Tomorrow we end the blight, after Riordan's explanation of the sacrifice grey wardens make to end the blight I feel a bit angry and sad. Then Riordan announces he should be the one to take the final blow. That sniveling brat Alistair couldn't see past his need for vengeance when I recruited Loghain and ran away like a petulant child. I'm almost sorry I pleaded for his life with Anora. He thrust me into this position. Even though he was the more experienced warden, then bitched and moaned the entire time. He actually wanted to be warden thought it was best thing that happened to him. Alistair above all people should have understood that there were only 3 of us to defeat the archdemon. We need more than just the 3 of us…stupid child.

I turned down Morrigan's "offer." I highly doubt I could get Loghain to agree anyway. A powerful witch giving birth some extremely powerful mage/witch-god-child is a really bad idea no matter how it is pitched.

Loghain may be an unwilling warden as I am but he will do the job and be an asset to us. I hate the idea of the man becoming hero for taking out the archdemon at least now he understands why wardens are necessary to kill an archdemon…Blighted Ass. I figured all along it had something to do with the taint but that fool was too blinded for fear of Orlais to see beyond his own prejudices. I will take that blow myself before I let Loghain do it. I ordered him to not take the final blow unless I fail. He disagreed but his opinions along with his prejudices can go the void. I'm in command here not Loghain. My anger at Loghain and Alistair along with thoughts of impending death for all of us leads me back to Riordan's door. He has been my confidant as he took it upon himself to watch over me during my recovery from the mistreatment I incurred at Fort Drakon. During those days we had gotten to know each other pretty well. I knock gently in case he might actually be asleep. Much to my surprise I am bade to enter.

"Can't sleep, Lady Cousland?" Riordan asks smiling slightly. He is obviously wearing comfort clothing consisting of wide neck tunic that shows some of his muscled chest and loose fitting breaches.

"The events of the Landsmeet and impending battle do have me out of sorts," I admit smiling wryly. I wonder if the use of my title is politeness at this point or a way of putting some distance between us.

He reaches over grabbing a bottle and glasses. "My own blend," He says smiling. I nod smiling back at him.

"I'm sorry that Alistair couldn't be persuaded," He says regretfully.

"He's shown us his true colors, we do what we must," I muse taking a sip of the brew. It's heady and strong, I smile at the taste. Looking at noble man across from me I realize that I truly like him. I mean he's easy on the eyes of course but it's more than that.

"I would not have thrust you into such a position," He says looking at me intensely, "but I must say you have handled it with grace and diplomacy, Lady Cousland. We aren't judges. Kinslayers, blood mages, traitors, rebels, carta thugs, common bandits: Anyone with the skill and the mettle to take up the sword against the darkspawn is welcome among us."

I smirk at the title, "I quit being Lady Cousland when Howe killed my family and I was recruited into the grey wardens. I am thankful however that Fergus still lives."

I wish Duncan still lived as well; he might have succeeded with Alistair where I didn't. I muse for a moment when I flirted with him and relished a few moments we had together. I must have looked a million miles away. I'm drawn out of my daydream by Riordan.

"A sovereign for your thoughts?" He asks smiling.

"I was just remembering Duncan," I say honestly with fondness, "he might have succeeded convincing Alistair to stay with us. I don't think Alistair and his brother were very close. His childish need for vengeance might have been lessened if Duncan were still alive."

"You may be right," he answers thoughtfully.

"Well what's done is done," I say simply draining the glass, "I should let you rest."

He stops me by taking my hand holding the glass and refilling it. Looking indecisive for a moment he finally speaks, "You've been alone enough, Alanna, stay and we will keep each other company. I am thankful for the company as well. I've spent too much time alone myself as of late." He ends mischievously with a twinkle in his eye.

The somber mood has taken a turn for the playful. I note the use of my name and not a title. I decide to make things a bit more personal. I grin at him and brazenly take a seat on his lap. He looks a bit surprised at my saucy gesture but accepts it. "I don't think either of us should be alone tonight," I tease smirking as I sip at the wine.

"So you prefer your men, with bit more …sophistication?" he quips wrapping one arm around my waist lightly as he sips at his wine.

"Hmmm I prefer men who act like men," I say cheekily running my hand through his hair undoing his braids.

"So, you and Duncan?" He says perceptively letting his hand ghost over my arm and entwining it in my long honey red tresses pulling out the pins that are keeping my severe bun in place.

"Yes," I answer honestly, "does that bother you?"

"Makers breathe, no." He says as if surprised by the question, "If anything I am grateful that he had your company before he …" he pulls out the last pin and my hair tumbles down over my shoulders settling almost to my waist. He looks at me and takes a ragged breath, "By the Maker! You should wear it down more often; do you even realize how beautiful you are?"

"No, but I'm getting the idea. Do you realize how handsome you are?" I tease leaning over to drag my lips over the pulse point on his neck. He shudders at the ghosting kiss.

"I think I'm getting the idea as well," he quips in return, planting butterfly kisses on my jaw. I pull away just momentarily and quickly drain my wineglass setting it on the nearby table so I have both hands free. I notice he has done the same. Turning to face him I lean into his neck taking a deep breath as I run my tongue over his color bone. He smells of sandalwood, cinnamon and masculinity, it's a heady combination. I run my hands up under his tunic exploring his well-muscled chest.

Riordan is not passive by any means his deft hands working the buttons of my vest and blouse pulling it to the side to expose more skin. He leans back to look at his handy work. Then pulls me into a bruising kiss demanding entrance, I comply eagerly. He tastes of wine and a lingering touch of apples which I imagine came from the plates thoughtfully placed in our rooms. He pulls my vest and blouse off my arms discarding it to side as I wear no breast band I'm exposed and the cooler air of the room causes me to shiver slightly. He reaches around me in an attempt to pull me into his warmth and finds the small dagger I had hidden under the clothing and tucked into my britches. He grins as he pulls it out and inspects it.

"You're a dangerous woman Alanna," he teases with his bright cerulean eyes twinkling, "I like beautiful and dangerous things."

"Well in that case maybe I should let you find all of them," I quip saucily grinning. Tugging at his tunic, I growl in frustration. "Off!" I command he complies with haste. Pulling his hidden dagger out as well, I can't help but to chuckle again. I turn and face him again deciding to straddle his lap pulling him into a steamy kiss.

He pulls me flush with his chest running his hands through my hair and over my back until he hits a scar and I jump slightly. "Still sensitive?" He asks concerned.

"Fort Drakon," I answer quickly not wanting to think about it nibbling on his neck making him squirm slightly. He drops the subject then. Cupping my behind he pulls back looking at me …"shall we take this somewhere more comfortable?" I kiss him deeply in reply as I wrap my arms around his neck. He grasps me a bit more firmly before standing up and carrying me to the bed.

Riordan is very considerate as he gently bends forward to set me on the bed. He hovers over me planting kisses on my collar bone before working his way down to my breasts. I gasp as he laves at a breast causing peaks of almost electric pleasure to shoot through me. Causing me to arch my back toward him as he gives the other breast the same treatment, I wrap my hands in his hair and caress the back of his neck having little mind to think of anything else. He kisses a trail hot path down to my navel and looks up at me …questioning …asking.

Such a gentleman, I decide as I nod my agreement. He removes my boots and finds a dagger strapped to each calf and chuckles softly, "I believe I may have found them."

I smile at him with a hooded gaze. "I believe so too," I answer huskily. Then as he removes my breaches with my smallclothes in one movement, I remember the huge nasty scar going from inner hipbone down to my knee I tense slightly and try to cover it. He pulls my hand away "no, let me look at you, ma Chérie." I comply reluctantly. He traces the scar gently, "Ostagar?" He asks. I nod again for there is nothing to say.

"It shows that you are incredibly strong and you've survived much," He says his voice hoarse with desire, as he traces another scar along my side making me shiver, "these scars are the colors in the painting of your life, they add beauty and complexity to piece." He brings his face back up to mine kissing me fiercely. I return the kiss with equal voracity biting his bottom lip eliciting a groan. Reaching my hands down to his belt I make quick work of it. "Off!" I command with a bit more insistence.

He chuckles a bit smugly and stands to remove his breeches. Unabashed I look him over from head to toe, his beautiful muscular body is also peppered with several scars that are lighter than his skin and accented by very evident arousal. I crawl across the bed over to him and grab is hand to pull him down on the bed so that I can reach him better. Using feather light strokes I trace a line from his neck to his navel, following it up butterfly kisses that cause him to squirm. Pushing him to lay flat on the bed, I plant kisses up and down his hip bones and inner thighs causing him to squirm a bit more, turning my head to look up at him he's almost chuckling. "Ticklish I see," I note teasingly. He smiles helplessly, "you've found my weakness, Chérie."

I grin impishly at him and quickly wrap my mouth around him swirling my tongue. His startled gasp of "by the maker" turns quickly into a groan. He writhes deliciously under my ministrations wrapping my hair around his hands, occasionally uttering an Orlesian phrase to two. I decide that I definitely like him squirming and grin inwardly. "Alanna," He says huskily, "if you don't stop…" He disengages his hands from my hair.

I raise my gaze to look at Riordian's face pulling my lips off of him with an unceremonial pop, and grin mischievously at him, "We both have grey warden stamina remember?" I tease slightly mocking. Not waiting for a reply I take him back in my mouth and double my efforts. In mere moments the he has entwined his hands in my hair and is thrusting his hips. He is aching for release. I, however, want to relish this moment and slow down a bit getting an irritated growl in reply. Feeling a bit smug and maybe a bit remorseful for the teasing him after a few moments, I quicken my movements. Soon he shudders and gasps, "Alanna!" as his orgasm hits him. I continue working him with my mouth until the tremors stop.

I slowly sit up rolling my neck a few times to work out the kinks and look at him. I can't help the smile crossing my face as he looks so relaxed and not damn serious. "Wine?" I ask.

"Maker, yes," he says, catching his breath, "That would be lovely." I walk across the room with no thought about the scars crossing my body. I realize he gave me a greater gift, confidence in my own body again and I am grateful. I refill the abandoned glasses and walk back over the bed sitting beside him I offer him one. "I want to thank you," I say slowly but awkwardly, "about the scars thing."

He looks at me confused for a moment and understanding hits him. "I assume your noble upbringing placed a high priority on beauty and unmarred flesh?"

I nod chuckling, "if mother knew I had so much as a scratch I was taken immediately to a healer. She didn't see the sun for years. It was a double standard if Fergus got a scar it made him manlier."

"But she didn't keep you from training with daggers?" he asks cocking his head curiously.

"Oh she tried," I reply stifling a snicker, "but Father and I won that battle. Seeing the healer was part of the agreement."

Riordan smiles widely at that, and then gets a most mischievous twinkle in those amazingly eyes. "Mon Chérie, I should be thanking you," he says slyly taking the wineglass from my hand. Before I can say a single word I am pushed back on the bed pinned down by his weight as he kisses me brutally, almost senselessly. I can do nothing but return the kiss that is reigniting my desire for him. He snakes a hand over my breast to circle my nipple that immediately pebbles and I moan against his mouth. Ghosting his lips up my neck to my ear, "I should at the very least repay the favor." He says in lower husky voice.

Riordan's voice in my ear makes me shudder. He seems pleased with this reaction. As he replaces his hand on my breast with his mouth making me writhe as hot tendrils of searing desire pool in my belly. Sitting back and ghosting his hands down my body and legs, he lifts a foot planting a kiss on my ankle working his way up to my knee. After settling another kiss firmly on the back of my knee he runs his thumbs in feather light circles there, which strangely enough causes me to moan.

"So responsive, had I known I would have started with this." He smirks as he kisses his way up my inner thigh. Once he reaches the juncture of my thighs he ghosts over my curls, much to my disappointment, and leaning back again he grabs my other foot to start the process on the other leg. I realize that he teasing me much I had done earlier to him. I relax into the kisses and feather-light touches that are making me hunger for more. Once reaches my center he drags his fingers lightly over me causing me to squirm and groan. Dipping his head down he lightly flicks his tongue over me, as I squirm in an effort to create more friction. Sensing this he rubs his thumb over my lips giving me a bit more pressure but still teasing as he slips his tongue gaining entrance the action causes small moans to leave my mouth. I was never shy about touching myself my hands make their way to my breasts. He looks up and seeing my hands at work he grins in approval.

Lowering his head again, he wraps his mouth around my nub that had been purposefully ignored and sucks hard swirling his tongue. His mouth is feels cool in contrast to the heat of my body. I nearly fly off the bed in response my orgasm is almost immediate. He laves away at me causing me to shudder with pleasure. He is amazingly letting me ride it out and still keeping my desire at a high. I want more. I want him. I look down at him through hooded eyes. "Riordan please," I moan. He looks up at me curiously. "I need…" He doesn't wait for me to finish with almost feline grace, he has moved up and he is kissing me ferociously as he hilts himself. I gasp against his mouth. He stills waiting for me to adjust.

"Maker's grace, Riordan, move," I say huskily rolling my hips. I don't need time to adjust. I just need this. He needs no further prodding as he moves in deliciously slow strokes. I close my eyes groaning pleasure. "Look at me, Alanna. Let me see you." Riordan says desire lacing his voice.

I pry my eyes open looking into his cerulean blues, the effect is intense. I have never felt more naked as he looks intensely into my eyes. My desire heightens with this realization and I find words tumbling from my lips "More Riordan!"

He complies moving faster and harder his eyes never leaving mine. I moan in almost sobbing gasps as heat pools more intensely within me. Just a bit more, I press against him harder snapping my hips against his. Sensing my need he slides his hand to lightly brush my already over sensitized button sending me over the edge. I clamp down on him as another wave of bliss passes through me. Keening his name I make the effort to keep my eyes glued to his. This seems to be enough to make him come undone as well as he shudders into me loudly groaning "Alanna, Mon Cherie" and slumps down resting his body on mine.

I reach over pushing a lock of hair away from his face. He smiles at me blissfully and rolls to lie beside me. I turn to face him as he takes my face in his hands pulling me into a gentle kiss. "Stay with me," He says looking at me.

"As if I would leave now," I smile at him tenderly.

Riordan reaches down yanks the blankets up over us; laying down again he pulls me onto his chest. I intertwine my body with his using his chest as pillow.

"Comfortable?" He asks.

I nod sleepily. We lay in blissful stupor letting sleep overtake us. I hear Riordan's breathing evening out and figure he's drifted off. He is such a noble man. I would be perfectly happy to remain at his side. "I think I may love you," I whisper softly. As I drift off to sleep I hear Riordan whisper, "Je te aime ma chérie."