AN: Haven't posted in a long time, and there aren't really any excuses for that. However, I plan on posting everything that I've finished to make up for that.

Warning: Language, Yaoi, OCish Grimmjow, Sad events.

Disclaimer: I own no bands, or fictional characters.

If I did, there would be a lot more gay porn of them. ^.^

"Ichigo! We're gonna be fuckin late bro! I wanna see the intro, I heard they're debuting a new song!" My brother Shiro calls.

Shirosaki's best friend is a man named Grimmjow, a man who caused pain and nuisances to me for my entire life. Entire. Fucking. Life. Naturally, I've had the most massive crush on this asswipe-also for my entire fucking life. Because ya know, that's how that shit works out. Shiro's got this shit eating grin on his face, what the fuck is it with people knowing something I don't? Just because I'm going to go see The Sexta, Grimmjow's band, doesn't mean I've forgiven him! He just sings real well and writes amazing songs...and apparently he's going to do something to change my opinion of him. That's part of why I'm going. My intense thought process involving staring at the wall with my jeans around my ankles is interrupted by Shiro.

"The fuck, man! Get your ass ready, or I'll fucking LEAVE YOU HERE!"

I scramble up. "Sorry bro. Just thinking bout shit. Which car we taking?" I ask, slipping on my converse.

"Well it's a fuckin metal concert...howabout the trans am I'm restoring?" He replies, eyes distant.

Shiro has always loved cars, though the love isn't limited to them. He likes anything with a motor and parts that can be dissected and put back together, and as a result he became a mechanic. Not just any mechanic, though, the fucking mechanical god. He can repair and renovate any machine you send his way, and therefore makes awesome quantities of money, hence the '72 trans am, currently only missing one signature part. That would be the gold undercarriage lights, but they're not a necessity and are therefore ignored. The car is drool-worthy regardless, it's fucking pimped out. Shiro put in race-car tech, the car has a big block fucking hemi engine, white leather seats with gold fuckin stitching, not to mention the goddamn flawless white paint job with the gold on black racing stripes. Only one 'issue' with the car though-it has more hp than it can handle, and as a result, Shiro has to put sandbags in the back to hold it down. He's a genius with shit like this, the obsession with horsepower only creates some monster fuckin cars. THIS BITCH NEEDS JESUS!

I chuckle. "You really fuckin love your cars, Shiro. You're the best with em, anyway."

"Yeah shaddup ya faggot. Get in the fuckin car." He replies sarcastically, giving me a once over.

I decide to do the same for him. Tight black wife beater to show off how white he is and his toned abs, grease stained silver skinnies, various studded bracelets adorning both arms. He'd put his blood red shark teeth into his angel white hair, carefully lacing them in to attract attention, he'd lined his eyes with red liner, his brick red converse laced up tightly. He completed everything with the jacket he'd won from a co-worker, one of the NASCAR mechanics. Shiro's not egotistical, but he is most definitely the best. Never challenge him to a pimp-out contest, that fucker will WIN. The jacket was signed by various legendary drivers, plus a few friends who fly bigger planes for the Air Force. This little shit knows EVERYONE, and I mean that when I say it.

He lets out a sigh. "Done glaring at my sexiness? Cuz you look like shit."

"Fuck you! I look great!" I suppose what he said rang true in some ways. I was going for simple sexy, black skinnies ripped in all the right places, orange converse, I opted out of a shirt being that it's fucking 97 degrees. That's it, aside from some bracelets and my grandfather's black ring he'd won in WWII, dangling from a chain around my neck. Yeah, I was definitely sexy.

Shiro hopped in, immediately turning up the stereo. "C'mon ya faggot! I fuckin love this song!"

I faintly hear the lyrics over the sound of the engine, jumping into the world of musical awesome.

Round one
Swear to god I do it for fun
Just a dead man walking with a double barrel shotgun

Hah! Love this song! I immediately join in on the singing, "fuckin hurry Shiro!"

All I wanted was your honesty
Something more than this
Something more than me
Death can take me if I can't be free
I'm not like you
I'm a DYING BREED!

I scream the last part, hoping to god I didn't hurt myself. "Shit Ichi, when'd you learn ya do that?" Shiro mumbles.

"Taught myself. Figured it'd be cool to know how to do." I reply nonchalantly, a small battle just won in my head.

See Ichi? Now your measly singing got better! Maybe a band will take you in with them! Probably not, but maybe, I mean it IS your lifelong dream! I have to contain a laugh at my stupidity. I only have a few songs out and they're not very good. Shiro raises an eyebrow, interrupting my internal pity party. "What's up, Ichi?"

My face gets dead serious. "Do you think a band will ever take me in? Am I that horrible?"

"You'd be surprised Ichi. You're pretty good, pretty fuckin awesome if you ask me. Only an idiot wouldn't want you." He says back, gold eyes never leaving the road, I however manage to see the knowing smirk grace his lips. "We're here, homes."

Great. I get to endure sexy bitches singing sexy music while my sexy self wallows in self pity. Fanfuckintastic. I can practically see them now, all six of em done up in their best gear, singing their hearts out to whatever they feel the strongest. Lucky bastards.

When I actually see them, my breath catches in my throat. They're ALL shirtless? Really? Is that really necessar-and Grimmjow has army gear on? Do they know of my soft spot for uniforms or something?! I run my way up to the front, being tugged by Shiro.

"Supp Grimmy. Ichi actually came!" Shiro says as he shakes my arm.

A smirk appears. "Thanks Shiro. Been waiting for this for a long fuckin' while."

"What the fuck do you mean? I'm still able to leave!" I reply indignantly.

His smirk falls. "You'll stay, right? I'm gonna make everything up to you, okay? I fucking swear on my family's graves."

As I open my mouth to say something snarky, the band's drummer, Renji Abarai, pulls Grimmjow to the side. They whisper for a bit and Grimmjow takes his place on stage, navy blue bass in hand.

I'm fucking pissed, to say the least. He's causing conflicting emotions and that's not okay, don't fuck with someone like that and then attempt to soften them up. I turn tail to leave, almost at the end when the sound of the mic reaches my ears.

A deep baritone voice drawls. "Great to fuckin' see everyone out here for us, we fuckin' love all of you. Each and every one of you is a beloved straggler, and for that I've gotta thank you. But there's a few things I have to say first." He takes a pause and I move forward, might as well watch.

I can literally see a mixture of emotions cross his face. Anger, sadness, rage, happiness. All mixed together. "Have any of you ever pushed someone around?" The crowd murmurs a yes. "That's what I thought. Any of you done it for someone's entire life?" Only a few murmurs this time. "Exactly. At least I'm not fuckin' alone in this. Any of you here with the one you fucked around with?" Not a single murmur. I edge closer.

"Hah, I should've guessed. Mine is here, hopefully he'll hear all of this. When I was two I met this awesome kid, who admittedly was a bit of a pussy. He was my best friend for years, until we turned seven. All you hardcore fans know that this is when I knew I was gay. So this kid, this fucking awesome kid, wasn't expecting me to detach myself from him, scared of what he'd think if he found out. Scared of what he'd think if he knew I liked him. We basically stopped hanging out and doing anything together, something I regret to this day." The crowd is totally silent.

Grimmjow hangs his head, his voice shaky. "I didn't know how to feel, I was so mad at myself, so fucking mad-I made this kid's life hell. I'd spread rumors, call him names, beat him up, belittle him, anything to make him feel bad. I even went out with the girls he liked, just trying to piss him off. The more I did, the more pissed I got at myself for being such a fucking pansy, such a fucking useless waste of space. And that lead to me doing worse. I got groups to hurt him, groups to beat him, laugh at him, try to break him and make him bow to us. This dude deserves credit for never once fucking backing down, never once taking it, though he dished out plenty." Grimmjow almost sounded as if he was-wai-HE LIKED ME? WHAT THE FU-"Ichigo. I know you're in that crowd. I want you to know, for all of the shit I dished out, I did worse to myself. Come up here and look close, you can see the scars, there's plenty." The crowd gasped collectively. "Yeah I know, tough rocker dude cuts himself. Don't fucking care what you think, and that's the truth. But Ichigo, I knew that you hated me, and with that mixed with how much I hated myself-I tried to hang myself, and that's how my voice is so rough and scratchy, I fucked up my vocal chords."

I started moving forward. He could've fucking told me, he could've told me anything and I would have been fucking fine. He shouldn't have kept all of this shit bottled inside him for almost two motherfucking decades. We could've stayed friends, we could've laughed and had good times. We could've been more than everyfuckingthing else. I fucking liked him for EVER, and after all of this bullshit, he wants me to accept an apology? Hell no. But he did all that to himsel-

"I cut, I cried, and I really really wanted to die. I made the only thing I looked forward to seeing feel like shit, and I know it sounds lame, but Ichigo, you are the one thing that kept me going. No matter how much shit I threw at you, you were always there to throw it back, but that day in high school when you said that you hated me and that you wished I'd leave you alone and you didn't notice that the next week I wasn't at school at all? That's when I tried to kill myself. My therapist suggested getting me something musical, and well, here I am." My eyes started tearing over, he's such a dumbass.

"So I'll put this out there-and I don't fucking give a shit how brutal the judgement is. I never, never ONCE stopped liking you, Ichigo. I'm not expecting you to like me back, not anywhere close. You can keep hating me for what I did to you, I sure as hell deserve it. You don't have to accept my apology, but I'm sorry, Ichigo. I'm so fucking sorry for everything, every push, shove, laugh, and taunt I sent or had sent your way. And to make it up to you, I'll give you a job. You can take my spot if you want, but join my band or at least let me pay for yours. School, whatever you want. God knows I don't need this shit, don't fucking deserve it. You're better than me in every goddamn way and you deserve it all." His limbs were shaking.

"I still love you."

Tears streaming down my face, I walk up towards the stage. "You fucking idiot, you're such a fucking idiot. You were horrible but...I have to forgive you. I pity no one, but I'm sorry too. So fucking sorry. For everything." I yell out. "You're a fucking DUMBASS! YOU HEAR ME? I always, ALWAYS liked you, you fucktard!"

He smiled through his memories, opening his arms. "You didn't do anything, it was all me."

I ran into them. "You fucking cut yourself, you almost died. YOU COULD HAVE TOLD ME YOU LIKED ME YOU IDIOT, I wouldn't have sabotaged your life, your everything!"

"Yeah. I guess, it all really seems stupid now. Will you join? It's free publicity." He says through a grin.

"Fuck yeah I'll join! Suck ass at it though. Suck ass at singing mainly." I shuddered as he smirked.

"We'll test that. Shiro told you bout the debut thing? The song's called Over and Over and here's the lyrics. Sing it with me." The blunet says as he thrusts some paper into my hands.

A quick glance over my shoulder tells me that he's serious, the other band members are already preparing themselves, soft smiles replacing hard, pitying stares. Obviously Grimmjow was telling the truth when he spread his story.

"So, crowd. What do you think? Should Ichi here sing with me?" He calls out. The reply is unanimous, the entire gathering would love it.

Grimmjow starts out slowly.
I feel it everyday,
It's all the same.
It brings me down but I'm the one to blame.
I've tried everything to get away
So here I go again, chasing you down again
Why do I do this?
Over and over, over and over
I fall for you
Over and over, over and over
I try not to

My turn, fuck.

It feels like every day
Stays the same
It's dragging me down and I can't pull away
So here I go again
Chasing you down again
Why do I do this
Over and over, over and over
I fall for you
Over and over, over and over
I try not to
Over and over, over and over
You make me fall for you
Over and over, over and over
You don't even try to

The crowd is going fucking nuts as Grimmjow and I get closer and closer, face to face. We decide to leave the song in favor of kissing, his lips pressed softly against mine. He wraps a hand around the back of my neck in an effort to deepen our kiss and I submissively wrap my arms around his neck. I can feel him smirk against my mouth, tongue tracing my lips.

Renji steps up from behind his drum set. "Ahem. Hate to interrupt, but we kinda have songs to show, maybe a few more new ones if the crowd wants it."

Grimmjow groans, pulling the mic closer to him. "So now that all that shit's over, I hope my stragglers (name for the fans) are ready for some kick-ass music! Right fuckin here, RIGHT FUCKING NOW!" He screams the last bit, dragging it out. God I can feel my legs wobble with just that.

He pulls me close.
'I said are you gonna be my girl?
So one two three take my hand and come with me cuz you look so fine that I really wanna make ya mine
I say ya look so fine that I really wanna make ya mine

Oh four five six c'mon and get your kicks cuz you don't need money with a face like that do ya, honey?'

A blush spreads across my face, thinking of how much I'd love to be his. He sings really awesomely, low enough to sound manly and raspy enough to sound sexy. As he finished up the song I just sit and think, what if I sang one? Told the guys to just follow along? That'd be cool, Grimmjow'd be fine with it...right?

"Hey dude. I wanna sing something." I say, hand extended for the mic.

"Sure berry." He turns to the band. "Guys, follow this dude." Then he centers his view on the crowd. "You ready to fuckin make some noise? The is a rare goddamn treat, so you stragglers better fuckin enjoy it!"

"Haha guys, this song has no meaning to me but its FUCKIN AWESOME! Try this one on for size!"

'The situations,
Are irrelevant now
He loves the way that I tease
I love the way that he breathes
I touched his
He touched my
It was the craziest thing
I love the boys who hate to love because they're just like me
A certain boy he took my hand and ran it up his thigh
He licked his lips and pulled my hair,
I'll fall in love for a night.'

I continue through the song, totally lost in it. Grimmjow's mouth is wide open. "Close it darling, you'll catch flies." I say, blowing him a kiss. For some reason I feel way overconfident.

The entire band is laughing now, Starrk even adds in "I think I might like this dude, he's fuckin cool." Which makes me feel godly.

We finish up the night with a few more songs, and then we have to close up. "Sorry, but that's all we've got for tonight, stragglers. Say good night to Ichi berry here!"

As the crowd shouts goodnight I attempt to get off of the stage, blushing like mad. Grimmjow comes up behind me and throws me over his shoulder, leaving me to beat his back with my fists. "NOT FUCKING FAIR GRIMMJOW! NOT. FUCKING. FAIR!"

"Shaddup Ichi, you're acting like a little bitch. I just wanna take ya back to my fuckin car so I can get back ta tha hotel." He practically growls into my ear. "I'm thinking I'm gonna fuck ya."

"You mean make love?" I question.

He stops in his tracks, eyeing me like an asshole who just found a brand new pocket pussy. "No. I don't usually do that. I fuck, and I fuck hard."