Okay, so once upon a time I posted this:

Heh, there needs to be a story where Auntie Artemis has found out she's an aunt when Jade drops Lian off with her and then Roy appears (maybe Artemis is with Wally and Roy's visiting Wally?) and he's all;

"Aw, Lian~ Who's Daddy's little girl? Who's Daddy's little girl?"

"Roy? Explain."

"Cool! We're like brothers! Like, real brothers. In the eyes of the law. Hello Lian, I'm your Uncle Wally!"

"Wally!"

And the message recipient CaraLee asked for me to write it. I took the chance to do so while on Easter vacation. Enjoy!


Auntie Artemis


The doorbell rang. Artemis glanced over at her boyfriend, Wally West, and sighed. He was spread out on the couch with his 'bro' Roy Harper next to him, watching movies and eating everything in the apartment.

"What is it?" Artemis demanded to know as she opened the door. Her week had involved chasing away people trying to sell her things and the guy next door who wanted to know what she was doing with 'that ginger'.

"Now is that any way to greet your sister?" came the smooth voice of Cheshire, sans mask.

Artemis spotted the figure resting in her sister's arms. A small, round face with a shock of red hair atop it. A clenched fist around the assassin's thumb.

"Why do have a baby?" Artemis asked, really hoping that this wasn't a kidnapping mess or something. Despite her occupation, Jade didn't like seeing children hurt. She could hurt them but she couldn't stand seeing them hurt by others.
"This is Lian. Say 'hi' to Auntie Artemis." Jade comically moved the hand Lian had gripped onto so it looked like the baby was waving.

"Auntie? Jade! What's going on?" Artemis found her arms full of wriggling baby as Jade pushed the kid into her arms.

"Take care of my daughter, sis!" Jade said, tossing a smoke pellet on the ground and vanishing.

Artemis blinked away the water in her eyes caused by the smoke and wondered how she ended up standing at the door with a baby in her arms.

Her niece!

She didn't even know that Jade had someone she could lower her guard with.


Wally and Roy were still on the couch when Artemis walked in with Lian in her arms. Wally was up in a moment and across the room.

"Where'd you get the kid?" he asked, taking the child from her. Artemis felt a slight pang of guilt at the relief she felt. Wally was much better with children than she was.

"Jade. Says she's her daughter."

"Da!" Lian giggled and wiggled in Wally's grip.

"Lian!" Roy cooed. He let the little girl grip his fingers before wriggling them. Lian squealed in delight as Roy puffed up his cheeks and made funny noises. "Who's Daddy's little girl? Who's Daddy's little girl?" he cooed.

What? Daddy's little girl? Artemis' eyes narrowed as she connected the dots.

"Roy? Explain." If he took advantage of her sister, she would take a certain important part from him.

"Cool! We're like brothers! Like, real brothers. In the eyes of the law. Almost. Hello, Lian! I'm your Uncle Wally!"

"Wally!" Artemis found herself wondering when they got married. While she was open to the idea, this had better not be how Wally was asking her.

"Come here girl," Roy said, lifting Lian out of Wally's arms. "I think you've given Auntie Artemis a real fright. She didn't know she was an aunt." Roy now seemed to notice that Artemis was glaring at him. "Hey, Jade insisted that she be the one to tell you. I didn't know that this was how she was going to break the news to you."

"You slept with my sister!" Artemis shrieked.

Roy stepped back and wrapped a hand around Lian's ears.

"Shh, there's a baby," he said. "Plus, I know that. How do you think Lian came into the world?"

Artemis took a deep breath to calm down, assisted by Wally's hands on her shoulders.

"You can't yell at him, he didn't know Jade as going to tell you like this. Wait until Jade comes back for Lian," he said, "she's the one you really want to yell at."

"Fine," Artemis hissed.

Wally and Roy took Lian back to their little nest in the lounge. Roy held Lian on his chest as they resumed what they were watching.

Artemis took one look at the movie and shut the TV off.

"You're not watching that with a baby," she said.

"Aw, Artemis!" Wally whined.

"No. Keep it PG."

"Artie!"

"Take it up with Jade. After all, she left Lian with us. I'm not going to let you corrupt my niece."

"But-" Roy started.

"I don't care what Jade lets her see. Lian needs somewhere where she's treated like the baby she is. And that means PG movies."


Artemis only stepped out for a minute. Or however long it took to go to the store and buy everything a baby needed.

She came back to find the couch stripped of cushions. The cushions had piled up around the couch along with the extra pillows from the closet.

Wally had somehow found a paper crown which sat atop Lian's head.

"Oh great princess," Wally was saying, "we shall defend Castle Cushion from the evil clutches of the clown." Only then did Artemis notice the creepy porcelain clown doll sitting on the ground before the 'castle'. It took her a moment to recall that Dick had sent Wally the creepy clown as a gag gift; before what happened to Jason, happened.

"Defend the princess!" Roy hollowed, holding up a toy bow which had also been a gag gift from Dick. He then fired little plastic arrows at the toy, purposely missing.

Artemis could have said something about how she said PG movies, not children's games. But, she decided to wash her hands of the whole situation and wait until Wally realised that Baby Lian would need diaper changes. He would remember she existed then, not that she was going to change the baby's diaper.

Roy was the father, he could do it.