"I'm pregnant," Sara said boldly.
She opened her eyes and looked into the reflection that was staring back at her. She had been practicing ways to announce her pregnancy to Grissom for weeks now and she hadn't even come close to narrowing down an effective delivery method. It wasn't as if she had intentionally gotten pregnant. They had taken every precaution and still one of his solders made it past the defense. Sometimes in life one of them just gets through.
"Gil," she said, straitening up and trying to look serious. "I'm going to have a baby."
She wasn't too sure why people used the statement "I'm going to have a baby". It wasn't as if one would be expecting an alien or otter pup. Still, it was yet another delivery method that was logged into the 'do not use' category.
"You're going to be a father," Sara said to her reflection as she gently put her hand on her abdomen.
With a nod Sara stood and closed the locker — it was time to put off the inevitable. She wasn't concerned about Grissom's involvement with the child. She had decided to have it with or without him. As she headed toward his office, she took slow deep breaths. Her heart pounded in her ears and she could not remember a time where she had been more nervous.
She wiped her sweaty palms on her jeans, swallowed a lump in her throat, and pushed open the door to his office. The lights inside were dim, but she could see him sitting behind his desk. His head was bent in concentration, but he looked up at her when she came in.
"Hi," he said with a smile and putting his file aside. "How are you?"
Sara returned his smile and for a moment she felt like changing her mind. He could find out about the baby in nine months, like a majority of other fathers. She could hide her growing belly with ponchos and raincoats.
"I'm fine," Sara answered. "Just tired. How are you? Working on anything important?"
Grissom shook his head. "Just looking over an old case," he said. "You look like you have something on your mind."
Sara nodded. "I do," she said. "But I am not sure how to say it."
He took off his glasses and folded his hands on his desk. "I'm all ears," he said in a soft, low voice that was reserved just for her.
"This is it," Sara thought. "Do or die."
She licked her lips, squeezed her eyes shut, and let the words spill from her mouth. "I'm pregnant," she said.
When she opened her eyes, she expected to see Grissom looking wide-eyed and open-mouthed, but the look on his face was as it had been before. He leaned back in his seat with a sigh, his eyes never leaving hers.
"How far along?" he asked in that low voice.
Sara shook her head. "I don't know," she said. "I've known for a couple of weeks, but I waited to tell you until the blood results came back."
Grissom nodded and tented his fingers. "Do you… do you want to keep the baby?" he asked.
Sara looked down and nodded. "I do," looking back up at him she added. "I don't want you to feel obligated."
Grissom stood and grabbed his coat. "Let's go get some air," he said.
~0~
Sara and Grissom sat in the Tahoe, with their veggie subs, in the parking lot in front of the Las Vegas crime lab. Both their worlds had drastically changed and Sara wasn't sure if it was for the better or for the worst.
"I don't feel obligated," Grissom finally said after a long time. "But I do feel a need to stand by you."
She reached over and took his hand in hers. "What do we do now?" she asked.
Grissom sighed. "I guess we need to come out of the closet," he said. "One of us will probably get transferred to a different shift," he thought for a moment. "Or you can quit. If you want to take a break and have the baby you can quit."
Sara chewed her lip. "I want to see how everything plays out," she said. "I don't think I can have a different supervisor. "
Grissom nodded and planted a kiss on top of her head. "No time like the present," he said, opening his sandwich to take a bite.
Sara bit into her sandwich as well, but as she swallowed she felt as if she were not alone in her own skin. For the first time since she had found out that she was pregnant, she realized that the food she was eating was being used for the baby.
~0~
"Hey guys," Sara said to Nick and Greg as they laced up their shoes. "Can I tell you something?"
"What's up?" Nick said, looking at her.
Nick was a loyal friend. His slight Texan brogue made it easy to talk to him and his personality made him a good listener. She hoped with all of her might that her friends wouldn't be mad at her for keeping such a secret from them.
"I'm going to have a baby," she said without hesitating.
It was a lot easier to tell them of her pregnancy then it was to tell Grissom, but then again they were not the ones who would be as affected. Nick looked up at her in surprise and Greg stopped mid-lace. The expressions they both wore were of shock and joy.
"Congratulations," they both finally said in unison.
Greg stood up to embrace her and she could not help but hug him back. The easy part of her task was over. Now it was time to tell them who the father was, how long she had been seeing him, and why she had kept it such a big secret.
"Who's the father?" Greg asked, unafraid to ask such a personal question.
Sara sat down on the bench and brushed hair behind her ear. "Grissom," she said.
Sara quickly looked up at both men, but instead of finding looks of ridicule she found a mixture of emotions. Greg wore a shocked look, but Nick's look was almost humorous. Finally Nick left out a small laugh and gave his head a shake.
"Man," Nick laughed. "I figured you two would end up knocking boots before it was over."
Sara's jaw dropped. "You're not even surprised?" She asked.
"I am," Nick said. "But I kind of saw it coming."
Greg shook his head. "I thought you had better taste than that," he joked. "Does he know?"
Sara nodded. "Yes," she said. "We're going to keep it."
~0~
Catherine spotted Sara sitting in the break room and made a bee-line for her. When she reached the table she took a seat and stared at her co-worker wide-eyed.
"Are you two being serious about this?" Catherine asked.
Sara nodded. "I'm guessing someone told you," she said.
"Yeah," Catherine said with a nod. "Grissom did. I wouldn't tell Ecklie if I were you."
Sara scoffed. "I am not ready to step into that bear trap," and then she added. "It's not his business who the father is. For all he knows I had a one night stand with some one-legged man at a bar."
Catherine shook her head and chuckled. "Whatever you tell him," she said as she rose. "It better be far from the truth."
~0~
After shift, Sara met Grissom in front of his car and the two drove back to his townhouse together. Exhaustion was one side-effect of pregnancy that she had felt since she first found out. Quietly Grissom took her hand, kissed it, and looked at her fingers.
"Let's get married," he said.
Sara stared blankly at him and forgot to respond. Was she ready for the turn that her life was about to take? Was she ready for a marriage, a career change, and an infant? She looked at her hand and then quickly at the man who was holding it.
Who was she kidding? She loved Grissom and she had for a long time. He loved her the same way and they were going to have a baby together. She wanted this change in her life and most of all she wanted them all to happen with Gil Grissom.
"Yes," she said. "Let's get married."
Grissom looked over at her. "Do you want to have a wedding or do you want it to be just the two of us?" he asked.
Sara thought this over in her head. She wanted her co-workers there, but she also didn't want a big fiasco. She also didn't want to be married in a tourist drive-by-wedding trap.
"Maybe if we just go to the courthouse," she said. "I don't want to be married at 'My Little Chapel of Love' or anything."
Grissom laughed at her comment. "You don't want Elvis Presley to walk you down the aisle?"
Sara shook her head. "Absolutely not," she remarked.
~0~
The two were married the next day. They said their vows quietly at the court house with only the bailiff as a witness. They decided that neither of their homes was big enough for a baby. Until a new home was found, they divided up their time between homes.
"I decided to quit," Sara said to him finally. "And I was thinking I can teach for a while."
"Whatever you want," Grissom replied, kissing her fully on the lips.
Debating whether or not to take Grissom's last name was not easy for her. She felt that she had fought as 'Sidle' for a long time and that she did not want to leave the name behind. However, a new life was going to be starting soon; a new life with a husband who supported her choice to quit her job and have a baby. It was only fair that she take his name. Besides, in a way she was gaining a part of him too.
~0~
Everyone at the lab was sad to see Sara go, but she would never be out of touch. She promised that she would always come to visit. Besides, she was still used to being awake at night and she would probably be eating lunch with Grissom until her body clock readjusted itself.
Since they hadn't been able to locate a new home yet, Sara had set up camp at Grissom's town house. She still found herself itching for something to do, so she began looking at houses via the internet. Every time she found a house she liked she imagined setting up a baby room and bringing home their bundle of joy.
There was a small part of her that was worried if she would adjust to this kind of life. For such a long time she had been a part of a system that made a difference. She was able to push herself to her limit and feel exhilarated when justice was served. Could she adapt to this change? Was she ready for a new role?
~0~
They started looking at houses when Sara was a couple months along in her pregnancy, she hadn't physically begun to show, but the side effects were all present. It was hard to find foods that wouldn't nauseate her and exhaustion seemed to be her new middle name.
The house they were currently viewing was a spacious four bedroom home. It wasn't bad commute for Grissom, but it also wasn't too close to the city. It had a nice sized kitchen and Sara tried to see herself decorating it or doing other DIY techniques.
"Sara," Grissom said, bringing her back from her daydream. "What do you think?"
Sara opened a door to a pantry and quickly wondered if it were safe for a baby. Was anything in this house safe for the baby? Did she need to look through it again?
"Do you like it?" she asked, unsure of her own answer.
Grissom looked back at the realtor. "Can we have a minute?" he asked.
When the couple was alone, Grissom took Sara in his arms and kissed her on her nose. "This is a nice house," he said. "I know a lot of things are changing, but this is a good change."
Sara leaned into him and let out a sigh. "I'm just tired," she said, and then she added. "I like the bathrooms."
Grissom nodded. "They are nice," he agreed in that low voice that was meant only for her. "But can you see us bringing our baby home here. Do you want to raise our family here?"
Sara wasn't sure, but she didn't want to tell him that. She didn't want to seem so overwhelmed that she couldn't concentrate on anything. She couldn't lie to him though. He would know if she wasn't happy.
"I can't," she said. "I don't feel it."
Grissom rubbed her back. "Then it isn't the one," he said.
~0~
They found the right house when Sara was three months along. It was a nice sized, two-story home that had wood floors. The rooms were spacious and right away Sara could see herself bringing home their baby. She could envision him or her playing in the backyard and taking its first steps in the kitchen.
Moving everything into the house was more than stressful and Grissom had to insist that Sara relax as the movers brought the furniture inside. After everything was situated, Sara was able to sort through books and assign things to their proper place.
"I want this to be the baby's room," Sara said, opening the door to a round-shaped room.
Grissom looked past her shoulder and smiled. "I can see it being a nice room for the baby," he commented. "I think it'll be perfect."
"I don't know what theme I want yet," she said, closing the door and sitting down on the couch. "I was thinking a jungle theme maybe," she placed her hand on her belly before adding. "Or maybe bugs."
Grissom sat down beside her and pulled her close. "You're just saying that," he said with a smile.
Sara laughed. "They actually have a cute bug theme I saw," she said.
She rubbed her hand over her stomach and smiled. It wasn't noticeable to everyone yet, but she could feel a difference and Grissom could too. Already she could feel it moving inside of her.
"You're nesting," Grissom joked with her. "And I think you like it."
Sara blushed and laughed. "I do not," she said. "I just want to provide a nice home for our baby."
Grissom pressed a kiss into her hair and pulled her close to him. He was in love with his wife and their life that was just beginning. He was proud of the baby they were having and he felt blessed to be so happy.
"You hungry?" he asked,
Sara shook her head. "Not right now," she said, and then she added. "I do want to go and christen our new bedroom though."
~0~
"There's the head," the ultrasound technician said as she pointed to a grey mass on the sonogram. "And here are the arms and legs."
"Can you tell the sex yet?" Gil asked, taking Sara's hand and giving it a squeeze.
"We can try," the technician replied, studying the screen.
Sara propped herself up on her elbows to get a better look. "The sex doesn't matter," she reminded.
"Of course it doesn't," Gil replied. "But at least we'll know what decorations we need. "
Sara turned her head away from him and chewed her lip. Lately she had been feeling her temper grow short. Most times she had to remind herself to relax, but sometimes it was a release to speak her mind.
"You know," she said. "I heard you can tell by peeing in a cup and mixing in some Drain-O."
Gil chuckled. "I don't think we'll have to resort to those medieval techniques."
Sara looked back up at him and smiled. "Does the sex really matter to you?" she asked, unsure as to why she was asking.
Gil shook his head. "It'll just be fun to pick out names," he said. "And buy clothes."
"Yep," the technician said proudly. "It's a girl"
She paused the sonogram and printed the screen. Sara leaned back onto the table and waited until she was handed the print out.