Eren X Levi

I'm done

I hate this feeling. I'm feeling so heart won't calm down, it feels like my heartbeat is out of control. Why? Why do I have this feeling? I should trust him not suspect him. Suspect him of what? Cheating? Losing interest in me? Please, let this feeling leave...

I knocked on his door, '' Levi... Can I come in? '' It was late at night and I felt lonely, the same as always.. I didn't get any answer so I went in. There was Lance Corporal Levi sitting in his chair, his face in folded hands. I walked closer. '' Levi, what's wrong? '' I couldn't stand seeing my lover in this. He looks drown in pain. I heard him mumble something. '' What did you say? '' I asked calm. I reached out to touch his shoulder. He tightly grabbed my wrist before I could touch him. '' The fuck are you doing, brat? '' I stared at him with shock. He spat the words out with so much hatred. '' W-what? '' I asked confused. The grip on my wrist tightened. '' L-levi, let go you're hurting me. '' He yanked me backwards. '' Leave. Now. '' I stabilized myself. '' Oi! What the fuck is wrong wi- '' '' FUCK OFF YOU PIECE OF SHIT! '' Now I remember how scary he can be. I was frozen. When Levi stood up I bolted out of the room.

I sat down in the mess hall. Things have been this way since a month. Levi and I started dating 2 months ago. I already knew I loved him and he said he liked me. The first month was okay, stealing kisses, forced cuddles by me. Not like a regular couple but it felt right for us. Pretty soon everyone knew about our relationship. I didn't really mind. But this month was different. Levi is ignoring me, avoiding me, shouting at me, glaring at me. He won't come near me and if I do, he won't let me even touch his hand. I miss him. I love him. I want him. I want Levi back. But apparently he doesn't want me. He probably grew tired of me. Yes I know he shouts and glared at everyone but this really hurts. I can see the despise and disappointment in his eyes. Maybe he's cheating on me. Which would be funny since this relationship is more like an 'one-sided doomed to fail crush'. It has already failed. Or he doesn't want something to do with a monster like me. A 15-year-old brat like me. An impulsive aggressive idiot like me or a suicidal bastard like me.

He doesn't want me. He doesn't like me. He never wanted me. He never liked me.

I'm just a piece of shit that should disappear.

I can't force Levi to stay with me. I'll let him go and disappear from his life.

Shit I'm crying. The flow of tears never ended that night.

'' Eren wake up. '' I cracked my eyes open. My body never felt heavier. My head hurts. My back hurts from leaning on a table the whole night. '' Why are you crying? '' Am I still crying? Even in my dreams... But this are happy tears. I dreamt of my first time with Levi. How he held me, treasured me, whispered sweet nothings in my ear and that he would never let me go. My heart hurts.

I didn't say anything, I just stood up and left Armin alone. Just as I wanted to leave Levi stepped in the mess hall. I turned into statue. My breath stopped, my heart stopped, my world stopped. He saw my face and his eyes widened a bit. He walked up to me, grabbing my waist. '' Eren, why are you crying? '' what? I looked into his slightly worried eyes and snapped. I flinched away, holding my waist protective. My eyes stood wide open with shock. Tears flowed out of my eyes and racked breaths left my mouth. I looked like a total wreck. '' D-don't touch me. '' I couldn't hide it anymore. It's too painful. Armin had left the room noticing we needed time alone.

'' Eren...? ''

I can't do this anymore.

'' Let's break up. ''

There was a minute of silence. '' I'll disappear, don't worry. You don't have to see me anymore except for training. '' I laughed sheepishly. '' I'll get my stuff from you room as soon as possible. You don't have to kiss me anymore, oh and I won't force any hugs on you anymore. Know that I still love you and probably always will but I can't take the pain in my heart anymore. If you didn't want me anymore, why didn't you just broke up with me? Why did you let it get this far? '' I didn't dare looking up from the ground. '' You won't even let me touch your hands, I'm just a piece of shit, right? '' I'm surprised the words came out so easily. Still Levi said nothing. '' Goodbye Levi. ''

I'm done.

I passed Levi and walked away. I could Levi hear mumble something. This time I heard it:

Don't go...

I'll probably make a chapter 2. lately i've been into the genre Angst. I like the feeling of my heart stopping, stomach dropping, throat tightening. Makes me feel alive and that i acually have feelings xd.

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