Ch. 4: Marriage Mayhem

Moonlight gleams across the stained glass of Shredder's lair.

Inside, Karai sits in her room methodically wrapping bandages around her midsection.

She uses a kunai to slice the last bandage, and ties it tight.

Gently, she lays down the kunai next to the framed photograph of her and her mother…and then reaches over and picks up the photo.

She stares at the picture as voices echo through her head.

A true ninja cannot afford to show mercy.

An evil little witch with a heart as cold as her daddy's iron helmet.

I know that deep down you're a good person.

She tilts the frame so that the glass reflects her searching eyes.

"Who are you?"

Back at the lair the turtles sit around watching the latest installment of Super Robo Mecha Force Five.

Captain Coolstar and his crew stand on a barren wasteland planet surrounded by two destroyed fleets of ships as the Gundalien and Squeposian generals glare each other down in front of them.

"You still believe you have a chance against my powerfully awesome power?!" asks the Gundalien general.

"Your powerfully awesome power is no match for the super powerfully awesome power of my power!" retorts the Squeposian.

"RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

"RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

The two generals attack each other with giant laser swords.

"Captain!" shouts Dr. Blip. "What are we going to do?!"

"I'll tell you what we are going to do!" says Captain Coolstar. "Follow me!"

The crew slowly creeps away from the two battling bad guys, gets into their mecha, and flies away leaving the bad guys behind.

Raph rolls his eyes.

"Pffft. That's gotta be the lamest ending ever. Who would even do that?"

"You mean that thing we just did to get away from Karai and Clicky?" asks Donnie.

"Manta-sister!" shouts Mikey. "I don't care what she says."

"I'm just glad to be away from them." says Leo stretching out on the couch. "I figure while those two duke it out I'm just gonna lay here until this whole thing blows over."

An alarm BLARES across the lair.

Leo bolts up.

"What's that?"

"It's my police scanner." says Donnie. "I modified it to send up an alarm every time it detects a mention of a possible mutant."

The four turtles run into the lab where Donnie checks his scanner.

"It says there have been multiple reports of an insectoid 'freak' breaking into stores all across town."

"Please tell me it's Spiderbitez." begs Leo desperately.

Donnie smiles at him nervously before flipping a switch causing an officer's voice to come over the scanner.

"Yeah, Mac, we got a robbery down at the bridal boutique on 22nd and Main. Looks like some kind of mantis lady, but…oh, no! She's comin' at me! Aaaaaaah!"

Static.

Leo groans!

Up top the guys sprint across the rooftops with Leo hanging towards the back.

"According to the police scanner," says Donnie. "Clicky was last seen heading in this direction."

They continue running until Mikey suddenly stops.

"Uuh, guys. I think I found her trail."

Everyone runs back to where Mikey's standing.

They look down at the street to see a flower shop with the front window smashed in, and pink graffiti painting a cute, romantic picture of Clicky and Leo across the sign.

"Well, no one can accuse her of being subtle." comments Raph as he rolls his eyes.

Raph and Donnie leap from the rooftop.

Leo stares fearfully at the store.

Mikey hums "Here comes the bride."

"Knock it off!" shouts Leo as Mikey dodges a smack to the head and leaps down to the street laughing.

Leo jumps down to join his brother as they slowly enter the store.

The four turtles creep through the rows of flowers, cautiously keeping a look out for any sign of danger.

As Mikey stealthily moves through the aisles he stops to sniff an orchid.

"Mmmmmm." hums Mikey. Suddenly, his nose starts to twitch. "Ah…Ah…choooo!"

"Shhhhhhhhh!" shushes Raph. "Will ya keep it down?!"

"I sneezed! What did you want me to do? Hold it in till my head explodes?"

"Raph's right." says Leo. "She could be anywhere, so we have to be extra—"

"NINJA STRIKE!"

Clicky suddenly leaps down from the ceiling behind Leo, and shoves a rag over his mouth.

Leo struggles for just a moment before falling limp into her arms.

"Leo!" shouts Raph.

The guys charge towards Clicky.

She leaps back through the air.

"Ninjaaaa caltrops!"

She scatters sharp pieces of metal across the ground causing the boys to dance as they try not to step on them.

"These aren't caltrops!" shouts Donnie. "They're nails!"

"She's stealing our ninja thing!" shouts Mikey.

Outside the store Clicky flies up from the road onto a nearby rooftop.

She holds Leo in her arms.

"Awwwww, cute even when unconscious."

She gently strokes his head just as the other turtles leap up onto the roof behind her.

"Give him back!" shouts Raph.

The turtles charge.

Clicky turns with a smile as she holds up a large, white ball.

"Ninjaaaa smokescreen!"

She tosses down the ball creating a massive cloud of white powder.

The boys all cough.

"Is this baby powder?!" shouts Donnie.

"Okay! Now she's just being offensive!" shouts Mikey as he chocks on the dust.

As the last of the powder dissipates into the air the three brother look around only to find Clicky gone.

And Leo with her.

Darkness.

"Wakey wakey, Leo."

Leo groans as his eyes slowly struggle to open.

"Time to get uuuup."

With a final surge of effort Leo's eyes flutter open only for him to wince seconds later at his pounding head.

"There he is!" says Clicky, practically beaming in front of him

Finally reorienting himself, Leo takes in the image before him, namely that of Clicky sitting across from him at a romantic, candlelit dinner for two set smack dab in the middle of an abandoned warehouse.

He starts to get up only to find himself wrapped in a cocoon of chains from the shoulders down.

He struggles frantically.

"I'm soooo glad you're awake." comments Clicky, completely oblivious to his struggles. "I've never actually used chloroform before so I didn't really know how long you'd be out. Luckily you woke up just in time for the fondue."

She plucks a skewer from the fondue pot, the cheese cascading off it in long, golden cords.

"Open wide!"

"Clicky, wha—"

Clicky shoves the fondue stick right in his mouth, silencing him.

"Oh, you look so adorable all covered in cheese."

Leo quickly slurps down the fondue before continuing.

"What is all this?"

"Our romantic getaway, silly! Complete with dinner for two."

Leo starts to speak again only for another fondue skewer to fly right in his mouth.

"My mother always said the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. Granted she was talking about devouring prey, but we'll get to that later."

Leo spits out the fondue.

"You can't keep me here!"

"Of course I can!" says Clicky fluttering to his side. "I have the whole night planned out. A romantic dinner, dancing, all leading up to a magnificent proposal!"

"Proposal?!"

"Oooooh, you're right! Who needs a proposal when we're already so much in love? We'll skip straight to the wedding. I even picked up the priest."

She gestures to the side of the room where a priest sits wrapped in chains with a horrified expression.

"Help me."

Back on the rooftop Raph and Mikey rage, pacing angrily across the roof as Donnie examines the baby powder residue.

"I can't believe that nut job!" yells Raph. "Who does she think she is kidnapping Leo like that?"

"Yeah!" yells Mikey. "And who does she think she is trying to be all ninja-y? That's our thing!"

"Clicky may have attempted to be a ninja." says Donnie smiling. "But that doesn't mean she succeeded."

He looks up as Raph and Mikey follow his line of site to a trial of baby powder covered footprints.

They smirk.

Back at the warehouse, Clicky swings Leo across the dance floor in a wild dance as romantic music plays.

"Isn't this romantic?" says Clicky. "I know most couples wait until after the wedding to have their first dance, but I figured you'd enjoy it much more while you still have a head."

"You could always not eat my head?" suggests Leo nervously.

Clicky laughs.

"Oh, Leo. You're so funny! Now let the wedding commence!"

CRASH!

Just then Donnie, Raph, and Mikey SMASH through the window, immediately rolling into battle poses.

"I object!" shouts Mikey.

"We haven't even gotten to that part!" retorts Clicky angrily.

"Oh. Well I still object!"

"Release the groom!" shouts Raph, leveling his sai.

Clicky growls.

CRASH!

Everyone turns just as an army of footbots BURST through the windows on the other side of the building.

Raazar and Fishface pull apart the lower doors before stepping aside to reveal Karai, striding powerfully into the building.

Clicky SCREAMS!

"Why can't you people just be happy for us?!"

Leo looks at Karai with pleading eyes.

She stares at him, then surveys the whole scene.

She draws her blade, and levels it straight at the furious Clicky.

She holds it there for just a moment before shifting it to Raph, Donnie, and Mikey.

"Destroy the turtles!"

The footbots charge.

The turtles and robots collide as the whole warehouse erupts into a giant, chaotic melee!

Footbots charge at Leo, weapons drawn, only for Clicky to quickly slice them to ribbons.

"That is it!" shouts Clicky. "No more interruptions. We are doing this NOW!"

She stalks over towards the cowering priest on the floor.

On the other side of the room Karai climbs a long chain into the metal rafters of the warehouse.

As she gets to the top she looks down to see Clicky heading for the priest.

She glares.

Clicky jerks the priest off the ground.

"You. Marry us. Now!"

"I-it's strictly against church policy to—"

"Ugh! You're useless!"

With one hand she grabs the priest's book and then HURLS him through the air.

The priest SCREAMS right before Mikey LEAPS through the air and catches him, rolling the two of them to safety.

"I gotcha, Padre."

"Bless you." says the priest gratefully.

He passes out.

Clicky opens the book.

"Dearly beloved, blah blah blah. Do I? I do. Do you? You do. Congratulations. We're married!"

She shuts the book and tosses it away.

"You may now kiss the bride!"

Clicky opens her monstrous maul lined with razor sharp teeth as she leans in towards Leo's head!

Leo SCREAMS!

BAM!

Everything moves in slow motion.

Leo stares, his heart beat echoing in his ears.

To his right, Clicky, her razor toothed maul contorted in pain from a foot straight to the face.

And to his left, Karai, her hands grasping the chain she used to swing down from the ceiling and her foot extended into one massive, high velocity kick.

Leo stares in shock until—

Real time.

Clicky hurtles across the room at maximum velocity before SLAMMING right into a stack of wooden crates that all come crashing down on top of her.

Karai swings upwards, completing her arc, before flipping through the air and landing right in front of Leo.

Leo stares up at her with an awestruck expression.

She looks down at him before leveling her sword right at his face.

"Get away from my brother!"

Karai turns just as Raph grabs a metal barrel and hurls it straight for her.

She dodges to the side causing the barrel to hurtle right past her and straight towards Razaar.

"Bradford! Look out!"

Razaar looks up to see the oncoming barrel.

Clicky woozily sits up from the rubble, rubbing her head right when—

SLICE!

Razaar's claws slice neatly through the metal barrel right before Clicky's eyes.

Clicky's stares, awestruck as everything turns into a pink tinted slow motion.

"Those razor sharp claws. That built, toned physique! That beautiful…succulent…head."

Real time.

The metal shards of the barrel fall around Razaar.

"You'll pay for that, turtle!"

Just then Clicky flutters up to his side and wraps her arms around him.

"Hi, my name's Clicky. What's yours?"

"Uuuuugh, what?"

Clicky calls out. "Leo! We're through!"

She turns back to Raazar.

"So, how do you feel about marriage?"

Raazar, baffled, looks to a smirking Karai.

"I'd run now if I were you."

Raazar looks to the side where Clicky's tickling his chin before he throws her off and bolts straight from the warehouse.

Clicky flutters for a moment.

"Wait! We have so much in common!"

She chases after him.

Karai smiles.

Just then a footbot skull rolls to her feet.

She looks up to see Raph, Mikey, and Donnie helping a now unchained Leo to his feet, the bodies of the remaining footbots littered around them.

Leo looks to Karai.

"You saved me."

Karai glares.

"The only reason I helped you was because I couldn't stand that mantis."

"Manta-sister." corrects Mikey.

"Give it a rest." says Raph.

"Mark my words, turtles." intones Karai. "When the time comes, you will fall. By my hands."

She throws down a smoke bomb.

And disappears.

"What a jerk." says Raph, sneering.

"I don't know, Raph." says Leo smiling. "I think there might be more good in her than she's letting on."

"Soooo, does these mean you and 'Clicky' are married now?" asks Mikey.

Leo looks to the priest.

"Father?"

The priest trudges wearily towards the door.

"As far as I'm concerned this entire incident is divine punishment for eating six microwave burritos before bed."

Leo watches him exit before looking back at Mikey.

"I'm taking that as a no!"

"I wonder whatever happened to Clicky, anyway." questions Donnie

Razaar runs down the streets SCREAMING as Clicky follows behind him.

"Come back! We're meant to be together! You can't run away from love!"

On Razaar's terrified expression.

THE END

Author's Note: And it. Is. DONE! The last chapter of Lethal Love is finally complete! YAAAAAAAAAAAAY~! Thank you all so much for sticking with me through this whole story, and a big, super sappy fanfiction shout out to my pal Niko56 to whom this entire story was dedicated. LOVE YOU NIKO~!

You all have been such amazing readers. I couldn't ask for more kind and dedicated people to share this whole experience with. You guys ROCK OUT LOUD! I can't wait to see you all again as we journey across this giant story landscape that we call fanfiction. Until next time!