Epilog - 35 years later

Christian

I knew I had to do this. Don't get me wrong, I had and still have the most amazing life... a different life from what I have envisioned when I was an angry young man... before I met my wife and she not just gave me her heart, but showed me that I have a heart to give too. We have been blessed with five amazing children and six grandchildren who keep us young... over the years I have thought about seeing her again... really talking it out... but as soon as the thought came to me I gave it up until three days ago.

Ana came into my study with a newspaper in her hand, showing me the obituary notes. I just nodded, but I guess Ana knew too that I wanted to know. I tried to tell myself I don't need this, that it's too late now... but if life has taught me anything than it is that it is never too late for anything. And here I am on the cemetery staring at the headstone in front of me.

Roslyn 'Ros' Bailey

11/05/1979 - 09/20/2051

Beloved Wife, Mother, Grandmother and Friend

"You know, I have always wondered if you ever regretted what you have done? If the friendship we had was real. Damn it Ros, I considered you a friend in a time of my life where I didn't even like myself... You had your reasons I know, but you should have known better... should have known that I would have moved heaven and earth to keep Gwen's secret safe... to help you... but you sold me out... let them steal four fucking years of my life... fuck, you really fucking hurt me, Ros."

I stop and smile looking at the flowers in my hand as I place them on her grave.

"See, I remembered, after all you said once you are dead you don't mind receiving flowers." I chuckle remembering how many years ago when we sealed our first multi million dollar deal I bought her some flowers and she nearly beat me with them, telling me that if I wanted to celebrate a deal with her, I should buy her a bottle of scotch and not some flowers that I could better use to get myself some pussy. After that, I always got her a bottle of her favorite scotch when we sealed a deal and most often we ended up bat shit drunk in her office.

"I thought about you a lot, Ros. Sometimes I saw us talking things out over a bottle of scotch... but it never happened. I'm sorry you were sick in the end, but I guess you are at a better place now."

"Mr. Grey?" I turn around when I hear an unfamiliar voice saying my name and find a young man, maybe in his late twenties or early thirties walking towards me.

"Are you Christian Grey?" He asks and I nod.

"She knew you would come." He says standing next to me.

"Who are you?"

"Sorry, I forget. I'm Christian... Ros' son." He says and for a moment I'm dumfounded that Ros would name her son after me.

"My mother talked about you a lot in her last days. She said she lived a beautiful live, very different from what she thought it would be, but beautiful all the same. She only had one regret."

"What regret?"

"That she betrayed her best friend... she asked me to give you this." He says and hands me a letter along with a bottle of scotch.

"I leave you to talk... just if you find in your heart to forgive her... she was the best mother any child could ask her... but I know she needs your forgiveness to move on to wherever it is we are going after we leave this world." He says and I nod at him as he turns around to leave.

I sit down on the soft grass in front of her grave and open the letter.

Dear Christian,

You have no idea how often I have a started to write you a letter, but in the end I never went through with it. There is nothing I can do or say to make my betrayal any less painful or horrible as it was. Still, there is one thing I need to say, something I should have told you thirty-five years ago, something I just couldn't say to your face, because I know it wasn't enough.

I am sorry, I'm so very sorry for my part in what happened to you all those years ago. During those years people believed you were gone I was trying to convince myself that it was for the best, that I was keeping my silence to protect Gwen, but the truth is I was scared. So fucking scared to face the reality of what I had done and let happen. With each day that passed my guilt grew and by the time you returned I was too far gone to just confess, I was caught up in my net of lies and there was no way out for me.

Still, it doesn't justify what I have done and what I have taken from you. It wasn't until I had become a mother myself that I fully understood what I had done. I have taken four years in the life of your daughter from you... so many precious moments and for that, I will always be sorry.

You have to believe me that I was never as happy as I was the day I heard you found your way back to your family... I probably never said it out loud, but I considered you my best friend... in a way I have never stopped seeing you as my friend. You could have made sure that I would never leave jail... that I would never find a job again or a home... but you didn't... and for that, I will be forever thankful to you. It was just another way of you showing what an amazing human being you truly are and I hope that with the love of Ana and your family you have learned long ago to see that for yourself.

When I first met you, when you had just started GEH I knew you make it far, but you went beyond anything I could have ever imagined... yet you always seemed lost... not anymore more though... for the last decades when I saw you on the news or in magazines I saw something different... I saw peace in your eyes... that's something that wasn't there before.

And because I saw that, I decide not to intrude and contact you. I didn't want to rip open a wound that had healed so many years ago. Now that I have only days left I know that you will come to visit my grave... it's what I hope and it gives me the opportunity to say what's been on my mind for so many years.

I want you to know that I had a good life, Gwen and I have raised three kids together, we turned an old farm into our dream home and she made dream of owning her own little farmer's market come true.

Never thought that a simple life would be what would make me happy, but it truly did. Of course, I have followed your life through the news coverage... man, five kids, you sure liked to keep Ana heavy with child... and don't think I didn't notice that you started to sport a few gray hairs just around the time Chrissie started to date that actor... good thing she settled for that teacher in the end, he looks like a nice guy.

Anyway... what I really want to say is thank you. I know it's years too late, just like my apology, but I need you to know that I truly cared for you even though in the end I turned out not to be worthy to have a friend like you...

And before this turns too sappy, please have a huge gulp of my favorite scotch and enjoy your life...

Ros

I open the bottle and do just that. "To you" I mutter and shudder. "Damn woman, you always drank the strongest shit you could get your hands on. Your son seems to be a good kid; I bet the other two are too. My own... well they are all good kids, though I'm telling you my two girls dated the biggest assholes just to drive me insane... Chrissie... fuck me, when she dated that actor you mentioned I wanted to kill the bastard... I knew he just used her as arm-candy and fucked around, but she wouldn't listen... well, she is now happily married... has been for fourteen years and Dan, her husband, fucker doesn't give me any reason to hate him."

I smile thinking about my daughter. Chrissie went to Yale and made a degree in literature, before she decided that she wanted to work with kids. Now she is pre-school teacher and has three beautiful little girls. Ted followed in my Dad's footsteps and has become a very successful lawyer and is now head of the GEH legal department. He was known to be a playboy for quite sometime, but five years ago, he found the right woman and married Jessica within four months of meeting her. They have a little boy called Adrian and Jessica is five months pregnant with their second child.

Our second son, Mason, is now thirty-two and has taken over Grey Construction together with EJ. Ana is worried that he will never settle down and have kids, but I know he is just having too much fun fooling around to settle down just yet, so I'm not all that worried about him, once he meets the right girl for him he'll know.

Liam, our third son is completely different. He met his wife Lucy when he was in his senior year in high school and she was just a freshman. I told him to stay the hell away from her until she was eighteen, but he wasn't having it. He went straight to her parent's house, introduced himself and asked for permission to date their daughter. I believe to this day that her parents only agreed because Liam was about to graduate three months later and they thought once he was out of town to go to Harvard they would break up anyway.

Instead, they somehow made it work. He came home to see her as often as he could and when she turned sixteen her parents allowed her to fly down to Boston to see him for a weekend every other month. Ana told me that they were meant to be, but I had my doubts, which were proven wrong when Mason surprised us all by proposing to her on her eighteenth birthday. They got married right after he graduated and moved back to Seattle, where Lucy went to college, before they had their twin girls and little boy.

By now, Liam has become my second in command and runs the day-to-day operations of GEH for me, so that I can slowly progress into retirement. I still feel that at the age of sixty-eight I could work a few more years full time, but then I remember my Dad. He always promised my Mom he would cut back on his work, but even at the ridiculous age of eighty, he went to the office every day, until one day he suffered a heart attack in the middle of the courtroom and died before anyone could call for help.

He always thought he had more time left, time to spend with my Mom and his family, traveling and just enjoy retirement, but it didn't happen for him. After he passed away, my mother almost gave up on herself. She insisted on staying at Bellevue, but it clearly became too much for her. We all offered to take her in, but she declined. It wasn't until she dropped a lot of weight, making us all sick with worry that Ana had enough.

She had lost her own mother just a few months before my Dad passed away and she couldn't handle the prospect of losing Grace as well. So she went to Bellevue and just started to pack for my mother, telling her that she was not going to lose the last living parent she has left, before she broke down crying and begging Grace to live with us. The same day my mother moved in with us and she still does. At the astounding age of one-hundred and five years, my mother is still with us. Sure, she is slower these days and a bit fragile, but she still has her wits about her and loves to spend time with her children, grandchildren and great grandchildren. We know that she won't be with us forever, but we are all so very happy that she is still here that every day with her is a gift for us.

Another gift for us has been Ariella Mia Grey. Our youngest daughter. After Liam, Ana and I wanted to have just one more child, but she didn't get pregnant no matter what we tried. We went to specialist, did everything we were told, but it just wasn't happening. Two invitro fertilizations ended with Ana miscarrying and we decided not to try again, it was just too painful for both of us.

So, we decided to be happy with the four kids we have and never talked about having another child. The week before Ana turned forty I noticed that she looked sick and tired a lot. Then on her birthday when he had a huge family gathering she just passed out during dinner leaving all of us shocked and sick with worry while she was being rushed to the hospital.

That evening at the ER, we found out that Ana was six weeks pregnant. We couldn't believe it at first and then became both scared that Ana would miscarry again, but she didn't and in the end gave birth to our youngest daughter.

We knew right from the start that Ariella would turn out as some kind of artist. She would only sleep while listening to music, would even as a baby stare at paintings for hours on end trying to figure them out and as soon as she could talk she started to sing.

She started to paint as a child and we almost made sure to support her with her artistic talent. Today she has a studio where she paints, makes sculptures and she also sings in a band as female lead and gives concert throughout the state. I offered to get in touch with some record companies, but Ariella, always the free spirit, just enjoys singing for other people and doesn't want the whole fuss that comes with being signed to a huge record company.

Much to my dismay, she has been dating some wannabe rockstars and artist with no future written all over them, but is now in a relationship with Shane Whitmore, son of Ana's and my friend Noah Whitmore.

Shane is a billionaire in his own right and owns nightclubs and hotels all over the country. I would love for them to get married, but they both think it's old fashioned and enjoy their life together without wedding certificate. I'm just glad that she is happy and with someone who is with her, because she is an amazingly talented and beautiful young woman and not because of the Grey name. Still, seeing that they already have an eighteen months old daughter, I would wish they would get married…

"Kids, right Ros? They know how to drive you insane… still they are the greatest gift."

I stare at her grave and slowly get up. "I forgive you, Ros. Not because you are dead and it has been your last wish, but because of the good times we had together… we rocked the business world… we truly did. Goodbye old friend." I mutter and leave the cemetery.

"Were to, Sir?"

"Home, Vince." I answer my CPO who has been with me ever since Taylor had to retire seven years ago. Taylor didn't want to, but his eyesight isn't what it used to be and even with surgery, he can see shit once it gets dark. So he had to retire, though he and Gail still live at the apartment on our estate and both of them have become family to Ana and I years ago.

When it comes to our health, Ana and I have been blessed. Neither of us has to take any medication and we both exercise each day to stay fit and in shape. With us now being grandparents I like to joke that after being the hottest MILF ever Ana now has become the hottest Grandma I'd like to fuck… and I do… often.

Apart the times we had to stay away from sex after Ana gave birth to our children, we still have kept our love life going and I hope to keep it up for many more years to come…

Arriving at our home, I smile, just like our family our home too has expanded over the years. We have bought both neighboring plots over the years, which are now home to Liam and his family on our left and Chrissie's family on our right. Ariella, lives at Escala now, because the open space and floor to ceiling windows are great for her art, but Shane has been bugging her for some time now to find a house and she has finally given in, so they are looking for a home in our area.

Ted has bought my childhood home, when my mother decided it was time to put it on the market. He has remodeled it and made some modernization to it, but he has kept my Dad's study untouched and still uses it as his own now.

Vince slows down as he pulls up into the driveway, because our dogs are playing outside. Christ, over the years we had so many animals, we could have opened our very own pet zoo. Dogs, cats, bunnies, guinea pigs, birds… you name it and one of my kids had it. Now, Ana and I have two dogs as well as a freaking parrot, which Ana fell in love with a couple of years ago. I swear that bird is evil and always looking for an opportunity to attack me or cuss at me, but Ana says I'm crazy and that the fucking bird is a little angel…

Entering through the front door, I hear Ana's soft voice come from the living room, following her voice I find her on the sofa cuddled up under a blanket with our oldest granddaughter Maddie who just turned twelve.

"Hey pumpkin, did you cry?" I ask when I see the tear streaks on her face. But she doesn't even want to look at me.

"I'll be right back sweetheart, how about some cookies and ice cream?" Ana asks her and she nods. I follow Ana into the kitchen and hand her a bowl for the ice cream.

"Why has she been crying?" I ask.

"Her school called me to pick her up. Apparently, she started her period and wasn't aware until someone pointed it out to her rather rudely, which made her hide under the bleachers." Ana explains.

"She is twelve!" I get out, Christ; she is just a kid, why does shit like that have to happen this early.

"Christian was twelve too." Ana points out and I momentarily drift back to that day.

Flashback

Since all the kids are in school and kindergarten, I have decided to stay home today and spent some quality time with my wife. We have spent all morning in bed and I only got up to get us something to eat.

I have just filled a tablet with food for us when I hear the front door slam shut. I hurry to the entrance hall and find my twelve-year-old daughter slamming her backpack to the ground.

"Hey, what is wrong, Chrissie? Shouldn't you be in school?" I ask and she stares at me wide eyed.

"Where is Mom?"

"Chrissie, I have asked you a question, why aren't you in school?" I ask sternly, because lately my little angel has been showing some rather unpleasant attitude.

"I was sent home, where is Mom?"

"Why have you been sent home?" I ask, ignoring her question.

"Where. Is. My. Mother?" Chrissie snaps instead storms passed me into the downstairs bathroom and slams the door shut.

"Christian Grace, open the door now! Do not make me repeat myself, young lady!" I call out.

"Go away Dad, I want Mom."

"Well tough, I'm here now and I want to know why you have been sent home from school in the middle of the day."

"Get Mom!" She screams and I had enough.

"Chrissie, I will knock the freaking door down if you don't talk to me right now." I yell back and she opens the door to stare up at me with tears streaming down her face.

"I've started my period and I'm having cramps, can you get Mom now, because I need something to stop it from running down my legs." She sobs and I look at her shocked into silence. Fuck, I have no idea how to handle this, so I do the only thing I can. I storm towards the staircase and scream. "Ana!"

I laugh remembering that day and Ana gives me an odd look. "Sorry, I was just remembering the day Chrissie started her period." I confess and Ana smirks.

"I believe you've been way more traumatized by it than she was." Ana giggles.

"Yeah, but I'll take that experience over Ariella's first period drama every day." I mutter. Ariella started her period at ten fucking years old. Of course, Ana hadn't really talked to her about it at the time, so we woke up one morning to her screaming at the top of her lungs and stormed into her bedroom to find her in the middle of her room staring at the bloodstains on her legs and sheets.

I left the room for Ana to deal with it, knowing that this was a mother daughter moment and not a father daughter moment. Instead, I went straight into my study and had a drink. With the boys it was way easier. When they started puberty, I took them to a camping trip and used that time to have a conversation about sex and everything else that comes with growing up with them. When they were old enough to have sex, I just provided them with condoms and made sure to explain repeatedly how important it was for them to use them. My girls however… I never talked with them about anything sex related, period shit or anything like that. The only thing I insisted on was that Ana gave them the talk about everything they needed to know and they knew that even with taking a pill, they still had to insist on their boyfriends using a condom.

Not that I wanted them to have sex, but I wasn't stupid enough to believe they would stay virgins forever or that I would be able to scare their boyfriends and dates off forever.

"Have you called Chrissie?" I ask.

"Yes, she will be here to pick her up right after she finished work."

"I can't believe they are growing up so fast, remember the first night we had Maddie stay over at our place? Seems like it was yesterday." I muse and Ana smiles.

"I know… so how do you feel after visiting Ros's grave?" She asks and I smile, I didn't tell her where I was going, but of course, my wife always knows what I am up to.

"It was good… I met her son, nice young man… Ros left me a letter and… well, I feel like I finally understand her completely and hope she is at piece now."

"That's good… oh and Mason called, he wants to stop by this evening, do you think he finally found someone?" Ana asks hopeful and I roll my eyes, because I know that is not the case. Last week, I stopped by at his penthouse to talk to him and when I stepped out of the elevator three young women got into it, while my son stood in the vestibule wearing nothing but boxer briefs and a smug grin, though I am not going to tell her that.

"Ana, he will settle down eventually, but he just hasn't found the right girl yet."

"I know, but I'm just worried that he enjoys his bachelor life too much to ever settle down."

"Baby, he is young, just give him some more time, he is not ready or maybe he hasn't met the right girl for him yet… don't worry about him, he is happy and that is all that matters." I try to convince her, but I know she won't be happy until he has found someone. I understand, because finding Ana was the best thing that has ever happened to me and I love that our other kids have found the right partner for them, but Mason just hasn't found that person yet, so let him have fun…

"I need to go back to Maddie; the others will be here shortly." She says gets some ice cream and cookies and leaves the kitchen.

Every school day we take Chrissie's and Liam's kids after school, until they or their spouses are home from work. I love it, having all of the kids run around the house reminds of when my own kids were young and I can honestly say, there has never been a quiet day with five active kids.

"Daydreaming?" I hear my mom's soft voice and turn around. Yes, she looks old these days, but she still dresses nicely, does her hair every morning and puts some make up on, just like every day for as long as I can remember.

"A bit, are you okay?"

"Oh, I wish you kids would stop asking me the same question every day. I'm not ready to go just yet, when it's time Carrick will let me know." She says with a smile and slowly sits down at the kitchen table.

"Do you believe that is what happens, Mom?" I ask, with Ana and I getting older, I want to believe that we will still have all of eternity, yet since there is no one who truly knows it gives me comfort to know that my mother believes my dad is waiting for her.

"Yes, I know I'm going to see your father again. When your grandpa died, your grandmother always told me that she would see him again. It was as if she knew. When her time came, I was with her. She had been unconscious for nearly a week, but suddenly a smile came to her face and she whispered something, she said 'I knew you would come, Theo.' and then she passed away and I knew. I knew it was true." My mother says with a smile and it makes me smile too.

Two hours later Ana and I are sitting on a blanket in the meadow with our grandchildren running around us squealing and laughing.

"I dreamed of this." Ana says with a smile as she leans in to kiss me.

"You did?"

"Yes, it was just week after, Chrissie was born and we moved in here. I saw us just like this. And even though at the time I had to think it would never come true, I did." She muses and I take her hand.

"I'll always find my way back to you, baby. I love you."

"And I love you." She whispers against my lips and we kiss again, only to stop and laugh when our granddaughters start to sing ' Grandma and Grandpa sitting on a tree'.

"Let's get them." Ana grins, so we get up chase them and when we catch them, we pepper their faces with kisses until we are all on the ground laughing and giggling.

This is the perfect moment… one of many perfects moments in my life and there are still so many more to come…

Thank you all so much for sticking with this story, even though it has been a bumpy ride from time to time... you guys are so great!

See you in one of my other stories...

Sunny