AN: While reading this (especially the parts in bold, you'll see when you get to them), listen to I'll Make a Man Out of You from the movie Mulan.

"Hey, you, Seeker!"

Bored out of his processor, Skywarp turns around, only to do a double take when he sees Motormaster stomping to him, looking far too focused for the Flier's own good.

"Whatever it was I didn't do it!" he hurries to reassure, lifting his servos in front of his faceplate and preparing himself to teleport to the safety of his room if the Grounder threatens to punch him.

"Stop that," the larger mech snaps, more annoyed than murderous, and, curious, the purple and black one obeys, lowering his arms.

And then, the Stunticon looks up and down the corridor to make sure they're alone before leaning closer to the startled Flier.

"You're one of Lord Megatron's most loyal and trustworthy, aren't you?" the Grounder whispers, sounding both suspicious and hopeful, and, for almost a full klik, Skywarp can just gawk.

Until, of course, the words finally are deciphered, upon which he adopts an expression of rage and indignation worthy of his Trine leader, stepping closer to the larger mech with a menacing snarl that makes Motormaster straighten with a jerk.

"You dare doubt my loyalties and my competence, you inferior Grounder?!" he shrieks, and some tiny part of his processor remarks that he sounded a lot like Screamer.

"No, no! I was asking counsel!"

And, for the second time in barely five kliks, Skywarp is stunned into silence.

The Stunticon uses the chance to put himself together, lowering the arms he had lifted to shield himself from a possible attack and trying to wipe the nervousness from his faceplate.

"Counsel," the Seeker repeats, processor slowly renewing its activity, "from me?"

"Lord Megatron trusts you and tasks you with important jobs, but us—me and my team—we're just good for merging into Menasor, and even then he doesn't trust us. I've tried to straighten the others, to make them better so that we can be better in Lord Megatron's optics and get a chance to truly help, but it's no use! How did you do it?" Motormaster rants, sounding like the newspark the other Decepticons sometimes forget he is, and ending the tiny speech with pleading optics glued to the stunned Flier.

Slowly, Skywarp smirks.

"I know of a training method that is just what you need."

When Motormaster asks for a week off to train his team, the whole bridge falls silent.

The argument between Starscream and Megatron is immediately forgotten, and even Soundwave turns away from the computer to stare at the Stunticon.

After a moment, however, the Decepticon leader agrees.

As soon as the Cargo is out of the room, he whirls on his Communications Officer and orders the Gestalt monitored at all times.

Before Soundwave can agree with his customary 'as you command', Skywarp volunteers himself for the surveillance, and all noise in the command center stops yet again.

He makes sure not to look too innocent or mischievous, but it still takes him insulting himself by stating just how bad his stalking skills are and how much the practice is needed, for Megatron to agree.

Though Laserbeak is coming either way, to record and monitor them all.

A bit annoyed, but more than willing to have a copy of the next week, the purple and black Seeker agrees and takes off.

Once Astrotrain leaves to return to the Victory, the Stunticons arrange themselves in a line in front of their leader, who is looking really serious and making them clearly uncomfortable.

After a bit of convincing—translated as grabbing the Cassette without previous warning—Skywarp teleports to a nearby cliff to have a closer view of the events.

The valley is filled with spindly trees, an open prairie and a lake peppered with rocks, all of it isolated by large mountains.

Perfect for their week long special training.

Laserbeak just needs a look up at the Seeker's grin to stay silent and start recording the Gestalt.

"I asked for this week for us to undergo special training, tailored to turn even the most worthless scum—" explains Motormaster, who has started pacing, as he glares at his teammates, "—into the most competent warriors. And I will not accept failure."

"Ugh. Come on, Boss, training? I don't need training, I'm the best!" Drag Strip protests, and finds an enraged white faceplate almost against his as his leader whirls on him, making him jump away with a yelp.

"No. Protesting!"

"Why lose time with this? We're all going to get deactivated anyway," Dead End grumbles, staring moodily at the grass under his pedes and ignoring Motormaster's glare.

"You mean there are Autobots here? Are we surrounded?!" Breakdown screeches, grabbing onto Wildrider as he frantically stares around, his brother trying to shake him off with a scowl.

"Enough!" the largest mech roars, and they all get back in position with startled jerks and yelps.

To their utter confusion, though, Motormaster doesn't start punching or shouting, but, instead, turns to the nearby trees and starts plucking them as if they're mere blades of grass, snapping off the roots and the biggest branches.

Skywarp's grin widens, expectation almost making him fidget where he's lying on his cockpit at the border of the cliff, and Laserbeak strains his neck as if that would allow him to better see whatever is going to happen despite already having a clear view.

Before any of the Stunticons has a chance to ask, their leader turns around and throws them the trees-turned-staffs.

And the four mechs yelp and cover their helms with their arms, letting the sticks slam into them and fall to the ground.

"We've got a long way the go," Motormaster groans, one tree still in his servos, as his teammates slowly look at him as if he's gone mad.

When they see he's still holding one of the staffs, they slowly bend down to retrieve one each, exchanging confused looks as to what could be so important about some branch- and root-less trees.

"Let's get down to business. To defeat the Bots," Motormaster sings doing some flourishes and hits with his stick, and the rest of Stunticons and Laserbeak's lower jaw almost literally fall to the ground in bewilderment.

Skywarp barely manages to cover his mouth with his servos to muffle his laughter, optics glinting with glee.

When the rest of his Gestalt just stand there, flabbergasted, their leader growls and pushes his staff forward while still clenched in his fists, as if in an offering, and, clumsily, awkwardly, and hitting each other until they separate enough not to, the others mimic him.

"Did they send me humans, when I asked for Cons?" the black mech snarls, and the rest quickly straighten into slightly more dignified and somehow ready positions, but still looking completely gobsmacked and awkward.

Motormaster puts his stick down, resuming pacing in front of his teammates once more, but the smaller mechs don't move a micron under his heated glare.

"You're the saddest bunch I ever met. But you can bet, before we're through…" he trails off before, so suddenly that the other Stunticons jerk back in surprise, he whirls around to fully face them. "Newspark, I'll make a mech out of you."

"Newspark? But you were created at the same time as—" Wildrider protests indignantly, but is cut by a sweep from his leader's staff at his legs that sends him on his back with a breathless grunt.

"If you've got to say anything this week, you'll do it singing!"

"But—"

"No buts! Let's start!"

And shooting practice begins, with some bull's-eye carved on a mostly flat rock face of the valley with an Energon knife.

'Pathetic' is an understatement.

But, even though Motormaster is as bad as the rest of them, he's still acting the part of strict instructor, much to Skywarp's and Laserbeak's amusement, because he's still singing.

"Tranquil as a mountain, but on fire within."

And they move to throwing stones to each other for the 'attacked' to bat away with their stick as evasion and deflection practice… only, the Stunticons are too busy looking for pebbles to start the practice, to their leader's growing anger.

"Once you find your weapon, you are sure to win."

And the singing continues as they try to catch fish with their bare servos, some kind of bizarre reflexes and speed training.

"You're a strut-less, weak, pathetic lot, and you haven't got a clue. Somehow I'll make a mech out of you."

The days that follow are repetitions of the first, plus rock-breaking with their bare fists—and Motormaster makes sure to find some sturdy enough to have his teammates yelp in pain as they strike them—, the common sparring, and hopping from rock to rock in the lake—complete with shrieks and large splashes as the mechs slip and end in the cold water coming from the melting snow on the mountaintops.

The best, however, is how well the Stunticons adjust… to the singing part.

"I'm never gonna stop my fans," Dead End moans, still running around the valley in an endurance exercise.

"Say goodbye to those who knew me," Wildrider whimpers as it's his turn to be peppered with stones.

"Mech, was I a fool for refusing to train," Drag Strip groans as he gets out of the lake, water and weeds dripping off of him.

Though it's not just the Stunticons who have apparently adapted to this new habit.

"This mech's got 'em scared to death," Skywarp whispers to Laserbeak when Dead End is punched out of the sparring ring and the others cringe as they realize it's another's turn.

"Hope he can just see right through me," Breakdown pleads, only to have his leader's optics land on him in a silent order to get ready to fight him next.

"Now I really wish that I knew how to drift!" Dead End shouts as the alt mode chase goes on, just before the truck rams him when his efforts to turn sharply to escape fail.

The best part, however, is the nightly routine of running through Martial Art stances, mostly because of the chanting that comes with it, with the Stunticons, minus Motormaster, beginning and repeating the same motto while their leader recites the 'requirements' almost religiously.

"To be a mech."

"We must be swift as a flying Seeker."

"Be a mech."

"With all the force of Megatron's gun."

"To be a mech."

"With all the strength of a wild Combiner, mysterious as what Shockwave does for fun!"

The first time they hear it, Skywarp has to teleport Laserbeak and himself almost a hundred miles away so that their raucous laughter goes unheard.

But the days go by, and the routine doesn't change, until, the fifth day, Motormaster snaps, once more pacing in front of his somewhat at attention teammates.

"Time is racing toward us, till we lift the veil. Heed my every order, and you might prevail," he snarls, before stopping and turning to face them fully. "You're created for the rage of war, so get up, there's more to do. I can still make a mech out of you."

And, to the observers' astonishment, something changes.

The Stunticons straighten, turn serious and determined, gazes blazing, and, when they resume their training, they actually improve exponentially.

And when they chant, all voices speak in unison, strong and firm and reverberating through the valley.

"To be a mech, we must be swift as a flying Seeker! Be a mech, with all the force of Megatron's gun! To be a mech, with all the strength of a wild Combiner, mysterious as what Shockwave does for fun!"

And, the last night, they ace their exercises, all the while keeping with their singing without need to shout to be heard over their spinning fans.

"To be a mech, we must be swift as a flying Seeker. Be a mech, with all the force of Megatron's gun! To be a mech, with all the strength of a wild Combiner, mysterious as what Shockwave does for fun!"

Skywarp is strangely silent when he gets to the bridge, and Laserbeak looks, for lack of a better word, shocked.

Before the gunmetal gray mech can ask, though, Motormaster enters the room, standing tall and strong, with the other Stunticons filing in after him… before they stop and, like a well-oiled machine, turn in unison to stand at attention in front of Megatron.

"Sir, I proudly report that our training was successful."

And, meeting Breakdown's optics when before the mech would be nervously staring at the floor, and seeing the determination and fire in Dead End's gaze, and hearing not a boast or idiotic comment from Drag Strip and Wildrider, the Decepticon leader can only nod in agreement, impressed despite himself.

When the Stunticons, still in that new orderly fashion, leave the bridge after they're dismissed, all optics turn to an almost catatonic Skywarp.

"What happened out there?" Megatron asks, gesturing to the door the Gestalt has just left through.

"I've created a monster," the Seeker whimpers, and a poke from his Trineleader is all he needs to keep talking, as well as start shivering. "I-I swear it was a joke, he asked me how to get his team good enough to deserve Lord Megatron's trust and be given important assignments, and I was bored and thought it would be funny so I told him about that training method but I never thought it would work!"

Silence.

"What, exactly, did that training entail?" Megatron asks with a growing dark smirk, and all the mechs in the room shudder in horror.

UPDATED 11/03/2018: Corrected Grammar.

AN: I did it! I wrote a one shot! I can write one shots *wipes a tear of joy* I'm so happy.

Inspired, of course, by the song I'll Make a Man out of You from the movie Mulan, but also by one of those 100 themes prompt (that I can't seem to find now) and a randomizer that gave me the combination Motormaster: Be a Man.

Have fun!

Update: This fic will now be a multi-chapter, because, obviously, I can't write one shots. Slag me.