A/N: Before anything, this is my experiment with grammar. And I must say, I kinda failed. Cut me some slack. I'm still learning the language. And also, I thought I'd exercise my sci-fi writing. I just love sci-fi. I hope this isn't too confusing. You probably should read the summary again at the end if it does get confusing though.
RUN!
Consider this Borgesian fabulation: The Book of Ages is a book that records every event in history; past, present, and future. Imagine now a that a woman starts flipping through the pages and reads the story of her life. The records show she will have read the Book of Ages and, later on, will act upon the information that she's received. She is going to avoid being run over by a car. But now that she knows this, she has a funny idea: What if she wants to be run over by a car? There is nothing that can prevent her from letting herself be killed. But the Book of Ages has had the foreknowledge that this woman will read the story of her life. The book must be right, but the woman can choose to do whatever she wishes to do. This is a contradictory situation.
Even as she will sit there, only slightly annoyed by the intensity of the sun that will beat down on them all, Robin will not be able to help the feeling of urgency that will squirm in the pit of her stomach. She will find herself clapping out of instinct when her boy hits the ball so hard she will be sure it's a homer. Her clap will be lost and drowned among the many other claps and cheers from the parents all around her, and she will start pumping her fist into the air and she will shout at Morgan: "Run honey! Run!"
A strong gust of wind will snatch Morgan's cap from his head and his hair will wave wildly as he races, his smile so bright that any light bulb trying to contain it will explode. He will look over his shoulder when the coach, his dad, starts whistling and cheering for him too. Robin will laugh at the sweet expression on her son's face, and her heart will ache when she looks at the thrilled expression on Gaius's face. He'll be freaking out. It will have been Morgan's first ever home run, and the kids will be sure to get ice-cream after the game.
She will relish this moment, because she hasn't been to any of Morgan's games since the shadows started taking over the world. She will feel the urgency simmering inside her, and Chrom's hand will land on her shoulder, firm and heavy."The kids are asleep."
Robin will try to ignore him as long as she can. He will not be making any sense. But his words will ignite something dreadful and unavoidable.
"I said," he will repeat. "The kids are sleeping."
Morgan will look at her, almost tearing up because this will be the first of many, many games that she won't miss again. She won't miss his life anymore. She will not be scared anymore. She will cling to the wire fence and shout louder: "Run honey! RUN!"
Even Frederick will be there. His boy will not be anywhere near, but that's because he will be sick. Frederick will walk across the field with his hand full of gun and he will have this look on his face, the look of an officer of the law when he knows he will have to shoot. Robin will spot the wrongness then. She will see the shotgun glint under the heavy sun and the urgency will boil. She will feel herself burn, and the skin on her forearm will bubble like pink tar.
She will scream: "RUN HONEY! RUN!"
And Morgan will look at the man approaching from the outfield. He will freeze for a moment, first confused and then frightened. Gaius will shout at him too, he will run to him but he will be too late. Frederick will have already fallen, and red will be blooming from his chest.
Robin will try to move, but Chrom's hand won't let her go.
"I don't think you understand." he will say. "The kids are asleep."
"RUN!" she will shout more vehemently.
The gun will be pointing directly at her boy, and he will be too frightened to move.
Chrom will grip her shoulder tighter as she struggles. "You have to deal with this Robin. The kids are asleep."
"RUN HONEY! RUUUUUUUUUUN!"
Her shout will have been shrill and loud, just loud enough to get to her boy. But he will only have time to turn around and see his dad flat on the ground before the bullet hits his back.
"The kids," Chrom will say. "are asleep."
Robin will watch Morgan fall, weightless, arms flailing outwards like a small dove's bloody wings.
"NOOOOOOOOOOO!"
"I'm sorry Robin." Chrom will say. "But the kids are asleep."
She will scream.
"NOOOOOOOOOOO!"
It's still early when she wakes up. It's past noon, but it's Sunday, so she doesn't have much to do. She never has much to do these days, actually. Not since the phantoms came. She can't go outside, because it scares her to see strange shadows lurking and sometimes approaching her and wanting to hurt her. The meds help a little; but only a little.
She breathes heavy and harsh. She's on the living room's couch because she was feeling tired and wanted to lay down and close her eyes, but only for a little while. She had never intended to fall asleep. But there's nothing to do about that now. Now she can't help the feeling of urgency boiling in her stomach. She gets up on trembling legs and suddenly smells something burn.
She forgot about the stew.
She sprints to the kitchen, trying to ignore the shadow she knows is just around the corner, behind the flower vase Morgan bought her for Mother's Day and sits prettily on the table Gaius built in his workshop. He does that when he's free; he builds things, crafts pretty stuff, when he's not coaching Morgan's baseball team. Recently though, he hasn't had much time for himself. He keeps worrying that she won't take her meds.
Or that she'll pop one too many pills.
The last time that happened it was Morgan who dialed 911 with shaky fingers and tear-stained cheeks.
She knows Gaius hasn't forgiven her for that, but he does a good job hiding his resentment. It's easier at night, because they go to separate rooms when Morgan falls asleep, but she suspects it won't be long before he has her committed.
She licks her dry lips and straightens her yellow cardigan, smooths some of the wrinkles on her grey Two-Button Denim Oxford Skirt. It cost her little over 50 bucks. It's impractical and wrinkles easily, but she wants to look her best. Maybe this way Gaius will know that she isn't such a mess.
She can handle it.
She's fine.
She has to be.
She wants to be.
She enters the kitchen and curses under her breath when she sees the pot's cover has already fallen to the floor, blown by the pressure and the steam.
She forgot to lower the heat.
She peers inside the pot and presses her lips into a thin white line. It's crap. It's crap! She can't salvage this. The chicken is all dry, tough, and ugly. The broth is still boiling though. She turns off the heat and grips the pot's handle, only to regret it when it stings her hand.
She curses some more.
She tries to ignore the nagging thought that says Gaius will really have her thrown into a padded cell if she keeps messing up. She can't keep hurting herself either; it scares the shit out of him. Not to mention that she fails to confirm whether she is alone at home.
She never suspected Morgan had been hiding under the dining table when she started gulping down the useless Loxapine and Clozaril and whatever other junk her bottles contain.
Now there's a nurse that lives with them. She's not bad, only a bit careless. But Robin doesn't like the way she looks at Gaius. She couldn't be any more obvious even if she started undressing and dancing on the table.
And speaking of that floozy... Where is she? She's supposed to help Robin around the house. That's not part of her job, it's not specified anywhere, but Gaius, with his infinite charm and heartfelt concern, managed to convince sweet Candy to lend a hand around. That is her name. Not really, but she likes Candy better than Candace. Her nurse's name is Candy.
Gaius likes her.
Begrudgingly, Robin calls her name to ask her where the balm is. But there is no response. Nothing. She goes to the sink and puts her hand under the cool stream of water and tries again to call Candy into the kitchen, but swallows her words when a shadow peers inside instead.
It just stands there.
Robin looks away.
She doesn't remember when she started seeing things. Time passes differently when she spends too much time inside the house. She has lost her sense of how the world moves in the outside, as well as some of her memories. The outside is just swarmed with the shadows. So she can't go out. They are smoky black, with little glowing red spots like blazing flecks of ash. The smell like charred things. She can't even look out the windows. She's too scared to even try.
She dries her hand with a dishcloth and pulls her oven mitts from a drawer. She turns around and goes to pick up the pot, glancing from the corner of her eye. She sighs with relief when she sees nothing but empty space at the entrance of the kitchen. Confidently, she picks the pot and spins on her direction to dispose of the ruined meat, but feels her heart jump up into her throat when the shadow reappears right in front of her. She's startled so badly as she tries to get away that she trips on her own two bare, left feet and falls.
The broth spills from the pot and burns her left arm.
She screams shrilly.
She kicks her feet as she crawls away, even though the shadow is not following her.
It just stands there.
This time, she starts calling Cady earnestly. But there is no response. She's not inside the house. Why isn't she inside the house?
Robin forgets stuff.
She runs to the dining room, where usually notes are left behind for her to read. She sees a white piece of paper on the table and picks it up. She reads it.
You were taking a shower, so I didn't want to bother you. Remember: It's Sunday. It's Game Day. Gaius and Morgan won't be back until later this evening. I went grocery shopping. I took the car. - Candy
Of course. Shower. Skirt. Candy. Stew. Dream. Dream? Game. Shotgun. Morgan plays baseball at the park and Gaius coaches the team when he's not crafting pretty stuff or caring for his schizophrenic wife.
He's a good man.
Today is Game Day. Today Morgan is going to strike his first homer, but more importantly, a madman with a shotgun is going to shoot her husband and her boy.
Today.
Dream.
Not a dream.
Game.
Park.
Shotgun.
RUN!
She dashes for the door, her arm aching but her hand itching to open the entrance door. She practically burst out of the house, but comes to a screeching halt as she sees only a cluster of shadows where the car used to be.
She curses Candy.
The shadows notice her, so she runs back inside and goes to the phone. She grips the handset, remembering that she doesn't remember any numbers. Her mind is a jumbled mess. She can't stop seeing Gaius flat on the dirt and Morgan flailing like a bloody dove.
The shadow from the kitchen returns. It advances very slowly, but the distance between them is not insurmountable. She dials what little she thinks is a real home number.
After the fourth tone, someone answers.
"Who is this?" Robin asks quickly.
A confused male voice responds.
"You called. Who's this?"
Robin lets out a sob, "Chrom?"
"Robin?" he says, surprised.
"Where are you Chrom?"
She glances out of the corner of her eye. The shadow is still there, advancing.
"Where…? I'm at home. Why?"
That makes no sense.
"Why aren't you at the game? It's Sunday. There's a game today!"
A silence stretches between them, and Robin feels the urgency kick her in the gut.
"I can't take Lucy today. She's sick."
Sick?
Robin gulps. "What about Owain? Is he sick too?"
Chrom hesitates. "Yeah. It's contagious. He was the first-"
"Come get me Chrom! I need you to pick me up! I need to get to the game!"
"What?"
"The game! I need to get to the park!"
"I… I can't. Lucy and Cynthia are taking naps."
"I need you to take me there!"
She can imagine what's going on inside Chrom's head. She can imagine the skepticism. Surely she forgot her meds again. This must happen all the time.
"Listen, I can't go anywhere. I'm taking care of my daughters. Get it? I can't go anywhere. The kids are asleep."
"What?!"
"I said," he repeats. "The kids are sleeping."
Robin feels the shadow getting closer, closer, closer.
She bites her lip. The urgency boils. Her eyes harden.
"I have a gun, you hear me? I'm going to the park. I'm taking the gun with me. I'm gonna shoot Gaius."
Silence. Then…
"Wha-?"
Robin hangs up.
He's going to call Frederick. He has to. He can't let what he thinks is a madwoman with a gun go to a park full of children to shoot her husband without calling the authorities. He has to call Frederick. This lie ought to give her a little time. Frederick is the first one to go down. He has to be there, so he can take the first bullet.
He ought to give her a little time.
She sees the shadows entering the house, so she runs to the living room, snatches her shoes and goes out through the back. She slips her feet into her slacks once she is outside, and then gains speed. She doesn't need to remember where the park is, she just needs to get into the street and let instinct do its thing. She used to drive Morgan to that park so many times that she could have done it with her eyes closed.
The streets are a blur. But she doesn't need to see. She turns when she needs to turn. She speeds up when she knows she can. She just needs to get there in time.
She doesn't know when she started seeing things. She has vague recollections, but nothing too important. Nothing that can be pieced together to make sense. Just shadows. Shadows and the urgency that simmers in the pit of her stomach.
She wants to tell Gaius. She only found out about a month ago. But it's never the right time. She doesn't want it to sound like it's her bargaining chip. She wants him to be happy about it when she tells him, because even though he only took her that time because he had wanted to shut her up, because he had only wanted to reassure her that he didn't think about Candy, even if there had been no love in it, they created another life.
Her lungs burn when she spots the crowd. Shadows are creeping in from every side of the road, but she's not concerned about them anymore. Frederick is already there, he's talking to Gaius, who looks pale as a ghost, his wide eyed are incredulous and he shakes his head at whatever Frederick is saying.
"Frederick!" Robin shouts.
Some heads turn to her, but not anyone she knows. The kids are occupied with their game. Morgan is looking ready to swing.
"FREDERICK!" she yells and waves at him.
He sees her. He lifts his arm and tells Gaius to stay where he is, and then starts jogging to where she is, his right hand gripping his gun.
"Over there!" Robin shouts and points in the direction of the outfield.
"Robin, I need you to stop! Stand where you are!"
"Not me! Over the-!"
Morgan hits the ball so hard it goes out of the park and the kids from the opposite team whine loudly because they aren't allowed to run out into the street. It's a homer.
"HOME RUN!" somebody shouts.
And the crowd goes wild.
Robin feels the urgency snap. She takes advantage of the fact that Frederick is not crazy enough to shoot a boy's mother on the day of his first home run, so she dodges him. She sees Gaius out of the corner of her eye. He's confused, trapped in the whirl of cheers and his wife running around like a disheveled maniac.
"Robin!"
"Morgan!" she yells.
Her boy, who is about to steal second, reacts at the sound of her voice. He slows down, much to his teammates' confusion. When he sees his mom, he smiles.
"Mom! Did you see?!"
Robin laughs through the tears and opens her arms. Morgan can't deny her this.
Morgan takes the first step toward her when, suddenly, the crowd gasps. And he freezes, and looks over his shoulder because all the kids are running back. Robin is closer to home plate than the pitcher's mound, so she puts what little extra strength she can into her legs.
"Morgan!" it's Gaius who screams now as he hurries over too. "Run! Go to your mother!"
The man with the shotgun has appeared out of nowhere, apparently. Frederick is alert of him too, and he's pointing with his gun. He has that look, like when an officer of the law knows he has to shoot.
The first shot is from the stranger. And Fredrick falls. Morgan is crying at this point, and Robin is desperate to get to her boy.
"RUN HONEY! RUN!"
As he trips and falls, Robin catches sight of the madman and lunges forward. One last effort. One giant leap of faith.
"RUN TO YOUR DAD!"
The bullet that was meant for Gaius is redirected at her boy, but since her giant leap of faith has paid off, it's her that it meets.
And there is pain, and tears, and the hoarse shout of a man she has hurt more than she ever expected.
Morgan is still under her, and she knows he's scared out of his mind, but she tells him to run, run to his dad. He shakes his head.
The third shot is unexpected. Robin thought Frederick would be dead by now. But he manages to point straight at the madman's head, and his aim is perfect. It's all over now.
Her eyes begin to close, but before she can drift into the warm darkness, she sees one final shadow that creeps over Morgan's head.
"The kids are asleep." Chrom says to her.
This doesn't make sense.
She changed things.
"I'm sorry," he repeats. "The kids are sleeping."
She changed things.
"The kids are-"
"NOOOOOOOOOOO!"
It was still early when she woke up. It was past noon, but it was Sunday, so she didn't have much to do. She never had much to do those days, actually. Not since the phantoms came. She couldn't go outside, because it scared her to see strange shadows lurking and sometimes approaching her and wanting to hurt her. The meds helped a little; but only a little.
She breathed heavy and harsh. She was on the living room's couch because she had been feeling tired and had wanted to lay down and close her eyes, but only for a little while. She had never intended to fall asleep. But there was nothing to do about that now. Now she couldn't help the feeling of urgency boiling in her stomach. She got up on trembling legs and suddenly smelled something burn.
She'd forgotten about the stew.
She sprinted to the kitchen, and tried to ignore the shadow she knew would be just around the corner… standing behind the flower vase Morgan had bought for her for Mother's Day…
And her arm already hurt.
So she ran for the door, and forgot her shoes.
The Book of Ages is a logical impossibility. The woman can't have seen into her future, or at least, she won't admit it, because her own husband might think she's crazy. She can't have seen into her future and decided to change things, because if she does, the future will change, but it can't have changed. It isn't written that way. The book knew she'd read the story of her life. It was written knowing that. But she can still choose to change it. She might want to have died.
She might will want to have be dead.