Hey there! I'm not dead! :D I've updated my last fic, what? 2013? Yeaahh... Please don't kill me!

As you can see, I'm trying - for the first time in my life, if you may - writing about... [insert drum roll, please] ... TMNT! Yes, I'm that dorky... Don't jugde! You have your dark secrets, allow me mine!

It's '03 turtles, I guess... Or a little '07? Dunno, just an angsty one-shot.

Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I don't own Raphie... Or TMNT...

We always knew - in the back of our minds - that he would be the first one to go. We just never wanted to believe it.

He's invincible. Immortal, even. The strong and fierce one, impossible to kill. He's our brother, our protector and the one to watch our backs. But every time he went topside - alone - in a fit of rage, we could not stop ourselves from worrying.

As time passed, we became more used to his nightly trips. He always returned. He always would. Every morning we would wake up and hear him snoring in his own room. Sometimes he was hurt - bad, even - but always, always alive, attitude intact. So we stopped worrying.

He's invincible. Nothing too bad would happen to him, no matter how often he curses 'the turtle luck'.

That's what we believed, all of us.

It was too often that we fought, him and I. He stormed off. But by the morning he was back. Would always be. He's my immortal brother. Not going to die.

I sometimes wondered how it would come to us? Death, I mean. A ninja's life; our lives are dangerous - filled with blood and cruelty, violence and death. It was only a matter of time before one of us wouldn't make it. We knew it. Still we ignored it.

Nothing was going to happen.

In the back of our minds we knew it would be him.

But he's invincible. Nothing would happen.

Would we die together, or would one of us go first?

We knew the answer in the back of our minds.

Would it happen when he was alone, on one of his nightly trips topside? Or maybe when we fought our enemies, together?

We did not know.

But he's immortal. Nothing ever happened. Would not happen.

Still, we knew in the back of our minds.

He's invincible.

But now I'm holding him. He's scared. He should not be. He's too strong to be scared. He's invincible.

He's bleeding. Too much blood.

I'm ignoring it. Nothing's going to happen to him.

He's begging. He shouldn't. His pride wouldn't allow him to. He can't be my brother. Not my strong, fierce brother.

He's dying.

He can't be. He's immortal.

Invincible.

And then it dawned to me; maybe he's not? Not immortal. Not invincible. Maybe he's just my little brother.

Not just.

My little brother, who's bleeding too much. Can't stop it, I've been trying.

My little brother, who's dying.

My strong, fierce, mortal, little brother, bleeding, begging, dying!

"I'm sorry", he whimpers, so uncharacteristically.

"I don't wanna go..."

"I'm sorry..."

"I don't wanna die..."

He keeps mumbling this mantra, growing weaker by seconds.

"I don't wanna go.."

My heart brakes a little more with every word. I don't want to remember him like this; weak, bleeding, dying. Still I can't look away.

Our two other brother's are doing their best to show him a brave face - and utterly failing at it. Tears run down their cheeks as streams. As do mine.

"I'm sorry."

"It's ok", I whisper. I press him closer to myself. "It's ok."

Something is stuck in my throat. It burns, and I choke on it. Every comforting word I utter feels as though broken shards of glass. "It's ok."

He grows weaker by seconds. "It's ok."

I feel him relaxing slightly. "It's ok."

Don and Mikey have given up on trying to save him. "It's ok."

I now sob freely, choking on the two hardest words I've ever forced myself to repeat: "It's ok."

He looks me in the eye. Through the tears in my eyes, I look into his; a mixture of feelings I've never seen, dulled with the strong spirit of his slowly leaving the body. No anger, no rage. No glaring, no hate. But fear and love and... gratitude?

He has stopped his mantra, it taking too much energy. Slowly, I see everything fading from him. And the amber gaze that's locked with mine - the gaze that has always reflected him - dulls into a lifeless stare.

Before our very eyes our brother slips away, beyond our grasp. We all see it, but are unable to do a thing about it.

And finally, there's nothing. Just a body. For it no longer is my brother, but a mere vessel his spirit once resided.

And I scream, an agonizing and animalistic roar escaping my chest.

For he's gone. My invincible brother. My spirit's protector. Our brother.

For Raphael is gone.

So... Reviews, anyone?