Chapter eighteen: The cracks begin to form

warnings: cursing (I guess)

John walked into the kitchen looking at the toaster the next morning

Sherlock had gotten one of the fingers stuck in the toaster and while his experiment had rendered results he was having a hard time getting it out, especially one handed.

"Sherlock holmes what the bloody hell did you do to my toaster!"

Sherlock jumped and turned glancing wide eyed at his love. He tried to grin sweetly and. Twisted his fingers into his housecoat.

"I was doing an experiment on decomposition of a burned finger but I got it stuck." He batted his eyelashes trying to be cute.

"I'm going back asleep, and if it isn't out, you're in trouble" he went back to bed

"Oh I'm so scared." Sherlock snarked under his breath.

In his annoyance he left the toaster as it was and went to dress. Grabbing his phone, jacket and scarf he texted Molly asking if she had any body parts letting himself out into the cool London air.

John woke back up at around twelve

Sherlock was still out wandering the city, Molly had promised him a liver and spleen but he had to wait to pick it up. In the meantime he wandered seeing if there was a case to be had.

Something caught his eye and he grinned going towards it.

John walked into the kitchen

-your items are ready for pickup.-

Sherlock read the text from Molly and hailed a cab.

John looked over at the toaster

Sherlock ended up taking a look at the body. Lestrafe was there and he took pleasure in snapping at the man and leading him in the direction of the correct murderer. He didn't even need to go on the chase, the man was downstairs pretending to be a living relative. Dull.

Watson decided to called sherlock

"Sherlock Holmes." He answered crisply not bothering to look at the caller id, his mind on one of the other bodies with a fascinating fungus growing on it.

"Get. Home. Now!" He shouted down the phone before hanging up

Sherlock blinked at his phone, hmm apparently he'd done something not good again. He started towards the door when another angle of the fungus caught his eye.

He clapped his hands in excitement and dove back over with his magnifying glass talking a mile a minute as Molly took notes, another hour passed as he started studying the other side of the body.

Meanwhile a knock came to the door of 221B. Mrs. Hudson answered and signed for a package for John. Carting it upstairs she placed the box in front of John, the paper was peeling and she could see it was s brand new state of the art toaster.

He sighed "he's still in trouble"

Sherlock whistled as he let himself into the flat carrying the liver, spleen and a large sample of the fungus. He was bouncing with excitement to look at the fungus under the microscope.

He shuddered as he went into the warm building, the sun having set a couple of hours ago. Shedding his coat he took the stairs two at a time and burst into the kitchen setting his bag down and digging around until he found slides and pitri dishes.

He talked speedily under his breath, mentally reminding himself the tests he wanted to do.

John walked in "you think you can just buy me a new toaster and you won't be in trouble?"

"I couldnr get the finger out of the other." He stated absently clearly focused on making his slide. "I'll have to take it apart so I can finish the experiment." He mused

He was sitting on the stool leaning over, safety goggles on he carefully scraped a sample onto one of the slides.

Sarah Rossiter Graham

4/6, 2:19pm

Sarah Rossiter Graham

"Fine, you're sleeping on the couch and we aren't having sex for two weeks" he left the room

Alaina Douglas

4/6, 2:23pm

Alaina Douglas

Sherlock turned sharply and narrowed his eyes. That was harsh! He had broken the toaster and replaced it! Wasn't that what you were supposed to do?

Thinking about the interaction and the social part and John's anger began to agitate him. He couldn't understand, he didn't understand. He'd done the right thing. Angrily he tugged his hair before snapping.

"Fine I can last without sex unlike you and that's my bedroom so you can sleep in your room or the couch! he snapped back gathering his microscope and experiments storming to his room slamming and locking the door.

Rather than experimenting though he slid to the floor gripping his hair with his good hand and trying to understands. Maybe he shouldn't have gotten into a human relationship he clearly was never going to understand them.

Sarah Rossiter Graham

4/6, 2:24pm

Sarah Rossiter Graham

He went up to his bedroom sitting on the floor curling up

Alaina Douglas

4/6, 2:26pm

Alaina Douglas

Sherlock spent the night methodically hitting his head against the wall to keep himself form melting down and destroying the flat in his anguish and confusion. In the wee hours of the morning, he received a text. A distraction, good.

He got up and let himself out, going down he grabbed his coat and left without saying a word. John didn't want to be near him well fine, he could have the flat to himself for a couple weeks. He put in an order to have clothes delivered to his hotel, a locked room case. This would be exciting.

Sarah Rossiter Graham

4/6, 2:28pm

Sarah Rossiter Graham

John spent the night crying finally passing out from the pain of his eyes and throat

Alaina Douglas

4/6, 2:32pm

Alaina Douglas

Sherlock marched around the body dipping and turning cataloging everything taking mental pictures to study later in his mind palace. Leaving the country for the case had been easy, of course it was his brother was the government.

He would wish John was there but then he would remember how cruel and confusing the man had been and harden himself to the emotions again. He had todo the man, explained his brain, his condition opened himself up to the man and stil he had snapped at Sherlock and punished him. But he hadn't explained why, hadn't tried to help him understand what he had done that was socially wrong. It put Shwrlock on edge To be in trouble and not understand why. It reminded him too much of the way he grew up and that was why he had run to farthest case he could take.

John hadn't left his room since sherlock left, and he didn't plan to. He was confused, he wasn't going to follow through with any of it, he was a complete pushover when it came to the man, if he had asked or came talk to him he'd explain but no he's left with no note or telling him where. He locked his bedroom door curling up. He opened the drawer beside his bed looking at the small box opening it, it was silver and was engraved on the inside reading "sherlock, my love my life" he began crying again throwing the box across the room

Sherlock stepped back out into the London air taking a deep breath. The case hadnt last more than a couple of days and it hasn't been very fun without John. Now he had to go face the man's anger for something he still didn't understand. But he supposed it was worth it, he had missed the man.

Inside 221B he ran up the steps. Bloody hell his arm hurt but John wasn't there and he wouldn't take medicine the doctor hadn't given him.

"John I'm home!" He yelled glancing about, John's jacket was downstairs but it didn't like anyone had been home for the two days he was gone.

He was still upstairs he'd passed out after another night of crying asleep, but he had left the door unlocked so mrs Hudson wouldn't worry

Sherlock heard nothing and began to panic. Where was he? Had he been hurt while he was gone. He stated flying through the flat searching. Not on thei floor, he ran upstairs and flew into the man's room eyes glancing around.

His heart hurt when he found Johm curled up looking as though he's been crying since their fight. Sherlock was nervous he didn't want another fight he didn't understand but the need to check on the man was stronger.

He reached out and gently stroked John's cheek.

"John? John I'm home."

He looked up and back over to the other side of the bed eyes flushing down his cheeks again "you left, you left me...I wasn't going to go through with anyway and you

Left, you were suppose to stay with me"

Sherlock could feel the headache coming on again. "I don't understand John. I told you I didn't understand things like this. I didn't leave to hurt you, you sent me to the couch to be by myself for two weeks I thought you didn't want me around." He could feel the confusion clawing at his mind again and he gripped his head tugging at the haie.

"I'm sorry ok!." He said a tinge of hysterics in U.S. Voice. "I'm a freak I don't get it I'm not human they were right. Now I've hurt you and I just..." Turning he slammed his head down against the door trying to calm himself or make order of his thoughts or maybe to fix his brain so he could understand what he had done.

"Sherlock stop! You aren't a freak! Stop it! If you had asked me why I was angry I would of told you! And I wasn't going to go through with it, your my sherlock I need to you to sleep"

"But you were angry! No one likes to be bothered when they are angry!" Did they? He didn't know tears pricked at his eyes head thumping still. "I just wish I was normal." He let it slip good hand clasped across his eyes where tears were starting to form.

This was so hard, it was why he had never let anyone in for his safety and theirs. But he couldn't live without John now. If he left that would be it, Sherlock knew a dealer that would give him enough to just be done. With everything.

"Sherlock I love you for you, if we have a fight we are suppose to talk!"

"But you yelled and walked away." Sherlock said brokenly though John starting to talk and explain was helping him to calm down. He wanted to go to him, to hug him but he didn't dare.

"So? I'm a push over I was going to go apologise then you starts shouting back! Then you left with not explination, I though you were leaving me forever!"

Sherlock strode over and pulled John against him tightly, he ignored his arm being squished he just had to hold the man to him.

"As usual you see but do not observe." He said gently. " I left my skull here, my violin and the most important...you. I told you I could no longer live without you. I still don't know what I did. But whatever it is I'm sorry. I missed you."

"Sherlock why didn't you just ask, I would of told you, you could of at least threw the toaster out or left me a note explain why you hadn't"

"But my finger was still in it! And I didn't think to leave a note I wasn't planning to be gone long. Just to get the replacement and pick stuff from up from Molly. But Lestrade asked for help and I got distracted." He pulled back and looked at Joun seriously. "This is me John, it's who I am you have witnessed this. I haven't kept any secrets about myself from you. You know the good and the bad. I forget, I break things, I get distracted and I dont understand arguing unless someoem sits me down and explains and I'm sorry but I've leaned the hard way not to go after someone who is angry with me. It doesn't bode well for my health. Are these things you are prepared to live with? Because." He added gently. " I can't change it, it's how my brain works it's how I was literally born and hard wired."

John nodded "I'm sorry" he kisses him "please never leave again"

Sherlock relaxed as John indicated that he understood and kissed him. When he spoke Sherlock couldn't help a chuckle.

"Oh don't worry about that. The case I took was a definite ten and I hated every second of it because you weren't there." He nuzzled John's neck. "Now I can't believe I'm saying this but you need to eat and I need to go tear my arm off."

He was feeling nauseous from the pain by this point.

He nodded "I'll get you painkillers"

Sherlock followed the man downstairs though he went into the living room while john went to wherever he kept the medicine. Draping yimself on the couch he looked at the ceiling feeling exhausted.

"I love you!" He called in making some food before walking in with water and painkillers

Sherlock blinked glanced over to the kitchen with a smile.

"I love you too." He called back going back to staring at the ceiling.

"here you go"

Sherlock swallowed the pills and even downed the water, he hadn't realized how thirsty he was till that moment. Sighing he sat himself up so that john could sit with him if he wanted.

he sat on his lap and began eating "want one or two bites?"

Sherlock wrinkled his nose but nodded holding his food arm around John's waist so he wouldn't slip off.

"This cannot be all the comfortable for you." He said. " I've got no padding on my bones."

John shrugged "I'm comfy, I'll get up if you like"

"No I am fine, I wanted to make sure you were." Sherlock said rubbing his hand up and down the man's stomach soothingly.

he smiled and cuddled into him "I love you soooo much"

"So you've said." He raised an eyebrow teasing." But i love you so much too."

"I love you more" John kissed him

"I doubt that ." He said kissing him back.