Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from the Kim Possible series are all owned by Disney. Any and all registered trade names property of their respective owners.

Kim Asks Shego

"... by the power given me by the State I pronounce you married."

"Thanks, Leafy," Shego told the judge and gave Kim a quick kiss.

"That's Judge Forest when I'm acting in an official capacity," the judge reminded Shego. "And this is official."

"Sorry, your Honor," the green woman apologized. "Coming to the reception?"

"Wouldn't miss it. Kind of surprised you didn't have me perform the ceremony there."

"Nah, first one was the big to-do. Can we leave?"

"You can. Kim's mom and dad still need to sign the license as witnesses. Then we'll head over. The law wants every 't' crossed and every 'i' dotted."

"Go ahead," Anne told Kim and Shego. "We'll stop for the extra case of champagne on our way."

"Thanks mom," Kim replied and gave each parent a hug and kiss before leaving.

"Well, we're now legally married," Shego told Kim as they rode home.

"As contrasted with being illegally married?"

"We were married, the state just didn't recognize it. And now we tell the archbishop of Baltimore where to stick it."

"Shego!"

"Well we can. When same sex marriage was before the Supreme Court he claimed the State shouldn't define marriage. Apparently he flunked history."

"What are you talking about?"

"Beginning family law. In Western tradition the state historically defined marriage. No pagan temple, synagogue, or early church defined marriage, that was family custom and national law. The early church blessed marriages, but didn't marry people for almost a thousand years – the state defined marriage. Then, even later, they called marriage a sacrament and claimed they defined marriage – it was a medieval power grab by Popes. So the Pope redefined marriage."

"And our first wedding was a wedding, even though the state didn't recognize it?"

"Right. And it gets messier, with the Second Amendment separating church and state. There are religious weddings the state doesn't recognize, and state marriages that religious groups won't recognize. Divorce too."

"Zita?"

"Actually I'm thinking of ultra-Orthodox Jews. Some schmucks get a state divorce, and remarry, but won't give the ex-wife a religious divorce, so if she's religious she can't remarry – she's not considered divorced."

"Shego?"

"Yeah?"

"If the Methodists start recognizing same-sex marriage I want a third wedding."

"Third marriages never work out."

"We're already married, it would just be a third wedding. At my church."

"We'll wait for your denomination to okay it."

"You love me don't you?"

"Of course I do, Pumpkin."

"Then third wedding. Someday. Maybe... Hey, when you remember your past you ask why I love you. Why do you love me? You were a sophisticated woman of the world and I was a high school senior... Please don't tell me you have a thing for younger women."

"Sophisticated woman of the world? I was a crook."

"Older and wiser... I'll bet you knew what wine went with escargot."

"No wine with escargot."

"See, you knew that."

"A triple bourbon, on the rocks, and maybe I'll eat escargot. It's snails, Kim."

"I know that. And they're good, with melted butter, garlic, and crusty French bread."

"Earth to Pumpkin, melted butter, garlic, and crusty French bread are good all by themselves, you don't need the snails."

"I see you as the older woman, of refined tastes, who enjoys the finer things in life–"

"Like hiding out in poorly ventilated lairs with henchmen who had bad personal hygiene."

"I'm trying my best to paint you as a dashing, romantic character here. Work with me."

"Fine, I was debonaire – whatever that means – and so suave I could stand in the rain and stay dry–"

"I don't think that's what suave means."

"Work with me. I'll pretend I was sophisticated... What was the question again?"

"Why an experienced woman of the world could fall in love with a naive and innocent high school senior."

"I'm pretty sure I didn't start falling for you until you graduated. I do have my standards. Naive and innocent? Really?"

"I was."

"So you blame your kinky behavior on me?"

"I'm not kinky, just adventurous."

"Not kinky? Not even the trapeze?"

"That wasn't kinky. It was an experiment."

"It was a painful mistake."

"You don't know unless you try. Maybe we did it wrong."

"Did you ask anyone for instructions?"

"I didn't ask because what two consenting adults do in the privacy of their own bedroom–"

"Or the attic, basement, garage, and kitchen."

"– is their own business. And you're still avoiding the question."

Shego was silent for a moment. "I love you so much it hurts. I'm scared when you go into work, afraid you'll be injured. I can't say how I fell for you. I sure as hell wasn't expecting it. You were an enemy, but you weren't afraid of me. I scared the crap out of a lot of people. You can't hold a conversation with a person who would rather run and hide than sit and talk. So I set you up, just for a little truce. You'd let me blow off some steam and that'd be the end of it. Didn't work like I expected."

"Or too well."

"Could be. It kind of escalated from enemies under a flag of truce, to friends, and then you started messing up my job description and I realized I had to chose – my old life or you. You gave me a new life, Kim."

"I didn't do that much."

"Yes, you did. You gave me back my life. I don't know how I could live without you now."

-The End-