Sorry for not posting anything in such a long time, but there were technical difficulties. I also couldn't review every story I read and I am sorry for that as well and I'll try to make up for that as soon as possible.

This is my second attempt at an early piece within a rather short time, but I just wish we knew more about the beginnings for Robert and Cora's marriage.

Please let me know what you think!

Kat


They have been married for seven months now and she isn't happy. She married a man she loved, she still loves him, but he doesn't love her back and it breaks her heart. She thought she would have been able to deal with this, because she loved him, because she knew that he liked her, not in a romantic way, but as a friend. While not perfect, she had thought that this would have been a good starting point. The trouble is that he doesn't even seem to like her anymore, not even like a friend, and no matter how hard she tries, she cannot fall out of love with him.

Dinner that night is horrible. Robert must have had a fight with both his parents during the day and they don't speak to each other. His mother makes pointed remarks at them for not having conceived a child yet, while his father does nothing to defend them. Robert keeps shooting both of his parents glances that would make her want to hide somewhere in the stables. Although she has to admit that Robert has never looked at her like that.

He goes upstairs early and she follows him. She is almost sure that he wanted to be alone but she is his wife and she wants to help, she just wants him to feel a little better. So she knocks on his door that leads to the hallway. He opens it and barks "What do you want?" at her. She feels taken aback but the moment he sees her, the look on his face softens somewhat. "Oh, Cora, I'm sorry. I thought it was my parents. I didn't want to yell at you like that."

"It's all right," she says. And it really is. He needs to let go of his anger and if he needs to let it out on her, she will be able to deal with it. So she steps into his room without having been invited.

"Cora, I'd much rather be alone," he says.

"I know," she replies. "But I think it would be better if you talked to me." His room is dark and makes her claustrophobic, so she takes his hand and without saying a word leads him through to her room, which is much brighter and warmer. She is a little surprised that he doesn't object, but maybe he is too tired to argue with her too. "Sit in the chair," she says and indicates a comfortable armchair with a footrest in front of it. She goes back into his room and gets his favorite scotch and two glasses. She fills them both and hands one of them to her husband who takes it. "Thank you," he says and finishes the drink in one go. She refills his glass wordlessly and smiles at him. "Take of your tails and bow tie. You'll be much more comfortable," she says to him and takes the pins out of her hair. She feels him watching her but he does as she said. "And your shoes," she adds while she takes off her own shoes, gloves and jewelry, except for her wedding ring. Again, he does as he is told, and she knows he does so because he is too tired to argue and probably too thankful for her having provided him with the much needed drinks.

She walks over to the chair he is sitting in, sits down on the footrest, takes his left foot onto her lap and begins to massage it without saying a word. He looks at her flabbergasted but she only smiles at him faintly and he closes his eyes and leans back into the chair. She eventually moves on to his right food and says

"Talk to me."

"About what?"

"Your troubles."

"My troubles? You wouldn't understand."

"Try me."

"You are a woman."

"That is a correct observation. I am glad you've noticed."

"How could anyone not notice that?"

"I don't know. But that is not what is troubling you."

"No. It is my father."

"Tell me. I may be a woman, but I do have a difficult father. And brother. And mother. So I might understand."

"I don't know if I should tell you."

"Why not?"

"I don't know if I can."

"I am your wife. You should be able to tell me anything."

"If we were a real husband and wife, I would be." Robert has now hurt her more than ever before, but she doesn't say anything and hides her disappointment because this is not about her.

"Robert, whatever you tell me in this room will stay in this room. I promise. And it might be easier to deal with once you've talked to someone."

He looks at her calculatingly but then begins to talk. He tells her about how his father wants to throw the widow of a tenant off the estate because she can't pay her rent, how that woman has two very young children and is not able to do all the work, how he thinks they should be lenient and how his father dismisses his thoughts as that of 'an inexperienced dreamer'. He talks about how the agent of the estate dismisses every idea he has concerning the modernization of the estate and how he is afraid that Downton might be mismanaged. He tells her that he looked through the books and that the numbers made him dizzy and that he had ideas on how to make improvements and save money at the same time. He tells her how both his father and the agent laughed about his ideas and called him 'too young to understand anything'. He tells her how he told his father that he should be allowed to make the decisions because it was his money they were wasting as he was the one who had to marry the money to safe the estate. He tells her how he talked to his mother about this because he thought that she would be on his side, but she wasn't, she only told him that she still thought he made a mistake in his marriage. He tells her how his father came into the room at the exact moment his mother told him that and how they both scolded him like a little schoolboy then for thinking that he had any idea of how to run an estate. He tells her how he thinks that those accusations are wrong and how he thinks that he actually does know quite a lot about running an estate, how he doesn't understand his father treating him like schoolboy who really doesn't know anything after having groomed him for his role for all his life. He tells her how he feels pressured by both his parents to finally produce an heir and how he feels like failure to her because so far it hasn't happened. She listens to all of this without saying a word because she knows he needs to get it off his chest.

When he stops talking she takes his feet of the footrest, slides onto the ground herself and takes her hands in his.

"Robert, before we talk about anything else, let me say this: You are not a failure to me. I am not pregnant yet, that is true, but it really doesn't matter. We have twenty years ahead of us to have children. They will come along when they do. Putting pressure onto ourselves won't be helpful. Don't worry about that." He smiles at her and she can see relief and thankfulness in that smile.

"Now let's talk about the other things. You are right about the farmer's widow, she can't be told to leave the estate. How is she supposed to do all her work with infants? And where would she be supposed to go? I'll tell your father you are right."

"That won't make a difference."

"Maybe it will. I will remind him that it is my money that is keeping this estate running. And I will also tell him that without modernization my parents would never have made enough money to save this estate."

"That is rather cheeky."

"Maybe. But maybe your parents need some cheekiness, Robert. You've been a very dutiful son so far. You've done everything they asked of you, from what I gather for your whole life. You even married a woman you didn't love, tied yourself to her for the rest of her life, to get her money to safe the estate. And still they don't take you seriously, still they complain. Robert, there is nothing you can do except fight for what you believe is right. And if you want a chance to win some of those fights, you'll need an ally. And you have that ally in me."

"That will not endear you to them."

"Probably not. But I don't care about that, Robert. I care about what's right and I care about you." Robert remains quiet for a minute but then says.

You are still in love with me, aren't you?" She thinks about lying for a second but then decides that that would probably be even more painful than the truth.

"Yes, I can't deny it. But that is not why I am on your side. I am on your side because you are right in every aspect you have told me about. And they all amount to the same fact: You are an adult and your parents have to learn to accept that and to accept you as their equal. And I am saying that regardless of my feelings for you. Although I have been trying to fall out of love with for quite some time now." There is a flicker across his face she can't place. He doesn't say anything for a few minutes and she keeps holding his hands, running her thumbs over the insides of them. He leans back into the chair and then says

"Cora?"

"Hm?"

"Don't try too hard. Please."

Her insides perform a somersault at this but she doesn't dare to say anything.

"We should go to bed" he eventually says.

"Yes. I'll ring for my maid," she says and gets up.

"Don't," he says and looks at her. "I know you don't like her. I'll help you. If you tell me what to do, I'm sure I can get you out of your clothes."

His words put her into a trance and she only nods. He walks over to her and she guides him through opening all the buttons and hooks on her clothes and corset. Once all she has left on are her undergarments he says "I think you can take it from here. I'll go to bed. Goodnight." She doesn't answer anything because tears run down her face the moment the words are out of her husband's mouth. She has never felt so defeated. But she knew what was she getting herself into and therefore she doesn't think that she has any right to be sad, so she swallows once when she hears him close the door, finishes getting changed into her night clothes and lies down on her bed. She can hear Robert talk to his valet next door and she gets jealous because she thinks that she should be the one Robert talks to so late at night. When she is already half asleep she hears the door open again.

"Cora, are you still awake?" her husband asks her.

"Yes," she says, sits up and turns on the light on her night stand again.

"Good. Because I forgot something."

"What did you forget?"

She watches her husband walk towards her and sit down on the bed, impossibly close to her.

"This," he says and kisses her in a way he has never kissed before. When he breaks the kiss he leans his forehead against hers and says "Don't fall out of love with me, Cora. Please don't."

She shakes her head and puts her hands into his hair. "Stay the night, Robert." She wants him to stay with her more than anything in that moment, it is all that matters to her.

"Cora, I can't."

"Why not?"

"Because I will have to get up in four hours and I am incredibly tired as it is."

"Sleep here. Please." She knows she's begging but she wants him to so much, it's what she has wanted since the day she fell in love with him, which had been weeks before his proposal and months before their wedding.

"Why?" he asks in a husky voice.

"Because I want you to. I need you to." He looks into her eyes and she almost melts under his gaze. He has never looked at her like that. He gives her another kiss, climbs over her and lies down on the bed next to her.

"Get under the covers, Robert," she says and smiles at the slightly dumbstruck look on her husband's face. She lies down next to him and he touches her face.

"Cora, I, thank you. Thank you for the way you care about me. And for being on my side."

"You're welcome," she says, takes his hand in hers and falls asleep.