So this story is more of an experiment than anything else. Inspired by something Marshall said in my story "The Bet", I decided to showcase a series of phone calls between Marshall and Ted over the course of the Eriksens' year in Italy. It's dialogue-only, so very different from my other fics, but something I wanted to try. Hope I got the guys' voices down pat, and any feedback is always welcome! (Also, this story mentions numerous events from my other stories, since it all occurs in the same universe I've concocted.) Enjoy!
"Pronto?"
"Marshall?"
"Il mio amico, Ted! Come stai?"
"Um... good? Hey, can we switch to English?"
"Sorry, bro: trying to expand my Italian. Andiamo fratello non Mastroianni tutti I funyons can only take you so far over here. How are you doing?"
"I'm well! How are you guys? How's Rome?"
"Not even 24 hours in, but we're doing ok. Lily's already jumped right into work. On a Saturday, can you believe it? So I'm here with Marvin, unpacking. How's Tracy?"
"She's good. Gonna see her tonight; we're grabbing a bite to eat, then heading over to her place to watch a movie."
"Her place, huh?"
"It's not like that; we've only been dating four days."
"I'm just saying, Ted. If anything does happen, it is my duty as your best friend to remind you to use protection."
"Ha. Ha. Thanks, dad. Anyway, it won't happen tonight, I don't think. I won't force anything; it'll happen when it happens."
"I'm proud of you, buddy. Some things are worth the wait. But, you know, when it does happen, you'll totally tell me all about it, right?"
"Dude, c'mon: I'm not a horny teenager who needs to boast to his buddies about his conquests. I'm not going to rush to the phone right after it happens just to tell you how it went down."
"Ok, ok, fair enough. Crap, Marvin's walking towards a box of breakables. I've got to go!"
"Alright. Bye, Marshall. Talk to you soon."
"Ciao ciao, Ted!"
"Bro!"
"Ted?"
"Bro..."
"What is it, man?"
"I want to tell you. But I shouldn't. Because then I'll be the horrible boyfriend who just had to boast to his best friend about certain... events... from last night. So I need you to guess the obvious here."
"Ah. I take it you and Tracy had sex?"
"Yes!"
"Didn't you tell me a couple of weeks ago that you weren't going to call and tell me about it?"
"I'm not calling to tell you. You asked me if we did it, and I merely confirmed the fact."
"Semantics, Ted."
"Whatever, man. Just... ask me how it was, ok?"
"Ok, how—"
"It was amazing, Marshall! Tracy and I, man, we just connected on this whole other level. I mean, it was our first time, so it wasn't perfect. But it was perfectly imperfect, you know?"
"I do know. I remember my first time with Lily..."
"So do I. I was there, remember?"
"Heh. Yeah, sorry about that, buddy. But, anyway, the second time will be even better. When it's the love of your life, it only gets even more amazing."
"Oh, I know. We did it twice last night. And once this morning. She's in the shower now. Bro, she's in my shower!"
"And yet, here you are, talking on the phone with me..."
"Shut up, man. I'm just giving her some space. We've been joined at the hip—"
"You mean joined at the groin..."
"—since last night, so maybe she'd like a moment to herself, that's all."
"That's very considerate of you, Ted."
"Well, I am a considerate boyfriend. And I was very considerate this morning. For which she was very grateful..."
"TMI, buddy. I think you're mistaking me with Barney."
"Sorry. But, man, I'm just falling for her so fast. And after last night... when I can't believe you went to the Colliseum without letting me know beforehand! I could've given you and Lily a list of fun facts."
"Tracy's in the room, isn't she?"
"She's dripping wet in nothing but a towel and-I've-gotta-go-Marshall-bye!"
"Ted? Ted? You there?"
"Marshall! I'm in love!"
"I know, Ted. We've all known for weeks now. We get your daily newsletters."
"No, but it's official now. I love her. And she loves me. She loves me, man!"
"Aw, congrats, buddy! So you finally told her how you feel?"
"I did! It was the scariest thing in the world. But, you know: they were the easiest words that have ever come out of my mouth."
"That's awesome, bro. And I'm proud of you: you told her five weeks in! Way better than saying it, oh I don't know, on the first date."
"You guys will never let me live that down, huh?"
"Not a chance. So when did this happen?"
"30 minutes ago. We're back at her place now; she left the room to slip into something more comfortable."
"And, yet again, you're calling me. I think Kevin was right: we may have an issue with boundaries, buddy."
"I don't think so. Oh, I think I hear her coming. I've got to go. I'll call you later after we do it. Bye!"
"You really don't have to... Bye, Ted."
"Hey, Ted! What's up?"
"I'm going to marry this girl someday, Marshall!"
"Oh, I'm well, thanks for asking. Lily's pregnancy is going along swimmingly; the baby is strong and healthy..."
"I'm sorry, man. I have been making it all about me, haven't I?
"I'm just teasing, bro. You haven't been this happy in a long time, so I'll let you have this. Until the baby's born; then I get to monopolize the conversation."
"Thanks. But I am glad you guys are doing well. I miss you. Especially this time of year: it's so weird not having Thanksgiving dinner together."
"Same here. But I'm sure you're having a good time meeting Tracy's family."
"I am. Dinner last night was delicious, and her family's pretty awesome. And I seem to have made a good impression on them, so that's a relief."
"You didn't say anything too pretentious?"
"Not a one!"
"Good! I'm glad. This is a big step for you, Ted."
"It is! It's all moving so smoothly and perfectly."
"Hence all this marriage talk. You sure you're not jumping the gun?"
"Geez, it's not as if I proposed to her..."
"Which is surprising, given your track record. Didn't Stella get a ring at the five-month mark?"
"She did. And you saw how that turned out. I'm just saying, we kinda vaguely broached the topic last night in bed, and it seems we're both headed in that same direction."
"Really?"
"Yeah. And it was... reassuring. To finally be with someone who's on the same page, you know? I'm not chasing after a pipe dream or barking up the wrong tree. Tracy, she's my forever girl. And, apparently, I'm her forever guy."
"Forever's a long time, you know."
"I do. And... forever doesn't sound all that scary. Oh, crap, I've gotta go. Tracy's mom's calling me: she's about to make breakfast for everyone, and I promised I'd whip up some of my waffles!"
"Now you're making waffles for her family? Wow, this is serious!"
"I know you're making fun of me, but I don't care. Later, Marshall."
"Talk to you soon, buddy."
"Buon Natale, Ted!"
"Yeah, yeah, Merry Christmas, whatever..."
"Why the Scrooge-like attitude, man?"
"Tracy's back home and I have to spend the holidays in stupid Ohio."
"I'm so glad this new relationship of yours has brought on new levels of maturity for you..."
"I know, I'm acting childish. But this should've been our first Christmas together; I had plans, bro. Big plans!"
"Christmas morning sex under the tree? Lily and I have done that; it's overrated, trust me."
"Not just that, although thanks for the heads up on that. Just... being with her, you know? Waking up together, enjoying coffee by the tree, whipping up some waffles for her. I was going to give her a gift each day for the 12 days of Christmas, and now I just have to mail a present out to New Jersey every day instead. It's not the same!"
"You'll see her soon enough. You'll be back in New York in five days."
"The longest five days of my life... Now I know how John Adams must've felt like when he was apart from Abigail during his times in Europe."
"You're comparing yourself to John Adams? Seriously, buddy?"
"You're right: our distance is much harder to bear."
"Totally. All they faced was the likes of war and smallpox. What a cakewalk their separation was..."
"Ok, ok... Maybe I'm overreacting."
"Oh, you've reached a whole other level of overreacting, my friend. Barney facing a suit shortage doesn't come with this much drama."
"Fine. I'll stop complaining. I'll just listen to the song she recorded for me some more."
"Atta boy. By the way, The Proclaimers on the ukelele? We totally need Tracy on our next road trip!"
"Right? Right?! Oh, gotta go! I think I just got a text from her. Merry Christmas, Marshall. Give my love to Marvin and Lily. Let me know when Daisy arrives."
"Lily's due in less than a week, so any day now, I hope. Take care of yourself, buddy. I'll talk to you soon."
"Bye, Marshall."
"Bye, Ted."
"Hello?"
"Buddy, you won't believe what Tracy did for me for Valentine's Day!"
"Scavenger hunt in the city that led you to the top of the Empire State Building?"
"No, she—Wait, yeah. How the hell did you know?"
"She mentioned it to Lily a few days ago."
"Oh. Ok, then. Anyway, it was just amazing!"
"Uh, not as amazing as watching Predator for the 18th Valentine's Day in row—in Italian, might I add!—but sure, Tracy's scavenger hunt sounds cute."
"She put a lot of time and effort in planning the whole thing, man."
"Do you even know how long it took me to find a DVD copy of Predator over here?"
"Well, Tracy wore this super-sexy gothic chainmail corset! So there!"
"Yeah, well, Lily wore absolutely nothing."
"Tracy and I did it twice!"
"Well, Lily and I... Ok, so Daisy started crying and got more boob action than I did last night. But my wife's got huge lactating boobs! So they're bigger than your girlfriend's!"
"Hey, Marshall, are we seriously comparing the size of our women's breasts?"
"Yeah... Ok, I see that things may have gotten ugly. Truce?"
"Truce: we both had an awesome Valentine's Day, and both Tracy and Lily have above-average breasts."
"Agreed. And, hey, I'm happy you had a great Valentine's Day."
"Thanks. And you know, I envy you: I'm actually looking forward to the day when I can happily watch Predator with Tracy on Valentine's Day, and have our sex life interrupted by a crying baby. That's the dream."
"That is the dream, man! You'll get it soon enough, I'm sure of it."
"I hope so."
"Ok, I've got to go, man. The kids are asleep, so Lily and I are going to try and pick up where we left off last night. Wish me luck!"
"G'luck, buddy. Talk to you tomorrow."
"Marshall!"
"Hey, Ted! How's it—"
"I-bought-a-ring."
"Wait, what?!"
"I—I bought a ring. Just now. Tracy's in L.A. for Kelly's bachelorette trip, so it seemed like the perfect opportunity to go ring shopping."
"Whoa, Ted. That's... huge!"
"I know! Am I crazy?"
"Not at all, bro. You guys are serious about each other, and you've talked about marriage and stuff. Maybe it's time."
"Yeah. It is. I really think it's time."
"I'm so happy for you, man. What compelled you to do this?"
"Well, last week after work, I went to Tracy's apartment like I usually do. I used my key and walked in, and there she was, just sitting on the couch, reading a book."
"And?"
"And... that's it. She was just sitting there and smiled up at me, and I thought, wow, I want to come home and find her reading on the couch for the rest of my life."
"Aw, man, I'm so happy for you! Wait 'til I tell Lily!"
"No! No way. I've told you this in confidence, and no one else must know. Your wife cannot be trusted."
"But I tell her everything! I can't keep such a big secret from her, I just can't."
"You have to, because once Lily knows, then it'll be a matter of time before it gets back to Tracy. Not even the Atlantic Ocean can slow down that message."
"Fine, fine. But when are you thinking of proposing? I need to know for how long I need to keep this to myself..."
"Um, I haven't quite thought that far ahead yet. All my brain had time to muster was, Must marry girl. Need ring."
"Fair enough. Anyway, you'll figure something out. You're Ted Mosby, master of the Big Romantic Gesture."
"Oh, I'm sure. I don't know where or when it'll happen, but it has to be amazing. I mean, seriously, I have to blow her mind!"
"It's pretty crazy to believe you two have been together for almost a year."
"I know. And it's been almost a year since you guys left. Lots has happened during that time, huh?"
"Yeah. We can't wait for you all to finally meet Daisy. Those pictures I sent you don't do her justice; she is just beautiful."
"One more month! I really can't wait to see you guys again. The six of us, together in Farhampton again..."
"It's going to be a memorable weekend, that's for sure."
"It really will. And I know you guys only spent a little time with Tracy before you left for Italy, but—"
"Ted?"
"Yeah?"
"We love her, man. Don't worry about it. She's already one of us."
"Ok. Ok, good. Because she'll be sticking around, Marshall. I promise you that."
"I don't doubt it. Just go and make her Mrs. Ted Mosby already, you hear?"
"All in good time, I swear. For now, I'm happy with Ms. Tracy McConnell. Anyway, speaking of which, it's 9 a.m. in California. I need to call and see just how hungover my girlfriend is at the moment. When she goes out drinking with Kelly, moderation gets thrown out the window."
"Uh-oh."
"Nah, she's a fun drunk. Adorable, even. You'll see; she doesn't get wasted often but, when she does, it's a sight to see."
"And you're the one left to take care of the pukey aftermath."
"Hey, I consider it an honor to deal with her vomit."
"That's love, man."
"Ha! It really is, isn't it? Anyway, I'll talk to you soon, Marshall."
"Talk soon, Ted. Have a good one."
END