post 1X19:

The knocking was persistent. Loud, and persistent.

And it was for that reason Joe sprinted down the stairs, fear flooding his system as a multitude of possible scenarios ran through his mind. When he opened the door, his eyes darting around to see the danger, he could only see one thing. One person.

A shivering Caitlin at his doorstep, pain written across her very being, sorrow stamped across her soul.

"Barry." It was the wrong name, it wasn't her name, and yet that was the name that slipped out from his mouth, the sadness and sympathy he felt encapsulated in the exhale. The way she slumped at its mention however, the way she relaxed at the name made him feel like it was the right thing to say.

Bundling her inside he shut the door and brought her up the stars, her body scarily pliant to the directions he was giving it. Pausing at the door of Barry's room, he pulled Caitlin closer, a worrying look thrown her way before he knocked on the door, hoping Barry was what she needed.

"Barry, Bar wake up." Joe could hear noise behind the door, grumblings from the young adult, complaining about the time and lack of sleep and whatever was flowing through his mind at the moment. But soon enough the door creaked open, the boy wiping away the sleep from his eyes, clearly still trapped in between his dreams and reality. However, the dazed look on his face was replaced by one of concern when he caught sight of why Joe was there, why he was being awoken at this hour, and his complaints died away on his tongue.

"Caitlin," and it was the sight of him, the whisper of her name on his lips that had her crumbling, the emotions she tried to repress now loose. He pulled her into his arms, rocking her slightly, praying that she would find some comfort in him.

With a quick nod to Joe who was watching this unfold before his eyes, he shut the door and drew her further inside, pulling her towards his bed and against his chest. She curled against him, so small in his arms, so delicate, so fragile. And so broken.

"Cait, look at me, look at me."

And she did, a glassy sheen covering her eyes, tears glistening unshed as she failed to hold onto her emotions. It was then he fully realised just how much the revelation would shatter her, he had been given a glimpse of it the night before, but now, holding her in his arms, body shaking from the overwhelming nature of it all, he saw it fully. And he hated the Reverse Flash all the more for it.

"I keep seeing him everywhere." Her voice shook with the confession, the confirmation of the situation striking her far worse than the consideration of it being true. "He comes into my room and he's Doctor Wells, and he's so hurt that we think he could be anyone but." Barry paused, allowing her to speak without interruption, knowing she needed to let it out and touched it was him she had chosen. "And he talks about Ronnie, about how he helped him, about how all he wanted to do is help people and we were just accusing him of being a murderer. And I'd approach him, I'd apologise, and he'd, he'd -" She cut off, her breathing erratic as the trauma of revelation overcame her, Barry's heart stopping momentarily as it unfolded before him.

"It's okay Cait, it's okay, you're here with me. Caitlin, it's okay." He pulled her head against his chest when she stopped speaking, the words whispered into her hair, the anguish she was feeling clutching at his heart, squeezing it until it physically ached along side her own.

"It's not okay Barry, it's… not…" And her chest heaved with every shaky exhale, her voice high pitched, cracking as she finally allowed the tears to roll, her frame shaking with such force, her life crumbling before her very eyes.

"Shh, Caitlin. I've got you." And he did, swearing to himself that if she ever needed anything, he would be there for her.

"But how Barry, he destroyed your life, and mine, and Cisco's… how can any of this be okay?" He was struck speechless at her words, how she could possibly think of him and the impact it would have when it was her life that had been ripped from beneath her, her life which had been turned on its head, incomprehensible to him. And yet it made perfect sense, because if there was one person who would think of others before herself, it was Caitlin. Pausing slightly, he gave himself time to gather his thoughts before opening his mouth to speak.

"I remember someone once telling me that life would get easier." He wasn't sure if she recognised her own words, but he hoped she did, he hoped she would see the impact she had had on him, how different his life would be without her. "Now, I know she was talking about something else, but it's true here too. Hey-" he lifted her chin, the tear streaks across her face so bold shining against the light that he couldn't resist the urge to stop, his hand rising to cup her neck, his long fingers spanning her neck, his calloused thumb stroking her face as he tried to remove the evidence of her tears. "Caitlin, I know you're hurt, I know you feel lost, like your whole career has been a lie, but it hasn't. Because everything led to you being at STAR Labs, to helping me save people, to helping save me. I don't think any of it could have been done without you, so every life i helped save, every person who didn't lose someone they care about, you are responsible for that, for their happiness. Do you get what I'm saying?" And with a shaky exhale she nodded, tension seeping out of her body as he quelled the fears she hadn't verbalised.

She relaxed in his arms, the scent that was uniquely Barry washing over her, soothing her fears, and for the first time after he had told them his suspicions she felt safe. He pulled her closer, a soft kiss placed on the top of her head as she calmed down, his own heart rate slowing now she seemed to calm. They stayed there not moving, his arms still tight around her, the young man refusing to loosen his hold. But she wasn't complaining; she snuggled closer to him, the steady beat of his heart comforting her, the security he provided, the strength and kindness bottled in his lean frame warming her, the chill of betrayal melting away as she remembered that there were people that were there for her, that cared for her. People like Barry.

It was then she seemed to notice how close they were, too close and too soon.

She stiffened in his arms immediately, pulling away from his warmth, even with something within her yearning to return. She ignored the look of confusion on his face, the hurt at the reaction, the thoughts of earlier, of them - of what she thought was them - kissing, now returning, the feelings swelling up in the moment of stillness between them.

"Cait, what's wrong?" She could hear the worry bleeding into his tone, his arms reaching out for her, to touch her, pausing midway when she stiffened at the thought. She staunchly avoided his eyes, not sure what he would see in them, afraid of what would be seen in them.

"Caitlin!" She jumped, teeth gnawing at her bottom lip as she debated the pros and cons of telling him what had transpired hours ago.

"It's just that you kissed me." She internally winced at how it came out, not entirely satisfied with its wording.

"What?!" His voice was slightly louder than he was expecting it to be, confusion laced into the word.

"No, not you. Everyman kissed me while he was you and I thought it was you and - yeah." She deflated at the words, uncomfortable now the confession was spoken aloud, the urge to run present but ignored.

"And what, did you enjoy it?" The smirk on his face died away as he noted the blush creeping up her face and the silence that spoke louder than any response. "Oh."

"Oh indeed." She still couldn't meet his eyes, embarrassment burning her cheeks red, any situation preferable to the awkward one she was currently enduring.

"Did you enjoy the kiss or the fact that it was me?" He didn't mean for the words to come tumbling out, his mind working faster than its filter, an almost desperate need for an answer, for the truth, overcoming him in that moment. And Caitlin's eyes met his, the panic stricken expression crossing her face all he needed to see.

He knew.

Barry didn't know how to respond, her words stirring something inside of him he thought had disappeared, something he didn't want to wake, not with her so distraught, not with the mess in their lives after the betrayal of the Reverse Flash.

She got up shakily, taking a few steps away from Barry before turning to face him. "So, thanks for this." She cringed at how shaky her voice was, "I should be heading home now, so I'll see you tomorrow." And she turned back to the door, determined to leave before the situation could become more awkward, leaving a still Barry on his bed. But he wasn't there for long, a belated realisation that she intended leave the room, to leave him, had Barry running to stop her, putting himself between her and the door.

She jumped as he cupped the crook of her elbow, his grip not allowing her to escape.

"Caitlin." And had his voice always been that low? Her eyes flittered upwards, meeting his, a swirl of emotions she would enjoy spending time deciphering and analysing in his eyes. "You've had an exhausting day, you should probably go to sleep, here." His voice was gruff and she couldn't deny that with her emotions now so raw, with her feelings bubbling just under the surface, his tone affected her more than she would care to admit, especially with everything being so new and confusing.

"I really shouldn't impose," but he chuckled at her words, tugging her closer, noting with some relief how relaxed she appeared now, how comfortable she was in his arms.

(How right she looked in his arms.)

"Caitlin." At that moment her name held so much more than a plea disguised as a playful order, her insides twisting at its utterance, her heart thumping within her as she analysed every inflection and touch.

"Alright," and it was, especially if it was the reason a smile broke out across his face, her heart skipping a beat as she cursed these newly discovered feelings. She was only left alone for a moment when he went to get her a change of clothes, the same worn shirt from weeks before in his hand as he sheepishly looked up at her, flashbacks to the night they fell asleep in front of her laptop bringing smiles to both their faces.

And it went on, neither of them moving from their place before the other, each holding the shirt held limply in their hands. their lingering moment lasting longer than it should. It was only until Caitlin cleared her throat, her expression rousing Barry from whatever thoughts he had lost himself in, indicating that he would either have to leave the room or allow her to do so she could change into the pajama. A soft 'oh' left his mouth at the realisation of what she wanted before he shuffled out of the room, his time spent trying to not think about the fact she was behind this door. Changing. Into one of his old shirts. He tried distracting himself with anything and everything, waiting for her to open the door and let him back in.

When she did so, he returned to the room, forcing his eyes to not follow the outline of her body as he did so blatantly before in the bar, a heightened sense of awareness between the both of them catching him out on so many things he didn't realise he did.

"So I guess this is good night?" And she moved towards the door, only stopping when his hand banded around her wrist, tugging her toward him with more force than necessary, her stumble into his chest leaving her leaving her momentarily breathless.

"Where do you think you're going?" He quirked an eyebrow at her, amused be her expression and waiting for a response.

"Iris' old room." It came out like a question, unsure if that was acceptable, the lady having slept in that room until recently, the quick move back into Eddie's apartment and arms leaving a dull ache in Barry. But that was nothing in comparison to this now, the sight of Caitlin so traumatised by her hero and mentor that she would come to his house at three in the morning, shaking in fear and he needed her to know that.

He shook his head slowly, a small smile adorning his face as he pointed to his own bed, her look of confusion quickly replaced by one of understanding when she realised just what he wanted, heat flooding her cheeks at the thought of it, of her body wrapped in his clothing and lying in his bed, his scent surrounding her, lulling her to sleep, the last thing she'll smell that night and the first thing she would in the morning.

Barry, having taken her pause as acceptance, walked to his bed, and pulled open his covers he smiled softly as she slipped underneath them, curling up in the residual warmth left from his body. He looked down on her in awe, unable to resist pressing a soft kiss on her forehead and a gentle whisper of goodnight before he wandered towards the door, flicking his light off. The door creaked as he opened it, his body basked in the glow of the hall light, pausing slightly before turning to leave, her voice stopping him immediately.

"Hey, where do you think you are going?" And if she didn't think he would notice how she repeated his words at her almost verbatim, she was wrong. Because he did.

"Well, if you're crashing my room I figured I should be the one to take Iris' old room or the couch or -"

"I'm not going to attack you in your sleep Barry," she smiled at him, her vulnerability slipping into the cracks of her expression, the need for a comforting presence, for his comforting presence, overpowering her emotions. "Please, it would - it'd be nice knowing I was safe when I was sleeping."

"Okay." He slid in behind her, his cold toes brushing against the skin of her calves, eliciting a shiver down her spine and a gasp of surprise.

And he was stiff beside her, unsure how to go forth with the new information, not quite knowing what would be acceptable, where the line was between them. Huffing in annoyance Caitlin grabbed his arm and wound it around her waist, locking their fingers together and relaxing against him. Slowly but surely she felt the tension seep out of him and pull her closer. It was then that she allowed herself to succumb, she felt herself being drawn into the safety of sleep, his protecting arms around her. But she couldn't, not with his eyes watching her as intensely as they were, bearing into her back. so she turned, facing him instead, teetering on the cusp of oblivion, finally allowing herself to sleep and knowing it would be peaceful, that he would protect her from the nightmares that would lurk on the edge of her dreams.

"What?" And she met his eyes sleepily, the bright green shining in the dark the last thing she saw before she fell asleep, too far gone to hear his response.

"Nothing."