Chapter ▪ Twelve

Tris

Again I tried to hide whenever I knew the paths of Four and me might have crossed. I know his presence isn't good for me, nor for my relationship with Eric. And it worked. We haven't spoken in a few days, unless I had to meet him for the simulations and tests. He didn't bothered me with whatever Eric's plans could be. He didn't ask me about anything I might have found out or something he explained to me.

I stand in front of the window of Eric's apartment, waiting for him while I watch the stars in the night sky. It's a beautiful image I would love to keep and it somehow makes me think about the time when I was younger. The time when my family and I were still together and I secretly wish to go back home, just to enjoy one more evening together with Mom, Dad and Caleb. I never realized how much I missed them until now.

Then the sound of keys unlocking the door rip me out of my thoughts. I turn my head to see Eric walking in, but I'm not moving from where I'm standing. The dark night sky catches my attention again instead.

"What are you looking at?" I hear Eric's voice from behind me and I turn around again and smile. Before I say something I wrap my arms around his body, feeling his strong arms around me as well. Then I greet him with a kiss and let my head rest against his chest.

"Just the stars and the sky." I answer quietly. Then I look up to him, hesitating before I let out the question, which is running through my mind right now. "Do you ever miss your family?"

"You ask a lot of questions." he backs away but the smile on his face stays. I watch his back before I follow him into the bedroom. When I walk in he sits on the edge of his bed. "I don't miss them. Instead I threw knifes at them because I didn't like the way they talked to me. At least that's what people would probably expect from me."

He begins to laugh quietly, rather to himself. Then he looks up to me. "You'd be surprised about how many people would actually believe me when I tell them such stories. Idiots."

I crawl into the bed while he gets rid of his clothes, laying down next to me afterwards. I press my lips on his shortly, backing away even though I knew he wants more. "You know that it's your own fault, don't you? You make them believe such stories because they fear you."

"Yes, I know." he smirks, seeming to be proud of the fact that he is feared by people. It's something I don't and probably never will understand. "I'm their leader, after all. I just want to make sure they won't forget that."

By throwing knifes at them? Or by letting them nearly fall down the chasm? I decide to keep these thoughts to myself. I don't want to turn this situation into something serious, so I lean forward to kiss his lips once again. I'm sure that even the brutal and ruthless leader inside of him misses his family sometimes.

"Do they come to visit you?" I ask as I back away slowly. He was right when he said that I ask a lot of questions but it's only because he never really answers them. Instead of doing that he rather answers my questions with another question or ends up being sarcastic.

"Why do you want to know?"

"Is there something you're keeping secret?" I begin to laugh, raising an eyebrow at him. "Maybe you really threw knifes at them."

"No, I didn't." he sighs with a smile. "My parents visited me during initiation. They are busy so they can't visit me often. I don't want them to run around here anyway. I wouldn't have much time for them and I know they end up standing in the way."

It is easy to see that he usually doesn't talk about such private things. While I keep my eyes on him, he turns his head away, concentraiting on a spot on the ceiling. Every now and then I tend to forget that Eric had been through all of this too. Just like everyone else, he is a mother's child that's been taken away by the strong hands of our faction system. But in the end there is still one thing I don't understand when I look at him: Who taught him that being brutal and ruthless is the only way to earn respect? Who told him that being feared is actually a good thing?

"Are you satisfied now?" His sudden voice rips me out of my thoughts and I try to cover my absence with a smile. If I would be honest, I would shake my head and ask him about his family and about his initiation. But I nod instead and come closer to press a kiss on his lips.

The next morning I didn't want to leave him, but I had to. I can't wait until I can finally crawl into bed with Eric again. Initiation is the only thing that keeps me away from him and I am forced to spend the next hour with Four. I don't like the way he stands there in the door frame, waiting for me in the simulation room with a faked smile.

"You're two minutes late, Tris." I know he is not serious. It's true that I'm late, but I also know that it doesn't bother him. Without looking into his face I sit down on the chair and lean back while he stands next to me to prepare everything we need for the simulation. Then he turns his head to see me and it's the first time I look into his eyes as well.

"I was at the office today" he begins. "and I found some interesting stuff. It's true that Eric is working with Erudite. And it's true that it has something to do with Divergents. You wanna hear more or shall I stop here?"

I roll my eyes and turn my head to the other side. I need more time to think. I feel his hand touching my shoulder and it catches my attention. He used to look at me that way before. When everything was alright with us. I secretly wish we would get along again, that we could still be friends after all this. I shake my head to answer his question and his hand slips off my skin.

"Eric is working for Jeanine Matthews. She's hunting Divergents to either kill them or use them for her experiments. And he is helping her, you know ... tracking them down and bring them to where Jeanine needs them." he hesitates before he keeps on talking. "You are divergent, Tris."

I suddenly feel wide awake. I lean forward as I look down onto my legs, putting my wet hands on my knees as if I would want them to stop from walking away — because I really wish to be somewhere else right now. But I need to stay.

"Listen, Eric is the person you should definitely stay away from. If he finds out about you being divergent he will probably take you to Jeanine or —" he stops when I stand up and start slowly walking up and down the room, drowning in my thoughts. I finish the sentence in my head against my own will. He will take me to Jeanine or he will kill me. Instead of fearing him I decided to love him. That's probably one of my biggest mistakes.

"Tris." I hear Four's voice and see how he is coming closer to me. "He is capable of horrible things. He will follow his orders. I know that. He's not going to save you just because he likes to kiss you. You need to stay away from him."

"He's not going to let that happen." I say confidently before I sit down on the chair again. I have no idea where this certainty is coming from but I do believe that his love for me is strong enough to recognize the real enemy, the real problem. It's not me and he knows that. "He won't find out about me being divergent. And if he does ..." I hesitate but I keep my eyes on Four's. "If he does, he won't kill me."

"So you are alright with him killing innocent people as long as you're not one of them?" His voice is surprisingly calm when he says that. I lean back and stare at the ceiling for a while. Before he even spoke out the last words of his question, the answer was shooting through my mind already, stopping right in front of my eyes: no.

I shake my head. "We will find a way. I'm going to talk to him."

In the corner of my eye I see him nodding. Then he takes the syringe and I close my eyes, waiting for one of my fears to challenge me.

Eric

I always prefered doing things on my own. I was never in need of help and I thought people would know this by now. Max is standing in front of the office door. He was just about to leave and I'm not sure what still keeps him here. Standing in front of the desk, I look up at him before I keep on reading through the papers — contracts, enquiries and more stuff I don't even care about.

"You still need anything?" I ask kind of annoyed. I'm not being serious. It was rather another attempt to finally make him leave the room than actually trying to be helpful.

"Jeanine will be here in a minute, Eric. Do not mess this up." With his chin he points at the white sheets in front of me. I'm not quite sure why he said that. I don't like the tone of his voice, the way he talks to me sometimes. Every now and then I tend to forget that I am not the only one to lead Dauntless.

"Don't worry." I say as I sit down on the chair behind me. "I know Erudite and their way of thinking."

"I know that you do. That's not what I'm talking about." He comes closer as he crosses his arms. The look on his face is serious and it's not easy to read. He wanted to work with Jeanine from the start, probably more than I do. He knows about Erudite being my former faction and that might be the reason why he asked me to talk to Jeanine instead of doing it himself. "Just stay focused on what we discussed the other day."

I keep my eyes on his back until he disappears behind the door and I'm finally alone. I try to think about what made him saying these things while my eyes wander over the reports of certain simulation results. It's nothing more than a few assumptions but there is one person I'm sure that she is divergent. Once again I take a look at Tris' results, which are differentiating from the others the most. I fold the papers to let them disappear in my pocket.

I hear a knock on the door and stand up immediately. Two men dressed in blue enter the office, followed by Jeanine and another woman I have never seen before. I still don't get why she keeps on surrounding herself with so many people, who would just stand in the way.

"Hello." She reaches out her hand and I shake it without hesitation. "So we meet again. Anyhow, let's get straight to what I came for. I want the reports of anyone with conspicuous simulation results."

While I collect all the reports together, I hear her talking something about the headquarters but I don't really pay attention to it. Then I put the sheets right in front of her. She puts on her glasses of which I'm sure she doesn't even need. "That's all I got."

After a few minutes of silence she looks up to me and nods. "Alright. I might have use of them in my laboratory. They are definitely divergent but ... how's Prior doing? Is Beatrice doing well?"

"Not any better than the others." I lie because I know that it's the exact opposite. There is no chance for her to end up being factionless, even though it might be better for her to do so.

"You didn't take a look at her results?"

"Yes, I did. But there was no sign of her being divergent." I shrug.

"Is that so?" Her eyes tell me that she doesn't believe me and I lean back in my chair, crossing my arms. Instead of looking away, I keep my eyes fixed on hers because any other reaction would just give me away. "It might be better to keep an eye on her. If you can't do it, I will ask someone else then."

She stands up, taking the reports with her as she is about to leave the room. "Make sure to bring these people to our headquarters."

I nod and watch them walking out the door until the last person dressed in blue closes it. I take deep breath. I know that she will come back to take a look at Tris' results. I don't think I'll be able to cover her a second time and that's what worries me the most.

A/N: Finally a new chapter! I'm sorry for letting you wait so long. I hope this one will give you some clarity, especially Eric's part. Thanks for reading and leaving a nice review! c: