric. "There are a lot of them and well they can be a little overwhelming." He laughed. Eric smiled at him and laughed, "Well you've assured me that your mom isn't as bad as some of the stories I've heard so I think I will be all right."

"All right then." Rusty said taking Eric's hand as they walked into the restaurant.

"Sharon, Andy you remember Eric. Eric this is the rest of my family" he said finally.

A/N: I hope you liked it! Rusty and Eric's story has been in my head since I started Building a Family. I especially wanted to explore what the process of opening up in a romantic relationship would be for Rusty. I think that sharing his past with someone he cares about will be a huge step of courage for him. Not to mention realizing that his courage was what changed his life to begin with. If you haven't read Building a Family it will fill in some of the missing parts for you. Please let me know what you think. This is my first story that doesn't focus on Shandy so I'm eager for feedback!