AN 11/26/18: WOW you guys! When I stopped updating this 3 years ago, I thought no one would really care and after a while no one would find it in the large haystack of Harry Potter fanfics, so no one would read it. And yet, I have gotten several reviews in the last couple of months, which made me look at the traffic graph. Lo and behold, it seems that everyday the story gets at least a dozen views, which may not seem like much, but since it's every day...You have spoken, and I have heard you. To those who left reviews, thank you. You have encouraged me to pick this story back up. I have also reread and edited the four chapters already published and I did change a few things, so you may want to just skim over the chapters.

Important note: This starts off in the middle of Chapter 26 of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix!

Disclaimer: I do not own the Harry Potter series.

…

Chapter 1: The Prank and the Offer

...

(The italicized is an excerpt from the chapter.)

And it seemed that Hermione was quite right. By the end of the day, though Harry had not seen so much as a corner of The Quibbler anywhere in the school, the whole place seemed to be quoting the interview to each other. Harry heard them whispering about it as they queued up outside classes, discussing it over lunch and in the back of lessons, while Hermione even reported that every occupant of the cubicles in the girls' toilets had been talking about it when she nipped in there before Ancient Runes.

"Then they spotted me, and obviously they know I know you, so they bombarded me with questions," Hermione told Harry, her eyes shining, "and Harry, I think they believe you, I really do. I think you've finally got them convinced."

Meanwhile, Professor Umbridge was stalking the school, stopping students at random and demanding that they turn out their books and pockets: Harry knew she was looking for copies of The Quibbler, but the students were several steps ahead of her. The pages carrying Harry's interview had been bewitched to resemble extracts from textbooks if anyone but themselves read it, or else wiped magically blank until they wanted to pursue it again. Soon it seemed that every single person in the school had read it.

The teachers were of course forbidden from mentioning the interview by Educational Decree Number Twenty-six, but they found ways to express their feelings about it all the same. Professor Sprout awarded Gryffindor twenty points when Harry passed her a watering can; a beaming Professor Flitwick pressed a box a squeaking sugar mice on him at the end of Charms, said, "Shh!" and hurried away; and Professor Trelawney broke into hysterical sobs during Divination and announced to the startled class, and a very disapproving Umbridge, that Harry was not going to suffer an early death after all, but would live to a ripe old age, become Minister for Magic and have twelve children.

Even Seamus admitted that he was wrong about what he'd said before. Though pleased by all of this, the best effect of the interview happened at dinner on Tuesday.

Fred and George, fed up with Umbridge sticking her nose where it didn't belong, decided to top off the high of the article with a prank. And not just any prank either.

"Well, Harry-" said Fred as he sat across from Harry, Ron, and Hermione at the house table that evening.

"-we got to thinking-" said George as he sat as well.

"-that if you could stick it to the ministry-"

"-so could we," they finished together.

Harry looked at them curiously. "What did you two do?" he asked warily.

The twins smirked evilly. "You'll see in a bit," said Fred.

The Great Hall filled with students and teachers as they began to eat. Halfway through the meal though, there was a disturbance at the head table. Professor Umbridge was engulfed in thick, burgundy colored smoke. When the air cleared, Umbridge was gone, but the teachers on either side of her were looking wide-eyed at her seat.

Fred and George ducked their heads, trying to hide their large grins.

The silence in the Great Hall was broken by a loud, "Croak!" and suddenly a large, and very warty, toad hopped onto the table where it looked around frantically and let out another, "Croak!"

The Gryffindors immediately burst out laughing, as did the Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws. Glancing over at the Slytherin table, Harry could see even a few of those students fighting back smiles and disguising laughs as coughs.

Professor Dumbledore stood up. "Silence," he called. "Now, it seems someone decided to pull a prank on our dear professor." Dumbledore's eyes twinkled in Fred and George's direction.

"Professor McGonagall," Dumbledore said as he turned to her. "If you please."

McGonagall pulled out her wand and waved it once at Toad Umbridge. Nothing happened and a frown appeared on McGonagall's face. She waved her wand a few more times before turning to the Headmaster.

"I cannot transfigure her back," McGonagall proclaimed.

Dumbledore raised one eyebrow and the toad let out an indignant, "Croak!"

Harry glanced at the twins and saw they were trying to contain their quiet cackling.

Dumbledore then said something quietly to McGonagall. She used her wand to levitate the toad and both of the professors made their way out of the Great Hall with Toad Umbridge floating in front of them.

Chatter quickly filled the Great Hall, punctuated with quite a bit of laughter over what just happened to Umbridge.

Harry turned to the twins. "Brilliant," he complimented.

Ron nodded his head enthusiastically.

Hermione had a frown on her face. "Why couldn't Professor McGonagall transfigure her back?" she asked.

Fred and George smirked at each other.

"That's the best part," said George.

Fred explained, "We got the idea from this muggle story Alicia was talking about."

"The Frog Prince," nodded George.

Harry burst out laughing as Hermione's jaw dropped. "You didn't," she whispered in awe.

Ron just looked confused. "What?" he asked.

Hermione turned to him. "The story of The Frog Prince is a muggle fairytale," she explained. "A prince gets turned into a frog by an evil fairy and can only be turned back if a princess kisses him."

Ron looked at her, comprehension dawning. "But, if Umbridge is…then she'll be stuck like that forever!" he exclaimed gleefully.

"Nah," interrupted the twins.

"Unfortunately it won't last that long," said Fred.

"And we modified it from the story," added George. "It doesn't have to be a prince or princess. Someone just has to be willing to kiss her."

"But who would kiss that even when she was human?" asked Fred in disgust.

"Still," said George. "Making that loophole allowed us to extend the effects of the potion we slipped her."

Harry asked, "So when will it wear off?"

The twins shrugged and together said, "A month?"

"Maybe two," said Fred.

"We're really not sure," said George.

Harry just shook his head. A month without Umbridge…He owed the twins big time.

The only hitch that night was a vision Harry received from Voldemort. Rookwood gave Voldemort information on how to get the weapon he wanted.

…

The next morning near the end of breakfast, Professor Dumbledore stood up at the staff table.

"May I have everyone's attention please?" He waited for everyone to stop talking and look up at him. "As you are all aware, last night Professor Umbridge was turned into a toad at supper. All efforts to return her to normal have failed, and Madame Pomfrey has reported that the potion that caused this change will not wear off for several weeks. That is why for the time being, all Defense Against the Dark Arts classes have been canceled until we can find a suitable replacement. Thank you."

Dumbledore sat back down and immediately started a conversation with Professor McGonagall.

Hermione looked at her breakfast thoughtfully. "I wonder who they're going to replace Umbridge with."

"No one can be worse than her," stated Harry as he finished his eggs.

Ron talked through a mouth full of sausage. "At least we have a free period today."

They finished eating and were about to leave the table when a timid cough behind the trio made them turn to see a small Gryffindor girl looking at Harry with wide eyes.

"Professor Dumbledore asked me to give this to you," she said, holding out a small roll of parchment.

Harry smiled his thanks and turned around to read the note.

Harry,

I have a matter I would like to discuss with you. Please come to my office as soon as you finish breakfast.

Albus Dumbledore

P.S. I enjoy caramel toffee.

Harry shook his head after he finished reading the note. He wasn't as curious about what Dumbledore wanted to talk about as he was that Dumbledore was willing to talk to him at all. All year the Headmaster had avoided Harry. What changed?

"What do you think he needs to talk to you about?" asked Hermione who had read the note over his shoulder.

"Dunno," replied Harry.

Ron's nose scrunched up in confusion. "What does he mean by 'I enjoy caramel toffee'?"

"It's probably the password to get up to his office." Harry stood up from the bench. "Well, I better go see what he wants. I'll see you in Divination," he said to Ron.

Harry quickly made his way up to the stone gargoyle that guarded the Headmaster's office and gave the password. He knocked on the door and heard, "Enter!"

Harry took two steps in the door before he paused in shock. Not only was Professor Dumbledore there, but so were Professors McGonagall, Sprout, Flitwick, and Snape, all standing on either side of Dumbledore's desk.

Dumbledore flicked his wand and the door closed. "Have a seat, Harry," Dumbledore said while looking at his desk. Harry shoved down a bubble of annoyance and sat in one of the chairs in front of the desk. He glanced at Professor McGonagall, his curiosity returning.

Dumbledore cleared his throat and looked just above Harry's eyes. "Mr. Potter, as I announced at breakfast, we are in need of someone to teach Defense Against the Dark Arts, as we do not want students to miss such an important class for so long. The Heads of House and I have discussed it thoroughly and decided that all of the qualified professors would be too busy to substitute the class on a full time basis, and advertising the position would turn up no results. Therefore, we have looked to the student body for a replacement. Most of us feel that you are the only one capable of taking on the role."

Harry blinked, confused. "Hold up," he said. "You-you want me to teach Defense Against the Dark Arts?"

"Yes," Dumbledore said simply as he smiled and turned to look at Fawkes who was sitting on his perch.

Harry leaned back in his chair, shocked. "But I'm just a fifth year."

Professor McGonagall leaned towards him. "While the circumstances are unusual, we believe the students can learn the most from you." McGonagall gave him one of her rare smiles. "Do not think we are blind, Mr. Potter."

Harry's eyes went wide. Is she saying they know about the DA? He looked nervously around at the other teachers. Professor Sprout smiled widely at him and Professor Flitwick gave a secretive wink. Snape just sneered as usual.

Harry relaxed and thought about it. It was true that with the DA, Harry had come to earn the respect of many of his peers and gotten a bit of experience teaching. But teaching the DA and teaching actual classes were two very different things.

"Professors," Harry said tentatively, "say I did agree to this. Wouldn't it be odd for the sixth and seventh years to learn from someone younger than them? And would I have to assign homework? And how would I be able to teach and attend my other classes?"

Again, McGonagall was the one who answered. "I have seen how most of the student body looks at you, Mr. Potter. Even the students who don't like you have a healthy respect for you and your abilities. I do not think you will have a large problem asserting your authority. In the classroom, you will be Professor Potter. You will be able to add and deduct house points and give detentions. You will assign homework, which you will have to grade. You will have to be fair to each student no matter your personal feelings towards them."

"And that," interrupted Snape, "is why I am against this. Potter is an arrogant child and will no doubt take every opportunity to take points from Slytherins and assign them detentions," he said sneering at Harry.

Harry narrowed his eyes slightly, glaring at Snape. "While some people would be eager to favor their house and treat the others like 'dunderheads', going so far as to ignore bullying and purposefully mark down poor grades," said Harry evenly, "I would not stoop so low as to persecute innocent children simply for who their parents are or what house they are in. I only care that they are actually learning the subject, and the problems I have with certain people are solely based on the fact that they pick on other students."

Snape's eyes flashed. "Are you insinuating-"

"I am not insinuating anything, Professor," said Harry.

Harry was too busy meeting Snape's glare to notice the triumphant smirks exchanged between the other three heads of house.

Professor McGonagall cleared her throat and Harry turned his attention back to her. "As to the question of how you will attend class, you will be given a time turner. I have taken the liberty of coming up with your new schedule and decided the best places for you to use the device. You will also have your own office in which you can grade homework and complete your own assignments."

Harry nodded absently.

"Would I still have to take Occlumency lessons? To be quite honest, Professors, I don't think it's helping much. Actually, the headaches and dreams always seem worse afterwards," Harry said, looking at McGonagall.

Snape sneered. "You're not applying yourself, Potter. It is no fault of mine."

McGonagall's lips thinned as her eyes flashed, but she smiled weakly at Harry to show she wasn't angry at him.

Dumbledore sighed. "Harry, it is essential that you learn to close your mind to Voldemort."

Harry felt his brow twitch in frustration.

"But," interrupted McGonagall, "perhaps the lessons can be cut back a bit if Harry agrees to teach. He will be very busy as both a student and professor," McGonagall said a bit proudly. "Perhaps it would be better to let Harry study Occlumency on his own for a time and see how he does. I never did like the arrangement," she said as she glared at Dumbledore and Snape. "Occlumency is a difficult art to master, and it requires a great deal of trust and preparation."

McGonagall turned back to Harry. "While I am not an Occlumens myself, I have read up on the subject. Tell me, what books have you read on the matter? Perhaps I can suggest a few that would be helpful."

Harry's jaw dropped. "Er…books?" Harry asked.

McGonagall looked over at Snape. "You did have him read up on the theory before you started the lessons didn't you?"

Snape curled his lip. "I would have thought the extremity of the situation would have made Potter research the subject without my telling him to do so. It is not my fault he is an arrogant fool who thinks he can accomplish anything without putting in the work."

McGonagall's nostrils flared.

Professors Sprout and Flitwick had been watching the exchange until now. The diminutive Charms professor spoke up angrily. "Now really, Severus, Mr. Potter would not have had any idea where to start. We are teachers for a reason. We are meant to guide students and make sure they are prepared before practical application. Otherwise they are doomed to fail."

"It was an oversight on Professor Snape's part," said Dumbledore, frowning at the potions master. "What's already done though cannot be changed. I agree with Minerva's suggestion. Mr. Potter, why don't you use the time you would have otherwise spent with Professor Snape to read through several Occlumency books."

"I can provide you a list tomorrow after I confer with Madam Pince," McGonagall said.

Harry nodded, feeling like something was finally going right. He kept his attention focused on his Head of House, grateful to her for sticking up for him.

"Back to the matter at hand, do you have any other questions about becoming a professor?" asked McGonagall.

Harry answered slowly, "Nothing comes to mind." Of course, that could have been because he was so overwhelmed by all that had just been said.

"Do you accept the position then?"

Harry hesitated. "I...would like to think it over. If that's alright?"

"Certainly, Mr. Potter," replied Professor McGonagall. "When you decide, just come to me and we can start to make the arrangements. However, I would like to have your answer no later than Friday so that the weekend can be spent with either you making a curriculum or us finding a different teacher."

Harry nodded his agreement.

Dumbledore addressed Harry now, though instead of looking at him, he was stroking Fawkes lightly. "I believe you have Divination first period, Harry? The class will start soon and I would hate for you to be late. Please think over our offer today and feel free to talk it over with your friends."

Taking that as his dismissal, Harry stood and thanked the Professors before he made his way out of the office and up to the Divination tower.

…

Since Defense was canceled, Ron and Harry met with Hermione in the Common room immediately after Divination. By the time he finished explaining what had happened, Hermione and Ron were caught between beaming at him and yelling profanities at Snape.

"I can't believe he sabotaged you like that," Ron said indignantly. "You'd think he wanted you to fail." Ron's eyes widened. "Maybe he does," he said quietly.

"Oh, Ron, stop," Hermione scolded. "We've suspected Professor Snape before and been wrong. He's on our side. He just didn't think to assign Harry any reading because of the urgency."

Ron sulked as Hermione turned thoughtful. "I should look up some of those books Professor McGonagall mentioned. It'd be amazing if I could learn, too."

Harry had to smile at the eager look Hermione had at the thought of learning a new subject and reading more books.

"But enough about Occlumency," Hermione said brightly. "You get to teach Defense! You're going to do it right?" she demanded.

Harry shrugged and looked away. "I don't know. I mean it's a lot of work, and I'm not too keen on using a time turner after what I saw you go through third year. Not to mention there's no way the Slytherins will listen to anything I say."

"But that's why you get to give detentions and take points!" exclaimed Ron, looking excited once again. "If they don't listen then punish them like any other teacher."

Hermione nodded. "While I don't think you should abuse your position, Ron's right. If students misbehave, you'd be an authority figure and allowed to discipline them."

Ron grinned. "You should give Malfoy detention with Filch!"

Harry grinned back briefly. "But what about the time turner?"

Hermione huffed and sat back. "Harry, when I used the time turner, I went about it in completely the wrong way. I used it only to attend class, but not to do homework or even sleep and eat. I was living thirty hours days and not even managing to keep up the maintenance a body requires for twenty-four hours since I had all that extra work to squeeze in. Now that I know this, you won't have the same problems I did. You can go back a couple hours to take naps and complete homework while you're also grading Defense papers. And I'm sure if you asked Dobby, he would be glad to bring you extra meals during the day so you get enough food."

"What's this?" asked Ron. "Hermione, suggesting to use a house elf?"

"I'm not suggesting to use him," said Hermione angrily. "But Dobby is a free elf. He gets paid at least. Besides, Harry would need the help and we all know Dobby would do anything for him."

Harry tuned them out and thought about what Hermione said. If he used the time turner carefully, he would be able to keep up with all of the work and not suffer side-effects like she did.

"Do you really think I should do it?" Harry asked, interrupting their argument on house elves.

"Yes," Hermione said immediately, nodding firmly.

Ron agreed. "No one knows defense like you do. Besides, you'd be a way better teacher than Umbridge. It'd be just like the DA only with all the students."

"And consider, Harry," said Hermione, "if you don't do it, the ministry might try to send someone even worse in."

Harry hadn't thought of that. Actually, he hadn't even thought about the Ministry finding out. He had no doubt that they wouldn't approve of him teaching classes. He'd have to bring that up with Professor McGonagall. But what Hermione had said pretty much convinced him.

"Alright," said Harry. "I'll do it. By the way, Hermione, I almost forgot." Harry proceeded, with help from Ron, to tell them what he had seen last night in his vision. Being the brightest witch in the school, Hermione was able to puzzle it together with the information they had gleamed from the prophet to figure out that Voldemort had tried to imperius someone to bring him the weapon, but the plan had failed.

...

AN: So there's the first chapter! Please review and send any suggestions you have. I can't guarantee I'll use them, but you never know!