I had a strange dream last night. It's not unusual for me to dream, but it's usually nightmares that get to me, or it's just a large open space where I'm alone, surrounded by just this blank void, that'll usually turn into a nightmare. This new dream almost felt like a welcome change, being used to that dreamless void, or the nightmares that followed.

Instead of an endless void, I was standing in a field of wildflowers. I hadn't seen one in such a long time, outside of a field spell, that I almost knew immediately that this was a dream.

Everything was quiet and calm, the wind gentle and smelled of the flowers, unlike the foreboding wind I was used to back in Heartland, carrying with it the scent of ash and decay. Everything was so quiet, yet I wasn't feeling nervous at all. Maybe it was the effect of the dream, making me feel hazy and drowsy.

Suddenly, I felt something bump into my arm, nearly knocking me off balance. I reached forward and grabbed onto the shirt of whoever it was that was running past me.

It was a little boy, looking desperately around, afraid and frantic. I was shocked myself, seeing the familiar blue-green hair and golden eyes of my older brother. This boy looked so much younger than him and yet the resemblance was uncanny.

He was also stubborn like my brother, trying desperately to get me to let him go.

"I have to find my sister!" he pleaded, struggling to get free, "she's lost somewhere, probably scared and crying! I have to find her!"

I wanted to help him, whether or not he had a resemblance to my own brother, but my voice just wouldn't work. My feet wouldn't move. Everything was frozen in place. I couldn't figure out why my body wasn't responding to my commands. Or to his.

"Let me go!" he yelled at me, desperately trying to free himself. I wanted to let him go, but I couldn't for some reason. My grip on him just wouldn't loosen.

"Let me go!" he tried again, "I have to find Ruri! Let go of me!"

That time, it felt like something inside of me snapped and I finally released him, falling backwards as the boy took off away from me. Then, I was free falling into the empty black void, only to wake up moments before hitting the ground, causing me to wake up with a start.

I was alone in the pile of blankets, and, in a way, I was glad. How can I explain that kind of dream to Shun or Yuuto? Nightmares they could understand, and sometimes the endless black void, but I had never had a dream like that before. It felt more frightening and real than any of my previous nightmares. My bracelet felt warm too.

What on Earth was all of that? I could still feel myself shaking from the memory of that dream. Was it trying to tell me something? Trying to warn me?

I don't know... Wish I did, because that felt a little too weird to not be significant...

Hey, it looks like the sun's coming out today, after a few weeks of no sun! Finally...

It's still unbearably cold outside, but it wasn't all that bad with the sun coming out!

Shun's not impressed.

Matter of fact, he just grumbled and rolled over, using the extra blanket to cover his head from the light.

...That's right, he had watch duty last night, so it's probably better to just let him sleep for now.

Yuuto was up though, watching Shun roll over with a bemused expression on his face. Both of us knew that, even though all of us are light sleepers by habit, there are times when all of us just crash and will not wake up for nothing once we found a safe space. Shun was especially guilty of this.

So, instead, Yuuto asked quietly if I wanted to go get something to eat while Shun sleeps. I nodded, quietly making sure that Shun was warm enough by himself, adding a cheeky 'Good night, Big Brother' whisper to his covered head. His response was the best and most loving one, of course.

"Shut up and go back to sleep, Ruri."

I snickered quietly to myself and stood up with Yuuto's help, him acting like a gentleman helping a lady step over a mud puddle. Except this mud puddle was breathing, and would probably murder both of us for disturbing it without good reason.

Well, he usually threatens it, but he hasn't done it. Yet.

I mean, we're both still here, obviously. I wouldn't be writing this if I wasn't here, right?

Yuuto and I walked a little closer together to stave off the bitter cold. Both our noses and cheeks were red by the time found something edible, sitting in the sun in a vain attempt to warm up.

It did help, even if it was little bit. If not for our bodies, I'm sure it did lighten up our spirits. Like it was a reward for making it through another winter.

Has it really been three years now, since Academia had invaded?

How many of us are even left?

Outside of our group, and besides the Academia scum that are sure to come back again now that winter is over, how many people are left in Heartland?

It's hard to say. I wish I could, but I don't know. Are they in hiding, waiting for the right moment to strike back at Academia?

It's a hopeful thought.

Yet, it's rare to see groups anymore. And, though it's sick to think about sometimes, I think I prefer finding cards on the ground, like what Yuiko used to do, instead of the steadily increasing findings of-

No, I shouldn't think about that. I'd rather not lose my breakfast and worry Yuuto.

Yuuto...

Outside of Shun, he's the one who's stayed with me the longest.

I sometimes wonder if he's really okay. I mean, neither of us have found any traces of our parents, but... I still have Shun to look after me. Yuuto, as far as I know, doesn't have anyone. As long as I've known him, I don't think I have met his family. Before Academia had invaded, he was usually the one coming over and staying with us, not the other way around. Come to think of it, I don't even remember his original address, it's been so long.

I've thought about asking him about it numerous times, especially when we're alone like this, but I just never can bring myself to do it. It's his personal business, and if he wants to talk about it, I'm more than happy to listen to him. Plus, it's in the past now. Who we were back then is so different from who we are now.

We're not the little kids we used to be. No more walking home together anymore, no more sharing cookies and snacks with him after school, no more of Shun sitting in on our study sessions giving Yuuto the stink eye while Yuuto blatantly ignored him and carried on with the study session. Laughing with each other when one of us (or Shun) says or does something unintentionally (and sometimes intentionally) funny.

Now it's just... surviving together. Caring for each other when we get sick or injured. Watching each others' backs for signs of danger. Staying close to keep each other warm when it's cold. Leaning on each others' strengths when working together, whether it's to do chores and tasks, searching for supplies, or even in skirmishes against Academia. All of this, I doubt I could have done on my own. Yuuto had been my first protector in the invasion, before we had met up with Shun. And he chose to stay with us throughout all of this, never wavering in his loyalty.

What goes on in his mind, I wonder, that makes him want to stay with us for so long? I'm sure that living with me and Shun can't be easy, but Yuuto still does it, gladly sometimes. He's practically like family now.

Sort of.

I mean, I'm sure Shun thinks of him as a brother and best friend, but me...

I'm sort of confused.

I've known Yuuto for a long time now, probably as the best friend I've ever had. But, when I think of him, I don't see him as a brother, definitely not the same way I think about Shun. And best friend doesn't seem strong enough to accurately describe it. Yuuto has gone above and beyond the realm of 'friend', I think. Some of the other Resistance member I consider my friends, and there's nothing wrong with that, but Yuuto... he's on a different plane than the others.

The others have teased us about being boyfriend and girlfriend, (both of us turning red, of course) but that doesn't feel right either.

I mean... it's hard to describe.

The other girls thought of him as a cute little brother, the perfect match for Ruri, 'the little sister'. They sometimes ruffled his hair, teased him whenever he blushes, but... I don't think of him like that either. It was especially annoying when the others would made kissing noises at us if they saw us unexpectedly close together.

Yuuto would turn red at these moments. I would be lying if I said I wasn't blushing right alongside him.

Usually by then Shun would happen by and give them a death glare for implying that our relationship was more than it actually was. Or Yuiko would happen by and, though she would sometimes tease us too, if the others were going too far, she would stick out her tongue and make gagging noises. Either that or she'd exclaim 'they're fourteen! Get a life, you perverted freaks!'

I miss Yuiko. If only there was more that we could have-

Yuuto nudges my arm, pointing to something in the melting snow. I looked as hard as I could, trying to see what he was pointing out to me, noting a small splash of color.

A small flower was starting to bloom despite the cold and surrounding snow. The first flower of spring. I smiled in spite of myself.

When was the last time I had seen flowers in Heartland, really? Like, a genuine, real flower, and not a hologram?

I turned to Yuuto, to show him my excitement. Yes, I was getting excited over a tiny flower, but... after three years of not seeing them? When the norm in Heartland these days was gray, rubble and dust? Even just this small touch of color, a reminder of what Heartland used to be, brightened up my spirits considerably.

Yuuto was smiling too, happy that I had noticed the little flower. It's nowhere near how he used to smile, but I could still feel it's warmth.

Whatever Yuuto is supposed to be to me, I hope we can stay whatever it is. Don't ever change, Yuuto. Ever. You're fine just the way you are. You don't need to change.

Yuuto...

Yuuto...?

Yuuto... oh gods, Yuuto...

Yuuto!

How can- How can anyone...

No, Yuuto! You- How can-!

I'm still shaking... Yuuto...

Oh gods, Yuuto...

No! Yuuto! Yuuto!

Don't- Yuuto!

We... we found her. We found Yuuto's mom and she was... oh god...

I can't get that smell out of my nose... and those soldiers... those... those BASTARDS! She... she was already-!

Yuuto's screaming at them! No, Yuuto, don't-!

Okay, Yuuto's asleep now. Thank goodness. He was taking all of this pretty hard and... his eyes are still red from crying. I think he might have a fever too. I hope he's not getting sick, after all this.

Yuuto...

Oh... there's a lot of false starts in here...

Well, a lot has happened... A lot more than I think any of us were expecting to happen. You'd think we'd learn to expect certain things by now but...

Even after three years, there are still some things that can take us off guard, even the most hardened of us.

Like I mentioned before, we... we had found Yuuto's mom.

Unfortunately, not in a good way did we find her... I'm still shaking just remembering it.

To be more accurate, we found her corpse.

Not her card, like we how we found Yuiko's mom, but... an actual body.

From what we could tell, she had froze to death, something that all of us fear whenever the weather turns cold. All of us had been lucky these past three years, but... sometimes, others aren't as lucky as we are.

Yuuto had been devastated. The look on his face when we found her, when he recognized her face. He was utterly crushed.

Unfortunately, the winter weather was picking up, so we couldn't stay for long. We had promised Yuuto that we would come back in the morning, when it was safer, and give her a proper burial. It had to take a lot of pulling and begging, but we finally convinced Yuuto come back with us, so that he wouldn't fall to the same fate.

Now, I'm wishing we had done the burial then and there, no matter what the weather had been doing.

As we'd promised, we headed back to where we had found her, the gray sky reflecting our solemn mood.

Unfortunately she wasn't alone.

Academia soldiers...How on Earth could they be so cruel?

For whatever reason, they thought it would be funny to attack a dead woman, with a fire-based monster, I don't even remember what it was called, and burned the corpse, laughing as if it fell to pieces on the ground. All of us were horrified. The smell of a burning corpse would forever haunt my nightmares. I had to cover my mouth to keep from screaming in horror.

Yuuto, on the other hand, was livid. His fists were balled, his teeth clenched, his eyebrows burrowed so deeply. He stepped out into the open, the anger radiating off of him. I had never seen him like that, being the one who usually avoided a fight where he could.

Now, all of us were even afraid to approach him. To tell him to calm down and to step down. Even Shun, normally the one who would look for a fight, was surprised at Yuuto. He even made an attempt to approach him, but Yuuto held his arm out, instantly activating his Duel Disk. His voice was even gravelly when he spoke, as if it wasn't him there anymore. He took all of them head on, Dark Rebellion screaming in pain when it was eventually summoned. It made me feel sick, seeing Yuuto like this, hearing Dark Rebellion's cries.

Yuuto was merciless on the soldiers. Yuuto, the one normally scolded for being too soft on the enemy, for even giving them too many chances to surrender peacefully, was tearing the soldiers to pieces. For those few minutes the entire duel lasted, Yuuto had become a killer: cold, ruthless, bloodthirsty, unsparing in his wrath.

We only managed to stop him when the duel was long over, when he still attacking soldiers long after they stopped breathing, literally slaughtering them, staining the melting snow with their blood. It was like a scene out of horror movie.

The strange thing was though, when everyone tried to subdue him, he threw them off with an inhuman kind of strength, as if he was possessed.

I was afraid to approach him, to even call his name. Shun even called out to me when I started approaching him, causing him to turn on me. His eyes made my heart stop.

They were glowing, his brows were still furrowed, his mouth in a steady, grim frown. I almost didn't recognize him. His eyebrow rose when he saw me, still having that angry expression and harsh frown, but it momentarily stopped his rampage.

Of course, I did the most sensible thing and ran into his arms, barely able to hold back my tears. I was scared, and I'll admit it was incredibly stupid of me, especially after witnessing him just moments ago throwing off Shun and all the others. I would have been a feather compared to them, all them much bigger than both of us. And Yuuto did struggle when I got hold of him, screaming and growling in animal-like fury, but I refused to let him go. I don't even know what got into me, but I just knew...

Whatever was going on with Yuuto, it couldn't have been all him.

We both tumbled to the ground, soaking ourselves in the bloody snow and mud. I struggled to keep him down, screaming at him to stop, that that was enough. Yuuto wiggled and writhed, trying to free himself. Shun and the others helped to pin him down, calling his name, telling him to calm down, that it's over now.

It felt like hours, holding him down in the mud while he screamed in pain, screaming at all of us to release him. I remember crying as we held him down, my tears freezing on my face, but I refused to let him go. Finally, he eventually ran out of steam and passed out. All of us were breathing hard, our hearts racing after the scene.

I took him back to camp, dragging him the best I could around my shoulders, changed his clothes, tried to keep him as comfortable as I could. Shun had walked off with the others, trying to figure out what to do next. Everyone was worn out by Yuuto's display, and him doing... that, had concerned and frightened all of them. They were still within earshot should I start to scream for help, in case Yuuto woke up like... that.

I had blatantly refused to leave him to die out in the field, against everyone agreeing to do so. Shun had mixed feelings, but he didn't say anything to help either of us.

I had never felt so sick in my life. Yuuto was their friend and companion as much as mine, and they were just going to abandon him like that! I was lucky that they had let me carry him. I fought to keep him with us, against everyone's wishes, and stayed by his side, alone.

And, I've continued to do so, for the past few days now. I've made sure he's stayed warm, keeping a fire going nearby, using rags soaked with snow melt to cool his forehead and neck, holding his hand through the night. He's already done the same for me, back before we had joined Yuuma's group and I had that terrible cough. He had stayed with me that entire time looking after me, not abandoning me, not even once.

Now, I guess it's my turn to look after him, even if it's just me this time. Yuuto wouldn't abandon me, so I won't abandon him.

My persistence finally does pay off. As I'm wiping his face with a cold rag, his eyes finally do open, a little cloudy but back to normal. His voice is hoarse and far off, calling me 'Mom'. It hurt when he looked at me like that, tears starting to form at the corners of his eyes. I didn't have the heart to correct him, not with him looking at me like that.

Unfortunately, he figured it out on his own, his heart visibly sinking when he looked at me.

"I'm so sorry, Ruri," he admonished, his flushed face breaking my heart, "I... I left you alone. Were you okay? Where's Shun?"

He tried to sit up, but groaned in pain. He was covered in bruises, from when all of us had pinned him to the ground. I wanted to cry, seeing him in so much pain, something that didn't escape his notice as I helped him to sit up properly.

And, though it hurt to repeat the last few days to him, I still had to tell him. Finding his mom, what the soldiers did to her...

And, what he did to the soldiers.

I didn't have the heart to tell him about the others starting to distrust him. He had enough to worry about already. Still, he probably figured out, judging by his expression. He doesn't even remember doing such a horrible thing to the soldiers. Just, when he saw the burning corpse, he was just filled with so much rage, so much hatred. It was like he had lost consciousness that very moment, he remembers that little. He looked about ready to cry himself, questioning how he had lost himself like that.

"What even happened with me, Ruri?" He asked, as if I had an answer for him, "I... I was such a monster... how could I have..."

Without another word, I pulled him close, feeling my shoulder becoming wet with his tears. Of all the times I cried on his shoulder, this was the first time he had cried on mine. He clung so tightly to me, his arms almost crushing my ribs. I was afraid of letting him go, however. I felt like he might fall apart if I let him go.

"My mom..." he choked, "she... she always insisted that I stay at your house, whenever I left from school. She was glad when I became friends with you. I told her about you all the time. She wanted so badly to meet you, Ruri, and I wanted you to meet her too. But... it was never safe at my house. That's why I never took you there. My Dad... he wasn't like your dad, or Shun. Or even like Yuuma, definitely not like how Yuuma was. He... he hurt her, Ruri. He hurt her... She insisted that I stay at your house to keep me safe. I could only come home after dark, when he went to work. It was horrible, Ruri. I hated leaving her alone with that man, and yet..."

He hugged me tighter, taking a breath through his sobs.

"I tried so hard to call her after dark, when the Invasion first started. I was so anxious, Ruri. I tried to call her from your house phone so many times while you and Shun were asleep. I even tried all of our D-Gazers, but nothing worked. Not a day went by when I wasn't at least a little worried about her. But I was afraid, Ruri. I know you wanted to find your mom and dad as much I wanted to find my mom, but I was scared of being on my own. That you and Shun would leave me to find your parents, while I was left alone."

I was shocked to hear that. Shun and I would never abandon him, especially for something like that. If he had told us...

Instead of arguing with him, I just continued to comfort him the best I could. Rubbing his back, running my hand through his hair, quietly shushing him when appropriate.

"And, finally finding her like that, after all this time... She had died alone, Ruri! Cold and alone! I wasn't there with her, even in the end! Fuck, Ruri, I couldn't even stop her fucking corpse from being mangled by those Fusion bastards!"

He sobbed harder, choking on his own air, he was crying so hard.

"Why, Ruri... just why?" He said over and over again. Neither of us had an answer. I couldn't even say sorry to him. I had no words that could comfort him. I don't think there were any, not then, and definitely not now. The only thing I could do was hold him as long as I could, rubbing his back and finger-combing his hair until he fell asleep again. I wanted to cry too, seeing how deeply hurt Yuuto was by all of this. He was my best friend, the closest friend I've ever had, yet there wasn't much I could do to ease his suffering.

I feel terrible, not being able to help him in the way I wanted to, easing his sorrows, putting an end to Academia's tyranny, so that he, and everyone, didn't have to suffer anymore. What is it going to take? When is this nightmare going to end? We've had enough, Academia. When will you finally see that you've defeated us utterly? What else do you want from us?