Author's Note:

Hello. Okay to my followers, I know I have so many fanfics to upload and starting another one...I know you all must hate me. But remember how I said in my previous notes, I was getting better? Ironically, things fell apart again. I won't get into details but I will say, I decided to give writing a try again as a part of therapy. I am so sorry again.

Also, last week was the ending of the anime Death Parade which I was following since the 4th episode was released. I am in love with that series and enjoyed how it ended. But the thing is, the curse of being a shipper is that I need my shipping needs to be fulfilled. So I decided to write six chapter AU Death Parade series. I planned it out so I just need to write it. Hopefully this fic well help me with my writer's block (more like writer's constipation. XD)

Yes, the title was inspired by the song, "White Shadows" by Coldplay. For some reason, the song reminded me so much about Decim.

For those who haven't heard of Death Parade or heard of it but haven't watched it, turn your little butts around, and watch that glorious 12 episode series. Grab tissues btw. I cried so hard in almost every episode.

I dedicate this to all the lovely Death Parade fans and to my new DP follow fan and friend: livlevaincois

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Sometimes Decim wondered…

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What Chiyuki's soul was doing on earth right now.

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Chapter 1: First Encounter - 45

Two guests appeared out of the elevator and Decim stopped cleaning his glasses and set them aside. As the footsteps drew nearer, Decim began to bow and routinely speak in a loud monotone voice, "Come on in. Welcome to Quindecim. I am Decim your bartender."

As he went back to his proper posture, he turned the woman on the left. She was a teenage human girl with shoulder length chestnut colored hair, cut into layers. The girl was about of average height, freckles scattered not just in her face but as well as her tan arms and legs. She wore a sequin and pink tube top that exposed her belly button, a silver short skirt, with matching six inch heels. But the features that stood out the most was the girl's choice in make up. Her eyes were covered mint green and black smokey eyeshadow and heavy eyeliner but her lips to appear to have a soft almost nude like quality to them. The expression on her face however was not at all soft.

"Before I get into details, may I ask if you remember anything?"

The girl shot him a glare. "Like what?"

"Anything." Decim answered as he looked at the young girl. "As in perhaps a thought, a name, anything. "

The girl crossed her arms and defensively asked. "Why should I? As if, I will tell you anything about me, creep."

He almost wished he started with the other guest whom he didn't get a good look at other than her outfit which consisted a white tank top, covered by a plain green cardigan, khaki capris, and a pair of light blue sneakers.

The teenager sprinted towards the counter. "The better question is, where am I?"

Decim shook his head. "I cannot answer that. I apologize."

"Excuse me?" The teenager scoffed as she slammed her fist onto the counter. "Why can't you tell me? What the HELL is going on here? Why can't you tell me where I am?"

The bartender nodded. " I cannot answer that either. I apologize once again."

The girl's eyes began to wince but before she could get another word in, the other guest meekly asked, "Umm. Pardon me. I hate to interrupt but...I'm afraid I do not remember anything or who I am at all."

Decim turned to his other guest and before he could respond, his eyes widen.

A tiny strand of white hair stood out from the older woman's jet black short wavy hair. who appeared to be in her late forties. His mouth began to open slightly. 'This can't be...Is it?'

Suddenly the arbiter's light blue eyes began to glance over the woman's face. The older woman had pale skin, with a long thin nose, and a pointy chin. The woman's eyes were slightly wrinkled yet soft but color of her eyes were the very same shade of violet like hers. He felt his pupils growing smaller as he stared into those eyes. The very same eyes he saw all those years ago.

Decim smiled and realized it was truly Chiyuki's soul. Her very soul that was passed on.

The teenager looked at Decim and to the woman in silence for a moment. Then her face twisted in disgust as she pulled the older woman's right hand onto hers. She then glared at Decim.

"You know, it's rude to stare at women. Not to mention very rude and uncomfortable when that said person, is smiling while staring at her. "

Decim's gaze lowered and closed his eyes. He mentally scolded himself for letting his newfound emotions get in the way of his work. The bartender bowed to them both. "I apologize I mean no disrespect. It will not happen again."

The older women stared for a moment and laughed. The teeanger looked at her confused as well as Decim who tried his best to appear apathetic.

"It's alright. I just...I can't put my finger on it. But it feels like...nevermind. It's nothing. But back to my original statement. I can not remember who I am or how I ended up here."

The teenager looked at the older woman concerned and back at Decim. "What kind of sick game is this? Why can't she remember anything yet I know who I am and the last thing I remember, my friends and I were in this incredibly awesome car with a cute older guy after a party."

Decim shook his head. " I can not answer that question either."

"Oh my god. What can you answer?" The young girl said as she rubbed her temples.

Decim then began to start with his speech, about not leaving without playing a game, what to ask and what not ask, and the rules of the game. Even when he was talking his mind was elsewhere. His mind was on Chiyuki.

Decim had kept track the day Chiyuki left in a notepad. It had been exactly forty-five human years since he and his former assistant and friend departed from one another. So in total, the woman in front of him, was forty-five.

Before Chiyuki's arrival, time was something Decim never kept track of considering in an arbiter's world, time is different in the human world. For what arbiter could have any use for using time other than planning out his or her own work schedule. After Chiyuki's departure from Quindecim, call it his will to understand humans better, Decim suddenly started to count time. Minutes, Hours, Days, Months, and Years. At first it became an obsession but slowly it became more of a thoughtless routine. Decim didn't understand what brought up such a habit. He knew it was connected to Chiyuki but couldn't put his finger why timing felt so important to him. It didn't take long afterward to realize perhaps there was a part of him that wanted to believe somehow if he was to meet Chiyuki again, in another lifetime, perhaps it gave him something to look forward too. Decim found it both interesting yet odd how his human like emotions resulted in some unique quirks.

Normally, all his guests were forgotten in his memory but Decim had made mannequins in tribute to his guests as a reminder, all his guests had lived fulfilled lives. It was his own personal moral code he treasured the most as an arbiter. Yet when Chiyuki left, although he was truly happy she was able to be reincarnated, he felt somewhat lonely. He got the idea shortly afterwards to not only make a mannequin of her but to also write down important events their time in a notepad in case he would forget.

Because the truth of it was deep down, he didn't want her to be forgotten like all the others. Although he valued all human lives, Decim felt Chiyuki's soul was a treasure. Something inside him told him, he had to honor her memory in a special way that outrank all the other tributes. He then decided after making version of herself into a mannequin, that she was his favorite amongst all the other guests, and placed her in front of the bar by his side. That way, they both would not part from one another and remain at each other's side.

"HELLO! ARE YOU SERIOUSLY ZONING OUT NOW?"

He blinked and saw the young girl and older woman sitting in the stools.

The young girl crossed her eyebrows. "And what if we don't want to play your stupid game?"

Decim stood back a moment and walked away from the glass window tiles that now exposed his live mannequin collection but to human eyes would appear to be dead human bodies.

Her heard a scream and a loud booming sound as the young girl began to shake in horror. The older woman's eyes widen for a moment and took a deep breath. She then got out of her seat and held the younger girl. The teenager wrapped her arms around the older woman and began to point at Decim with immense fear.

"Ar-Are you a psycho? A killer? Wh-Wh-What are you gonna do to us!? What kind of place is this?"

The older woman, who had the same fear in her eyes, but tried to appear composed for what Decim assumed was for the young girl's sake. "So let me get this straight. There are no exits. If we both play your game...then we don't have to end up like them and are allowed to leave?"

Decim's heart ached for a moment only because the woman-Chiyuki's spirit, seemed to look at him like a he was something terrible. He quickly nodded. "Correct."

"Very well."

The older woman breathed out heavily and then turned to the young teenage girl. "Young lady, can you tell me your name?"

"It's-It's It's...Yuna."

The older woman smiled warmly to her. "Hello Yuna. I am not sure what my name is but if somehow I can remember it, I will tell you. Listen, I think we should play the game. I can't exactly say whatever happens to us will end well... but if it will buy us some time, I am willing to find out only if you are."

Yuna looked at the older woman for a moment and sighed. "...I don't want-want to end up like that. I-I-"

"I won't let anything happen to you. Alright?" The older woman held the girls hand and smile.

The young girl's eyes lowered and whispered. "Okay. I'll play too."

Decim nodded as he took out the giant red button from under his desk. "Very good. Will one of you press this in order to see what type of game you will play."

The older woman looked at Yuna who in no way wanted to be near Decim and so the older woman smiled. "I will press it then."

The older woman began to stand up and walk toward the bar. Yuna followed behind her, hiding behind the older woman, glaring at Decim. The older woman pressed it and pretty soon both women were staring the roulette screen and saw it land on one of the squares. Then it showed a bowling picture.

"Bowling has been chosen." Decim announced. "Let us begin."

As the two women began to play bowling finally after fifteen minutes Yuna fainted as she touched the heart inside the bowling ball and felt its heartbeat, Decim had a flashback of the memories that were sent to him earlier. It seemed their deaths were linked. Then it out of nowhere, a dark thought crept onto his mind. Chiyuki had died and she was not even an old women. Meaning she did not live a long life that he originally wanted for her.

The older woman's memories were interesting to Decim. In Chiyuki's first life time, (after she was reincarnated), she did not receive the love and attention from her parents she had in her previous life. They were not abusive or cold to her. But simply put it, she was neglected. Both of her parents were addicted to their work, and went out of town a lot, and did not pay attention to her. Her parents also hired her a nanny since she was a baby. At a very young age, her nanny taught her how play guitar. Decim soon found out in her first lifetime, music was her main interest.

After fifteen years, her parents suddenly let the nanny go, seeing as their daughter was old enough to take care of herself. Not only that, her parents only seemed to shown interest in her when she was a teenager. Her parents expected her to go to a good university to also be "successful" like them. But she did not. She rebelled the moment her parents removed her nanny from their home. As soon as she graduated high school, she told her parents she wanted to not major in business but rather study music and has applied to a music school. Her parents were not pleased and a fight erupted between them. Soon, she was kicked out of her home, with nothing but a bag of clothes, and some savings she had collected at a young age. She never had contact with them again after that.

But still. She did not regret it. Living from upscale lifestyle to poor struggling college student did not change her. In fact, the woman growing up seemed happier. She enjoyed her time studying music. Pretty soon, as time went on she found herself becoming a music teacher at a public elementary school. She loved her students and it seemed in turn she was also admired by both children and parents alike. She even often visited hospitals and entertained patients every weekend with her guitar.

As for her love life, it seemed she did not have one. She went on dates, had a couple of boyfriends, but it never seemed to go anywhere due to her part. It seemed when things would potentially get serious, she would break up with them. Before her death, she got out of a five year relationship due to the man she was seeing, was trying to pressure her to quit her job and to settle down with him. This fact for some reason relieved Decim. He didn't understand why at all. It just oddly made him feel at ease.

The last memory was her driving past eleven at night after visiting a former's pupils music performance. Out of nowhere, it seemed another car was speeding extremely rapidly, heading toward her, despite the red traffic light. The older woman slammed her breaks but it was too late. Her memories faded to black, which meant she died instantly.

The older woman gasped for a moment and then shut her mouth. " Ah... I see."

"Huh? Miss…Are you okay?" Yuna asked as she was marking the scoreboard.

She turned toward the girl and Decim with a smile. "Yes. I just realized who I am is all."

Decim nodded while Yuna slightly smiled. "Really? That's great... Um, so who are-"

"Why don't we finish the game first and then I will tell you who I am." The older woman responded as she sat down to keep score. "It seems I am losing terribly. Bowling never really was one of my strongest suits."

Yuna furrowed her eyebrows but then shrugged. "Okay. I guess here goes nothing huh? "

As the teenage girl grabbed a pink bowling ball, she noticed the older woman's heart beat slightly pumping faster. Yuna frowned for a moment but shook her head. As she began to throw the ball, Yuna's eyes widened for a moment in horror and began to drop the ball.

The older woman stood up alarmed. "Yuna dear...Are you alright?"

Decim then turned to Yuna, who was not responding, but slightly shrinking back to the floor. She was now regaining her memories.

The girl had somewhat an interesting life too. She had two parents and lived a normal happy childhood with her two little brothers whom she loved dearly. When Yuna went to highschool however, it seemed things changed. She began to hang out with a much more wilder crowd who were known to often go to parties and clubs. As a result, Yuna spent less time with her family and at times found them boring and annoying.

The night she died, she lied to her parents saying she was sleeping over at one of her friend's house but in reality they were sneaking off to a party with an older college guy they met the night before at a club. Yuna and her group of friends lied to the boy saying they were first years in college, which was how they got into the party to begin with. Soon, Yuna and her friends were having a good time and were very drunk. After the party, the guy who was also heavily intoxicated convinced the group of girls to go on a ride with him. They all got in the car and began to have a fast joy ride. However, Yuna realized they were heading toward a red light but the guy kept driving fast, assuring her he was under control. Of course, he wasn't. He slammed on his breaks but the car kept on going until it swerved and hit another car. Yuna was not wearing a seatbelt and crashed through the window instantly killing her.

But what shocked Yuna the most was not her death but her final seconds of life. Which was watching an older woman, screaming as the vehicle Yuna came closer to her, crushed her.

Decim watched as Yuna shook her head. "No...This can't be happening. I'm-I'm."

Yuna then turned to the direction of the older woman as she walked toward her. "Yes. We are both dead... Aren't we young bartender?"

"Yes." Decim started as he walked in front of them. "Now you both understand, I am not a killer or your captor. I am simply an arbiter."

The young girl then stared at the women. "So it was-I-Us….We all killed you?"

"So it appears. We both died at that very same crash. " The older woman nodded.

Yuna's eyes began to get watery. "I'm-I'm-I'm so sorry. I didn't mean-I didn't mean. I was drunk. Every-Everyone was. I shouldn't have-I dunno why- I didn't mean too-"

Before Yuna could finish, the older woman took both Decim and the girl by surprised when she bent down to hug her.

"It's okay. Don't blame yourself. I am okay. I didn't suffer. Most importantly it wasn't intentional. These things just happen in life. So there's no need to apologize."

Yuna then broke down and sobbed into the older woman's arms. "I don't deserve your kindness. I don't deserve anything. I killed you. I turned to such a selfish person. I-I-I was so mean to my family when I got older. They...They...always loved me and...I t-tr-treated them unfairly. And-An- now...They will never know. Know how much I miss them right now and ho-how much I lo-love them."

The older woman began to embrace Yuna tighter and stroke her hair. "Yuna, you were not selfish. You are a teenager. It's perfectly normal to want a life of your own and it's typical for most girls your age to feel your family was boring. It's not selfish. It's just part of growing up. But you know what. I believe your parent's and brothers knew this. They loved you before and even after death, they will always love you. No matter what. I think deep in their hearts they also knew you care for them too."

Decim's stepped back for a moment, fighting the urge to hold the left side of his chest. This was all too familiar for him. One of his precious memories was being unfolded before his eyes. The memory when Chiyuki ran to hug him and comfort him after his cruel judgment on her. Despite what he had to do, Chiyuki selflessly forgave him. No questions asked, no explanations needed.

After a few minutes of intense sobbing from the Yuna, the older woman helped the teenage girl up. "It seems we have a winner here and no need to finish the game."

Decim bowed to both of them. "Very well."

He then headed toward the two women and began to hug them. "Both of you did very well."

Yuna looked up at him and gave him a small embrace while the older woman did the same. Only the older woman's eyes widen for a moment. Only for a moment. Then examined Decim's face. The older woman could not figure it out. But she felt she somehow knew this man standing before her and began. "You know...I can not explain it. But for some reason, I feel like I know you."

Decim's eyes widened for a bit as she continued. " I normally have excellent memory and never forget a face. But for some odd reason, your face...I can't remember who you are. I don't know. Maybe my mind is slipping."

She laughed while Decim pondered how to respond. He could easily tell her about her past life and the time they spent together. He could easily tell her how he wanted to meet her again in another life. He could easily tell her how happy he was that she was standing right here and now. He could tell her everything he wanted to say to her now at this very moment.

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But he didn't.

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He ended up lying to her and denying her claim. It slightly bothered him he lied to her but he knew he couldn't be selfish. Also, Nona instructed him, should he somehow come across Chiyuk's soul again, he was under strict orders never to tell her reincarnated soul about their time together. When it came down to it, his sense of duty won. But his negative feelings about the matter still lingered.

He escorted the two ladies out toward the elevator. Before they stepped in, Yuna then remembered something. "Oh! I almost forgot. You know, I never did find out who you were."

The older woman blinked and laughed. "Well, I almost forgot to tell you. I guess now is a better time than any."

She then offered her hand to Yuna, who immediately grasped it and shake. While Decim smiled.

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"My name is Chinami."

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Decim wondered if it was perhaps fate or coincidence that her name began with Chi.

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"Alright off you go then. Farewell." Decim beamed at young girl who in return smiled back. " He glanced up and decided this girl was to be reincarnated for she shown true regret and sorrow for her actions as a human.

As for the older woman...he waited until the girl was gone to be left alone with Chinami.

"Miss Chinami…" Decim started as he looked at her intensely. " I am terribly sorry that you had to find out you were dead this way. But I want you to know, everything is going to be alright now. That much I can say. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me for not saying anything."

Chinami gave out a small chuckle and stated. "Of course. I can't say I wasn't scared when entering here in this place. But I am glad we met. Thank you."

The elevator was slowly closing and at that moment Decim felt a little pain in his chest again. In the back of his thoughts, he didn't want her to leave just yet. But it was duty as an arbiter to do so. Besides, she deserved to live a much longer and happier life. He didn't want to get in the way of that.

As he glanced at her for one final time, Chinami grinned at him. He took a step back. It was the same lovely smile Chiyuki's bestowed upon him forty five years ago. Before he knew it, he found himself giving her a small smile. The same one he gave to the original Chiyuki. His Chiyuki. Then the elevator closed and he looked on his he heard the elevator going up as he stared at the white mask.

'I hope one day we shall meet again soon. It would be nice.'

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Before Demi knew it. He got his wish.

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But it came a little too soon.

And also...it came at a price.