Memory 9: Goodbye to My Loathsome Past

His eyes snapped open. In the darkness that greeted him, as his eyes adjusted, he could hear his heavy breathing. Thinking back about his dreams and the mental torture of seeing him dead was terrifying. His chest still felt cold, as though fear and horror had grown hands that refused to let go of his heart. Even his eyes tingled, the unrelenting dreams that refused to let him sleep, the dreams that started off so well yet ended with his heart and spirit crushed, all of that was just too damn much.

Shit... He brought up his right hand to cover his eyes, hiding the tears that threatened to fall. After gathering his composure, or what little was left after that nightmare, he took a deep breath, trying to relax.

"Hey, you alright?"

Naruto flinched at that voice. The same voice that had been in his dreams. The same voice that suggested activities he was too dense to notice. The voice that came from lips always in a lazy grin, a gaze from dark brown eyes with a predatory glint in them. He tried to relax, to force his tense body to pretend everything was alright because it was. No more would such a tragedy befall this world.

Realizing his bedmate was waiting for a response, Naruto opened his lips, intent on giving a positive response, but what came out wasn't what he expected. It wasn't even a word that left his lips, just a strangled sound. A sound that reflected how he felt after his memories left him.

There was just too many damn emotions. Regret at not being strong enough, fear of everything being taken away, despair always lurking in the back of his mind, anger at his own failures, and lastly, he just felt too relieved. No more would he have to deal with that haunting silence of a dead Konoha. Now he and his faithful friends could all live in a better world, a world that wouldn't leave them in despair and weeping over the destroyed past.

Before he could even try saying something again, warm arms wrapped around his torso.

Removing his right hand, his blue eyes automatically looked over at the older man beside him, and he remembered it.

Genma was alive. Genma was alive. He didn't have a hole through his stomach. The brunet didn't have blood splattered on his hair that spilled onto the floor, painting Naruto's world with a vermillion red that was too hot because Naruto couldn't heal the fatal wound. Because Naruto didn't know enough medical jutsus to help the man who had left the world with unfinished words of love. Because every time he tried to heal him by transferring chakra, he only hurt him more.

"Ge-" Naruto tried again, stubbornly trying to let the name of the man who had loved him so much, but he was caught off guard.

"I know, Naruto, I know," Genma whispered back as he turned to lay on his right side to face the younger man. His brown eyes were understanding, his voice low and soothing. "I went through bad dreams too." His lips quirked up as he recalled his own dream. "Wanna listen to my dream?"

Shuffling to his left side, Naruto nodded, his throat too tight to say anything.

With a low chuckle, Genma brushed back some strands of hair that covered the younger man's face. He noted the full moon present in their bedroom window, surrounded by stars each twinkling as though to cheer up the moon and show it wasn't alone. Just like his dream, moonlight caressed Naruto and for a moment, Genma was brought back to that one night where he truly noticed Uzumaki Naruto and not the jinchuriki holding the Kyuubi.

Deciding he had spent enough time admiring the blond in his bed, he slowly began retelling the dream. "I dreamed of the time you comforted me, Naruto."

Instantly, Naruto scrunched his face and pulled back a bit, using the orange cover to hide.

Almost sighing at the thought Genma knew was definitely running through the blond's head, he made sure to clarify himself. "It's not a dirty dream, Naruto." He waited for the blond to come closer again before he continued with a small smirk. "Although if you want, we can certainly-"

"Genma."

He couldn't help it; Genma chuckled at the exasperated look sent his way. "Sorry, couldn't help it. Now, now, don't pout like that, you're teasing me."

With a sigh, the brunet laid on his back, but didn't let go of Naruto, instead he brought the blond closer to his bare chest to remind Naruto he was still alive. Fortunately, he didn't fight against Genma and if anything, moved closer to him, enveloping himself in as much warmth as possible.

"You were only seven and just like tonight, it was a full moon. I was still in ANBU, watching over you to make sure you didn't get hurt." He sent a playful grin at Naruto. "You were so small I thought for sure you were five." Ignoring the small grumble of a protest, he continued on. "That week, I lost my girlfriend, the girl I thought I'd marry. She died right in front of me, and I couldn't do anything to save her."

At Naruto's flinch, he tightened his grip on the blond and gave a sad smile. "It's never easy to see someone you care die in front of you. I was a teenager, and I was stupid and naïve. I thought 'this is the end, I'll never move on from her,' and then you suddenly decided to talk to me."

"That's 'cause you looked sad out there," Naruto added in a soft voice, his own mind traveling down memory lane.

Raising an eyebrow, Genma's brown eyes softened and a smile lit his face. "Did I look that pitiful?" he joked. "Anyway, you told me that if I didn't have anyone to love me, you'd love me."

Naruto gawked at the older man. "W-wait a sec, did I seriously-"

"Yep. Even said you'd marry me," Genma added with a full-blown grin.

Looking at him suspiciously, Naruto pointed out, "How come I don't remember that?"

"You don't?" Genma replied, surprised. "Huh, and here I thought I'd simply reminisce our little promise with you. Maa maa, I guess I'll just try to joggle your memory," he added with a smile. Nuzzling blond hair, Genma backed away, enjoying the shy gaze from Naruto who suddenly had no idea what to do. "Did you really think I suggested a picnic as our first date for no reason?"

"What?" His blue eyes grew at Genma's words. So that picnic seriously was a date?!

Nodding proudly, Genma continued, "Our next date's supposed to be at the hot springs, your request again of course. Naturally we'll be sharing a room and of course a private bath just for us, so we can-"

"Alright, alright! Get back to your dream Genma!" Naruto shouted, his cheeks flaming red at what the other man was suggesting.

Laughing, Genma apologized before he got on track. He really just can't help but tease the blond. "Let's see, my favorite part that day was when after talking up so late, you fell asleep on me and when I carried you back to your bed, you snored."

Thinly hiding his irritation at being teased, Naruto glared at the man again.

With a lazy smile, the brunet added, "It's my favorite because you got me to laugh again."

Naruto's irritation faded away, replacing it with embarrassment at the tender way Genma said it. His cheeks were suddenly way too warm and unused to the soft affection from Genma's eyes that didn't leave his face, his eyes darted around the dark room lit only by moonlight. What was he supposed to say?! "I-I..."

"Naruto," the blond shut his mouth, forcing himself to look up at Genma. The brunet said his name so softly, yet there was something raw and deep about it, and Naruto realized, while he did feel embarrassed at the affection from Genma, it was comforting, and he wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. "Why don't we say goodbye to it? Your past, the place I died. I may not be the same man who was your bodyguard and sensei, but my feelings for you have never changed."

The warm brown gaze narrowed in seriousness as Genma tilted Naruto's chin up. "I won't lie, you've changed from the little boy who shouted out from the top of his lungs he wanted to be Hokage. You've been through so much, and you can't go back to the person you used to be."

His grip was gentle, making sure Naruto would pay attention to his words, but he was free to back away if he wanted to. Genma didn't want to trap Naruto. "But let me tell you this, Naruto. You've experienced so much, so say goodbye to that past. You've persevered and fixed the world. Don't deny yourself the happiness you want your friends to have so dearly."

Naruto froze as he slowly digested what Genma said. Saying goodbye? To the past?

"Naruto, the young man I see in front of me is the one I want to come back to Konoha for," Genma confessed; Naruto needed to hear this. "He's the one I'd fight for, the one I'd want to smile at me only, and the only sun I need."

As Genma's lips moved closer to Naruto's, the blue-eyed blond could only stare with wide eyes. Genma cared for him that much? Before their lips could touch, Genma swiftly moved to Naruto's forehead and placed a kiss there. Naruto felt vaguely disappointed at the kiss there, and yet, he knew exactly why the man would kiss him there.

Trust.

It was a strange feeling to know that Genma trusted him, but it wasn't a bad kind of strange. If anything, the smile he had on his face was enough to tell the other man he was happy. It's okay to be happy now he slowly realized; it's okay to say goodbye to the past that haunted him so much. It'll be alright because all of his friends are alive and happy. Even if the seasons die one by one, another season will come again.

As Genma pulled away, Naruto stopped the man, cupping his cheek. "You..." he felt speechless and at the same time, there were so many words he wanted to say. His chest felt lighter now, after their chat. While he knew it'd take some time for him to accept what had happened in the past, he knew he wasn't alone.

Not anymore. Not with his friends by his side. Not with Genma by his side.

"You're so cheesy, I swear," Naruto finally replies with a larger smile.

Genma huffed and cradled the calloused hand on his cheek. "Well no one else has to know right?" His lips settled into his trademark smirk that sent hearts thumping into overdrive.

Naruto laughs out loud, enjoying this moment of peace, a moment he knows he won't take for granted. Taking a deep breath to release all of his emotions, he looks straight into brown orbs which were dark like the night sky, yet with only the moonlight, Naruto knew how those eyes could instantly flash into a brown color like freshly turned soil, deep with passion and yet light enough to still breathe freely.

What he felt for Genma wasn't just admiration or adoration. No, to call what he felt such things were wrong. What he felt was a mixture of emotions so confusing yet so clear at the same time. It was a supercell of feelings: so rare, yet so strong and powerful.

"Genma," he calls out softly just enough to catch the other's attention. He beams with a thousand-watt smile as Genma who raises an eyebrow curiously. "Thank you."

The man's caught off-guard, but his wide eyes fade as he smiles lovingly. He moves Naruto's hand against his cheek to his lips, pressing the inside of Naruto's palm to his lips which curved up in an intimate smile. The words of the action are unspoken, because both of them know just how strong those two words were.

'I love you' just wasn't strong enough to completely convey their feelings. They were grateful for where they were now, for being able to meet each other, for living long enough, and for accepting each other. To Naruto and Genma, 'thank you' was everything. It was strong, it was kind, it was understanding, and it was unconditional. Not even disasters and death could destroy what they felt.

"Naruto," he whispered to the young blond as he closed the distance between their lips. "For you, I'd do anything because..." He smiled sweetly, full of hope for a future and world where Naruto could laugh and cry in relief. Where the blond could eat ramen and Genma's home-cooked meals. Where the blond could nap on his lap or complain about the Council. Where Naruto was loved and accepted because he was finally home.

"...You're everything to me," Genma finished softly, and he closed the space, enjoying the softness and pure bliss of the moment because he knew it wasn't just Naruto that arrived home, Genma was home as well and he wasn't going anywhere.

-The End-

Damn. I. I don't even know what happened to me. Wow...I...I'm done. To be honest, this pairing left me speechless. I didn't expect to go down this road. Woah.

I'm actually really happy I ended this way as well. I was actually going to end this on the last chapter for angst, but I couldn't do it. These two are like my friends, I wanted them to be happy, so this appeared with so much flowery language and fluff, I'm honestly surprised I wrote this.

Well, I hope you all enjoyed this! Thank you very much for everything! Your support and comments always made my day! I hope you'll all find another fanfic to read!

Bye!