A Masked Secret

Chapter 19

With You

Shi left for work from Uta's apartment slightly disgruntled the next morning, having no clothes to change into so being forced to go to work in the previous days clothes. She was sure she would recieve shit from her boss for her clothes and lack of makeup, but hopefully Reiko would be there to lessen the blow.

Shi slipped into her cubicle with no issues meeting her from the door to her workspace. Shi, in the clear, slumped down on her desk and looked over her planner. Of course a familiar blonde slunk into the cubicle after about fifteen minutes.

"Oh Shiiiiii-shiiiiii-chaaaan." Reiko cooed as she rested her chin on Shi's shoulder, "I thiiiink I smell something lewd."

"I think you're smelling a mixture of blood, ink and my deodorant. They copulated to create this." demurred Shi. Reiko snickered and sat on Shi's desk.

"Not only those smells copulated, did they?" Reiko leaned in, her grin wide. Shi narrowed her eyes at the Ghoul.

"How did your date go? I see you're alive." Reiko slapped a hand over her mouth to prevent the howl of laughter from erupting out of her at Shi's nonchalant attempts to change the topic.

Reiko reduced her laughter to simple sniggers, "Not only did you and Uta-san copulate last night, Shi-shi-chan."

Shi blinked, "On the first date?"

"I'm a whore, I know. But he was just sooooo good looking, I had to." Reiko leaned in, and Shi put a hand over Reiko's mouth.

"Whatever you're going to ask, don't. I can see mischief in your eyes." Shi warned, ignoring the fact Reiko licked her hand. Reiko frowned when Shi didn't let go and nodded when Shi gave her an annoyed glare. Shi removed her hand, wiped it on her jeans, and turned to her desk.

"But Shi-shi-chan, tell me, how are things between you and Uta-san now?" Reiko inquired. Shi smiled as she slid into her chair and flipped open her sketchbook.

"Good, better than ever actually." Shi answered, a rosy pink hue dusting her cheeks as she thought to the previous night.

"I love you too."

Reiko smiled as she looked down at Shi. But, as always, things couldn't simply stay peaceful. Reiko made herself at home on Shi's desk, watching as her eraser diligently worked at a pencil sketch she wasn't happy with.

"Ne, Shi-shi-chan. Did you and Uta-san use protection?"

Shi choked.

Reiko blinked.

Then... "Damn. I'm gonna be an aunt then."

"No, you won't be." Shi shook her head, "Human-Ghoul pregnancies are rare. I also have a lesser chance of pregnancy than most women."

"But there's still that slim chance, Shi-shi-chan." Reiko reminded her. Shi blew at her bangs in frustration.

'Reiko is right, there's that chance. But I highly doubt it, I don't even know if i can have kids. I'm not natural, something between human and Ghoul.' Shi decided to change the topic to distract Reiko, "Who says you'd be an aunt anyway?"

Reiko grinned, "The kid would need an aunt." then Reiko paused, "Shit that was actually really mean and insensitive of me to say, wasn't it?" Reiko slid off the desk and bowed to Shi, "I'm very sorry, Shi-shi-chan, I didn't mean any disrespect."

"It's fine, I've come to terms with having no family." Shi replied, truly not caring about Reiko's comment. Reiko still hovered nervously for a few moments before trusting Shi's word. Reiko returned to her own cubicle but Shi found that Reiko had planted seeds in her mind.

'What if Uta and I's relationship gets that far?' Shi wondered, leaning back in her chair and biting at the end of her pencil, 'Does Uta want kids? Or marriage?'

Then, bitterly, Shi bit through her pencil with a snap, 'No... I couldn't put him through that.'

Meanwhile, Uta was regretting his decision to visit Anteiku with Itori. Firstly, Itori had grilled him for details on his and Shi's make up. She had gleefully deducted they had make up sex, which now that Uta thought about it wasn't entirely false, and then Touka had wandered over to get involved.

"How are you and Shi-san, Uta-san?" Touka inquired, as if she hadn't heard Itori grilling Uta on his sex life. Uta gave Touka a pleasant (fake) smile.

"Shi and I are doing well." answered Uta politely, sipping at his coffee.

Itori gave Touka a devious look with a single raised eyebrow, "They had a fight but they made up."

"Speaking of Shi-san, Uta-san she's human." Touka's statement earned a raised eyebrow from Uta.

"It's weird, isn't it?" Itori butted in, "Shi-san is just an ordinary human yet she caught U-chan's eye."

Uta was wondering if it was too late to leave. He leaned back and looked out the window, more interested in what was happening outside the cafe. Itori took note of his lack of interest but turned back to Touka.

"Love's a weird thing, isn't it, Touka-san?" Itori mentioned, eyes lighting when she saw Uta tense for the briefest moment.

"Love?" Touka parroted as if it were a foreign word to her, "Do you love Shi-san, Uta-san?" Uta didn't answer right away. He sipped at his coffee again, biding time by slowly finishing it off. He gently put it on the table, looking down into the empty cup.

"It's not any of your business, is it Touka-san?"

Touka blushed and apologized before leaving the table. Itori leaned her chin on her hand and she observed Uta with curiosity.

"You've changed." Itori took note, "But I have little doubt that if you had to, you'd be the monster you used to be."

"And what could cause that?" Uta prodded, looking out the window again but giving Itori his full attention.

Itori smiled, "A threat."

"Of?"

"The CCG are monitoring the fourth ward carefully due to Hell's Angel most frequently being seen there. They plan to take her out, along with all the Ghouls in that ward." Itori traced the rim of her coffee while looking through her lashes at Uta, "That would certainly be a problem for you."

Uta hadn't visibly reacted at the mention of Hell's Angel. But he had frowned slightly at the mention of the CCG being more aggressive than normal, "That hardly seems like a reason to take out all the Ghouls in the fourth ward."

"They're humans, U-chan. They're all fools. Even that little human you're playing with right now," Itori scoffed, "Love? No, that's a human you have there U-chan. Infatuation maybe, attraction. But not love. Humans are food, remember that U-chan." Then Itori stood and left with hardly a flutter of her long red hair.

"Uta-san?" Ten minutes later Touka approached Uta, who still sat at the table and hadn't stopped watching the pedestrians passing by the cafe. Uta turned his head to regard her with his usual pleasant expression, "It's none of my business, but, how did you fall in love with a human?"

Touka had made her own conclusion then, that Uta did love Shi. Not even denying the fact or trying to change the topic, Uta gestured out the window to a nondescript couple who were walking arm and arm down the street.

"What do you see, Touka-san?" Uta asked.

Touka squinted at the couple as if the question was a trick question, "A couple?"

"Yes," Uta gestured to them again when Touka gave him a funny look, "When you look at them from far away that's all they are. From here we don't know whether they're two humans, two Ghouls, or a Ghoul and a human. We don't even know if they really are a couple."

"What's the meaning of this, Uta-san?" Touka questioned. Uta gave her a pleasant look, no matter if it was fake or not.

"I initially had reservations about Shi. There was a line between us. But lines can be crossed, Touka-san." Uta stood and deposited money on the table, "Don't look with just your eyes, as looks can be deceiving." Uta put his hands in his pockets and started to walk away, ignoring Touka whose gaze lingered on his back. Uta had surprised himself with the encounter, but simply assumed Shi had left a change in him. After all, Shi seemed to be an interesting person.

Uta returned to his shop but took note of every human who seemed to be of the slightest suspicion. Uta had found three doves in his return to his shop which made him wonder if Shi and Reiko would be alright. The CCG was surely still aware of Reiko's existence and Shi would eventually be hunted down.

Despite the worries that crossed his mind Uta stayed inside his shop, beginning on a series of masks. By the time Shi's work day had ended, Uta wondered if she would return home or come back to his shop. The answer came in the form of his door opening and Shi rushing inside. She slammed the door shut, huffing as she unbuttoned her coat and tossed it onto her stool.

"There's an increase in the number of doves, I had two ask me if I needed an escort home as it's dangerous at night." Shi complained, pulling off her boots and wiggling her toes.

"You seem tense." Uta noticed as Shi tried to stretch out her back by all her muscles protested and held firm.

"I am, I need to be careful now with going out at night as Hell's Angel. Maybe I'll wait awhile before going back out again considering the ward is swarming with doves." Shi's whining slowly turned to moans as she slumped over on the work table. Uta gave her a slightly concerned look.

Her shoulders were as taut as a bow string and after a moment of her looking extremely uncomfortable she sat up and rubbed at her spine. She slid off the stool and muttered something about going to lay in bed and that if he wanted to join her she'd be out like a light soon. Uta followed a few minutes later after shutting off the lights in the shop and locking the door. He stood in the dark doorway with the only light spilling out of the bathroom. Shi was leaning against the sink with her hands beneath the running water. She rinsed her face and smacked at her cheeks to wake herself up.

"What're the doves planning?" Shi wondered.

Uta answered with the information he received from Itori, "To take out every Ghoul in the fourth ward."

Shi sputtered and looked at him with wide eyes. Her mind was whirling, "They'd need a lot of doves for that."

"They have alot of doves." retorted Uta, "They're going to keep sending more doves in until it's inhabitable for Ghouls. They want to flush out Hell's Angel and kill her."

Shi gripped the sink and breathed deeply through her nose. She ran a hand through her hair to calm herself before she turned and walked to Uta. She wrapped her arms around his midsection and rested her head on his chest.

"I've brought alot of trouble on the Ghouls of the fourth ward. Perhaps I should move to a different ward?" Shi's voice was muffled in Uta's shirt, "Maybe move them to a different ward?"

Uta thought on it. It was a difficult situation Shi was in now. The doves were moving directly against her. If she disappeared now they would continue to search for her as she was that much of a threat. A Ghoul who saved other Ghouls was worse than a Ghoul who just ate. A savior of other Ghouls allowed more Ghouls to run free and eat more humans and bring the deaths up more than if she was just any other Ghoul. She was actively, in the CCG's eyes, working against them and her work was effective. An all out attack on her would be the best solution for them.

"They'll search for you." Uta spoke up, his chest rumbling, "You're too much of a threat."

Uta turned off the light and led her to his bed. They laid side by side and Shi rested her head on his chest again. With half closed eyes, Shi looked up at Uta.

"Uta, what do you want for the future?"

Uta blinked at the odd question, "Future?"

"I mean our future. Today Reiko brought something up..." Shi sighed and closde her eyes, "Never mind, I'm being stupid and weird."

Uta thought on it. He of course wanted to stay with Shi. He had never thought of what the future entailed though. What did Shi want?

"What do you want for the future?" Uta parroted her question. Shi started to trace the tattoo on Uta's bare chest. He had shed his shirt at some point from the bathroom to his bed.

Shi was silent for a few moments. Uta started to run his hands through her bright white hair as she thought about the question.

"Well, long term future..." Shi trailed off, "Say, what about marriage and kids and that. What're your thoughts on that?"

Uta's chest paused in it's movement for a moment and she heard the slightest intake of breath that was so out of character for Uta yet very appropriate for the question.

"Do you want marriage? Kids?" Uta returned the question to her.

"Don't answer a question with a question." Shi was not having that shit.

Uta thought on it, "I've never thought of having a family."

"So that's a no?" Shi blinked when Uta brought his hand to her cheek and gently lifted her head.

"It's not a no." Uta told her, "But what do you want?"

Shi didn't look him in the eye, "I... my unusual circumstances mean I probably can't have kids. There's a possibility that Reiko reminded me of today when she asked personal questions, that without using protection there's a very slight possibility of me being pregnant. But as much as I'd like kids, I doubt it'd happen and to put them through being whatever I would produce as whatever I am..." There was also the fact Shi was part human and half Ghoul half human children were very rare.

"I'm happy how we are. Reiko just instilled the thoughts in me." Shi lifted her head to capture Uta's lips with her own and thus began their night.

But the thoughts of what Shi was possibly taking away from Uta swam in her mind after they had settled to sleep. Uta wanting a family, if he did as he had answered as vaguely as possible, that couldn't happen with her. Shi knew that at some point there would be some kind of tragedy to get between them. Whether it be her death, his death, or both of them dying or one of them being discovered, it didn't matter. And there was also the fact of what she was, that would always be in the way. No matter how accepting Uta was.

Shi wrapped her arms around Uta's arm that was snugly fit around her midsection. She was currently stealing Uta's body heat and the blanket was shared evenly between them but by morning she would definitely shave stolen it.

She sighed and whispered, more so to herself than to the sleeping Uta, "I'm sorry... but I can't live without you... nor can I live with you. Not with what I am."

Unknown to Shi Uta was awake. Uta's eyes blinked open as she settled to sleep after finding some peace with herself. With a light frown he kissed the top of her head gently as if she would shatter right there in his arms.

'I can live neither with you nor without you.' Uta thought, 'A fitting quote. Humans and Ghouls, Shi and I. Will things be resolved? Tragedies are so common lately... they're boring.'

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