Chapter Eleven

Riley's POV

School is starting again.

We're freshmen.

I've finally forgot how to count calories.

I've finally forgot that I'm not defined by a number.

I'm defined on what kind of person I am.

Auggie still has no idea what happened.

I bought scar removal. I can see the little it has done for my arms since buying it.

When I don't wear long sleeved shirts, Auggie asks me what happened.

I never tell him. I always find a way to run away before I have to.

I don't want him to know. I don't want him to know ever. I don't want him to know tha this sister is a lunatic that tried to rip herself apart.

Maya has gotten used to the scars.

At first, when I first didn't wear long sleeves, she would secretly stare at them.

Farkle stared at them too.

Lucas didn't. He kept with my eyes the whole time when we were together.

I really wanted to thank him verbally. But I settled with smiling at him like he gave me one million dollars.

Dad still doesn't get it. I don't expect him to either. But he wants to and that's the bad thing.

Mom told me I was brave for going to school with sleeves on my arms.

I thought I was crazy.

"Maya, I can't." I say.

We're standing in front of the school. The high school, the new school, my new school.

"Why can't you?" She asks smiling at me. She was clearly excited about high school.

"What people look at me weird? There will be other people. People from different middle schools that coming here for high school. What if they judge me?"

"They'll probably think you're fat."

I ignore her. I'll ignore her until the end of time.

"There are so many people in there that no one will notice you." Maya says.

"But what about that people that will?"

"Anyway," Maya begins. "Why would any of them judge you? They don't know you."

I stare at her for a time.

She gets it.

"Do you want to use my jacket?" She asks.

"What are you guys doing out here?" Lucas comes up and asks her. "You know, we have school on the inside of this building. Right?"

Farkle is with him.

"Yes, we know, cowboy. It's just that Riley is nervous, really nervous." She's indicating the problem.

Lucas gets it. Farkle gets it.

"Hold my hand." Lucas says holding his hand out.

"What? Why?" I ask him.

"We'll walk in at the same time, literally." He looks at Farkle. "Farkle, hold my hand."

He does. I grab Lucas's hand smiling at him. Maya grabs my hand.

"Okay, here we go." I say.

I can feel my heart race, race, race, as we step closer to the doors.

We open the doors. We're walking through.

I'm taking deep breathes. In and out. In and out.

I can feel myself begin to shake. Lucas's grip on my hand tightens and I return the grip.

Some students look at us when we walk in. Some don't care. Some whisper and stare. Some just stare and stare and stare.

I catch a girl staring at my arms. I smile at her and she smiles at me.

I believe I'm okay.

This is the final chapter.

Thank you so very much for reading. I love each and every one of you for sticking with this story even though it probably sucked. Ha ha.

Again thanks for reading. It's been fun.